What is the worst...

[blondi84]

reaction that a bi or lesbian or gay friend could have if we told them and they were not interested?

 

[blondi84]

The only reason I ask, is so that I (we) can get over our fear of just being more direct about the flirting. Also so we can prepare ourselves for rejection if (God forbid) it should happen. Hmm, wait, God would probably be all for rejection in a homosexual relationship. Well, I don't know. Anyway. What would you do if a friend flirted with you, but you were just not attracted?

 

[blondi84]

I can see some of you looking!

 

[pa-guy]

dont bring god into the discussion

the worst that can ever happen is the person kills you. Now the most likely worst thing is it ruins the friendship. But honestly, I think that depends on how deep your feelings beyond friendship go.

 

[LotusFlower24]

LMAO...

I think the reaction is going to vary drastically based on the person your directing your affections at.. I think some safe flirting to feel them out (not up) will help determine if they will hate you for saying anything.

I know people who would NEVER speak to me again and I know people would be fine with just saying, not my thing...

Personaly right now I'd probably jump em ;o) But if I wasn't interested I'd just say, I'm flattered but just not interested.

Worst case, they yell and walk out on you calling you a pervert....

 

[blondi84]

LMAO...

I think the reaction is going to vary drastically based on the person your directing your affections at.. I think some safe flirting to feel them out (not up) will help determine if they will hate you for saying anything.

I know people who would NEVER speak to me again and I know people would be fine with just saying, not my thing...

Personaly right now I'd probably jump em ;o) But if I wasn't interested I'd just say, I'm flattered but just not interested.

Worst case, they yell and walk out on you calling you a pervert....

Ok, so I dont think she would call me a pervert. She knows I am a pervert anyway so what would be the point in her telling me! It would really suprise me if she killed me, and suprise me slightly less if she said I am just not interested! I guess I will have to post here if she says that for advice on how to get past the following akwardness.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Fear of rejection is real for all of us. Yet sometimes the fear of being alone is even more real.

I guess it's a matter of which scares you more...

 

[blondi84]

Well I personally don't have that fear because I still have my husband. I am just curious about girls, one in particular.

 

[Mikijl Dragon]

OK, this may or may not help give you another perspective but I think it may be fitting. When I was in college I repressed any feeling I had towards men as my family just wouldn't understand. I put those feeling away and focused on the feelings I had for women. Well during a time I was in a long term relationship with a girl I met a guy I became fast friends with. I never thought he was gay or was even into me (in retrospect I see it all very clearly) so we hung out a lot and one day when we were getting snookered at my house he asked if he could suck on my ear. I being very much repressed at the time told him no. This repeated its self every time he got drunk. I being with my girlfriend refused and didn't think twice. I still refused as I was in a relationship and I didn't realize my sexuality yet.

Alas I never took him up on his offer although I wish I had. I lost touch with him when I moved away and it wasn't till several years afterwards that I met the wonderful woman I now call my wife who helped me feel comfortable enough explore the bi side of my sexuality.

The moral of the story is ask but don't push. If they are interested they will respond but not right away. Sometimes it takes some of us a little longer to realize who we are.

Or if all else fails just pretend you were drunk when you ask