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Interesting topic ... especially since I have a secret I haven't been able to tell anyone. I've been having sex with my married sister in law for about a year now. I truly wish there was someone I could tell since it's such an exciting and taboo subject. I fantasized about being with her since I met her. Then once she moved out and got married I figured there was no chance I would ever be with her. It's funny how things work out.
Well I don't have a significant other to worry about devastating, but I've never told anyone in RL this and never will--I used to "borrow" my brother's porn and one day when I was going to swipe some I saw some of my panties in his closet and knowing he was getting off to my panties (perhaps dirty) really turns me on.
My O/H doesn't know about my underwear fetish. She doesn't know about the numerous times I've swiped her worn knickers and used them for my own pleasure. She would be pissed if she ever found out.
She also doesn't know about the amount of times I've used a butt plug or dildo on myself.