What to wear to bdsm club?

[Trevize77]

We are planning on going to a local club next month for the first time. Their website says that they don't have a dress code, but we want to know what is typically worn before we show up and look completely out of place. While they have pictures of the location online, they obviously don't post pictures of their guests.

So, what is typical for a Dom and/or sub in this type of setting?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Really, no dress code! Black is the favorite color. Or red, or dark colors-- people didn't care much for my hawaiian shirt that one time...

The ladies like to wear something a little bit revealing, and the men usually wear black pants-- jeans is a favorite-- and black tee or button down. Or red, or dark colors. Dress for sexiness, yanno? Even if you're not planning to participate.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

E-mail them at their "Contact Us" address and ask what most people wear. There is no universal dress code for clubs. Even different clubs in the same area will likely vary, and different groups meeting at the same location on different dates will probably have differences.

If that fails, find people on Fetlife who frequent the club and ask them.

 

[DVS]

It's true that most play parties or private clubs don't have a dress code and it's also true that when talking about a BDSM club, many times fetish wear is the norm. But, basic casual is OK, too.

Not knowing where this club is, if the entrance is not private, they might request you wear some kind of over wrap until you get inside to where the fun is. And if it's in a private room of a restaurant, the restaurant might prefer you don't walk through their public establishment wearing your best leather and chains, pulling your submissive behind you with her collar.

So, as Sir_Winston has mentioned, it's probably a good idea to contact them and see if there are any rules you should know about like where to park, how to enter the place, if there's a special entrance and what to wear before you get inside. And at that same time, you can ask what others are wearing, so you don't stand out like a newbie at their first club meeting. Above all, have a good time.

And if it wouldn't be too much trouble, it would be nice if you could give us a report on how the whole thing went, such as if they tried to make you feel at ease and if the group as a whole were friendly people. And, if at all possible, maybe tell us about some of the fun stuff that went on.

You could be doing a favor to many others who have been thinking about taking the same plunge in their area. And, we're always interested in kinky fun parties.

 

[Trevize77]

Here is a picture of the place.

 

[DVS]

Damn, that looks like a nice place. I'd guess a place that size has its own parking lot and entrance. I'd also guess there will be a large crowd of kinky folks there. This is going to be an exciting night, for sure.

 

[Fuckette]

Something you feel confident wearing

 

[Loverskitten]

That looks like a very nice place. Are you planning on playing or watching?

No dress code? Almost every event I've seen on Fet, gives an idea of what to wear (or NOT to wear)
I've seen men/women in robes between playing and of course nude.

I know some higher protocol parties have strict dress codes "NO JEANS" is one I see a lot.
They want the men in dark slacks, a dress shirt, or a suit, and nice underwear (especially if you plan to play)
Women in fetish wear or a cocktail dress.

 

[Endless_Night]

OP, please, please, please post back and tell us how it goes!

I really, really want to visit a BDSM club. My SO is not particularly interested, but I nearly have a girlfriend talked into a visit. Once I find one. You'd think a city as large as Houston would have several (I haven't checked on Fetlife yet), but the only well publicized one I'm aware of is in Austin, Texas. A two --> three hour drive.

 

[DVS]

That looks like a very nice place. Are you planning on playing or watching?

No dress code? Almost every event I've seen on Fet, gives an idea of what to wear (or NOT to wear)
I've seen men/women in robes between playing and of course nude.

I know some higher protocol parties have strict dress codes "NO JEANS" is one I see a lot.
They want the men in dark slacks, a dress shirt, or a suit, and nice underwear (especially if you plan to play)
Women in fetish wear or a cocktail dress.

I've heard of dress codes like that, but mostly when there is some special event going on. They prefer people to dress up a little, and I understand that. But, if this is not some special event, I'd think casual and/or fetish wear would be the norm. I'd hate to show up at my first event in jeans and see everybody else dressed in their best attire as much as I'd hate to show up all nice and pretty to see everybody else in jeans. Contacting the place to be sure would be the thing to do, if it were me.

 

[DVS]

OP, please, please, please post back and tell us how it goes!

I really, really want to visit a BDSM club. My SO is not particularly interested, but I nearly have a girlfriend talked into a visit. Once I find one. You'd think a city as large as Houston would have several (I haven't checked on Fetlife yet), but the only well publicized one I'm aware of is in Austin, Texas. A two --> three hour drive.

Houston Texas area BDSM groups. While these groups might not have a fancy meeting place like the picture above, they probably have munches and play parties that you could attend. Check them out and find one that interests you. Oh, and if you find one you like and go to a party, report back how your first visit was, too. We're all a little perverted and enjoy hearing good stories.

 

[Endless_Night]

Thanks for the link, DVS. I checked out most of these -

Houston Texas area BDSM groups.

- when I first became interested in exploring D/s. Unfortunately most are Yahoo groups with little information. Understandable, but not all that welcoming. Plus, while my girl friend is supportive, but doesn't remotely "get" kink, so I'm hesitant to drag her into a small group setting which she might find uncomfortable.

There's an actual BDSM Dungeon in Austin - woohoo! An environment that, while no doubt more visually stimulating , would be less intimate than a small group.

Stil, one of the above groups has a webpage that stresses friendliness to newbies. It will probably be my best bet, and I can always go by myself if my friend balks.

And, of course I'll post any interesting experiences!

 

[njlauren]

usually public bd/sm clubs don't have strict dress codes, when dress codes are in force it usually is because a specific group is running an event, like a gay leather group or some such. When I was going to BD/SM clubs, it ranged, some people were in fetish wear (corsets, pvc, etc, etc), others were in black jeans and tops, some were in dresses , couple of doms I knew loved to wear the tartan (kilts and so forth), some were nude or near nude, varied. Usually if it is a special event they will say what the code is, so you will know.


I would see if the club has something on their website, but if they don't, you may for the first time may want to wear something neutral, maybe a pair of black pants/jeans and a dark top, if you want to jazz it a bit wear a pair of boots over the jeans and maybe wear more dramatic makeup then you might otherwise, for the guy pair of black paints, motorcycle boots and a black dress shirt works wonders....get the lay of the land, and when you go the next time, have real fun (just know that boots with 5" heels can really start killing the feet after a while *lol*)

 

[LWulf]

Events aside, and "clean" is one thing, but any place that tells you you HAVE to dress a certain way to be there, usually isn't worth it.

Usually during an event, dress code is suggested but still not enforced.

Just my opinion.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I guess it depends where you are when there is a dresscode for an event or party here, it's very strictly enforced. Otherwise you get "the tourists" who come to look at the dressed up people and it creates a freak show feeling and in the end nobody dresses up.

Most places will be helpful if you call ahead and ask what's best to wear anyway.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

For women, corsets are very acceptable, as is latex and Pvc. I wore a little black dress with fet gear under it so I was safe whatever.

For men, black is the most accepted. No jeans, leather is good. A sharp black suit always rocks. Unless the man is the sub, or you practise pet play, then dress appropriately

Have fun!

 

[BettyPoop]

The clubs I used to go to in NYC never had a dress code.

The woman who took me had me dressed as everything from the business woman I am (she had the pants custom made crotchless), school girl, trampy whore, cliched librarian, etc. Those are the few I remember offhand.

 

[RivkaBlack]

The commonly quoted rule of thumb is "whatever makes you feel sexy".

If you've never been to a party before I would suggest something neutral. Dark wash, unripped jeans and a button down is a good way to straddle the presentable/casual line. If you don't like black don't worry, wear a color! Women shouldn't feel restricted to "sexy" clothes. Pick what makes you feel right if you aren't into sexy, slinky dresses. If you're uncertain you can bring a change of clothes in a bag along with your toys and collar and stuff.

Personally I love wearing floral sundresses to parties. They reflect my personality in scene and make me stand out. A lot of people like being flogged by bubbly girls in pretty dresses as it turns out..

 

[LWulf]

The commonly quoted rule of thumb is "whatever makes you feel sexy".

If you've never been to a party before I would suggest something neutral. Dark wash, unripped jeans and a button down is a good way to straddle the presentable/casual line. If you don't like black don't worry, wear a color! Women shouldn't feel restricted to "sexy" clothes. Pick what makes you feel right if you aren't into sexy, slinky dresses. If you're uncertain you can bring a change of clothes in a bag along with your toys and collar and stuff.

Personally I love wearing floral sundresses to parties. They reflect my personality in scene and make me stand out. A lot of people like being flogged by bubbly girls in pretty dresses as it turns out..

THIS. Though the "flogged by bubbly girls in pretty dresses" makes me all manner of gigglyhaha.
(I guess I'm not one to be flogged, let alone by bubbly girls in pretty dresses )

I hate pretentious attitudes that insist you wear what they can afford (leather for instance) and what they think is interesting. Hobnobbing with elistists is the last thing I think of when it comes to having fun and relaxing. Enough of the hoity-toity "wear black." People that feel vulnerable wearing whatever they like, including leather, shouldn't wear that.

Wear what is comfortable, wear what you can afford, and wear what you like, and if someone else doesn't like what you're wearing, too ... bad.

Perhaps this is a regional social concept... So, maybe the answer depends on where the club is. I've lived in many different regions and have adopted a little of all.

 

[Endless_Night]

Personally I love wearing floral sundresses to parties. They reflect my personality in scene and make me stand out. A lot of people like being flogged by bubbly girls in pretty dresses as it turns out..

I am soooo wearing a floral sundress if I ever attend a party!

* While having no interest in flogging others, the mental image is to good to pass up.

 

[Primalex]

The Crucible?

No need to worry, you'll see even jeans and t-shirt there.

 

[Vixandra]

I like corsets and slacks with shoes I can move easily in or dance. For me, those are most often knee-high black leather boots that lace up the front with side zippers for ease of getting on/off. They're comfy and appropriate.

Make sure whatever you're wearing can breath, a lot of clubs can get pretty warm.

 

[hotwife_regina]

I would love wear a BDSM Dress with chain and faux leather sometimes i have used a single a pc teddy with jeans short.

 

[Submissivepat]

The club we used to frequent had a locker room where I stripped. Hubby, my Dom, made me go naked in the club.

 

[Husband55]

This thread has been going for years!

Always found making an effort was appreciated.
This didn't mean expensive leather and speciality clothing, an effort to dress in other than " street clothes" that had a reflection of your kink.

Me? Usually dress black pants, shoes/boots and black button up shirt and black tie. Black latex gloves and a gas mask.

Public advertised pay parties tend to be entry level mild events. Meeting others and possibly being invited to more private events a little effort is definitely required. Actively seeking dress and behaviour protocols I found was always appreciated.

Wearing something you wore on the street, sadly, a judgement was made you were only there to watch because nothing was good on tv.... I can only speak of what I experienced and heard over a few decades.