What's the dumbest way you almost died?

[cubbyfire04]

I'll go first...

This morning around 4am, I walked from the bedroom towards the kitchen to make my coffee. As I walked back to the bedroom to get ready for the day, I slipped on an ice cube that must've dropped out of the ice maker and I spilled my coffee as I tried to catch myself. Success! I didn't fall!

Until... I returned with paper towels to clean up the coffee. I proceeded to slip on the SAME FUCKING ICE CUBE and tumble into the dining room head first. I managed to catch the banister at the stairs leading down to the front door, which lessened my fall quite a bit.

Until... The paper towels in my hand provided me with zero traction to support my body weight and my hand slipped down the railing, causing me to tumble down the stairs and into the front door. Luckily I tumbled "gracefully" and popped right up without a scratch. Everything was fine.

Until... My home security alarm let out a deafening shriek. I realized I'd forgotten to turn it off and that the impact of me slamming into the door had knocked the sensors out of alignment. I had to sprint all the way back up the stairs to my bedroom to shut it off. Of course, this madness woke the other 3 people and 3 dogs in the household.

Finally, after receiving a call from my security company and assuring them it was an accidental alarm, I was still left with the task of cleaning up the coffee... and THAT FUCKING ICE.

 

[Acktion]

Which time? Dude, my friends have had a Darwin Plaque etched just waiting for the end date for decades!

Mom was convinced I came into this world looking for the exit.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Absentmindedly walked into traffic on an avenue.

 

[Deacon_Voss]

Hit by a car when I was five. door handle got me in the head.

2013 I almost died of edema. I was told to get my affairs in order. I had no idea they actually said that line to patients.

 

[Chillygirl]

Dogs tripped me going down the stairs and I ended up with one leg up behind my head foot wedged in the banister and the rest of my body slammed up against a steel door with a large glass window. I still don’t know how my hand didn’t break through the glass...

 

[Chillygirl]

I'll go first...

This morning around 4am, I walked from the bedroom towards the kitchen to make my coffee. As I walked back to the bedroom to get ready for the day, I slipped on an ice cube that must've dropped out of the ice maker and I spilled my coffee as I tried to catch myself. Success! I didn't fall!

Until... I returned with paper towels to clean up the coffee. I proceeded to slip on the SAME FUCKING ICE CUBE and tumble into the dining room head first. I managed to catch the banister at the stairs leading down to the front door, which lessened my fall quite a bit.

Until... The paper towels in my hand provided me with zero traction to support my body weight and my hand slipped down the railing, causing me to tumble down the stairs and into the front door. Luckily I tumbled "gracefully" and popped right up without a scratch. Everything was fine.

Until... My home security alarm let out a deafening shriek. I realized I'd forgotten to turn it off and that the impact of me slamming into the door had knocked the sensors out of alignment. I had to sprint all the way back up the stairs to my bedroom to shut it off. Of course, this madness woke the other 3 people and 3 dogs in the household.

Finally, after receiving a call from my security company and assuring them it was an accidental alarm, I was still left with the task of cleaning up the coffee... and THAT FUCKING ICE.

Did you finally get to enjoy your coffee? Was it delicious?

 

[HeavyBalls]

Indian Jones boulder chase style event in a stairwell...

 

[Deleted member 3041612]

I tripped off of the curb into the street slowly and ungracefully just as the movie theater directly in front of me on the other side of the street (from where I tripped) let out. There was a clear view of me going down into a Superman looking flying slide onto the street. Cars passed by me with the people inside laughing and pointing. One gentleman stopped, got out of his car and asked me if I was alright. I responded, “I’m fine, but my pride is causing me to die a bit inside”.

 

[Lady2020]

I still remember nearly accidentally hanging myself from a clothes line as a kid. I was jumping off something, don't remember what, into a kiddie pool. Next thing I knew I was hanging by my neck on the wire clothes line. I hung there for a few seconds, not being able to breathe. I think my body weight finally helped me slide off. Scared the hell out of me. Only other incident that made me wonder if I was going to make it was bleeding out and not being able to talk due to the pain.

 

[saustin5432]

I once laid my chest on an open electrical box with 4 open circuits. That really hurt. I'm glad no one had to find my roasted body in the attic.

 

[Plane_Guy]

Spun a Cessna lower than I should've. Young and dumb...

 

[mynameisben]

I stuck a fork in my toaster to retrieve a wedged piece of toast. The shock I received knocked me out on the kitchen floor for over an hour.

It was over a year before I felt the urge to toast some bread.


Ben

 

[OxfordJack]

Fell off a step ladder in the garden last summer...hit a paving slab and broke my shoulder. if I'd tipped the other way my head would have collided with a concrete bird bath

 

[cubbyfire04]

Did you finally get to enjoy your coffee? Was it delicious?

I did, and thank you for asking! I savored every sip from the safety of my kitchen table before taking another step

 

[bobb_sledd]

I spent the first 25 years of my life trying to scare myself to death, came close a few times!

One of the more notable events -- cut away my main parachute because it was fouled and un-steerable (right riser release, for those in the know). The reserve opened in even worse shape (inverted with a number of line-overs). Ended up landing in a pineapple field going backwards at close to 30mph.

 

[mnbreastluver]

I’ve had quite a few brush with deaths. Some more scary than others because I had time to think about them. I’ll go with the shortest one. I was at my best friends grand parents farm. I went to pee in the bushes and what I didn’t know was there was an electric fence to contain their cows. A rather shocking experience.

 

[SmartIsSexy64]

I'll pick one. Used gasoline to start a bonfire - a lot of gasoline. Stood close by as the flames burst and singed off most of my hair. Realizing I was standing next to the gas can I picked it up, wound up and tossed it. Of course the cap was off so I wound up in the middle of a circle of fire.

I jumped through it, only to hear my (then) 3 year old daughter say "Look Mommy, Daddy's on fire"

 

[AlexBailey]

When I was a kid, a friend and I found some gunpowder in an old shed. We wanted to make a cannon that could shoot a railroad spike so we found a pipe with a cap on the end, drilled a hole for a touch fuse and packed it full of powder, wadding and steel.

We propped the pipe up on a saw horse, aimed it at a hillside and tried to set it off with a magnifying glass. Fortunately there were too many clouds to set off the touch hole fuse. That night I told my step-brother about it - he told our parents that I'd made a pipe bomb, and we most certainly had.