What would you do?

[Slut_boy]

Hi, this is the first time that I have ever sought advice for a personal dilema online. But I know that if there was a place to get some great ideas, then it would be here.

Here's the problem: I have been offered a job abroad, one that I would pretty much like to accept. I would have to start in January next year and I could go on a two or even a four year contract. I would be going to a place that I want to be at, and all seems perfect except for one problem. The love of my life "Walter" wouldn't be able to come. He is a beautiful big grey cat that I love to bits and the quarantine is strenuous (four months). That would destroy his beautiful soul, he would never understand the isolation. There are people that he knows who I am confident will love and look after him. But I am not sure that he will understand me leaving him. As it is, I do travel from time to time - and I know that while I am away he misses me. I couldn't be happy knowing that a beautiful little boy like him would be waiting for me.

Here's the question: I know that dogs long for their owners and sometimes can't live without them. But I have been told that cats are far more independent and are less inclined to pine. Is that really true, or is that a story relied upon by abandoning adults to justify their leaving - purely for convenience and to still their own consciences. Does anybody know about the psychology of cats, or have any of you had to do this before. He means enough to me to decline the job if there is a chance that he won't be okay without me.

Another question: Does anyone have details of quarantine facilities and how the animals are kept. I am still trying to find out, but you guys are a wonderful source of information - so I thought that I would try you first.

Thanks to those of you that have waded through this post. I appreciate your time. Please be gentle, my heart is sore at the possibility of being without him.

 

[Slut_boy]

There is one other question: Are there other ways of doing it perhaps? For Christ's sake, if they can get bombs and drugs into countries, then can it really be that hard to smuggle the little fella in? If you know anything, pray tell, I am torn apart here.

 

[morgainefairy]

It would be very stressful on your baby, and he may not forgive you. My dearest cat took over a year to forgive me for having my son. And they all act out in different ways. Assuming you know your cat well, you would notice a change. However there are options. Maybe you have a good friend with a similar lifestyle who would take a part in helping you out.

 

[Bonnie Wee Lassie]

Can you give him sedatives and put him in your suitcase. There must be some way to do it. Don't let him go in one of those things for 4 months I heard sometimes they don't come out.

 

[April]

You poor things! Slut_Boy, I really feel for your situation, and your darling Walter. (sidenote:serious sense of deja vu here. freaky) Anyway, I've gone through separations with my own two darlings, and had to put them in a kennel once for about a month. It changed their personalities, although for the better. They really missed us, and were very glad when we picked them up.

You don't say how old your kitty is. I think that has a lot to do with whether or not he would be happy in a new home. My "kids" are 11, and one has heart disease, so if I were in your situation, I would turn down the job. But that's just me. I wish I could help you more, but it's a really tough situation you're in.

Also, what country are we talking about?

 

[KillerMuffin]

Having been in the military or married to it for entirely too long, I fully understand yours and Walter's dilemmas. You did, however, neglect to mention a few salient point. Overseas can be anywhere to those of use not personally acquainted with you. The quarantine facilites in England are substandard and are known to kill cats, particularly if you aren't extremely rich. Hawaii is horribly expensive. We were looking at approximately 10,000 american to quarantine a cat and a dog. The average length of stay is 6 weeks. In some cases the stay can be shortened by vet visits and updating shots through the country/state's regulations.

Most quarantine facilities will allow you to visit, some require that you do, on a daily basis. Cats seem to get along all right after the first week or so. If this job is going to run for great lengths of time and you'll be rather stationary for those periods of time, by all means, travel with your cat. He will enjoy it as well.

The department of tourism for where ever we were going is the first place I have always contacted to find out about quarantine rules. They were always able to give me the names and numbers of whomever I actually had to deal with. In several cases, I was able to speak with the quarantine facility itself.

Good luck to you and Walter.

 

[Silverlily]

It all depends on where you are going. When I was stationed in England I could only bring my cat if I agreed to quarantine him. From what I was told, it could last six months. Also some animals simply do not travel well, I suggest talking to your vet.

I shared my life with cats for as long as I can remember. I don't believe they forget, I left my cat with my parents while I was away in the service for four years. When I came home, Tigger still remembered me (and loved me). I have also adopted older cats and have developed very strong bonds with them.

Well loved cats are well adjusted cats. I'm sure Walter is aware of your love for him and even though this may sound silly, talk to him. Tell him what is going on, and why. I really believe he'll understand and make you feel better, too.
=^..^=

 

[CreamyLady]

Cats are odd animals. JP is very fond of my daughter; when she is away, he looks for her in her usual spots.

When she spent three months in Florence, however, he stopped looking for her after a week or two and accepted me as the alpha female. It was my lap he went too; I was the one he cuddled at night.

On her return, he moved right back to thinking SHE is the alpha female. I resumed my role as The Food.

If you really would miss Walter that much, and he would miss you, this just might not be the time for that job.

 

[Slut_boy]

He is 11 years old already, April, and the country is New Zealand. Thanks Bonnie and Morgaine.

 

[Slut_boy]

Wow, I am overwhelmed. What an incredible response. I need to go home now (it's about 20h30). But I 'll certainly read, and probably re-read all of your posts when I get back to work tomorrow morning. Thank you all so much: KillerMuffin, Kitten (how ironic) and CreamyLady (still love that name, babe). Good night, and sleep tight.

 

[Silverlily]

Oh, more ironic than you know. Sleep tight.

 

[April]

Depends on the facility. If you can find an acceptable quarantine facility, maybe you should take the job. Just make sure to visit him every day or as often as allowed. Hopefully there would be an area set aside for you to play with him. That would help a lot. Also, investigate different ways to decrease quarantine time. I think U.K. regs. have changed recently, so that pets brought in from Europe with a chip implanted under their skin don't have to go through quarantine. Maybe New Zealand has something similar. A lot of variables, I know, but it's worth it if you can take Walter with you.

 

[lethal_heartbreaker]

My question to you is, why can you not bring the cat ?
And as for leaving your cat with a trusted friend or family member. Trust me your cat will be fine.
Cats are able to bond quite nicely to others. If you are worried than be there for a couple of days while the cats gets use to his/her new home.
I hope everything works out for you. And if all else fails give up the job offer stay where you are now and be with your cat.

 

[ShyGuy68]

Slut_boy

I to am a cat owner, and my cat is living a very special life.

In the summer Samson stays with me in my apartment on the 5th floor in the city I live it. Then sometime in the spring I usually take him to my mom's place, so he can get a bit in shape again, and run around and enjoy the summer. Then sometime after summer I get him home again.

I can notice that he doesn't mind me leaving him there for such a long time at all. And when he comes home again, he seeks my lap when I sit in the couch and watch TV, and often come up to me in the morning when I wake up to get petted some.

I can understand your dilemma, because 4 months in quarantine sure is a long time. But he might be able to adapt to live with other people while you are gone.

 

[Cheri]

This thread made me think of an article in the newest Lands End catalog called Life Without Norton. In it Peter Gethers talk about how he has spent the last year since his cat died. I get the same vibe from both of you on how you feel about your cats. Too bad you can't talk to him since he traveled extensively with Norton. Perhaps people on a specific news group such as alt.pets.cats could offer better advice on what is needed to get a cat through quarantine.

 

[Jade]

Slut Boy...

You know, at first I thought this was a come back for the whole idea of "What would Jesus Do?" thing but... man.. a "real" question....


I am glad you don't want my opinion as to what you should do but to answer some of your questions...
(Btw: when you first said "Walter," I thought you were gay and I nearly passed out from the shock! lol)

Anyway,
My baby (see amateur pics section for his adorable pic!) has MAJOR attatchment issues whenever we are gone.. but then again, so do I.

Apparently, whenever we leave and someone else has to come feed him and stuff, he cries and cries the WHOLE damn time and if we are gone for several weeks... he starts taking vegeance upon us for deserting him but crapping in strange places, destroying furniture, and tries to kill our other animals.... so yes, I would say he is pretty attatched and really likes the idea of seeking revenge.. either that.. or not having us around just drives him totally crazy altogether.

I don't know too much about the quarantine thing, but after he got spayed... he wouldn't talk to me for a few days after picking him up.. he was very bitter... to say the least.

Anyway Slut Boy.. hugs to you and your little love.. and the best of luck with your decision.

 

[Firesprite]

I can help

I would be honoured to help you out here.. being in New Zealand myself I am willing to make a few calls for you to find out about the details at this end.

Only one thing before I call around.. what country are you in now?

 

[Wizard]

Slut_boy, I just don't know what to say. We currently do not have any pets.......But I really feel for you.........Been meaning to tell ya nice to see ya around again.......

 

[Sonora]

SB, I'm afraid that I would have to stay with my little 'Sweet Butt'. A few years ago I (briefly) thought of moving someplace that my vet told me had a 6 month quarantine. NFW I was going to be 6,000 miles from home without my little guy. I may have considered it if I could have quarantined him here and then got him there somehow without breaking the purpose of the quarantine.

 

[Slut_boy]

Thank you

Thanks to all of you, again. Firesprite, I have been in e-mail contact with a couple who run a quarantine facility in Christchurch (the job would have me posted at Canterbury University) and they have been pretty helpful. But they seem to think that quarantine is okay - they would though, that's how they earn their living, and so they are hardly going to discourage me. Where are you Firesprite? I'll probably actually pop down to Christchurch (maybe next month) to check everything out, including the quarantine.

My main concern would be Walter's mental health if he didn't come. Could he get used to another home and another's love? If he was adored then would he even miss us (I would like to think that he would, but some say that cats don't react the way that dogs do). I can't believe that. Jade, when I go away then my girlfriend looks after him, but whenever I get home then he sulks for the first half hour or so. It is so cute. That shows me the depth of his awareness and emotion. When we came into each other's lives then I knew what the responsibility was and I am not about to walk away from that now. I love him with all my heart.

Thanks again. I'll let you know what happens once I know more about the quarantine stuff. PS: Does anyone know how to get a cat into a country undetected? It is a thought *blushes at the idea of asking someone to be an accomplice in aiding and abetting me in the plotting of a crime*

 

[Guest]

I have had cats most of my life and have both moved cats and left cats where they felt was home. Since your cat has already stayed with your friends it might not be too hard for him to adjust to living there. I would vote to move and take the job make some contacts there and then try and get Walter moved too. You may have to consider what it would take to get Walter back into SA if and when the job in NZ ends. It would be really bad to move him and not be able to get him back home if the job played out.

I have moved cats and had them run off wanting to go back home. I have left some of my cats (outdoor kind) where they felt was home as long as I knew that someone was going to take over their care. In fact I am just getting reaquainted with a cat I left here a year ago I just hope the next folks who take this job will be willing to take care of him. I don't think he (unfixed male) would fit in with all my cats back at the farm.

Slutboy I do hope that you can find a way to move Walter as I know that you will miss him. *Sigh* there are still some of my old friends (pets) that I think of from time to time most passed on but one cat "Stash" I had to leave in an apartment complex. Everyone there loved him and it was his kingdom but I really missed him when I moved. I checked up on him several times and he did fine so I gess it was the right thing to do.

Best of luck on whatever you do and I agree with Jade, thank god Walter was a cat.

Fallen Angel

 

[Slut_boy]

Why "Ghost Writer"?

Hi Fallen Angel. I have missed you, my old friend. Where have you been, and why are you writing under this unregistered pseudonyn *laughs* ??? Thanks also for your words of wisdom, and for sharing your experiences. I look forward to seeing more of you.

 

[Guest]

Hey Slutboy I got a call from an old employer because the man who had replaced me left and they needed someone to fill in till they can hire a new person. It requires that I live on site and due to the job and organization I can't afford for there to be any porn traces left on the computer. The porn I can live without for a spell but I just have to check in with the BB every once in awhile. It is just easier to clear history and location than to track down the cookies I would leave if I signed on with my screen name. I should be home in a week or so and back on my own computer. Till then I'm just Ghost writer aka Fallen Angel.

You would like my job here as it is usually just me and a bunch of mostly young women in an outdoor setting. One of my chores is to make sure the young men stay away unless they are here to pick someone up (with proper permission of course). Well I can see by the clock on the wall that I better go before someone shows at the office.

 

[Slut_boy]

Thanks for the chat Fallen. Yup, your job sounds pretty cool and you are right - I would enjoy it if it involves lots of young girls *laughs* . Er .... is it rewarding? *wink*

 

[Silverlily]

Ok, up to this point, we've looked at the situation from the standpoint of Walter's well-being. What about yours?

Let's say you go and leave Walter with friends. Even if he is happy, will you be? You may find yourself resenting the job.

I'm sorry to sound so negative, but it is something to consider.