What can you do when you thought you were happily married, and then realize you are gay/lesbian? I want to stay with my husband because he is a good man, a good father, attractive, and I want to have more kids with him, but I only want to have sex with my friend. She is the first woman that I have had any experience with, and now she is all I want!
What to do?
- Thread starter blondi84
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BelleDragoness
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I cant give you any sage words of wisdom to help you with your dilemma but I know my husband would literally bust a nut to see me with another woman F-F-M kinda thing.
I do hope you find a solution
I do hope you find a solution
BelleDragoness
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I can sympathise Blondi. I love my husband more now than I did when we first met and we've been married for 15 years now. Thats probably why I'd never sleep with anyone else but the temptation is always there as well.
We talk about bringing in another sex partner but I dont think we'd ever act on it because why ruin something thats already good?
Also Ive been in love with many people to the point of distraction but that lust soon wears off.
We talk about bringing in another sex partner but I dont think we'd ever act on it because why ruin something thats already good?
Also Ive been in love with many people to the point of distraction but that lust soon wears off.
techsan
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Here are the ramblings of an old man. Take it with "a grain of salt"...!!!blondi84 said:
Hubby may be tickled pink to see you "with" another woman but if he's still a man, he WONT be tickled to find his source of sexual release totally cut off (you said "only want to have sex with my friend"), or just cut down to "making babies" (you also said "want to have more kids with him"). So what alternatives are there?
First being able to watch and participate is a possibility. If you and your girlfriend get it on, can you (and she) take it if he joins in? Will you like watching him fuck her? Will she let him fuck her if the reward is being with you? If everyone is agreeable, this might be the very best solution to keeping everyone happy.
Another option is: you and your friend do your thing at her place and at home, you keep hubby happy by giving him as much as he wants too. You wouldn't have to think about him screwing another woman but you would have to sacrifice something of yourself to keep him happy while you get your pleasure from the new source. My take is that few people would really like this solution
Still a third possibility is: make an agreement with hubby that whenever you and your friend meet, he is free to take any other partner he chooses. That let's him go outside of your marriage, just as you did, and get his fun...that way neither you nor hubby is more guilty of cheating than the other. Hopefully you don't expect him to sit on it while you are out playing with someone else. This might keep hubby happy but also might lead to an eventual parting of the ways for you two since he's not getting from you the joy he expected when you married...?!?
Really this question does not boil down to a gay/lesbian question (IMHO) but one of how strictly do you hold to your wedding vows. If you both see other partners and are agreed to it, does it really matter if they are male or female? I don't think so.
Seems like if your could agree on one of these approaches, your could "have your cake and eat it too," so to speak.
mansome
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blondi84 said:
You aren't quite sure about anything are you...
hopefully if you really do have a husband you haven't been cheating on him behind his back... if you truly have feelings for women, you should probably discuss them with him.....
blondi...
Was this the dinner night you spoke of???
Was it that much fun babe?...If so, how does she feel about her relationship with her husband?
Have you considered doing it again since it happened?
Let's talk about this, I can see myself in your position in the near future and want to make sure that satisfying my "bi" desires is worth it to me.
Was this the dinner night you spoke of???
Was it that much fun babe?...If so, how does she feel about her relationship with her husband?
Have you considered doing it again since it happened?
Let's talk about this, I can see myself in your position in the near future and want to make sure that satisfying my "bi" desires is worth it to me.
lastingpassion
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Happy solution?
You have been given some good advice from others here. However, shall we cover the fundamental issue and maybe see this scenario for what it is? You obviously still love your husband and want to stay with him. You want only to have sex with your lady friend. Your situation appears to describe how strong your bisexual tendencies are becoming. That is the joy you wish to satisfy now along with keeping your husband a happy husband. I would agree with the advice of Toilette when she had suggested to mix patience with psycology. Do what you've done to keep your husband happy, but also; do what you need (and when you can) to keep yourself happy and satisfied with the woman you speak of. The pleasure of being bisexual is that you have the capacity to give happiness and passion to whom you have desires for. As time goes on you (or) your husband will know when and if it is right for another to enter your bedroom. I think when that moment arrives, you will be clear in your thinking and realize the best choice to keep everyone contented.
........... good luck and keep us some info
blondi84 said:
You have been given some good advice from others here. However, shall we cover the fundamental issue and maybe see this scenario for what it is? You obviously still love your husband and want to stay with him. You want only to have sex with your lady friend. Your situation appears to describe how strong your bisexual tendencies are becoming. That is the joy you wish to satisfy now along with keeping your husband a happy husband. I would agree with the advice of Toilette when she had suggested to mix patience with psycology. Do what you've done to keep your husband happy, but also; do what you need (and when you can) to keep yourself happy and satisfied with the woman you speak of. The pleasure of being bisexual is that you have the capacity to give happiness and passion to whom you have desires for. As time goes on you (or) your husband will know when and if it is right for another to enter your bedroom. I think when that moment arrives, you will be clear in your thinking and realize the best choice to keep everyone contented.
........... good luck and keep us some info
I am a guy in your position. Realising my gay side later in life ...married with kids.
I did not cheat, my wife and I agreed for me to try it out...for me to see for once what it would be like. Well, all this time later, I am in love with the only guy I have ever been with and am about to walk out on my wife and kids who I love dearly. I can't imagine them without me or me without them. But my wife is aware of "how gay " I am...
And sexually I do get more from my guy than with her.... still, she has been my partner for all this time, my best friend.
Right now, I hate that I am gay, I hate that I realised it so late...I hate coming to terms with this effects so many others.
To the people who knew they were gay from 12yo...don't even START saying I was in denial for all those years ...I was not. Being with a guy has made me realise that "little bi kink" I thought I had...was WAY more than that.
If you love your husband, love your life as it is...then my advice is DO NOT fuck it up.
I should have experimented that one time...and never gone back. I say that, even though I love him incredibly. The truth is, if either one of us knew what the cost was going to be, we would have left it at a brief casual encounter.
We tried the threesome thing too...in life and in bed. Eventually one of the two will need you more and you will have to choose. If you never want to have to choose, then leave the whole scene alone.
I did not cheat, my wife and I agreed for me to try it out...for me to see for once what it would be like. Well, all this time later, I am in love with the only guy I have ever been with and am about to walk out on my wife and kids who I love dearly. I can't imagine them without me or me without them. But my wife is aware of "how gay " I am...
And sexually I do get more from my guy than with her.... still, she has been my partner for all this time, my best friend.
Right now, I hate that I am gay, I hate that I realised it so late...I hate coming to terms with this effects so many others.
To the people who knew they were gay from 12yo...don't even START saying I was in denial for all those years ...I was not. Being with a guy has made me realise that "little bi kink" I thought I had...was WAY more than that.
If you love your husband, love your life as it is...then my advice is DO NOT fuck it up.
I should have experimented that one time...and never gone back. I say that, even though I love him incredibly. The truth is, if either one of us knew what the cost was going to be, we would have left it at a brief casual encounter.
We tried the threesome thing too...in life and in bed. Eventually one of the two will need you more and you will have to choose. If you never want to have to choose, then leave the whole scene alone.
so it may have been lightly touched on, but i'd like to shed some of my own light, if i may...
what's the difference between sleeping with a man and a woman?
why would a woman not "count" as cheating?
why would it be ok for a woman to try her sexual desires with another woman, but not ok for a man to try his sexual desires with another woman?
i'm asking, don't you feel like you're cheating? would it be any different if your new love was a man?
what's the difference between sleeping with a man and a woman?
why would a woman not "count" as cheating?
why would it be ok for a woman to try her sexual desires with another woman, but not ok for a man to try his sexual desires with another woman?
i'm asking, don't you feel like you're cheating? would it be any different if your new love was a man?
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