What Would Aliens Think....

[3113]

I suppose this has been done before....but What would Aliens conclude about humans if they had to learn about them only from Litererotica stories?

My thoughts:
1) That all human females have 34-38DD breasts
2) That all human males have penises 8" or longer
3) That very few penises are circumsized.
4) That all humans keep measuring tape on hand so they can make sure their breasts are big enough and penis' are long enough.



What do you think?

 

[CharleyH]

I suppose this has been done before....but What would Aliens conclude about humans if they had to learn about them only from Litererotica stories?

My thoughts:
1) That all human females have 34-38DD breasts
2) That all human males have penises 8" or longer
3) That very few penises are circumsized.
4) That all humans keep measuring tape on hand so they can make sure their breasts are big enough and penis' are long enough.



What do you think?

what would we think of alien sex stories?

 

[Guest]

1. All aliens have an 8" penis.
2. All aliens have 38DD breasts
3. All Literotica authors have been abducted by aliens and forced to have sex.
4. All Literotica authors have been hypnotized to use alien measurements in their stories.

 

[SeaCat]

what would we think of alien sex stories?

Good question. Do we have any to check out?

Cat

 

[CharleyH]

Good question. Do we have any to check out?

Cat

Hm, met a mexican in bed once, but no one from andromeda. Do you think men have triple Ds' there?

 

[Wildcard Ky]

Hm, met a mexican in bed once, but no one from andromeda. Do you think men have triple Ds' there?

Andromedites are gender reversed. Triple D's are needed for the males balls.

 

[zeb1094]

Hm, met a mexican in bed once, but no one from andromeda. Do you think men have triple Ds' there?

That's a shoe size, must have big, flat feet kinda like a duck.

 

[rgraham666]

As I've said before, I'm certain humanity provides many hours of prime time comedy for aliens.

 

[Guest]

oh hell. they already know and they dont give a flying fuck. they just want our chapstick...

 

[BlackShanglan]

I remember reading a science fiction story once that worked on similar lines - the aliens are examining a quite miffed young lady while saying, "But these aren't globes. Is it possible this female is defective? The documents are very clear on the topic - these should be firm white globes. These could not be described as spherical at all."

 

[yui]

I remember reading a science fiction story once that worked on similar lines - the aliens are examining a quite miffed young lady while saying, "But these aren't globes. Is it possible this female is defective? The documents are very clear on the topic - these should be firm white globes. These could not be described as spherical at all."

Bwahahahaha!

 

[Boxlicker101]

I remember reading a science fiction story once that worked on similar lines - the aliens are examining a quite miffed young lady while saying, "But these aren't globes. Is it possible this female is defective? The documents are very clear on the topic - these should be firm white globes. These could not be described as spherical at all."

I read a story something like that, quite a long ago. The aliens had read extensively in Playboy, and believed that, after a male and female kissed, she would produce spores. That was a long time ago. Now, Playboy would go on to describe what happened after the kissing, and the aliens would know exactly how humans reproduced, although they would still have some details to puzzle over.

Zuzie from Planet Zoop goes into some detail on how Zoopians breed, but the introduction of dildos and strapon may have made some changes.

 

[twink_alert86]

oh hell. they already know and they dont give a flying fuck. they just want our chapstick...

Well, they're not getting my Chronicals Of Narnia commemorative Chapstick, I'll fucking tell them that.

 

[yui]

Well, they're not getting my Chronicals Of Narnia commemorative Chapstick, I'll fucking tell them that.

It's your ass they want, Twink, the Chapstick is just gravy.

 

[BlackShanglan]

... the Chapstick is just gravy.

OK, that gets my vote for "worst new fusion cooking flavor experiment."

 

[twink_alert86]

It's your ass they want, Twink, the Chapstick is just gravy.

Oh, well they can have that.

OK, that gets my vote for "worst new fusion cooking flavor experiment."

BAM! *cough*

 

[BlackShanglan]

Oh, well they can have that.
BAM! *cough*

Step a little closer and I will teach you the true meaning of the word "Bam!"

On a plus note, I HAVE a pizzelle iron now! Without the greasy LaGasse's moronic catchphrase on it. Oh, and evidently he's a source of humor in New Orleans for pronouncing his name with fancy airs, unlike everyone else in his family.

Shanglan

 

[NoJo]

I know that the aliens would be shocked at how few of us humans perform zrthith during our larval stages.

 

[Guest]

I know that the aliens would be shocked at how few of us humans perform zrthith during our larval stages.

Well, it took some of us several attempts to get through our larval stages.

I'm still shamed.

 

[rgraham666]

Our larval stage is supposed to end?

Why don't people tell me these things?

 

[yui]

OK, that gets my vote for "worst new fusion cooking flavor experiment."

Gak! I try to use popular ... uh, stuff ... words, expression ... vernacular, mebbe ... and suddenly it's all ass gravy and chapstick.

My parents would mourn.

Oh, well they can have that.

Alien Ass Hussy!

BAM! *cough*

Oh, well, now Shang is going to sooo pizzle your ass ... I mean, pizzelle.

Well, it took some of us several attempts to get through our larval stages.

I'm still shamed.

Our larval stage is supposed to end?

Why don't people tell me these things?

It’s that masturbation thing again, innit? Glasses?

But I didn’t mean to.

 

[Guest]

It’s that masturbation thing again, innit? Glasses?

But I didn’t mean to.

Please! Save the Kittens!!!

 

[BlackShanglan]

Oh, well, now Shang is going to sooo pizzle your ass ... I mean, pizzelle.

A little from column A, a little from column B ...

 

[Guest]

*sigh*

I love it when my ass is pizzeled.

 

[BlackShanglan]

*sigh*

I love it when my ass is pizzeled.

Do you prefer the grid pattern side, or the flower?

Shanglan