What Would You Do To Revive Michael Jackson's Career?

[Marxist]

Pretend you're an agent with the multi-multi-million dollar account that is Michael Jackson.

The first thing I'd do is get him on all the talk shows that like to make fun of him--Leno, Letterman, Conan, etc... Funny how they shut the fuck up when someone that might show up and boost their ratings just so happens to drop in.

The second thing, sell Neverland and build a bunch of homes in inner-cities around America. Either that or just buy all of Gary, Indiana.

The third thing, quit trying to pinch off all the new musical styles and get back to the basics of "Off The Wall" (quite possibly the greatest thing Disco produced). Maybe even do an acoustic album with just Jacko playing guitar and piano.

The fourth thing, distance yourself from the freak show that is Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli, etc....it gives him no cache. Those are the stars of yester-yester-yester year. George Clooney hangs with Marky Mark and Don Cheadle and Brad Pitt for a reason: They're cool. Jacko should become best pals with Jermain Dupri, Outkast, and P. Diddy and Chuck D.

And as far as that child molesting shit goes, he either did it or he didn't but if he didn't he ought to get Webster and Mr. Culkin to speak up on his behalf.

 

[JazzManJim]

Get him back in the studio with Quincy Jones. "Thriller" was one of the best albums I've ever heard, and will go down in history as one of the greatest collaborative writing efforts ever done.

Draw attention away from how weird he is and back onto what a superlative musician and instinctively skilled dancer he is. There hasn't really been a combination of singer/dancer since maybe Gene Kelly (who said much the same about The Gloved One himself).

Tour. Relentlessly. It doesn't have to be big-budget. It does have to be the kind of impeccable showmanship that he's shown for years. Get out there and tour and tour and tour.

 

[Marxist]

You are oh so correct Jim. Touring would change everything. He might even consider a permanent tour like the Dead or Widespread Panic or Phish. No ads, no tour sponsor, just a million people showing up wherever he and whatever other bands he wants to tour with appear.

 

[sigh]

hire a pharmaceutical firm to develop a drug that'd make him violently ill if he even thinks of visiting a plastic surgeon again

sort of like an antabuse for surgeholics

 

[Weevil]

Essentially, what I'd do first try to get jacko to distance himself from the whole freakshow thing. No more Llamas. No more bizarre stage shows. No more creppy kid things

Second, remind the public that Jacko used to make really good, dance friendly tracks. I'd use a two pronged approach. A tour where he's not trying to flog new stuff would be first. A simple, basic tour with a good backing band, ripping out all the classics.

Add this to a greatest hits album. Re-mixes or originals. Get people in the clubs dancing to his tunes again.

 

[bored1]

Is it just possible that his career is to far gone to be revived? In todays world of pop music, if your not selling cds you are gone. The popularity of all artists comes and goes, Especially as your fans age and move onto other things. Then newer artists come in and take your place. They may not be as talented, but, they are playing to a new group of people who arent interested in what someone did 20 years ago. Jackson will always have his fans from his heydey just as Sinatra did and as the Beatles did. In the words of George Harrison.. All Things Must Pass

 

[Zamdrist]

I'd shoot him in the head. He'd be much popular dead.

 

[clit_licker30]

I'd shoot him in the head. He'd be much popular dead.

Being room temperatue helped Elvis's career. But we could do without "The Gloved One"

 

[Rubyfruit]

These are all great ideas, but you really need to reconstruct his face. No matter what he does, he still looks creepy.

 

[Zamdrist]

I admit to liking a lot of his music. Talent is talent is talent. But why does he have to be so damn freakish?

It seems to most talented are, freakish and odd. Like me, I'm wacko.

 

[christo]

See a really, really good psychologist. Actually, he'd need a crack team of, say, 10 to 15 really top people working on him for at least 8 hours a day, each attempting to restructure a part of his psyche. 'Cause there are problems here. These are some of the issues that need to be addressed:

-- Maybe you did or didn't fool around with little kids. Maybe you are or aren't into that. This needs to be looked into, because pedophilia isn't like smoking pot or fooling around on your wife. It's very, very bad. And if you don't fancy little kids, then maybe you should stop making fascistic videos where little kids stare up at a huge statue of you screaming "I love you Michael!". It creeps everyone out, really.

-- This whole "King of Pop" thing. Demanding that all media references to you include calling you the "KOP" has gotta go. You aren't the biggest pop star in the world anymore. Even if you were, calling yourself the king does not, in fact, make you a king. Thinking that you are some kind of royalty is a bit, well, nuts.

-- How about making a good album? Some good music? That's your job, ain't it? No more of these songs telling people to leave you alone and how they don't understand what it's like to be you. No one cares. How about a song with a nice beat and some soul that gets your caboose loose?

-- You aren't Peter Pan. Grow up. Ditch "Neverland". No more Ferris Wheels.

That should do it for the first ten years. MacCauley Culkin will be decade number two.

 

[Lasz]

He just needs to TOur his ass off and get himself into the press more often. We dont see him that much so we have all thoese bad images of him nowadays. If he created a new image and showed us who he is NOW. He would do great!!!

 

[WriterDom]

Make him a priest. He'd fit right in.