What's the appeal - - Honestly

[BobbyBrandt]

Writing fictional erotic scenes allows us as authors to show why certain sexual acts or kinks appeal to our characters. The purpose of this thread is to allow us to explain why any particular act appeals to us in real life.

No judgement, just honest disclosure among the community members in the hopes that understanding why others find something appealing might get translated into more credible writing when the particular act appears in a story.

I’ll start…

Facials/Body Painting:

The appeal to me has changed somewhat over the years.

As a teen, the appeal was lessening the chance of getting some girl pregnant. I know, not the most reliable approach, but fortunately, it worked for me.

As I got older, and particularly after my vasectomy, the appeal became more of a practical one. Simply put, it made it easier for the girl/woman to clean up after the fact. If we planned to continue our escapades, starting fresh was appealing. (Then there was also the reduced risk of leaving any trace DNA evidence behind.)

 

[iwatchus]

I'll bite. One of my real life kinks is voyeurism. I know, shocking given my pen name, right?

At one level, I want to know that other people are sexually excited. Maybe I need that to justify my own feelings. I don't know. But that's a lot of what I am looking for. (Or listening for if you read The Aureur). Of course, I am visual and do like to see a beautiful human body.

But as I thought about this, there is a deeper, non-sexual level as well. I have mentioned in other threads that I am an inveterate eaves dropper, especially in restaurants -- I eat out way too much, especially since me knee won't currently let me cook. I want to understand people, understand what is going on inside them. Voyeurism is one avenue to that.

 

[onehitwanda]

Then there was also the reduced risk of leaving any trace DNA evidence behind

... wait, what?

 

[jsmiam]

I’ll continue with one that has dual misunderstandings: liking feet.

I don’t know why. Some are just beautiful and I wanna touch (and more). Not all.

Without even resorting to conditioned responses, they can be dirty. And if a person earlier walked barefoot through the grass, even if they had on sandals, sucking those toes could be a mouthful of e-coli, fertilizer, weed killer, and bug killer. Poison, quite literally. Mood killer, huh? And that’s not even considering the stuff living there as an ecosystem. So even for those of us who are smart enough to be aware of the risks, we still like them.

Second misunderstanding is that liking feet automatically means a submissive perspective. No. Some people just think a nice pair of feet are sexy.

Continuing OP’s dash of humor: “and ohhh boy, if they’re an amputee! Bonussss!” (Kidding!!!)

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

... wait, what?

Caught that bit too, eh?

 

[iwatchus]

Continuing OP’s dash of humor: “and ohhh boy, if they’re an amputee! Bonussss!” (Kidding!!!)

That just makes me think of imaginary lover. You can imagine the feet to be whatever you want!

 

[iwatchus]

... wait, what?

I have to say, after just thinking about Anais Nin, this made me think about her necrophilia story.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

Dirty talk during sex:

Besides providing some assurance that your partner isn't picking out a new paint color for the ceiling, flavorful dialogue during sex can be informative, inspiring, and reaffirming.

Even better if it isn't just a recorded session involving other people.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Writing fictional erotic scenes allows us as authors to show why certain sexual acts or kinks appeal to our characters. The purpose of this thread is to allow us to explain why any particular act appeals to us in real life.

I’ve mostly written kinks that relate to IRL experiences, rather than fantasies. The motivation is obviously reliving the events.

The exception is exhibitionism (I say that rather than voyeurism as - in my stories - the reciprocal voyeur always has the permission of the other party) which is not an IRL kink. I wrote it as a challenge and as @Djmac1031 had written about its extensively.

I guess I’m interested in the dynamics of vicarious sex, and the mindset of those involved. I used E/V as a proxy for other things in one story on the subject - it became an analog of the early stages of dating, and also a sort of vetting process for a traumatized FMC.

 

[Nynah]

Facials/Body Painting:

The appeal to me has changed somewhat over the years.

As a teen, the appeal was lessening the chance of getting some girl pregnant.

My very neurospicy brain first read this and thought "how does using body paint during sexytimes reduce the risk of pregnancy" and then after a few moments it clicked.

On-topic: Starting out with the caveat that I'm aware that my own personal kink of exhibitionism/voyeurism is very much a product of the fairly prudish American society I grew up in and I know that there isn't quite as much of a stigma for exposed human flesh in other societies around the world.

One of my favorite things to do is just sit on a bench or at a table and just people watch. I think this just comes with growing up in New York City and watching all the hustle and bustle. Most of the time it's just fun to see the different types of people pass by. But when you do it often enough, sometimes you'll see something that you're probably not meant to see... like why is that woman clearly not wearing a bra? Why is that guy definitely going commando? Oh, someone bent over, h-elllooooooo. Then you wonder why they made that choice and the circumstances leading up to that choice and sometimes that can be exciting.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

One of my favorite things to do is just sit on a bench or at a table and just people watch. I think this just comes with growing up in New York City and watching all the hustle and bustle. Most of the time it's just fun to see the different types of people pass by. But when you do it often enough, sometimes you'll see something that you're probably not meant to see... like why is that woman clearly not wearing a bra? Why is that guy definitely going commando? Oh, someone bent over, h-elllooooooo. Then you wonder why they made that choice and the circumstances leading up to that choice and sometimes that can be exciting.

80s and 90s, I used to do that a lot. These days that'll get you looked at kind of funny and visited by security.

 

[Jorunn]

One that I like is when two people are pressed together, their bodies touching, inhaling each other’s scent, noticing the other becoming sexually stimulated, yet seemingly unable to act. Conversation (not required) fills with innuendo. Done often in an I/T car ride with mom or sister riding atop a guy, or pressed together in a bus or subway, I spin other scenarios through my mind.

 

[SimonDoom]

I ask this question all the time, and find it difficult to get to the bottom of it. It takes a lot of self awareness to understand why we enjoy the kinks we do.

Like iwatchus, I have a strong voyeuristic streak, and I enjoy the flip side of it as well, which is female exhibitionism. Women wearing sexier than normal clothing, or being naked or exposed in places they "shouldn't" be, or being hypersexual.

I enjoy stories with a strong taboo, trangressive element.

I suppose part of it is that for most of my life I have NOT been this way. In my mind I'm a pervert, but in my day to day conduct I'm fairly vanilla. My experience is the opposite of Emily MIller's -- my stories are 90%+ fantasy, not experience.

 

[AG31]

especially since me knee won't currently let me cook.

You cook with your knee??

 

[AG31]

I ask this question all the time, and find it difficult to get to the bottom of it. It takes a lot of self awareness to understand why we enjoy the kinks we do.

Like iwatchus, I have a strong voyeuristic streak, and I enjoy the flip side of it as well, which is female exhibitionism. Women wearing sexier than normal clothing, or being naked or exposed in places they "shouldn't" be, or being hypersexual.

I enjoy stories with a strong taboo, trangressive element.

I suppose part of it is that for most of my life I have NOT been this way. In my mind I'm a pervert, but in my day to day conduct I'm fairly vanilla. My experience is the opposite of Emily MIller's -- my stories are 90%+ fantasy, not experience.

How come you haven't gotten your avatar back yet? I think almost everyone else has. Have you been bad?

 

[iwatchus]

You cook with your knee??

My own variant of a foot fetish?

Seriously I can’t stand Ling enough to cook. And I refuse to cook sitting down. Waiting for a replacement

 

[SimonDoom]

How come you haven't gotten your avatar back yet? I think almost everyone else has. Have you been bad?

Even worse. Lazy.

 

[AG31]

Writing fictional erotic scenes allows us as authors to show why certain sexual acts or kinks appeal to our characters. The purpose of this thread is to allow us to explain why any particular act appeals to us in real life.

My thing is where a strong man surrenders with dignity. That has two parts.
The first is surrendering with dignity. I figured out, courtesy of lots of AH conversations, that that piece of it is present in my predilection for totally non-sexual stories. Nathan Hale, the death of Robin Hood, Lloyd C. Douglas's stories of early Christianity, Joan of Arc (female, true, but until a few years ago I focussed on females), the deaths of various knights of the Round Table legend. What they surrendered too was fairly irrelevant.

The other piece was when the surrender was sexual. Almost all of my fantasies have involved sexual surrender (but not submission.... have yet to identify the distinction).

The first has lots to do with real life, in that I am very much taken with instances of heroism, albeit failed. I'm very moved.

The second couldn't have less to do with real life. I have no desire whatsoever to get involved in the BDSM scene. Since my fantasies are now all from the male POV, it would be quite a feat anyay, since I'm female. But even back in the day when I fantasized from the female POV, the idea of a real life enactment just made me think I'd feel silly.

Thanks for the question. I'll keep noodling on it, I expect.

 

[Erozetta]

Some of mine:

kitten play - I like costumes, collars, and being petted. I particularly like the suede cat ears I made myself. And I like to purr.

Spanking - I am capable of being an absolute brat in order to push people into disciplining me the way I like.

Bondage - It's calming. Takes a lot of my stress away and lets me focus on breathing. While restrained is the only time my brain actually quiets and lets me meditate.

knife/needle play - like bondage, it's calming. I've always had a hang up about feeling like I need to be renewed at times and this is symbolic of that. I've only ever had one person go too far with it and cut contact with him immediately after. I prefer the back of the blade against skin. It's thrilling, minimizes the danger, and results in better control of when cuts are made.

submission - again, it's calming. My day job requires a lot of me regarding decision making and being in control. I hate it. When I get home, I just want to exist in making someone else happy.

Scratching and biting - About the only act of dominance I display and I still do it in a submissive/playful way. I just like it sometimes. It goes along with kitten play most often.

begging - I like the reaction it gets. Particularly from my husband. It's submissive yet subtly controlling.

breath play - It just stokes something in me. Fulfills the need for an adrenaline rush, much like knife play. It's not calming, though, more excitement through fear and it helps me build and confirm my trust in someone.

corsets - I'm pretty sure this goes along with both bondage and breath play. They *feel* good and the compression is calming. There's also an element of being able to control your breathing more consciously.

Dirty talk - I don't talk a lot. When I do, I make it count and the reaction is always exquisitely arousing.

face fucking - I don't know, I just like it.

masochism - I have really high pain tolerance and the adrenaline that goes along with pain play is the closest I get to getting high. I was trained to enjoy and feel affection from pain.

shibari - like bondage, but much prettier, just as calming.

Dollification - I like pretty dresses and being posed.

Oh, and forced silence is one I enjoy too. The kind where you're around other people (next room, next bed, family around, etc etc) and you can't make any noise. It's torture. It's exhausting. And it's incredibly thrilling.



and then there's tickling. Which I like *and* hate. I like to laugh, it feels good because the other person laughs and smiles, too, and they clearly enjoy it, but odds of getting kicked really fucking hard by me are significant.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I ask this question all the time, and find it difficult to get to the bottom of it. It takes a lot of self awareness to understand why we enjoy the kinks we do.

Like iwatchus, I have a strong voyeuristic streak, and I enjoy the flip side of it as well, which is female exhibitionism. Women wearing sexier than normal clothing,

Again, you have to be more careful now than in the past.

Once upon a time you could people watch all day in a mall and even openly take pictures of passersby. With all of the upskirting and other issues created by bad people, it's much less accepted now and you may be asked to leave.

 

[SimonDoom]

Again, you have to be more careful now than in the past.

Once upon a time you could people watch all day in a mall and even openly take pictures of passersby. With all of the upskirting and other issues created by bad people, it's much less accepted now and you may be asked to leave.

I don't do anything like that. This is a matter of fantasy. I like to watch pretty women walking on the street or at the beach, but not that way.

 

[TheLobster]

I know, shocking given my pen name, right?

I always read it as "iWatch US", a US-only version of an Apple's wrist-worn device

 

[AwkwardlySet]

The same as Simon, I have a kinky mind but I am totally vanilla in real life. The reason for that mostly stems from the fear of my kinks coming out in the open in the fairly prudish society I live in (we all live in?). To paraphrase my favorite bit of Dostoevsky's "Demons", I might be able to take their disapproval and resentment, but would I be able to take their mockery?

Anyway, before I came here, I thought I was insanely kinky and perverted for liking subtle, seductive female domination, having a foot fetish, etc. If nothing else, being here cured me of that notion.

There are plenty of hardcore perverts here, and I fucking like that it is so. There's nothing I find more tiresome than false morality and the facade of prudishness that most people put on, even when they are in a more private setting.
Free your minds, people!