What to do when you lose a friend???

[Beebeeblue]

I lost a dear friend today. She had a heart attack at work and died shortly after. Our whole store is in mourning. How do you cope? What do you say when you see the family? Its sad to know that you can talk to someone one minute and not 10 minutes later they are dying. Im posting this poem, that I recently received in an email from a coworker.

When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me.

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

 

[Nicole]

Oh Bee Bee I am so very sorry.

Unfortunantly Death is something that we all deal with in different ways, what one may do doesn't always work for the next.

Be there for each other and I always find it helps me to talk to someone that I truly trust, just get it off your chest and have a bloody good cry.

Heart Attack is so very cruel and my thoughts are not only with you, but your friends family too. Give them lots of hugs and a shoulder to lean/cry on.

Bee Bee Good luck and know that we are here for you

 

[kathy stl]

such sadness

Your co-workers poem was very touching.

I have no idea. I have a girlfriend (a term at least as meaningful to me as lover or husband) who has simply saved my life and maybe my soul. Were I to lose her I have no idea how I would cope. This doesn't help you except to say that I am sure there are a thousand women out here who wish they could ease your pain.

Grab your blanket, your pillow, your lover, or whatever...and cry your way through it. I will cry my tears for you tonight. Bless you. Never give up.

 

[teresafannin]

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. There really is no one way to deal with this kind of loss. The best advice I can give is to be there for each other, family & friends can be a great support to each other. Just knowing that someone shares your feelings can help so much. If it wasn't for the support of family & friends, I would not have survived the death of my son last year. Everyone will have different stages in the grief process & there is no right way to mourn. Don't be afraid to talk about the good memories you have & share them with others. Sharing all the funny stories about my son has gotten all of us through some really bad times. I will keep you all in my thoughts, I know hard these next few days will be.

 

[Rosebud]

Bee Bee hon...what i appreciated most when my father died was when people came up to me they were telling me how he touched thier life...So when you see the family do this

I am so sorry that he/she has left us and if you need anything let me know...i just wanted to tell you how he/she touched my life and then tell them something uplifting or even funny that this person did...
when someone loses someone close to them it is best to remember the good things...makes the healing process easier.

 

[Always]

oh, gods... first cry tears of sadness, for them, that they will not see you as you become the great person you're destined to. then cry for yourself, cause you'll miss her like hell. then cry for the others that loved her, and then realize that she wouldn't want you to cry, just be happy that she was happy and then remember all the good times you had together. then cry tears of happiness, that where she is there is no pain, no hate, only love and friendship, and know she is still with you, even if her body is not.

if you listen very hard in your dreams you can hear her as she says farewell.

 

[Home Office]

?

L*** Who? E-Mail me at Fern****** Beach ...@ my hotmail acct

 

[Beebeeblue]

Thank you all for your replies. Having a recent death in my family(May) didnt help matters much either. And to you, Home Office....check your damn mail. Im sorry, but life has been crazy around work. You understand dont you buddy? I MISS YOU THERE!!!! And tell your spouse I send the same msg.

Keep me in your thots, and thanks again all.

 

[Naked Hunny]

I lost a coworker on June 18, 1999. It was extremely hard to deal with. I was close to his whole family we all worked together. What made it harder was he was in a car accident right outside our place of employment. We saw the accident. We saw our friend lying on the ground covered in blood. That was the first time in the 25 years our manager worked with that company that he demanded to our owner that we close down. We were all a mess. I was 7 months pregnant at the time. When I was standing there while they were working on my friend I had trouble breathing and then pain. I had 4 EMTs with me and I kept yelling at them to help my friend and to leave me alone. Ill never forget what the one EMT said to me. "You may have lost your friend today but are you ready to lose your child as well?" Well that was that and I calmed myself enough to go home. Sorry got into a tangent it happens once in a while.

 

[Cheyenne]

My best friend on earth had chest pain yesterday and they thought it was pneumonia (he was blaming me for getting him sick, for some reason.) But when he went in to see the doctor, it turned out not to be pneumonia, but his heart. He had an EKG done. This afternoon, he called me from his car on his way for more tests. I could hear the fear in his voice. The doctor called him in because his EKG from yesterday was abnormal. My friend had another whole batch of tests today, and they still aren't sure what is wrong, exactly. He is supposed to "relax" over the weekend and go for yet more tests next week. I think that at least means it can't be a life or death situation right now.

I thought of this thread when I spoke to him and told him how glad I was that he called the doc to check out his chest pain. Even if he was only calling because he thought the pain was in his lung and I'd given him pneumonia when I was sick. That call to the doc may be what leads to catching and fixing whatever is wrong with his heart now, before he drops over from a heart attack.

I hope I never have to go through what you are going through, beebeeblue. Today was hard enough waiting to hear test results. I can't imagine what I'd do if I actually lost him.