What would you change?
- Thread starter Pdxmwm
- Start date
I wish I wouldnt have been verbally and emotionally abused as a child/teenager. It has really effected who I am. I wouldnt have attempted suicide so many times and I would take away my depression. I would maybe have mingled a bit before I settled down at age 15 with my now hubby. And I would have kicked my biological father in the balls for getting my mom preggers at 16 and leaving her and not wanting a damn thing to do with me even after all these years, I still send him pictures of the granddaughters he will never know. 
Ok...that is way depressing...ummm... I would also change the fact that I got fat!!!!!!!! blech!!
Ok...that is way depressing...ummm... I would also change the fact that I got fat!!!!!!!! blech!!
HarveyWallbangr
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...
Nothing. Sure, there are regrets....and there are things I could've done better, or differently....but that's what makes life worth living...the learning experience....at least in my case.
....although there have been a couple nights where I REALLY wish I would've drank less....<shudders>
Nothing. Sure, there are regrets....and there are things I could've done better, or differently....but that's what makes life worth living...the learning experience....at least in my case.
....although there have been a couple nights where I REALLY wish I would've drank less....<shudders>
*~sekzee1~*
Wantonly Waiting For Him
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ok..i (fantzy) would change my ex but then again i un into the dilema previously mentioned..i owuld not have my gorgeous kids..but then again i would not have been abused physically & emotionally for 10 years & i would not have met this fantastic man i am with now (jutty)
I have come to believe that everything that happened to me at the hands of my ex happened for a reason....as a result i am a much stronger person & i have been able to explore who I am & ultimately that is the most important journey we can make in life..to find oneself
I have come to believe that everything that happened to me at the hands of my ex happened for a reason....as a result i am a much stronger person & i have been able to explore who I am & ultimately that is the most important journey we can make in life..to find oneself
Tx girl
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Hmmm very hard but easy question if that makes sense. If i could i'd change my dad. The way he was and still is. I'd have a loving father and so would my sister. I'd also change my step father, for many reasons but we wont go in to that! OH OH and my boob size! Hehe they need to shrink!
knightstalker
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I want to give my chance to go back in time to change things to Jewelz..Sweetie it breaks my heart to read what you wrote...Nobody deserves to be treated that way...My dad never abused us in anyway but he was never there either he was always to busy with this or that ...You can have my chance..
knightstalker said:I want to give my chance to go back in time to change things to Jewelz..Sweetie it breaks my heart to read what you wrote...Nobody deserves to be treated that way...My dad never abused us in anyway but he was never there either he was always to busy with this or that ...You can have my chance..
You never cease to amaze me. *kisses you softly on the lips*.....thank you for being there. For caring. For loving. It was a nightmare living with my step dad. We fought many times but the day he took a closed fist and hit my face, knocking me over the kitchen table is the day I stood up to him and told him to watch his back. I could go on for hours, but its too personal. But you my knight, will hear it some day.
Love you.
RavenStorm
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I could say that I would change the fact I was molested for 3 years as a child or I would have never married my exhusband or I would have been there to answer the phone when my brother tried to call right before he was killed. But the abuse made me a stronger person. Even if I do distrust most people. I would never have married my ex, but would still have been with him in some way. I have 2 great kids to show for it. The only one that I would without a doubt change would be my brother. Sorry all that was depressing.
Tx girl
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Jewelz, your right pretty f**ked up. But yet i can't seem to help think things happen for a reason. I just havent figured why its happend to me yet! *hugggs* Another thing, It brings people that deal with this mess everday come together maybe. To keep heads held high. Maybe, just maybe
Tx girl said:
i never understood a calloused heart, a harsh word. i never did anything to truly deserve the hell he put me through. i was told many times i was not worth a damn and no one would ever love me and i would make nothing of my life. yet, like you, i do believe it happens for a reason. i believe i was meant to be put thru the mental anguish in order to abundantly give of myself and keep love, caring, truth, and importance alive. maybe some day, when i reach the golden gates, my good will have soared passed my sins. you are never alone. there is always someone out there that will understand the emotional pain suffered. I wish many great things for you hon. *hugs*
H'venlee
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More than one...
I would change that I did not spend more time with my last fiancee before he died. He was gone before I knew it & I had not said so many things to him!
There are more....but none I can speak of now....
Jewelz...I admire your ability to talk about it here....There are things I wish I could...but I hurt too much to.
I would change that I did not spend more time with my last fiancee before he died. He was gone before I knew it & I had not said so many things to him!
There are more....but none I can speak of now....
Jewelz...I admire your ability to talk about it here....There are things I wish I could...but I hurt too much to.
Re: More than one...
Sweetie, you will be able to talk about it some day. I feel that talking about it is the only thing that keeps me sane cuz when I do think about it and hold all the hurt inside is when I slip into my depression. It DOES hurt sooo much. And reliving it does make me sick to my stomach. But in a silent way, it is healing me, very slowly. The worst pain is my mother telling me I exaggerate it and it wasnt as bad as I claim it to be. Thank God the whole family knows she is in denial. Everyone saw how I was treated and still am treated to this day. And I would live the pain again if I could take away the worst thing that has ever happened to me...thats a whole other story.
In the mean time, I am a PM away if you ever feel you need to talk. I wont judge, I will only listen and care. *hugs* Dont keep it in too long. That will hurt worse. Blessings to you!
H'venlee said:
Sweetie, you will be able to talk about it some day. I feel that talking about it is the only thing that keeps me sane cuz when I do think about it and hold all the hurt inside is when I slip into my depression. It DOES hurt sooo much. And reliving it does make me sick to my stomach. But in a silent way, it is healing me, very slowly. The worst pain is my mother telling me I exaggerate it and it wasnt as bad as I claim it to be. Thank God the whole family knows she is in denial. Everyone saw how I was treated and still am treated to this day. And I would live the pain again if I could take away the worst thing that has ever happened to me...thats a whole other story.
In the mean time, I am a PM away if you ever feel you need to talk. I wont judge, I will only listen and care. *hugs* Dont keep it in too long. That will hurt worse. Blessings to you!
HarveyWallbangr
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To everyone...
...but specifically in this case to Jewelz, H'venlee, Tx, and anyone who feels the same way but hasn't shared it today...
I know I can't understand or relate, and I know words are only scratches on a piece of paper - but my heart goes out to you all.....the world can be a very, very unfair place....but luckily you are still shining points of light in it, which makes it just a little bit brighter.
If it was possible, I'd make the pain go away.
-----
As I stumble through this life,
help me to create more laughter than tears,
dispense more cheer than gloom,
spread more cheer than despair.
Never let me become so indifferent,
that I will fail to see the wonders in the eyes of a child,
or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.
Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people,
make them happy, and forget momentarily,
all the unpleasantness in their lives.
And in my final moment,
may I hear You whisper:
"When you made My people smile,
you made Me smile."
-Anonymous-
...but specifically in this case to Jewelz, H'venlee, Tx, and anyone who feels the same way but hasn't shared it today...
I know I can't understand or relate, and I know words are only scratches on a piece of paper - but my heart goes out to you all.....the world can be a very, very unfair place....but luckily you are still shining points of light in it, which makes it just a little bit brighter.
If it was possible, I'd make the pain go away.
-----
As I stumble through this life,
help me to create more laughter than tears,
dispense more cheer than gloom,
spread more cheer than despair.
Never let me become so indifferent,
that I will fail to see the wonders in the eyes of a child,
or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.
Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people,
make them happy, and forget momentarily,
all the unpleasantness in their lives.
And in my final moment,
may I hear You whisper:
"When you made My people smile,
you made Me smile."
-Anonymous-
HarveyWallbangr
Really Really Experienced
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- Feb 28, 2002
- Posts
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Jewelz said:
Anytime.
G
Guest
Guest
i would have changed the whole year of when i was 12 my mum died my father raped me but know that dirty bastards gone somewhere dunno if hes still in jail
Pdxmwm
Really Experienced
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- Apr 14, 2002
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- 203
I am so sorry.
My heart goes out to you. I know there is no forgetting, and probably no forgiving, but as a survivor, I hope you can go forward, escaping the demons of the past. Posting your story here, give most of us who read it, cause to pause, and reflect on how lucky we are. It cries out for all of us to be vigilant, to do what we can, to protect and support those who are at risk.
I pray you find peace.
Unregistered said:
My heart goes out to you. I know there is no forgetting, and probably no forgiving, but as a survivor, I hope you can go forward, escaping the demons of the past. Posting your story here, give most of us who read it, cause to pause, and reflect on how lucky we are. It cries out for all of us to be vigilant, to do what we can, to protect and support those who are at risk.
I pray you find peace.
