What's your Opinion of them Skinny Hose?

[sincerely_helene]

A friend of mine recently confided he was quite upset about an encounter with someone he had been dating and genuinely felt he had a future with.

This was the scenario:
He approaches her in a library, and they instantly discover they have a lot in common. Almost everything, including occupation, family history, and outside interests are mirrored in one another. The only thing they don't share is that she is a tad on the frigid side and doesn't feel comfortable expressing any form of affection (hugging, kissing, etc,) until she is absolutely secure about the status of her and her partner.

Anyway, he decides she is well worth the wait and doesn't force the issue until it is evident she is ready to proceed further. One evening, after some heavy duty mutual teasing, he kisses her, and then moves in for the big hug. Suddenly, his fingers trace something awekward and crinkly atop the fabric of her dress. She wriggles a little, but niether of them mention anything. He assumes he has had too much to drink and must be imagining things.

They stagger back to her apartment, where she strips down to nothing and stands before him in wait. It is then that he realizes she has been wearing a tummy, waist, butt and thigh controller which reduces her to at least 3 to 4 inches her normal size.

He broke up with her that night. His reasons were that she had decieved him, and that she should have known he would love her despite her flaws. He says it made him wonder what else she had to hide.

My question:

Do you think he was being sincere about his reasons for the seperation, or just making up excuses because he was dissapointed?

Would you react the same way if it was you in that situation, and if so why? If not, why not?

Do you think she was in the wrong for not being honest with him from the start?

Do you feel this is any different from someone who has undergone major cosmetic surgery to improve their figure, and if so, how?

 

[mlady_france]

Okay, I must say that this does concern me a bit. I have in the past worn the control top hoes, not to mention panties with tummy control and my favorite new piece my corset. I can usually take myself down a size or two sometimes a bit more depending on how devoted I am to getting into the outfit of the day. I've always considered it much like any other cosmetic. Many women use mascara to thicken and lengthen their eye lashes. Lipstick to make their lips fuller. I've always put such figure control under garments in that same catagory. So, if she wore red lipstick all the time and when he kissed her it smudged, would he say she was hiding the true color of her lips? We all do little things to make ourselves feel more atractive, down to the deoderant we ware. And the fact that she was not comfortable expressing affection until a certain point makes me also wonder about her self confidence levels. It may have taken her that long to know she could trust him, feel safe with him knowing that she exactly how she appeared to be. How many of us have rushed to primp ourselves a bit before our lover turns and looks at us for the first time after an intimit interlude? I have to say, it seems to me like this was just an excuse. And if he really was that disapointed in three or four inches, it really makes me sad.

 

[rgraham666]

Do you think he was being sincere about his reasons for the seperation, or just making up excuses because he was dissapointed?

Just making excuses. Nobody is going to be exactly the way we expect. Especially when courting we put our masks on. We shouldn't be too surprised about what's under the mask.

Would you react the same way if it was you in that situation, and if so why? If not, why not?

No. For reasons stated above.

Do you think she was in the wrong for not being honest with him from the start?

Yes. But on the other hand we're constantly told about what standards of 'beauty' and 'normalcy' we have to fit into, so I'm not surprised she did something like this.

Do you feel this is any different from someone who has undergone major cosmetic surgery to improve their figure, and if so, how?

Only in degree. Surgery though, demonstrates how much our 'standards' have damaged a person's self respect. Surgery can't be undone.

 

[oggbashan]

1950s memories

When Og was young (if ever there was a time when I was) during the 1950s, panty-girdles, corsets, corsellettes, waspies and other control garments were worn by young women even those who didn't really need their aid.

Any young man had to learn how to get inside these garments if he was to achieve his object. His most useful tool was his






















tongue. Either using his voice to persuade the young lady to co-operate in the removal of the obstructing garment, or by direct application of the tongue in the near vicinity of her armoured pussy to encourage her to remove the garment herself. Modern youth has lost the art of undressing a woman seductively when she is wearing control garments.

Neither considered the garment to be false advertising. Foam rubber padding to enhance breasts was to be expected but thought, by the young man, to be slightly unfair. If, however, he had achieved such intimacy that he found the artificial enhancements, a gentleman was expected to ignore them and concentrate on the real flesh underneath.

Og

 

[Colleen Thomas]

A friend of mine recently confided he was quite upset about an encounter with someone he had been dating and genuinely felt he had a future with.

This was the scenario:
He approaches her in a library, and they instantly discover they have a lot in common. Almost everything, including occupation, family history, and outside interests are mirrored in one another. The only thing they don't share is that she is a tad on the frigid side and doesn't feel comfortable expressing any form of affection (hugging, kissing, etc,) until she is absolutely secure about the status of her and her partner.

Anyway, he decides she is well worth the wait and doesn't force the issue until it is evident she is ready to proceed further. One evening, after some heavy duty mutual teasing, he kisses her, and then moves in for the big hug. Suddenly, his fingers trace something awekward and crinkly atop the fabric of her dress. She wriggles a little, but niether of them mention anything. He assumes he has had too much to drink and must be imagining things.

They stagger back to her apartment, where she strips down to nothing and stands before him in wait. It is then that he realizes she has been wearing a tummy, waist, butt and thigh controller which reduces her to at least 3 to 4 inches her normal size.

He broke up with her that night. His reasons were that she had decieved him, and that she should have known he would love her despite her flaws. He says it made him wonder what else she had to hide.

My question:

Do you think he was being sincere about his reasons for the seperation, or just making up excuses because he was dissapointed?

Would you react the same way if it was you in that situation, and if so why? If not, why not?

Do you think she was in the wrong for not being honest with him from the start?

Do you feel this is any different from someone who has undergone major cosmetic surgery to improve their figure, and if so, how?

I sometimes wear a corset. no one who has coaxed me out of my dress has ever complained.


Do you think he was being sincere about his reasons for the seperation, or just making up excuses because he was dissapointed?

It's very hard to say without knowing him. If, as part of gettin gpast her frigid facade, he felt moved to be totally honest and open abou tall his flaws, he could very well feel blindsided. On the face of it thought, it sounds like an excuse.

Would you react the same way if it was you in that situation, and if so why? If not, why not?

Oh hell no. I can find beauty in most any woman. No one will look good forever, even the best looking woman will age. If all the other things are there, we can slip gracefully into the part of our lives together were sex isn't the major concern.

Do you think she was in the wrong for not being honest with him from the start?

Really tough. Most women want to look good when they go out. We use base to cover facial flaws, coloring to hide grays, bras to hold up boobs fighting a looseing battle with gravity or to give us the appearance of what we don't have, we choose colors, patterns and cuts to accentuate what's nice and downplay whats not. I don't think of myself as being decpetive when I put on a bra in the morning, I need the support, but if someone expects my boobs to stand up like that when I'm naked, shes going to be dissappointed.

Of course if you are dating a "breast man" and he's been patiently trying to get his hands on thoes big beauties under your fuzzy sweater and it turns out your wearing a padded, waterfilled, wonderbra, he has a legit complaint I think. Radical slimming garments too. But if he is that wrapped up in the physicality of the relationship, you have to wonder what kind of basis there was for a lasting relationship anyway.



Do you feel this is any different from someone who has undergone major cosmetic surgery to improve their figure, and if so, how?

It's different, in that surgery dosen't just seek to change your appearance, it changes your body. In the case of breast man earlier, the difference in superwonderbra and bust augmentation is, his phyiscal expectation is met.


Overall, I don't think you are ever going to win with someone whose primary interest is physical, because, short of magic, you aren't going to be able to hang on to your looks forever.

 

[Couture]

He broke up with her that night. His reasons were that she had decieved him, and that she should have known he would love her despite her flaws. He says it made him wonder what else she had to hide.

Shit-what an asshole. Why not just stick a knife through the poor girl's heart? It would be less painful.

You think if she had a killer body and he discovered big fake breasts he would have had the same reaction? I don't think so. And if he had such high morals, why is he getting her drunk to get in her panties? And if he loved her so dearly, why not be a man, why was he so callous in breaking up with her when she was most vulnerable?

 

[mack_the_knife]

I regard such 'accessories' like cosmetics or expensive jeans, just packaging to make the product more desirable on the shelf. By the time you're happily plowing your way through the clothes, you should have found other things than their body to turn you on, or moved on.

 

[Liar]

The guy is either overreacting like a gawd-knows-what, or he's using that as a very lame excuse to break up with her for other resons.

You ask, Helene, if I think what she did is any different from cosmetic surgery. In a way, no.

But then again, people all do what she did, every day.

They paint their faces with make-up.
They buckle their belt one extra notch.
They wear uncomfortable, but fashionable shoes and clothes.
They wear shirts with vertical stripes (supposed to make you look thinner).
They cover up birth marks, moles and so on with, for instance, long sleeves.
They wear lenses instead of glasses.
They grow a beard to cover up the double chin.
They wear bras that compensate for the gravitational pull.
They use whitening toothpaste.
They wear baggy clothes to even out excessive curves in the wrong place.

Some of those are more or less male things, some are more or less female. The action is the same though. Hiding a feature of you that you don't like. We all do it, all the time. I'll bet that guy did at least one of the things I listed above on a regular basis.

 

[neonlyte]

A friend of mine recently confided he was quite upset about an encounter with someone he had been dating and genuinely felt he had a future with.

....

They stagger back to her apartment, where she strips down to nothing and stands before him in wait. It is then that he realizes she has been wearing a tummy, waist, butt and thigh controller which reduces her to at least 3 to 4 inches her normal size.

Perhaps his personal fear was the three or four inches he might have to offer.

I'm largely with Og, the romance of disrobing has a lot to commend it - from both sides, there is a great deal of enchantment to be had in watching a partner undress (or dress), he didn't deserve her.

 

[AppleBiter]

His reasons were that she had decieved him, and that she should have known he would love her despite her flaws.

Does anyone else see the irony in this? "I would've loved you despite your flaws and since you're showing me your flaws, I'm leaving you."

 

[DevilishDesires]

Do you think he was being sincere about his reasons for the seperation, or just making up excuses because he was dissapointed?

I don't think he was being sincere, not knowing him I'm just making a snap judgement but it sounds like all he wanted was the sex. He was just upset because after putting in so much time to get into her pants that her ass was a little bigger and her breast hung a little lower. Sounds like a world class scumbag to me, for shit's sake it's only three or four inches.

Would you react the same way if it was you in that situation, and if so why? If not, why not?

Fuck no, if I had a naked woman standing infront of me the last thing I'd be doing is taking out the measuring tape and looking for flaws.

Do you think she was in the wrong for not being honest with him from the start?

I agree with almost everyone else, we all do things to enhance our appearance so I don't feel she wasn't being honest, just doing what she needed to feel comfortable going out in public.

Do you feel this is any different from someone who has undergone major cosmetic surgery to improve their figure, and if so, how?

Slightly, as this girl hasn't permanently altered her appearance, just temporarily so she could fit the established concept of beauty.

 

[Mari J]

The guy sounds like a drama queen in the making. He wanted to have a scene.

After all, women change their shape all the time. Shoulder pads? The supposedly slimming effect of wearing black? Get over it. And he should get over himself.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Perhaps his personal fear was the three or four inches he might have to offer.

*snort*

I have a good friend who lost a lot of weight and wears one to kind of smooth out the lines... but she is very up front with anyone she's going to to get nekked with...

This girl sounds like she was already self-conscious about her body... and he fed those fears. I feel bad for her. And it sounds to me like he is very... I guess superficial is the kindest word...

for pete's sake, we'll all gonna get old and wrinkly eventually... even him...

I hope he finds the Barbie...er... girl... of his dreams...

No offense, I know he's your friend... but frankly, I think the corset girl is better off without him...

 

[LadyJeanne]

Well, when exactly was she supposed to have revealed this so-called flaw?

When they met at the library?
"I love the Smurfs, too! What a coincidence! Do you also wear a girdle like I do?"

When he comes to the door?
"Do you like my new dress? I'm wearing a girdle underneath."

During dinner?
"Honey, will you please pass the salt? Oh, and did I mention that I'm wearing a girdle under my dress?"


If he thinks that this lady was being dishonest with him, what will happen when he realizes that most of the blondes he lusts after use hair dye?

 

[elsol]

Do you think he was being sincere about his reasons for the seperation, or just making up excuses because he was dissapointed?

Taking an available excuse to walk.

Would you react the same way if it was you in that situation, and if so why? If not, why not?

Hmm... depends.

If I wanted all I wanted to get my dick wet, it's still pussy.

If I wanted more, I'd back off a little and wait to see if the psychosis of wearing something that reduces you a few INCHES is something serious.

Chubby, tubby, plump, fat are all okay... PSYCHO is not.

Do you think she was in the wrong for not being honest with him from the start?

Difficult question...

Makeup...whatever.
Flattering clothes... YOU GO, GIRL!
BDSM gear... sorry, not my thing.

The way you phrase the question, yes there is something wrong... She was NOT honest, she KNEW she was not being honest.

The onus is not on her being food-friendly at that point, but her being dishonest.

Do you feel this is any different from someone who has undergone major cosmetic surgery to improve their figure, and if so, how?

[/quote]

*burp*

It looks nicer when the curtains come down... but at the end of the day, it's probably a little more disturbing.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[LadyJeanne]

Do you feel this is any different from someone who has undergone major cosmetic surgery to improve their figure, and if so, how?

I always wonder what happens to those women (and men) who get nose jobs and then have children and the Nose appears...

 

[Ferawyn]

I always wonder what happens to those women (and men) who get nose jobs and then have children and the Nose appears...

Well, once you have the address...

 

[Kassiana]

I'd never wear anything like that myself. I like comfortable clothing. Stuff that squeezes isn't comfortable.

If someone else wants to wear it? Okay, it's their money. They can spend it on anything, be it Smurf gear or girdles or golf memorabilia.

If my date wore it? If it was to slim down, my goal would probably be to encourage him to diet and exercise instead as it'd be healthier for him in the long run. If it was because he liked things squeezing him, hey, suit up all you'd like. Just don't expect me to do it as well.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I always wonder what happens to those women (and men) who get nose jobs and then have children and the Nose appears...

buy them nose jobs for their junior high graduation...?

S_Helene, excuse me for saying this about your friend, but it sounds to me like she was better finding out what a shallow ass he is now, rather than later, after she'd become more emotionally invested. May she find someone who appreciates her for what she is, and may he find himself with some karmic payback.

 

[Alex756]

After thinking about this for a while today....

Modifying your body has alot of reasons behind it. If the woman was wearing that stuff bacause she was THAT insecure to be modified with restraining devices to that level, is kinda a sign to run, run far far away. Especially if they had known each other for a bit of time, I mean, it seems like there are 'issues' with both sides. But alot depends on how long they knew each other before the incident happened. After a while a certain degree of honesty is expected.

However, I don't walk up to people and go, "Hi, I'm Alex, think the doctor did a good job on my ears?" But really once you have a consemtic surgery its permanent, it is part of who you are for the rest of your existence. I don't think it should be hidden, but no more relevant than the trip I took when I was in 4th grade to meet my uncle, Its in the past and now a part of you as a broken bone would be. However, everyone I have ever seriously dated knew my ears are the product of a surgeon's knife. And let me assure you, my ears are alot more subtle than 3-4 inches

As for HOW to approach it? at some point when talking she could have mentioned she was shy or whatever about her weight or size and worked it in. Wouldn't have taken a rocket scientist to work it in if she tried. I think her NOT taking the effort to mention it did indicate deception

~Alex

 

[BlackShanglan]

I can't say that I think your friend's actions speak highly of him when one weighs the relative elements of "deception." I don't think that attempting to present oneself as attractive is really "deception"; there's really only so much difference a support garment can make, and part of me wonders already if your friend's report on the nature of the difference it made is especially unbiased. He didn't like that the package didn't match the contents perfectly; eh. So? Women used to wear bustles. I can't imagine anyone thought that they'd find the same shape underneath them. This is a much less drastic difference, and I really can't say that it rises to the level of "deception" to me.

I don't expect a date to give me a run-down of every bit of makeup, strategic dressing, or padding undertaken. I could live with a male date who stuffed his pants, for example, if I'd gotten to know and like him; I'd assume it was just a slightly sad sign that he was worried that I wouldn't like him if he wasn't "hung," and I would rather enjoy the process of relieving those lingering worries. Same goes for a female date with a padded bra. It is not, to me, deception because there's no implied contract or common belief that people are precisely the same under their clothing as they appear with it on. We're all familiar with the fact that clothing makes a difference, and we're not being "lied to" if the contents are slightly different. If one is hiding a major shock - differing gender springs to mind, or vastly different elements of anatomy, like parts missing or five sizes smaller - it would be wise to let one's date know, but in my opinion that's for the benefit of both parties. I'd like to know if someone likes what I really am before I get naked with him/her.

This, to me, is the element of deception I'd really focus on. Why, one might ask, did your friend choose not to tell his date that someone with an extra three or four inches is unacceptable to him? Perhaps because he thought he might sound like a body-image-obsessed jerk? Was it any less deceptive of him not to own to this preference than it was for her to try to present herself in an attractive light? I find his essential dishonesty, if we wish to rise to that level, the more disturbing. Yes, we all try to present the most attractive side of ourselves when dating, and that often includes not saying things like "actually I really just like an attractive body; that's a deal-breaker to me." I don't think it deceptive per se to avoid saying such things, but then I don't think it deceptive to dress so as to look one's best. If your friend thinks that the latter is deceptive, then I think he should consider that the former would also have to be - and in a much uglier sense. He chose a cruel way to dump this poor girl, and I think his reasoning for it smacks of convenient justification and invented self-righteousness. If he sincerely cared for the young lady, I think he would have found her desperate atttempts to appear attractive to him flattering if a bit sad, a sign that she very much liked him and wanted to be what he was looking for. To impute to a very common and reasonably predictable fact - that a woman was wearing foundation garments - a sinister and deceptive purpose sounds to me like someone who wants an excuse that sounds better than his real motivations.

Rather deceptive of him, wouldn't you say?

Shanglan

 

[LadyJeanne]

Rather deceptive of him, wouldn't you say?

Shanglan

Well said, Shang.

Besides, if he's going to accuse her of deception for wearing her own underwear, what's going to happen if she has to cancel a date because she's working late?

Either he's a jerk or a fool, and she's certainly better off knowing it now.

Sorry, helene. I know he's your friend, but I think he's being really obnoxious about this.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Okay, this is interesting. It's tough to tell exactly where the line between self-presentation and deception might come into play. Attraction is important ealry on, at least I think it is. Basically, it's like you guys have all been saying: Overtime, it makes little difference. We all change our appearances, and we get old. But in the short time, while you're just dating, and don't have access to those things that'll keep you loving a person for however long it might last. Attraction is a good part of wanting someone early on.

That's not to say he wasn't an ass hole about it, or that it's any different than wearing make-up. But we have to understand, as people, that these things we hold back, that we offer up a bit at a time, but don't advertise on the billboard we make ourselves into day in and day out... They can be deal-breakers. I don't wear shirt with measurements on them, but if I'm dating a girl, and she wants 8 inches... It won't last. It's life.

Q_C

 

[BlackShanglan]

That's not to say he wasn't an ass hole about it, or that it's any different than wearing make-up. But we have to understand, as people, that these things we hold back, that we offer up a bit at a time, but don't advertise on the billboard we make ourselves into day in and day out... They can be deal-breakers. I don't wear shirt with measurements on them, but if I'm dating a girl, and she wants 8 inches... It won't last. It's life.

I don't have a problem (per se) with him saying "those three inches were a deal-breaker." That is, I would think him shallow and ridiculous, but I suppose such people must be permitted to exist. My complaint is his attempt to turn this into a high-flown moral issue - "She deceived me!" - rather than just admit to being a body-oriented person and living with the fact that others may and indeed will think him shallow. Yes, some people find those statistical measurements deal-breakers. But surely if they want brutal honesty on the topic of whether one meets those ideals, then they must also be brutally honest on the topic of what they are looking for in relationship: a set of physical statistics.

Shanglan

 

[Halo_n_horns]

He broke up with her that night. His reasons were that she had decieved him, and that she should have known he would love her despite her flaws. He says it made him wonder what else she had to hide.

He did the right thing. Though I think the reasons are more broad-spectrum than just the obvious deception. She feels so insecure about herself as to lead someone on like that, then she probably would have been little more than a pain in the ass for him in the long run.

Good for him. Nip that shit in the bud and be done with it before it escalates.