thomas1965
Mr
- Joined
- Dec 30, 2012
- Posts
- 286
* He accepts and keeps boundaries
* He respects and cares for his slave
What are your ideas ?
* He respects and cares for his slave
What are your ideas ?
What makes a good Master ?
- Thread starter thomas1965
- Start date
EmilyMiller
Good men did nothing
- Joined
- Aug 13, 2022
- Posts
- 11,602
Thanks for the invitation to contribute and let’s see how long it is before I get flamed.
So, submission is not my life. I don’t view my purpose as serving someone’s pleasure. I am not submissive at all outside of a sexual context and only sometimes submissive within a sexual context. I have occasionally played the domme as well with guys, but never girls.
Most of my sex is outside of a BDSM paradigm, but some of it isn’t, particularly in the past. I have done quite a lot of BDSM, both 1-1 (with girls and boys) and quite a lot of group BDSM with me and a bunch of guys. The last is not something I have done for around four years however. This mostly involved me being restrained, but also sometimes punished (crops, paddles, clamps etc. nothing too crazy).
So, modifying the question to be “what does this one particular individual think?”, then I only do BDSM with people I know and trust implicitly. The only exception is sometimes in group sex where someone I don’t know was introduced to the group based on the recommendation of someone I did know and trust and when there were enough people I knew and trusted to look after me.
So my most frequent “masters” were my regular fuck buddy, whose house I shared (separate rooms, but a lot of “visiting”) and my [still] best friend, another girl; a mistress I guess. That’s my pattern. These are people i had regular sex with and with whom I am still friendly, though we no longer fuck. I have switched with the guy, not the girl.
Nowadays I’m in a monogamous relationship and BDSM is confined to the occasional use of ropes or cuffs and some spanking / paddling. I still love my clamps however.
In a BDSM session, I want to know that I will be pushed to my limits of pain or ecstasy or denial by someone who knows what I can take and what they are doing, but that I’m not going to get seriously hurt. I want to be sure it’s a game for everyone and that stop (or whatever word / signal has been agreed) means stop and stop right now.
So I want a master / mistress to be a friend who gets off on controlling me and pleasuring me through pain, denial or just sex, but doesn’t want to control my life and respects that it’s just roles we are playing.
I know this is not everyone’s view of how things should be in D/s, but it’s mine.
Em
L
Lady2020
Guest
It's not all about him.
Acktion
GrumpyOldDude
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2011
- Posts
- 4,392
I don't believe such a thing exists.
No, really.
Ok, so there are certain things I think most, if not all, of us could get together and decide are just plain bad. Death and dismemberment come to mind. I'm pretty sure I could come up with some others if I wasn't swooning from an allergic reaction to a brown recluse bite. But, yeah. I think there are things that make for a bad dominant or a bad submissive.
But, what makes a Dominant good? That, I think, is purely subjective and at the whim of the two (or more) actually playing in that sandbox. And what one might think is "no sort of Dominant at all!" another might find exactly fitting for what they were looking for.
No, really.
Ok, so there are certain things I think most, if not all, of us could get together and decide are just plain bad. Death and dismemberment come to mind. I'm pretty sure I could come up with some others if I wasn't swooning from an allergic reaction to a brown recluse bite. But, yeah. I think there are things that make for a bad dominant or a bad submissive.
But, what makes a Dominant good? That, I think, is purely subjective and at the whim of the two (or more) actually playing in that sandbox. And what one might think is "no sort of Dominant at all!" another might find exactly fitting for what they were looking for.
