What we ate last night

cantdog

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To begin with, set a pot on the stove and simmer:

a can of condensed consomme (or beef stock if you've made some, but use more)
quarter cup (~60ml) Marsala wine

Into this liquid goes

half a shallot, minced
leaves from a sprig of rosemary
a few grinds of black pepper
a crushed juniper berry
a whole clove

set to simmer and cook down while you prepare the meal.

whack off and half-melt

2 tbsp butter (~30 g)

add

juice of about a third of a lime
a bit over a half teaspoon (less than 5 g) brown mustard (horseradish in the mustard is okay but not necessary)

whisk it hard to make the emulsion. this is now "the butter sauce."

cut into hearty chunks

a small zucchini
two huge portabella mushroom caps
bell pappers, green, red, yellow, whatever, maybe a pepper and a half all told
a dozen or more scallions: trim the root nub and take off all but 2 cm or so of the green. This leaves these little wands, white to green.

The vegetable chunks go in a roomy bowl.
Trim the connective tissue from a small pork tenderloin and cut it across into six or seven pieces the size of a ten-year-old's fist

Coat the meat and the vegetables with the butter sauce, which will cling thickly.
Start your grill, have a handful of black olives and some chardonnay. Make coffee,
clean up the kitchen.

placing all the ingredients as close to the flames as you can, sear the outside of the
pork chunks and cause tiny brown blisters and black edges to form on the vegetables.

Put the rack back in the grill so you have some distance from the flames again, turn down the heat and set everything nicely in there so you can shut the cover. Let it cook a while.

Meanwhile pop the leaves off a lot of fresh basil and cut them crossways to make little green ribbons. The mass will be perhaps the size of a big coffee mug, a goodly mound of green. Half of this goes in the marsala & stock pot,
and half on a big platter.

Turn the vegetabvles a lot and the meat somewhat less often.

When the zukes have gotten limp a little, you will be eating in four or five minutes, so make sure the marsala & stock is cooked down low. Taste it. Mine wanted about three quarters of a teaspoon (~4 g) Heinz chili sauce, (which is like cocktail sauce for shrimp only without the horseradish and with less sugar, but cocktail sauce would
have done). whisk.

get out a sieve. pull the vegetables off and toss them with the basil on the platter. move them over on the platter to make room for the meat, which goes right there beside it. Looks good, smells better.

pour the reduced sauce through the sieve onto the meat and serve with lime wedges. for three.


cantdog
 
I'm sorry, what was that again?

I became distracted by the whack off and half-melt part.


;)
 
You and me both, Sarah ... I was thinking that I _never_ have time for that when I'm supposed to be cooking! ;)

Sabledrake
 
What, cut up veggies, cut up meat, grill and sauce? Didn't seem to take so long, maybe forty minutes and the kitchen was clean and coffee made afterward.

I didn't measure, though, which might have saved time. I was winging it. I had a ten-year-old to help, the whole thing went right along.

cantdog
 
*grin*

You missed our point, sweetie - we were talking about whacking off.

But the dinner does sound delightful!

:)
 
So was the ten-year-old. But alas, you can't be whacking off with one of those around, especially in the kitchen.

More's the pity.

Without a ten-year-old, you could subtitute the whacking off for the chard and olives. But you'd need to make coffee after the meal.

cantdog
 
Cover a pork butt roast with water in a big pot and set it to simmer on the stove. Throw in a whole head of garlic, unpeeled, unsliced, un-anythinged. Just throw the whole thing in there along with a teaspoon or two of white pepper and maybe some other stuff (bay leaves, oregano, salt, adobo seasoning, whatever.)

Slice two or three tomatoes and squeeze them to get the watery pulp out. Throw into a processor or chop along with an onion or two, some jalapeno peppers, lemon juice and fresh cilantro. Salt to taste. That's your salsa. Let it rest while all the components get intimate with each other.

Go work on a fucking story for a couple hours while the meat cooks and the house smells great.

Take the meat out of the pot when it's falling apart. Put it on a board and whack your meat with enthusiasm until it's greatly reduced in size.

Get some fresh corn tortillas (package should still be warm) and cook them in a hot giriddle until they get that little crust.

Load with pork and salsa, fold and eat. Don't dick around with any cheese and lettuce. This isn't goddamned Taco Bell.

Hog heaven.

---dr.M.
 
dr_mabeuse said:
whack your meat with enthusiasm

Don't dick around with any cheese and lettuce. This isn't goddamned Taco Bell.
Love those bits, Mab. Yum yum.

Perdita :p
 
perdita said:
Love those bits, Mab. Yum yum.

Perdita :p

Yes - I just read those parts out loud to my hubby.

(And the food sounds delicious, too!)

Now I'm wondering if I should run out and buy a pork roast for dinner?

:)
 
Cant., did not mean to ignore you, wish I'd been at your table. P. :kiss:
 
The kid rolling the stuff in the bowl in all that yellow glop, plunging her hands in to the wrists and giving me such a look! It was fun.

I don't feel ignored. You'd have been just as much fun in the kitchen as the ten-year-old, and a lot more fun before and after!

Svenska, this is art! Art is life! And as dr_Mab remarked, sex is there no matter what. Sorry you can't dig it.

cantdoghttp://no-troy.planetaclix.pt/images/mexico.gif

ps We did drawings, too: guess what this is. Now you do it. It's a carrot! My turn...
 
What time is dinner at your houses??
I'll bring dessert!!!

~A~salivating
 
ABSTRUSE said:
What time is dinner at your houses??
I'll bring dessert!!!

~A~salivating
Make a flan or bring brownies, sixish, we'll do it again with chicken boobs or something

Want beer or wine?
 
Svenskaflicka said:
Just teasing, cantdog! The title of this thread made me groan a little.

And I in my turn chose to misinterpret.:)

But yeah, it's bad when a bunch of serious perv reprobates like us hafta resort to whackin off..
 
cantdog said:
Make a flan or bring brownies, sixish, we'll do it again with chicken boobs or something

Want beer or wine?

Beer, thank you!!!!
 
I had something with a nice Chianti and some fava beans.

(Upping the perv factor here.)
 
Sorry, ours wasn't as nice as yours.
1 1/2 pounds beef slivered.
1 Bell pepper, cut into pieces no larger than the end of your little finger.
1 Onion cut into pieces the same size as Bell Pepper.
3 Cloves Garlic Minced.
2 Thai Peppers Minced.
Handfull, (About half a cup,) Spring Pea Pods cut in half.
Handfull baby Corn.
Basmati Rice.

Brown meat in tablespoon of Olive Oil. When browned add all vegetables and simmer until Onions just start to turn. (Just enough to get that hint of color on their edges.) Serve over rice.

Cat
 
ABSTRUSE said:
Beer, thank you!!!!

Beer's good with grilled stuff. Of course, so's wine!

This time of year, around the solstice, is the finest weather except the high fall in Maine.

Relax and enjoy it.
 
They say that chocolate is a substitute for sex. But what if you eat a penis-shaped bar of chocolate?
 
What is that, a dick popsicle? A dick-sickle?

I'd rather have a penis dipped in chocolate!

;)
 
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