What To Do With Bullies

[MisterDark]

This is probably the wrong place to put this - and this is not meant to be the start of a sexual thread rather - a real issue that I'm unsure how to approach.

I have a son that has Cerebral Palsy and is slightly autistic. Lately he has been the target of a lot of bullying and having lived through bullying during my high school years, I am fed up with it. I am now bigger than my bullies from high school and have worked as a bouncer and bodyguard. My boy is large for his age (11 years old - 5 foot 3 inches 125 pounds) however not as coordinated as most kids his age and still a little socially awkward.

Now, my immediate reaction to seeing my boy crying and saying, "I don't know, maybe they're (his bullies) right, maybe I do suck, maybe I shouldn't have been born...." is to lash out in anger and want to beat the holy crap out of his parents. I've watched all the anti-bullying stuff - and I don't see any solutions coming out of it. Sure, we all should have learned to treat each other nice as children - but apparently some folks were gone on that day......

Just wanted some opinions.....

 

[ERoleplayer]

This is probably the wrong place to put this - and this is not meant to be the start of a sexual thread rather - a real issue that I'm unsure how to approach.

I have a son that has Cerebral Palsy and is slightly autistic. Lately he has been the target of a lot of bullying and having lived through bullying during my high school years, I am fed up with it. I am now bigger than my bullies from high school and have worked as a bouncer and bodyguard. My boy is large for his age (11 years old - 5 foot 3 inches 125 pounds) however not as coordinated as most kids his age and still a little socially awkward.

Now, my immediate reaction to seeing my boy crying and saying, "I don't know, maybe they're (his bullies) right, maybe I do suck, maybe I shouldn't have been born...." is to lash out in anger and want to beat the holy crap out of his parents. I've watched all the anti-bullying stuff - and I don't see any solutions coming out of it. Sure, we all should have learned to treat each other nice as children - but apparently some folks were gone on that day......

Just wanted some opinions.....

Paraplegic in a wheelchair here....
Hit by a car at age 6..Left paralyzed from waist down.
Went to all public schools. Married 37yrs now and have a 29 year career.

Kids can be cruel...Going thru some of that now with my adopted son who is slower than some.
Like my son...he needs friends..friends that will encourage and stick up for him.
I had a few... but I was also tough...you fuck with me..I'd kick you ass kind of guy.

Love your son...make him do what he needs to do to be a man. Win some..lose some. He'll earn respect by standing up. He need not let them put him down. Stand your ground young man.

God Bless him...I WILL Pray for him..if that's okay with you.

T

 

[MisterDark]

Paraplegic in a wheelchair here....
Hit by a car at age 6..Left paralyzed from waist down.
Went to all public schools. Married 37yrs now and have a 29 year career.

Kids can be cruel...Going thru some of that now with my adopted son who is slower than some.
Like my son...he needs friends..friends that will encourage and stick up for him.
I had a few... but I was also tough...you fuck with me..I'd kick you ass kind of guy.

Love your son...make him do what he needs to do to be a man. Win some..lose some. He'll earn respect by standing up. He need not let them put him down. Stand your ground young man.

God Bless him...I WILL Pray for him..if that's okay with you.

T

Appreciate your comments ERole - He is a tough kid. Played in a softball league with normal kids this summer - isn't fast - tires easily - but fought through it. I've worked hard to teach him not to strike in anger but the scene last night (he just got waste paper out of the garbage and began tearing it into little pieces to channel his anger and frustration). I'm so proud of how he has fought and worked to get to a point where many don't realize he has a handicap (until they see his braces or see him try to run).

Had a friend that used to run my computer business with me that was confined to a wheel chair but that was from an accident when he was an adult. You're to be commended for how you have come through your childhood and absolutely I appreciate the prayers - his name is Ryan.

 

[SwtSassyNrse26]

I too will add prayers.

I'm not a parent but hope to be someday. I'm sure you reassure him daily of his self worth. And what a blessing he is. Remind him that bullying is their shortcomings and inadequacies. They fall short not him. Then teach him how to throw a good right hook or bite like hell

Hugs

 

[Everyday_Man]

Paraplegic in a wheelchair here....
Hit by a car at age 6..Left paralyzed from waist down.

I had a few... but I was also tough...you fuck with me..I'd kick you ass kind of guy.


T

How? Your legs don't work! ... Sorry, couldn't help myself.

 

[LWulf]

What ER said sums up what I was going to say, but differently.

Eventually, you won't be there for him. It's hard (on you) to see where you could make his troubles go away, but he will never learn how to stand up for himself until he does.

One day, you won't be there for him anymore, would you like him to learn how to stand up for himself on that day and have nobody to help him work out the right way to respond, or for him to start now where you can coach him in the way you think is right?

Love him, be there for him and talk to him when he is ready to listen and only then. That's all my advice is.

 

[MisterDark]

I haven't figured out how to post multiple quotes so I'll just say.....

SwtSassy - I laughed when I read the right hook thing. Actually - he's gotten in trouble for fighting at school. So I told him to just put people in their place verbally - and he got in trouble for that too. When I confronted the principal because he got sent home with yet another yellow (bad) note - I asked the principal what she wanted out of him. Principal said she was used to boys just "dooking it out"......then I reminded her he got in trouble for that too. Long story short - the bad slip was torn up by the principal.

Wulf - I hope the day NEVER comes that I'm not there for my kids. I've raised 6 before this one - my oldest is 31 - I'm still there when the shit gets deep for ANY of them - even the one that I think has destroyed her own life - I'm still dad and I'm still there and I'm still just a Big Ugly they can call when things get to that point. The thing is.....I don't want to teach him to use violence to settle things. I was bullied. I never fought unless backed into a corner and then it was just blind rage and I really really hurt people (but I guarantee I never threw a first punch).

The things coming out of his mouth last night just really scared me to hear a child of age 11 saying. Bullying has to stop but I think it begins with parents and how do you educate parents that don't care or hear what their little angel is saying or doing? Ryan is kind of big for his age and like I was once described.....he's got stupid he hasn't started to use......he'd fight a gorilla if he was threatened.....

All the anti-bullying campaigns are directed at children. Problem is, bullying is learned at home - by what kids see and hear. I guarantee the kid that told my boy he would have been better off if he hadn't been born didn't just come up with that on his own. Until the penalties for kids bullying involves the parents - it won't stop I don't believe. Just my opinion.

 

[LWulf]

I haven't figured out how to post multiple quotes so I'll just say.....

Bottom right of every post has a plus sign "+" Click that and it should turn reddish. Click a few more from other's posts and when you're finished click "quote." That will open a screen with everyone's posts in your reply. Click "preview" to see how your response looks with other's quoted posts until you get familiar with it.

Wulf - I hope the day NEVER comes that I'm not there for my kids.
...
The things coming out of his mouth last night just really scared me to hear a child of age 11 saying. Bullying has to stop but I think it begins with parents and how do you educate parents that don't care or hear what their little angel is saying or doing?
...
Until the penalties for kids bullying involves the parents - it won't stop I don't believe. Just my opinion.

I was trying to say it delicately, but you ARE going to die someday, yes? Dying normally happens when you least expect it and when it's the greatest inconvenience (in other words, it doesn't happen as planned).

You'd be surprised what kids do on their own and without their parent's knowledge. They have been doing it for thousands of years and will continue to do so for thousands to come.

I don't want to go down the road of what does and doesn't work and what laws should be established or excised. it's a fruitless discussion that is better spent in the general chat threads where you'll get good and crazy arguments alike with plenty of opinions and posturing.

 

[Treasured]

Hey E.

We have had this conversation a time or two in the past. As a parent it hurts to watch our child be a victim of bullying. We want to protect our children yet when it comes to being bullied by one of their peers it makes it a sticky situation, you know I have a tendency of going off half cocked and doing so on a minor will only get me a few nights in the "County Hilton"

The best thing R can do is learn to fight back. Once his bully knows he isn't going to take his shit anymore he will leave him alone. You will have to go to the principal's office, remember my whole fiasco after Christmas Break? I listened to how horrible my kid was for giving some kid a black eye and a phone call later from his dad. He did two weeks of detention and that was the end of him ever saying anything to W again.

Hang in there dad, and if you ever need someone to vent to just give me a call!

 

[submit4pleasure]

I was bullied also.

Always the new kid with the weird clothes and the weird accent and always just a little off socially.
I know it's hard to realize at the time, but school is such a small part of your entire life. And real life is so different, try to help him remember that it will get better. I wish your son all the best!

 

[Wordsworth]

You need to make it rhe school's problem. In writing. It is their job to keep the little miscreants that they have in line. These things always happen in spaces that are unsupervised.

In the alternative, you catch each of the bullies alone and you put the ever living fear of God into them. You let them know that if they tattle, if they mention anything about them being threatened that you will deny it then you will cheerfully kidnap them, torture them, murder them and bury them in the wilderness without losing a minutes sleep about it.

 

[MisterDark]

Bottom right of every post has a plus sign "+" Click that and it should turn reddish. Click a few more from other's posts and when you're finished click "quote." That will open a screen with everyone's posts in your reply. Click "preview" to see how your response looks with other's quoted posts until you get familiar with it.

Got it.....er.....I think.......

I was trying to say it delicately, but you ARE going to die someday, yes? Dying normally happens when you least expect it and when it's the greatest inconvenience (in other words, it doesn't happen as planned).

You'd be surprised what kids do on their own and without their parent's knowledge. They have been doing it for thousands of years and will continue to do so for thousands to come.

I don't want to go down the road of what does and doesn't work and what laws should be established or excised. it's a fruitless discussion that is better spent in the general chat threads where you'll get good and crazy arguments alike with plenty of opinions and posturing.

I understand that death is a terrible inconvenience and I know I don't have it scheduled for me in either my electronic or written day planners......however......I never want my kids to think they can't come to me with problems. I know, even though my dad (step-dad) died in 1998, there are still times when I "talk" to him and try my best to think like he would think over a problem.

At best, all the anti-bullying stuff I have seen strikes me as fluff. Until you have lived through it - you really don't know what it does to how you think and act. I know I was very angry for a lot of years and people said I had an anger management problem. Trying to teach him non-violent non-reactionary ways to deal with the situations as they arise so that.....as you say.....he can deal with it on his own.

Hey E.

We have had this conversation a time or two in the past. As a parent it hurts to watch our child be a victim of bullying. We want to protect our children yet when it comes to being bullied by one of their peers it makes it a sticky situation, you know I have a tendency of going off half cocked and doing so on a minor will only get me a few nights in the "County Hilton"

The best thing R can do is learn to fight back. Once his bully knows he isn't going to take his shit anymore he will leave him alone. You will have to go to the principal's office, remember my whole fiasco after Christmas Break? I listened to how horrible my kid was for giving some kid a black eye and a phone call later from his dad. He did two weeks of detention and that was the end of him ever saying anything to W again.

Hang in there dad, and if you ever need someone to vent to just give me a call!

Haven't talked to you or heard from you in a long long time. Yes, I am willing to make a visit or two to the principal, however, in this day and age of zero tolerance, I don't want him to be the kid getting kicked out of school (and really that's what has happened - kid gets bullied - fights back - beats bully - bully tattles - kid that was being bullied is in trouble). Also - because of my size and general look (I'm scary) people assume that I teach my kids to use violence and anger to retaliate. But thank you for your words. Don't be a stranger. Drop me a PM sometime.

Always the new kid with the weird clothes and the weird accent and always just a little off socially.
I know it's hard to realize at the time, but school is such a small part of your entire life. And real life is so different, try to help him remember that it will get better. I wish your son all the best!

This latest happened at day camp - which makes summer break not a lot of fun - he was feeling pretty good about himself this summer until this happened. School he has a much larger circle of friends that actually stand up for him. Plus, I want him to feel good about school and enjoy it while he is there - we all know - life doesn't get easier.

You need to make it rhe school's problem. In writing. It is their job to keep the little miscreants that they have in line. These things always happen in spaces that are unsupervised.

In the alternative, you catch each of the bullies alone and you put the ever living fear of God into them. You let them know that if they tattle, if they mention anything about them being threatened that you will deny it then you will cheerfully kidnap them, torture them, murder them and bury them in the wilderness without losing a minutes sleep about it.

I have caught the bully in one case - took him straight to his father - confronted - and scared the heck out of his father - but - the bullying stopped immediately. I have attempted to get involved with the school's anti-bullying, however, I have been blatantly told that I "LOOK" like a bully - not like someone who was bullied. They are afraid I would scare too many of the parents. Gee......how much bullying do you think would go on if the parents of the bullies were as scared as the kids that are being bullied?

Thank you to all who have responded. It is much appreciated.

 

[LWulf]

Got it.....er.....I think.......

Judging by the results I think you got it down pat.

I understand that death is a terrible inconvenience and I know I don't have it scheduled for me in either my electronic or written day planners......however......I never want my kids to think they can't come to me with problems. I know, even though my dad (step-dad) died in 1998, there are still times when I "talk" to him and try my best to think like he would think over a problem.

At best, all the anti-bullying stuff I have seen strikes me as fluff. Until you have lived through it - you really don't know what it does to how you think and act. I know I was very angry for a lot of years and people said I had an anger management problem. Trying to teach him non-violent non-reactionary ways to deal with the situations as they arise so that.....as you say.....he can deal with it on his own.

My step-father died in 1990 (many years after my teens) and my dad died a couple years ago.

Long story short, when I was a teen, I moved around from place to place, depending on which parent I was with. So I always was the new kid and believe it or not, the other kids always pick on the new kid. Different clothes, different dialect, different look, or just because I didn't walk/talk/or do as they did.
For the most part I lived with my mom. Her method of parenting was more "leave a child to fend for themselves until they complain and then fight their battles for them."

My step-father wasn't much of a father neither. He wasn't a bad man, he just had his own kids to worry about and provided food and shelter for me well enough. My own dad had issues with his own wives and trying to make his own life work, so I didn't "bother" him.

For the most part I had to learn to fend for myself and make up my own rules.

How I know that kids do things on their own is because I've seen kids make up things when they claimed they were bullied or that action was taken against them (usually, this was girls who wanted attention from the guys and lacking that they became vindictive and claimed foul play. In a sense that's bullying).
I've seen where parents had time to talk with their kids when it was convenient for the parent, NOT when the kids were ready to listen. In that event, it's too late, the kid already acted on their own and that's why I said kids don't learn bullying from their parents. In most cases, parents aren't very good parents nowadays because they have too many jobs to try to worry about providing food and shelter, instead of social skills.

I've seen where schools over-react to bullying and all manner of similar issues, were they try to act as a defacto parents. Something I think very lowly of. Parents are the only people who should be parents, though the current times allow them very little time to be proper parents.

I've experienced bullying far into my twenties, and I've seen a 70 year old man "bullying" a twenty year old girl into having sex with him (in that instance, I bullied him back. In response, he brought in his two sons to "bully" me back. I took care of them too).

I've never been a parent, but I have been a surrogate big brother to younger kids when I was a teen. That's when I learned my life's lessons of showing you care, talking when they are ready to listen and and listening when they talk. I don't think the way I learned was the best way, it would have been far easier if I had someone I could have talked to, when I needed it.

I've failed to see a "proper" way of handling bullying, aside from helping your kids deal with it in the best manner they can, but the only thing I know for certain is the moment you step in, your child has learned nothing.

I've seen where three twenty year-olds tried to bully a single guy. White, black gay, stranger, whatever, I don't like bullying and drop everything and step in when I see it. In that case, I didn't do anything except stand with my arms folded behind the single guy.
"What are you gonna do?"
"Nothing, as long as only one of you goes at him. The other two steps in, then I'll take you all out."
People have to learn to stand up for themselves, but it's nice to know someone has your back when things get dicey.

Bullying comes in all shapes and sizes; whether they use their prestige or they use the threat, or the very act, of physical violence.

Your son has to get over the fear. Fear that the bullies are right in their taunting, fear of greater numbers, fear of name calling. Fear. When he gets over that fear, no amount of bullying will ever bother him again.

Bullying is normal and in a sense, it's good. That's why I say it will be around for thousands of years to come.

So, when you say "Until you have lived through it," I think I have lived through plenty enough of it for several generations.

 

[Everyday_Man]

If your kid is getting bullied, what are your options?

School Officials ... other kid's parents (if you are given their contact information) .... police (especially if your kid has been physically assaulted) and if none of that works, you teach your kid how to fight & defend himself/herself. That's it, that's all you got. You might want to look into the last option regardless, for future safety in this MMA crazed world.

These guys on here ... I really really hurt people when I got angry (Okay, hulk), I scared the crap out of someone's father, I stand behind the bullied kid and told the others I'd take them all out if it wasn't a fair fight ... laughable. For some reason, I don't know, call me a skeptic, I don't believe any of that.

You have four pragmatic solutions. Use them.

 

[LWulf]

The problem with most bullies is they have to take down someone else to look and feel better about themselves, usually stemming from some form of inadequacy.

While you can stand up to them easily and prove them the cowards they are for using their laughter to speak for them, the easiest thing to do is ignore them.

 

[lantern88]

Bullying sucks, I don't have any kids so I can't imagine how you must feel but I am sorry that he has to go through this. I would try and have a conversation with the parents.

 

[MisterDark]

Judging by the results I think you got it down pat.

Thanks for your help with that.

My step-father died in 1990 (many years after my teens) and my dad died a couple years ago.

Long story short, when I was a teen, I moved around from place to place, depending on which parent I was with. So I always was the new kid and believe it or not, the other kids always pick on the new kid. Different clothes, different dialect, different look, or just because I didn't walk/talk/or do as they did.
For the most part I lived with my mom. Her method of parenting was more "leave a child to fend for themselves until they complain and then fight their battles for them."

My step-father wasn't much of a father neither. He wasn't a bad man, he just had his own kids to worry about and provided food and shelter for me well enough. My own dad had issues with his own wives and trying to make his own life work, so I didn't "bother" him.

For the most part I had to learn to fend for myself and make up my own rules.

That is really no way for a child to grow up and I applaud the man you've become despite the relative lack of parental involvement. It speaks volumes of your fortitude and resolve.

How I know that kids do things on their own is because I've seen kids make up things when they claimed they were bullied or that action was taken against them (usually, this was girls who wanted attention from the guys and lacking that they became vindictive and claimed foul play. In a sense that's bullying).
I've seen where parents had time to talk with their kids when it was convenient for the parent, NOT when the kids were ready to listen. In that event, it's too late, the kid already acted on their own and that's why I said kids don't learn bullying from their parents. In most cases, parents aren't very good parents nowadays because they have too many jobs to try to worry about providing food and shelter, instead of social skills.

I am lucky in the regard that I am able to work some from home. That means on days that Ryan does not have school he is able to be here at the house and he can come in my office and sit down and talk to me if he wishes or sometimes he manages to pull me away from my work just to "play" whether it is a board or card game or make believe. I have also been careful to learn to listen to see if someone is being harsh or if they just didn't do my boy's bidding. It's tricky but I've learned.

I've seen where schools over-react to bullying and all manner of similar issues, were they try to act as a defacto parents. Something I think very lowly of. Parents are the only people who should be parents, though the current times allow them very little time to be proper parents.

I've experienced bullying far into my twenties, and I've seen a 70 year old man "bullying" a twenty year old girl into having sex with him (in that instance, I bullied him back. In response, he brought in his two sons to "bully" me back. I took care of them too).

I've never been a parent, but I have been a surrogate big brother to younger kids when I was a teen. That's when I learned my life's lessons of showing you care, talking when they are ready to listen and and listening when they talk. I don't think the way I learned was the best way, it would have been far easier if I had someone I could have talked to, when I needed it.

I've failed to see a "proper" way of handling bullying, aside from helping your kids deal with it in the best manner they can, but the only thing I know for certain is the moment you step in, your child has learned nothing.

I've seen where three twenty year-olds tried to bully a single guy. White, black gay, stranger, whatever, I don't like bullying and drop everything and step in when I see it. In that case, I didn't do anything except stand with my arms folded behind the single guy.
"What are you gonna do?"
"Nothing, as long as only one of you goes at him. The other two steps in, then I'll take you all out."
People have to learn to stand up for themselves, but it's nice to know someone has your back when things get dicey.

Bullying comes in all shapes and sizes; whether they use their prestige or they use the threat, or the very act, of physical violence.

Your son has to get over the fear. Fear that the bullies are right in their taunting, fear of greater numbers, fear of name calling. Fear. When he gets over that fear, no amount of bullying will ever bother him again.

Bullying is normal and in a sense, it's good. That's why I say it will be around for thousands of years to come.

So, when you say "Until you have lived through it," I think I have lived through plenty enough of it for several generations.

When I said "until you have lived through it" that was a generic "you" whether you, or myself (yes I was bullied) or anyone reading this thread. Did not mean specific to you. I've actually found that there are way more people that were bullied through their formative years than I would have imagined. Not just the nerds, or outsiders or those that appeared different. Some of the popular people were bullied by people they thought at one point to be friends into making terrible decisions.

I agree that my boy needs to conquer his fear. I also think like you do, that schools go overboard in some aspects with their efforts and not nearly far enough. To ask the bully to stand before the kid he bullied and tell the kid he is sorry and tell the one that was bullied he has to accept it......that's bullshit. The pressure to end the bullying is now on the victim rather than the bully.

 

[MisterDark]

If your kid is getting bullied, what are your options?

School Officials ... other kid's parents (if you are given their contact information) .... police (especially if your kid has been physically assaulted) and if none of that works, you teach your kid how to fight & defend himself/herself. That's it, that's all you got. You might want to look into the last option regardless, for future safety in this MMA crazed world.

These guys on here ... I really really hurt people when I got angry (Okay, hulk), I scared the crap out of someone's father, I stand behind the bullied kid and told the others I'd take them all out if it wasn't a fair fight ... laughable. For some reason, I don't know, call me a skeptic, I don't believe any of that.

You have four pragmatic solutions. Use them.

The options are limited unless an adult "sees" it happening and parental information about students is closely guarded. School officials have a tendency to catch the second perpetrator - usually the one being bullied that has finally had enough.

As for the really really hurt people - that was very true. Blind rage caused me to just lash out - and it continued well into adulthood where it got me in a lot of legal trouble and landed me in jail for assault. I didn't learn constructive ways to manage my rage when I was young. I got in trouble for sending Tim L home with a broken nose in sixth grade and for breaking 2 of Scott H's ribs. Both times, they were the instigators and I don't remember having done anything just getting exceedingly angry.....oh yeah......I do remember the beatings I took in both instances when I got home.

As an adult I've worked as a bouncer and bodyguard....I'm kind of big and I guess a little strong. When I look down at someone around 5-8 or 9.....yeah.....I tend to scare them a little.

The problem with most bullies is they have to take down someone else to look and feel better about themselves, usually stemming from some form of inadequacy.

While you can stand up to them easily and prove them the cowards they are for using their laughter to speak for them, the easiest thing to do is ignore them.

You're right about part of the root causes. I really do appreciate your input and the thought you have put into your posts Wulf. Thank You.

Bullying sucks, I don't have any kids so I can't imagine how you must feel but I am sorry that he has to go through this. I would try and have a conversation with the parents.

You're still young Lantern. Your time to raise a family will come. Like Wulf says - be ready to listen.

 

[Everyday_Man]

The options are limited unless an adult "sees" it happening

Assault is assault, you don't need an adult witness to file charges. It might be word against word, or perhaps there will be physical evidence, but the police will take a report, they will contact the bully for a statement and now you have it on record. Do it as often as you must, once the problem is addressed, people will notice and a persistent parent and child cannot be ignored forever. Do as others have done, local TV and social media.

The limited options excuse sounds like a person who doesn't want to go through any hassles .... what is your child's protection worth?

There is nothing limited about my suggestions so long as a parent you are willing to follow through and not let the first hurdle cause you to turn around and go back home.

That's about it from me.

 

[pfflyerhot]

... I have attempted to get involved with the school's anti-bullying, however, I have been blatantly told that I "LOOK" like a bully - not like someone who was bullied. They are afraid I would scare too many of the parents...

This pisses me off. So what if they think you LOOK like a bully; What's that supposed to mean? What's a bully look like—I know what they act like, but I'm pretty sure they don't all have the same look. And, what I know about you MisterDark, is that you are not a bully, and that you care deeply for Ryan. Whoever said that to you... well, that person is a bully... and you can tell 'em I said so. I would think a big, strapping, nice man such as yourself would be a most welcome addition to an anti-bullying organization, especially given that you experienced bullying yourself as a child. That's such crap. Grrrrrr.

 

[xanderra]

Being the youngest in my house with a different father who you could say spoiled me I got picked on a lot at home and at school for being fat. Kids are cruel mean little shits I had to stop caring and just be myself.

It is something that is a problem but has happen since the beginning of civilization. We will see when world peace comes around.

 

[submit4pleasure]

I don't know if this

Has been suggested, but, unfortunately, when my son was being bullied by high school kids on his way home from grade school (a 3rd grader getting shoved and threatened), I received zero help from the schools. I ended up "hiring" a neighbor who went to school with the bullies to have him and a friend beat the bullies up. They left my son alone after that. Best $50 I ever spent! I still talk to that helpful neighbor, who's now almost 30, when he mows his mom's yard.

 

[domforsubslut]

sorry for changing the topic

Nice name here. We should chat sometime.

Sam

PS: All the best to your son bro.

 

[ElliottEden]

I always found movies to be a good way to teach a lesson to kids.

Let me suggest one starring James Caan. It was titled The Killer Elite and was directed by Sam Peckinpah.

Just as a lesson that a man does not have to be a prime physical specimen to be dangerous.

Later on, when he understands subtlety then introduce Stephen Hawking.

 

[Paul_Chance]

D. All of the above.

-Long conversations with your son on how to handle bullying from the POV of the target of the bullying, conversations that are consistent with your values and the values of your family.

-Notify the organization (school) in writing and request a meeting with the principal, dean, guidance counselor, and their legal representative.

-If you do not have a relationship with the parents of the other child (or children), request that the school provide you with that information and that they attend the meeting as well.

Try and approach it as a problem to be solved together, not as a confrontation.

It's a delicate path, but one that has to be walked.