What was the first concrete evidence you had of your inclinations?

[bruisedangel]

I know, I know. This question has been asked, many times, in many forms. And in other forums on the board. What I'm curious about is that a-ha moment, when one realizes that, yes, BDSM is indeed the way to go. I've had a good deal of time on my hands, this evening, and I was ruminating over a question that was asked to me. When did I first know what I was in to? Not just random thoughts, ideas, whathaveyou, but, really know. In thinking about this, I was fifteen. I was on a band trip (no comments about band camp!). We had gone out of the country, to Canada. During one of the side trips, we were dumped at a mall, and I headed to the bookstore. Adolescent girl, away from home, shelves of erotica...I would up purchasing the entire Sleeping Beauty Chronicles. Certainly not premiere literature, but, for a fifteen year old, a heady experience. It wasn't as if I picked them up by accident. I knew exactly what I was getting. I devoured those books for the next few years. Anyhow, in looking back, I think that could be pinpointed as when I really knew what it was that got me off.

 

[SimonBrooke]

I know, I know. This question has been asked, many times, in many forms. And in other forums on the board. What I'm curious about is that a-ha moment, when one realizes that, yes, BDSM is indeed the way to go. I've had a good deal of time on my hands, this evening, and I was ruminating over a question that was asked to me. When did I first know what I was in to? Not just random thoughts, ideas, whathaveyou, but, really know. In thinking about this, I was fifteen. I was on a band trip (no comments about band camp!). We had gone out of the country, to Canada. During one of the side trips, we were dumped at a mall, and I headed to the bookstore. Adolescent girl, away from home, shelves of erotica...I would up purchasing the entire Sleeping Beauty Chronicles. Certainly not premiere literature, but, for a fifteen year old, a heady experience. It wasn't as if I picked them up by accident. I knew exactly what I was getting. I devoured those books for the next few years. Anyhow, in looking back, I think that could be pinpointed as when I really knew what it was that got me off.

The very first sexual fantasies I remember - certainly pre-pubescent - involved chasing specific girls whom I knew through forests, catching them, stripping them naked, tying them up, stroking them, and then knowing there was something very important one did next, but not knowing what it was. This was before I was eleven and may have been as young as eight.

But concrete? Not until much later. I practised very mild bondage with my first wife - she was very sexy and very rewarding sexually, but bondage did nothing special for her. So my first real BDSM relationship was with my second wife, in my mid thirties.

 

[thatgirl2136]

i think subtly i knew when i was very very young maybe 8 or 9 when something excited me about being controlled or captured for various reasons. then around 13 i started realizing this sort of thing was a major turn on but being raised homeschooled and whatnot i thought it was very wrong and steered away from it until i met my first Dom online at 17 (but dont think i stopped imagining dirty things between 13-17 hah) and was addicted since.
so i'm not too sure what the absolute set in stone moment but it had to be somewhere in there

 

[Plasmaball]

um its been over a long period of time that the control aspect crept in and took over.
I am not all hardcore balls to the wall, but i like to be running the show.

Maybe it came about around the age of 23? late bloomer

 

[sereneone4u]

um its been over a long period of time that the control aspect crept in and took over.
I am not all hardcore balls to the wall, but i like to be running the show.

Maybe it came about around the age of 23? late bloomer

I think you are anything BUT a late bloomer, lol.

 

[CuteBrat]

im like ThatGirl...in that it was in my head when i was 8 or 9. The first time i can remember having an orgasm, was from me about 8 years old, putting pressure on my pussy, pretending i was hog-tied. and i had HUGE fantasies about pirates. They would drag me out of the hold of the ship, and circle around me while i was tied to the mast and stripped. (i was 8 so i was a little unclear what happend after that...but i knew it made me mondo-tingly!!)

i also found the Sleeping Beauty books when i was like 13...and i was totally into them. And then i found Story of O...and i was HOOOOOOOKED!

 

[00Syd]

Because everything I enountered to do with PYL-male/pyl-female BDSM turned me on (besides being turned on by everything capture/bondage forever to begin with).

It really wasn't hard to figure out.

 

[WriterDom]

1996. Spanking the redhead without permission. Lucky she liked it. Then finding a grad student at UGA for spanking fun. I didn't know bdsm existed.

 

[StrayKat]

Nasty story.

I made friends with a girl who was previously in relationship with a bully. She would tell me stories and I was surprisingly interested.
One evening we went out with some other girls, all of us quite eager to have some "fun". We bumped into several friends of mentioned bully, went home with them and had an orgy. We all had too much to drink and one of the guys couldnt cum and was getting pissed off.
One moment he jumped off the girl he was screwing and started to beat her quite severely. The others managed to pull him off, we girls got busy around her.

I was fascinated. I saw people fighting but never naked and basically in the middle of sex. I was watching that guy completely lost in trying to pull off and jump back on her and all I could think of was how good would it feel to tie him up that moment and beat him back without mercy..... and I got so turned on....

When we got back (we all lived in kind of boarding house) that friend of mine helped the beaten girl clean up, but I saw her touching in odd way, like she enjoyed her bruises..... that night she crawled in my bed and we had very rough and very wonderful sex.

I did some wild things when I was young

 

[JMohegan]

Power? This.

Pain? First time I got inside a female's shirt.

 

[JMohegan]

um its been over a long period of time that the control aspect crept in and took over.
I am not all hardcore balls to the wall, but i like to be running the show.

Maybe it came about around the age of 23? late bloomer

I definitely feel like a late bloomer when I read about all these fantasies people had as kids. I was totally uninterested in females before puberty set in.

 

[MisterSir]

Gimme a second while I get the flagpole set up, because...it was the cover art for Dungeon Keeper 2. Yes, I'm flying my geek flag without shame, the Dark Mistress was foxy and I was eleven.

 

[graceanne]

Power? This.

I missed that thread, but that is WAY cool.

 

[ownedsubgal]

i can't say that i ever had any bdsm fantasies, and still don't.

but i started realizing that i craved and needed someone to take control over me shortly after my Father died. He had been the center of my universe, and with him gone i was utterly lost. my life had no purpose or direction, and it lost all meaning for me. i knew that something major was missing...some Guiding Light, to just take over because it was clear that i could not do it on my own.

now as far as the submissive side, that just seems to be how i was wired from birth. i was just inclined to please and take care of others, to not refuse anyone, to always consider myself and my needs dead last. i absolutely hated this about myself, it was not a yummy feel good thing.

 

[graceanne]

Gimme a second while I get the flagpole set up, because...it was the cover art for Dungeon Keeper 2. Yes, I'm flying my geek flag without shame, the Dark Mistress was foxy and I was eleven.

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h284/graceanne1978/GEEKFLAG.jpg

 

[subish2009]

Power? This.
<snip>

I had a somewhat similar experience (Great story, JMohegan, by the way!) from the opposite end, only less intense, in fifth grade. I think we were learning the jitterbug. It was during the Dirty Dancing craze and the boy I was dancing with was the cutest, most popular boy in my class, a nice guy, too. But he pulled that 'look in my eyes' line, which seemed rather commanding to me at the ripe old age of 10. I like it a lot. In a way that I sensed I was liking it more or differently than another girl would have.

Then I used to have fantasies forever about being restrained and tickled by a group of men. This had to be between the ages of 10-13 or so. (Although, frankly, I guess that is actually still a fantasy now!)

But the first time I became aware of BDSM on any remotely specific level was around 16 or 17 when my boyfriend figured out that I liked being held down, but that was as far as we ever went with it, though I KNEW I wanted to go a lot further.

It wasn't until I was 20 that my husband (then boyfriend) and I started really exploring different areas of BDSM and identifying our specific, personal kinks.

 

[Netzach]

I was late to the table sexually and had a lot of uncrystallized stuff in my head which wasn't really in the front of it until I was in college and read about Leather in some queer media class and it was like "holy shit, people do this, and here's how!"

As for power in relationships, I only know that they were unerotic, humiliating, and frustrating when I felt insufficient control in them.

 

[graceanne]

I don't know about kinky, but the first . . . incident that made me realize I tend toward controlling, abusive guys was when I was 14. This guy I had a crush on threatened to burn me with his cigarette cause I'd taken his hat. Another incident was a guy-friend in my class grabbing my arm and twisting it behind me (I forget why, but I think I had something of his). These are also the incidents that made me realize that my instincts towards guy were fucked, and if someone instantly made me wet that they were to be avoided, at all cost.

 

[MisterSir]

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h284/graceanne1978/GEEKFLAG.jpg

That's the one.

 

[JMohegan]

Gimme a second while I get the flagpole set up, because...it was the cover art for Dungeon Keeper 2. Yes, I'm flying my geek flag without shame, the Dark Mistress was foxy and I was eleven.

What did the cover art look like? "Dark Mistress" makes it sound like you were turned on by a D, not an s.

(I have no idea what Dungeon keeper is.)

I missed that thread, but that is WAY cool.

I miss Shank! That was one of his best threads.

I had a somewhat similar experience (Great story, JMohegan, by the way!) from the opposite end, only less intense, in fifth grade. I think we were learning the jitterbug. It was during the Dirty Dancing craze and the boy I was dancing with was the cutest, most popular boy in my class, a nice guy, too. But he pulled that 'look in my eyes' line, which seemed rather commanding to me at the ripe old age of 10. I like it a lot. In a way that I sensed I was liking it more or differently than another girl would have.

Then I used to have fantasies forever about being restrained and tickled by a group of men. This had to be between the ages of 10-13 or so. (Although, frankly, I guess that is actually still a fantasy now!)

But the first time I became aware of BDSM on any remotely specific level was around 16 or 17 when my boyfriend figured out that I liked being held down, but that was as far as we ever went with it, though I KNEW I wanted to go a lot further.

It wasn't until I was 20 that my husband (then boyfriend) and I started really exploring different areas of BDSM and identifying our specific, personal kinks.

Thanks.

Gang tickling, huh? You know, it shouldn't be too hard to make that actually happen. Does your partner know?

 

[MisterSir]

What did the cover art look like? "Dark Mistress" makes it sound like you were turned on by a D, not an s.

(I have no idea what Dungeon keeper is.)

She was dressed like a Domme, but if she was placed in the Torture Chamber, she'd gain happiness from being tortured - pure sub. Spoiler: She's the one that's not red.

 

[JMohegan]

She was dressed like a Domme, but if she was placed in the Torture Chamber, she'd gain happiness from being tortured - pure sub. Spoiler: She's the one that's not red.

Ah - okay. Thanks.

 

[eastern sun]

Power? This.

Pain? First time I got inside a female's shirt.

Wow. . . I want to dance with you.

 

[arielsgoddess]

I would have to say around age 8...

When I realized how much I craved the feeling of freshly sharpened pencils drawn gently or skillfully on my back. Anyone else with similar early fetish?

 

[eastern sun]

These are also the incidents that made me realize that my instincts towards guy were fucked, and if someone instantly made me wet that they were to be avoided, at all cost.

I love this. I have the same reaction to people with whom I feel instant chemistry. I "drop & blush" and get the hell out of there.