What Would You Do?

[ARaynes]

Ok, here is the situation.

I am married to a wonderful man. He is great, loving and caring and we have a good relationship. We live in a three bedroom house. The third bedroom is just a spare.

So, there is this guy, who may or may not be moving to our town. He is my husband's best friend and my best friend's brother. He has asked that if he has to move into our town that we rent out our spare room. That would help us with our financials a lot. I am all for it.

Thing is, this guy and I have made out together. We like each other intimately and would not mind going further. My husband knows this. So I am not sure if he would say yes or not to this guy moving in with us. I really would like him too, because of my feelings if you want to call it that, but I don't want it to cause problems in any area.

SO, what would you do? Would you let the guy move in? Or would you try to find him othe arrangements even though the money is good?

And for the husbands, would you let another man in your wife's life like that even though you don't think that they would do anything for sure?

 

[Bluesboy2]

I would (as the husband)

Talk to you about it. I would see how you felt and trusted what you said. If there is no trust then there is no point in being married. Does that help?

 

[Linedrive]

I'd fill your spare room with a marijuana garden, then you don't have the threat of another guy living there, plus you don't have to worry about the finances.

 

[ARaynes]

Blues, we were talking about the guy in the situation yesterday!
He just emailed me today telling me about his problem and his solution....

I should know more by Christmas. If my husband asks, he will get the truth, I do have feelings for D. But I would never betray my husband for him. I can't stop the way I feel though.

 

[ARaynes]

I'd fill your spare room with a marijuana garden, then you don't have the threat of another guy living there, plus you don't have to worry about the finances.

No, then I would just have to worry about the cops knocking on my door! LOL.

 

[Linedrive]

No, then I would just have to worry about the cops knocking on my door! LOL.

I know, that was a joke. It probably still just landed me on the DEA watch list.

 

[LacyLady]

I understand what you are saying......and that you love your husband.....and would never jeopardize your marriage.....but you do have feelings for this other guy......what would happen if he does move in......you and your husband have a arguement.....or alcohol comes into the picture....and one thing just leads to another?.....I'm really not sure what i would do......that's a hard decission to make....and i'm not you or in your situation....but follow your instincts....Only you know you.....and your self-control.....

 

[sunstruck]

Ok, if you aren't planning on sleeping with this man I wouldn't have him move in. Why would you want to live with that temptation? You're much more likely to do something you'll hate yourself for.

 

[Bluesboy2]

What she said

Ok, if you aren't planning on sleeping with this man I wouldn't have him move in. Why would you want to live with that temptation? You're much more likely to do something you'll hate yourself for.

I am assuming that no amount of financial gain is worth risking your marraige over.

 

[sunstruck]

Re: What she said

I am assuming that no amount of financial gain is worth risking your marraige over.

Ummm Duh? If a few hundred dollars a month is worth more to you than your marriage, your marriage is pointless.

(That comment was NOT directed at the starter of this thread but just as a comment in general on bluesboys statement)

 

[ARaynes]

I understand Sunstruck.

My husband says he is okay with it. He trusts me. I trust myself....

 

[lilpriss]

If you need money, put an ad in the local paper and rent it to someone else. Check references and do a credit check, demand a deposit and the first and last month's rent. Steps like this will weed out freaks.

I would NOT rent to a man that my husband knew I had feelings for. (Jerry Springer here youcome) Unless you want to sleep with him... and that's a choice only you can make.

And if he does move in... worst case scenario... your hubby isn't home for whatever reason, y'all get drunk, one thing leads to the next. You wake up in the spare bedroom the next morning, your pissed off hubby standing over the bed with a shotgun, and you're splatterd with the dude's innards and blood. Ok, not really, but that's what headline news stories are made of.

Just a thought... I wouldn't risk it.

 

[Bluesboy2]

Re: Re: What she said

Ummm Duh? If a few hundred dollars a month is worth more to you than your marriage, your marriage is pointless.

(That comment was NOT directed at the starter of this thread but just as a comment in general on bluesboys statement)

That statement was meant to be facietious (sp). Understatement doesnt always translate well when typed.

 

[ARaynes]

If you need money, put an ad in the local paper and rent it to someone else. Check references and do a credit check, demand a deposit and the first and last month's rent. Steps like this will weed out freaks.

I would NOT rent to a man that my husband knew I had feelings for. (Jerry Springer here youcome) Unless you want to sleep with him... and that's a choice only you can make.

And if he does move in... worst case scenario... your hubby isn't home for whatever reason, y'all get drunk, one thing leads to the next. You wake up in the spare bedroom the next morning, your pissed off hubby standing over the bed with a shotgun, and you're splatterd with the dude's innards and blood. Ok, not really, but that's what headline news stories are made of.

Just a thought... I wouldn't risk it.

SOrry, but that was just imaginative, just like I would do! LOL

 

[Lancecastor]

would you let another man in your wife's life like that even though you don't think that they would do anything for sure?

Fuck that noise.

I'd likely have you pack a bag just for suggesting it.

Lance

 

[horny_giraffe]

It wouldn't bother me too much if I was the husband. A husband has to trust his wife under all sorts of circumstances. It strikes me as rather hopeless if one has to follow their partner around all day to make sure that they won't fall into bed with someone else. If my wife is such a sleaze that she'd sleep with my best friend, I don't want her anyway.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I trust myself....

if you trust yourself then you wouldnt be having doubts about this...

 

[Guest]

Don't do it.

You have little to gain and a lot to lose. Even if nothing happened, it could definately put a strain on both of you by him just being there.

 

[The Heretic]

SO, what would you do? Would you let the guy move in? Or would you try to find him othe arrangements even though the money is good?

And for the husbands, would you let another man in your wife's life like that even though you don't think that they would do anything for sure?

A lot depends on your relationship with your husband. How much do you value it? How secure is the relationship? How does or how would your husband feel about such an arrangement? Have you two done any mate swapping before? Swinging?

I would dare say more marriages are broken up by such arrangements than are enhanced by them - but if you are sure (which I don't think you are or you wouldn't be asking here) that this would enhance your marriage and not just your sex life, then discuss it with your husband.

As I said, a lot depends on how he feels about it, not me, not anybody else but you and him. He may be able to handle it. He may really want this. Or he may not be very sure about it, or totally against it. How secure he feels in his relationship with you has a lot to do with that.

My advice; talk to your husband and find out his feelings on the subject. If you aren't comfortable with discussing it with him, then I would dare say you probably aren't ready for having a possible second sexual partner move into your spare bedroom. If he isn't comfortable with it then ditto.

That is, unless you value the temporary pleasure you would get from the sex/intimacy with this other person over the sex/intimacy/love/relationship you now have with your husband.

Reminder: I am not making any moral judgements here, just trying to make clear what the priorities are and what the consequences may be.

Would I as a husband want such an arrangement? I can't say - it would depend on the woman I was married to, how secure we were in our relationship, and our relationship with the third party.

 

[penguindance]

 

[zipman]

At first read it sounds like a recipe for disaster, regardless of how much you trust each other.

You feel an attraction, therefore, it is a mistake. If money is the issue find another boarder to live there.

 

[RawHumor]

The fact that your husband trusts you, doesn't mean that he wants it to happen. He may be interested to see if you'd put yourself in that type of position.