What was this thread about?....oh yeah ADHD...support group? 😅

[cheekygirl75]

Agree, I think now that I know it'll be a game changer (maybe )

Now somebody find me a boyfriend so I can test this theory lol

It got me thinking that even with sexting is an issue. Like if he takes a little too long then ny mind wonders off and is hard to get back to it.

Yes, it’s been a big problem with me when sexting! He’d take a little too long to reply, then just as I was getting into it on my own…. Bing! The notification goes off and there goes my concentration

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Agree, I think now that I know it'll be a game changer (maybe )

Now somebody find me a boyfriend so I can test this theory lol

It got me thinking that even with sexting is an issue. Like if he takes a little too long then ny mind wonders off and is hard to get back to it.

That's kinda why I never got into e-boning. I see an outlet and it's over

 

[JamesD_0117]

I used to be a House DJ during my troubled early adult years. I would, at that time, have tunes constantly playing in my head, flipping from one to anorher and pick out the ones I thought would sound good when mixed together. Sometimes I could arrange whole sets whilst sat at work (when I was meant to be thinking of other stuff ) But I think that was more a reflection of what I found interesting at the time.

Right now I have an obsessive urge to sail boats....I've joined a sailing club and have lessons planned. All my spare time is consumed with reading about sailing......I'll be an astronaut next year

Sailing really taught me to organize and to think processes through. My house is a disaster area. But everyone better put things back on my boat where they found it! It allows me to think fast and act quickly. Then I have time to sit and relax again.

 

[JamesD_0117]

OMG, me too. So annoying!

The meds knock you down sexually, then ADHD has you looking for that new high, then you get distracted during sex. And then it affects relationships because your partner will wonder if you can follow through! This is me!

 

[Cotswolds]

Has anyone been given an explanation for causes and how ADHD presents?

The best explanations I've ever been presented with for causes are those given by Gabor Maté, he's a Hungarian-Canadian psychologist and author, himself diagnosed with ADHD in his 50's. He attributes most of the cause to environment, and in particular, the attunement phase of parenting. He describes it in such a wonderful way, I would never do him justice to even try.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

The best explanations I've ever been presented with for causes are those given by Gabor Maté, he's a Hungarian-Canadian psychologist and author, himself diagnosed with ADHD in his 50's. He attributes most of the cause to environment, and in particular, the attunement phase of parenting. He describes it in such a wonderful way, I would never do him justice to even try.

Points to my box

 

[HoneyMeadows]

I guess I hyper focus on orgasms helps if I have a partner who is patient and

 

[cheekygirl75]

The meds knock you down sexually, then ADHD has you looking for that new high, then you get distracted during sex. And then it affects relationships because your partner will wonder if you can follow through! This is me!

So the meds I'm on actually enhance my libido & orgasms

I guess I hyper focus on orgasms helps if I have a partner who is patient and

I need to learn how to do that!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

How does sleep affect you guys? Do you ever struggle with insomnia? Are you able to focus your brain cameras better when you get loads of sleep?


I may have been awake since 12:45

 

[cheekygirl75]

How does sleep affect you guys? Do you ever struggle with insomnia? Are you able to focus your brain cameras better when you get loads of sleep?


I may have been awake since 12:45

Oh, yes, I definitely struggle with insomnia... I really need to be on top of my "sleep hygiene" to not get totally off track.

Especially when I'm starting to hyper focus on something new - I can get carried away with something far past when I should have gone to bed. I need to have something that will disengage my mind from the hyper focus so that my brain can relax and sleep.

And yes, I definitely can focus better when I've gotten enough sleep. I hope you can get a nap today!

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Oh, yes, I definitely struggle with insomnia... I really need to be on top of my "sleep hygiene" to not get totally off track.

Especially when I'm starting to hyper focus on something new - I can get carried away with something far past when I should have gone to bed. I need to have something that will disengage my mind from the hyper focus so that my brain can relax and sleep.

And yes, I definitely can focus better when I've gotten enough sleep. I hope you can get a nap today!

Lol thanks... no naps in my future but enough caffeine to properly fuck up the rest of my week.

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Come on now. Who are we fooling? This stupid device we sit around and finger fuck for 10 hours a day is more responsible for ADHD than anything else.

 

[JamesD_0117]

Oh, yes, I definitely struggle with insomnia... I really need to be on top of my "sleep hygiene" to not get totally off track.

Especially when I'm starting to hyper focus on something new - I can get carried away with something far past when I should have gone to bed. I need to have something that will disengage my mind from the hyper focus so that my brain can relax and sleep.

And yes, I definitely can focus better when I've gotten enough sleep. I hope you can get a nap today!

Getting to sleep is rough. I get so hyper focused on stuff I can't shut down.

 

[cheekygirl75]

Getting to sleep is rough. I get so hyper focused on stuff I can't shut down.

Yeah, that’s why I need something that will distract my brain enough but also help it to relax. For me, ASMR videos on YouTube work, but I know other people like rain or ocean sounds or just someone reading a story…

I think practicing mindfulness meditation has helped too - learning to just let my thoughts drift without becoming “attached” to them…

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

How does sleep affect you guys? Do you ever struggle with insomnia? Are you able to focus your brain cameras better when you get loads of sleep?


I may have been awake since 12:45

View attachment 2160172

 

[Cotswolds]

I obviously didn't think this thread through and created it on impulse but I'm glad you all got the conversation going!!

I was watching this video on relationships and adhd

And then I thought about how I am in relationships and what are some of the issues I've had in relationships in the past and oops! Have any of you giving this any thought? How does your adhd affect (positively or negatively) your relationships? And if you are in a relationships with someone that has adhd, I'd love to hear from you as well.

I can relate to this video very well. I see this pattern of behaviour in all my relationships, including my marriage. I must be a fucking nightmare to be with at times. My wife and I have noticed that we have a fairly reliable "cycle" of issues which seem to rotate every 6 months or so; probably coinciding with how I'm managing with the termoil inside my headspace. I'm not totally to blame though, I'm sure.....

Riding the wave at the moment, it'll pass.

 

[HoneyMeadows]

How does sleep affect you guys? Do you ever struggle with insomnia? Are you able to focus your brain cameras better when you get loads of sleep?


I may have been awake since 12:45

I find if I'm physically tired that'll win and I'll be asleep with little resistance. Anxiety doesn't help, so sometimes I'm lying staring at the ceiling.

A friend rang me the other night when I was in a bad way and talked me down enough that apparently I was smiling and making my happy noises as I slept, so apparently that helps

I also find that a cuddle with someone with a strong grip helps. Makes me feel safe in that basic human way so the dopamine release just knocks me out.

If I'm really struggling, I'll get up again and do something for an hour before trying to sleep again.

 

[hotoldrguy]

How does sleep affect you guys? Do you ever struggle with insomnia? Are you able to focus your brain cameras better when you get loads of sleep?


I may have been awake since 12:45

My mind races still during the night. I wake up several times a night and start thinking of several things at once. If I was dreaming when I woke up and remember it, I try to go back to sleep to finish the dream.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I sometimes struggle to fall asleep but mostly I'm a sleeper. It's a huge need for me. If I don't know how to cope or what to do, I go to sleep.

I've been working on my sleep hygiene habits. No devices after dinner. I shower in the dark.

Mo is right, these phones we're on are making our lives harder if we're not intentionally throwing up boundaries to protect ourselves. Sleep is one of the most important things to me and I fight hard to make sure I get it. (My kids fight back hard to ensure I'm sleep deprived ).

 

[AlexBailey]

Sleep is my bellwether of how life is going. If any stress is looming I'm wide awake.

 

[Diosax]

The meds knock you down sexually, then ADHD has you looking for that new high, then you get distracted during sex. And then it affects relationships because your partner will wonder if you can follow through! This is me!

I didn't know adhd meds did that too!!

I guess I hyper focus on orgasms helps if I have a partner who is patient and

I do think a partner that is patient and cares about your pleasure helps!

So the meds I'm on actually enhance my libido & orgasms



I need to learn how to do that!

Yas queen. What meds are these

How does sleep affect you guys? Do you ever struggle with insomnia? Are you able to focus your brain cameras better when you get loads of sleep?


I may have been awake since 12:45

If i don't sleep well I'm moody, unproductive, unfocused etc. I def do struggle with insomnia and have been working on my sleep hygiene for a while now. A bedtime routine helps. Sometimes when my mind keeps going when I'm laying down ready for sleep i literally say outloud "ok I'm gonna sleep now" and i swear that helps my brain quiet down

I agree with cheeky that I have to give my brain time to relax to be able to get out of hyperfocus mode and be able to sleep

I can relate to this video very well. I see this pattern of behaviour in all my relationships, including my marriage. I must be a fucking nightmare to be with at times. My wife and I have noticed that we have a fairly reliable "cycle" of issues which seem to rotate every 6 months or so; probably coinciding with how I'm managing with the termoil inside my headspace. I'm not totally to blame though, I'm sure.....

Riding the wave at the moment, it'll pass.

Have you ever been to therapy or have you/would you consider it? I wonder if working on these things with a therapist would help

 

[cheekygirl75]

I just realized why I love my favorite podcast… it’s basically a conversation with four ADHD people.

(If anyone’s interested, it’s called No Such Thing as a Fish. Each person brings an interesting fact & then they sort of go off on different tangents related to the fact.)

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

I obviously didn't think this thread through and created it on impulse but I'm glad you all got the conversation going!!

I was watching this video on relationships and adhd

And then I thought about how I am in relationships and what are some of the issues I've had in relationships in the past and oops! Have any of you giving this any thought? How does your adhd affect (positively or negatively) your relationships? And if you are in a relationships with someone that has adhd, I'd love to hear from you as well.

I watched this one and started one on "tell me you have adhd without saying it" but couldn't finish it. Got distracted.

 

[JamesD_0117]

Yeah, that’s why I need something that will distract my brain enough but also help it to relax. For me, ASMR videos on YouTube work, but I know other people like rain or ocean sounds or just someone reading a story…

I think practicing mindfulness meditation has helped too - learning to just let my thoughts drift without becoming “attached” to them…

I use the “Calm” app. All kinds of different stuff to use for meditation and sleep. My wife uses the meditation for starting the day to go to sleep. Then babbling brook and forest noises. I like the beach sounds. Ahhh!

They did a couple of sleep remixes. One was Post Malone “Circles”. That helps me a lot. The other was Ariana Grande “Breathing“. That did NOT help because I spent an hour thinking of my BFF and was decidedly wound UP!

Funniest sleep story they did was John McEnroe reading the rules of tennis! OMG I FELL ASLEEP!

Still working on mindfulness. Had a great yoga instructor, but she quit doing the restorative yoga. That helped SO much!

 

[JamesD_0117]

I didn't know adhd meds did that too!!

Well, maybe not? But combined with my bipolar and depression meds, that affects things.

I do think a partner that is patient and cares about your pleasure helps!

Most definitely. I think sex in relationships in general is hard. Then add this whole ADHD thing, and it’s a huge challenge.