What's Love Got To Do With It?

[Blushing Bottom]

Is it possible to seperate love from D/s when you have given yourself to someone...fully?

d

 

[the captians wench]

Is it possible to seperate love from D/s when you have given yourself to someone...fully?

d

I think so, but then that depends on your deffinition of fully.

It's no secret that Jounar allows me playmates. When I am with said playmate, I am theirs to do with as they please with only my Master's restrictions in place. If Jounar says I'm not allowd to cum, even if that playmate gives the order, I'm not allowd, and one of my requirements in a playmate is that they won't give orders that go against a command of my Master. That's a quick way to forfit the relationship.

I submit as much to that playmate as I do to Jounar, but I don't love them like I do him. Sure I care about them, each one is a close friend and some one I rely on, but as for romantic love, no one has that but Jounar.

So if you can count that I have the restrictions that Jounar gives as giving myself fully then I'll stick with my answer. If not then I don't have enough experience to answer the question.

 

[subtleone]

In my humble opinion; love, trust and respect have to be there before it is possible to give yourself fully. I'm sure there will be differing opinions. Of course I entered my 'Ds' dynamic from a 'love' one so I may be biased.

 

[FurryFury]

Clearly it is possible for some but not for others.

*shrugs*

Fury

 

[BiBunny]

I have play partners I can "give" myself to on a negotiated scene-by-scene basis. On the flip side, I have play partners who can "give" themselves to me in the same manner. However, B. is the only person I've ever been able to submit fully to, and the reason I can do this is because I love him. It was only *after* I fell in love with him that I was able to submit completely to him. Conversely, if I ever decide to have a submissive of my very own, it will be because I love him/her very much.

 

[graceanne]

I think it's right up there with some people can have fuck buddies and some people can't. Some people can submit to another and not love them, other can't. I couldn't do either.

 

[the_pet]

Clearly it is possible for some but not for others.

*shrugs*

Fury

I agree completely.

 

[Bandit58]

I don't see why it should have to be separate at all

Master Gil and I love each other very much. The D/s has enhanced our life together. Sure we laugh and joke and have fun together, but He's always my Master and I'm always His sub.

If you're talking about play like flogging etc - He knows I enjoy what He does to me, and I love to please Him. The love we share doesn't stop Him from doing whatever He wants to me....we've been a D/s couple for over 3 years now and He has learned to read me and my reactions. The safe words are still there if needed however.

 

[SnowWhiteQueen]

I think its possible... but not easy. I tend to develop feelings for those who give me pleasure. I grow to care for them and can get jealous sometimes. Its different for everyone.

 

[Netzach]

Romantic love, of the lets' make love stare into one anothers eyes and I want to have babies someday variety?

Completely not needed.

Love - well, I find that I go there.

 

[Velvet Bubbles]

From what I've learned/experienced I believe it is possible to give yourself fully to someone that you don't love. But you do have to be able to trust them completely. I would prefer to be in love with whomever I was with. It's just not always possible.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

for me....i could not give myself FULLY to anyone i did not love. i could 'bottom' to them, but giving myself over fully would take alot of trust and i'm just not one of those people who can have an occasional 'fuck buddy' and not get some feelings involved. *shrugs* i've only submitted to one person so maybe i just don't have enough experience in this lifestyle to answer this question correctly. but knowing my feelings and such, i truly dont' think i could give myself 'completely' to someone i didn't love.....

 

[liberatedslave]

I think that trust comes down to knowledge of the other person and you need trust in order to submit. I know a guy who regularly sees a pro-Domme for maybe 2 hours every couple of weeks. He says that he submits fully to her but at the same time he's happily married (happier than ever according to him and yes, his wife knows about the Domme) and claims to have no romantic feelings for the Domme. In his own words, the submission he gives the Domme is a totally different emotion for the love he has for his wife, they're so different as to have almost no bearing on each other. Clearly it's working for him.

On a personal level I could never submit to a Dom that I wasn't in love with. Like subtleone, I've never had the one without the other - which is probably why I don't think it would be enough for me and wouldn't feel like total submission. My friend has never had a full on relationship with a Domme so he doesn't find his current setup inadequate.

So I think it comes down to perspectives. It's as much about what you've had in the past as it is about what you want and what you need.