What is the most phallic aircraft in history?

[JohnnieJohnson]

Say, chaps, Sailor rang me up to say there's this smashing web site where they're discussing aircraft! He didn't say it was that kind of site – I say!

Well, as long as I'm here, and given the nature of this site, I may as well have a go. So here's a list others may want to add to or comment upon that is appropriate for the nature of this place.

Cheerio, lads and lasses. I'm off to take a squirt at Jerry; they're warming up my Spit' right now . . .

Most phallic aircraft.

DO 217
JU 88
FW 219
B-36
B-29
B-26


PS. BTW, some may call me a Philistine, but my favorite Spits' were the Griffin-engined marks, especially those with the teardrop canopy. My, if we'd had those in 1940 we'd have given Jerry a go! To be fair, if Jerry had had TA 152s and ME 262s in 1940, well, we might be sprechen zie deutch in old Blightie right now!

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f224/spitfiregriffin/do217_08.jpg
DO 217​

 

[Guest]

.....

 

[Colleen Thomas]

The Japanese Ohka, rocket bombs are pretty Phallic. I guess they are technically rocket planes, although you could also call them the first guided, fire and forget missiles.

 

[CopyCarver]

Say, chaps, Sailor rang me up to say there's this smashing web site where they're discussing aircraft! He didn't say it was that kind of site – I say!

Well, as long as I'm here, and given the nature of this site, I may as well have a go. So here's a list others may want to add to or comment upon that is appropriate for the nature of this place.

Cheerio, lads and lasses. I'm off to take a squirt at Jerry; they're warming up my Spit' right now . . .

Most phallic aircraft.

DO 217
JU 88
FW 219
B-36
B-29
B-26


PS. BTW, some may call me a Philistine, but my favorite Spits' were the Griffin-engined marks, especially those with the teardrop canopy. My, if we'd had those in 1940 we'd have given Jerry a go! To be fair, if Jerry had had TA 152s and ME 262s in 1940, well, we might be speaking deutch in old Blightie right now!

Just a guess, but the Warthog probably won't get too many votes.

 

[zeb1094]

I would have to say the B-47 that was the strategic bomber just before the B-52 which is also rather phallic.

 

[JohnnieJohnson]

Okha indeed!

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f224/spitfiregriffin/okha.jpg
Yokosuka MXY 7 Ohka II​

I say, lass, that's a good one! My, some of the ladies get a bit excited when they see this, if you know what I mean! A few of the chaps in the squadron might also - yes, those chaps . . .

Speaking of that, nasty buggers those Imperial Japanese, what? Not at all cricket, sending chaps up with no chance to return to base.

Johnnie

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Well, the dick I'd most like to have would look something like the Blackbird, capable of Mach 3.5.

The thing went so fast that the entire plane expanded by up to a foot in flight. I'd be like that too.


http://www.mfgl.li/bildergalerie/bilder/flieger_echt/jet22_g.jpg

 

[Kev H]

Well, the dick I'd most like to have would look something like the Blackbird, capable of Mach 3.5.

The thing went so fast that the entire plane expanded by up to a foot in flight. I'd be like that too.


http://www.mfgl.li/bildergalerie/bilder/flieger_echt/jet22_g.jpg

So masochistic! That looks like a torture device.

 

[rgraham666]

I'm afraid I don't think in those terms at all.

I pick my aircraft on their graceful beauty and ,uhm, responsiveness. With occasional exceptions made for their absolute utility at certain acts.

I just reread your book The History of Air Fighting, Air Vice Marshall. A stellar piece of work that is. Well done.

 

[JohnnieJohnson]

Well, the dick I'd most like to have would look something like the Blackbird, capable of Mach 3.5.

I say, your big chap appears to one of those who flies both ways, if you catch my drift . . .

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f224/spitfiregriffin/17968refuel.jpg
SR 71 engaged in mid-flight buggery​

 

[JohnnieJohnson]

I'm afraid I don't think in those terms at all.

I pick my aircraft on their graceful beauty and ,uhm, responsiveness. With occasional exceptions made for their absolute utility at certain acts.

I just reread your book The History of Air Fighting, Air Vice Marshall. A stellar piece of work that is. Well done.

Jolly good show! Something we'll need a lot more of if we're going to beat Jerry - people purchasing and reading my book, that is.

You sound like a true lady lover, old boy. I imagine you'll agree that nothing could look finer than the elegant lines of the Spitfire's elliptical wing, and the sensual full-bodied "chest" of the under-cowling. You'll appreciate that no one knows better than I just how responsive she could be.

I say, those kind of thoughts have me ready to scramble right now!

 

[rgraham666]

Flying a Spit has been one of my fantasies since I was about nine years old.

It is a lovely aircraft. Short legs though. But at my age, I haven't the stamina I used to either.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f224/spitfiregriffin/okha.jpg
Yokosuka MXY 7 Ohka II​

I say, lass, that's a good one! My, some of the ladies get a bit excited when they see this, if you know what I mean! A few of the chaps in the squadron might also - yes, those chaps . . .

Speaking of that, nasty buggers those Imperial Japanese, what? Not at all cricket, sending chaps up with no chance to return to base.

Johnnie

The IJN were nasty. But you have to remember when they were facing us on even terms, like in the solomons, they proved to be just as deadly. As far as the US goes, the biggest ass whipping we ever took was off Savo Island at the hands of the IJN.

The ohka was a weapon of desperation. You didn't see them appear until after Leyte fell. By then, the Japanese principal striking force was a surface fleet that could neither engage or hide in the face of overwhelming carrier based air power.

So from our view the one way trips wren't sporting. To be fair, from their view, our subs merrily decimating their merchant marine wasn't sporting either.

At the end of the day, with few exceptions, fighting war in a "civilized' manner was the exception not the rul in WWII. I think perhaps the only place it was really fought in a "gentlemanly" manner was in North africa. Professional British Army. Professional German Afrika Corps. Mutual respect for each other as soldiers and as men.

In the pacific, it was about as hatefilled and brutish as war can get.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Hey! That's my Blackbird getting buggered! It's not only gay, it's gay and interracial!

I feel so unmanned! Like such a drone.

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f224/spitfiregriffin/17968refuel.jpg
SR 71 engaged in mid-flight buggery​

 

[Guest]

.....

 

[JohnnieJohnson]

The IJN were nasty. But you have to remember when they were facing us on even terms, like in the solomons, they proved to be just as deadly. As far as the US goes, the biggest ass whipping we ever took was off Savo Island at the hands of the IJN.

I say, this lady knows her history!

Speaking of phallic tools of war and the battle of Savo Island, the nasty item that did most of the damage in that circus and others around the the same time was this ugly fellow:

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f224/spitfiregriffin/japanese_torpedo_lg.jpg​

Your chaps referred to it as the "long lance torpedo," or at least your writers did. I suspect those on the receiving end had a different term. Unlike the torpedos used by you Yanks at that time, when this fellow hit his target it went "bang." Bad show all around, that.

It's worth noting that the body of water between the islands of Guadalcanal and Savo aquired an ominous new name in those autumn months of 1942: "Ironbottom Sound," referring to the number of ships dispatched to the seabed there. That's the name it's known by on official maps to this day.

I hear there's a decent pub on your base here - Ab's place? Think I'll drop in and raise a glass in memory of absent freinds, and of your navy chaps who showed bulldog tenacity despite taking a drubbing from old Tojo and Yamamato in those days. Bless 'em all indeed!

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I say, this lady knows her history!

Speaking of phallic tools of war and the battle of Savo Island, the nasty item that did most of the damage in that circus and others around the the same time was this ugly fellow:

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f224/spitfiregriffin/japanese_torpedo_lg.jpg​

Your chaps referred to it as the "long lance torpedo," or at least your writers did. I suspect those on the receiving end had a different term. Unlike the torpedos used by you Yanks at that time, when this fellow hit his target it went "bang." Bad show all around, that.

It's worth noting that the body of water between the islands of Guadalcanal and Savo aquired an ominous new name in those autumn months of 1942: "Ironbottom Sound," referring to the number of ships dispatched to the seabed there. That's the name it's known by on official maps to this day.

I hear there's a decent pub on your base here - Ab's place? Think I'll drop in and raise a glass in memory of absent freinds, and of your navy chaps who showed bulldog tenacity despite taking a drubbing from old Tojo and Yamamato in those days. Bless 'em all indeed!

The type 93 or long lance, was head and shoulders above anything in any nation's inventory. It ran on pure oxygen, which gave it superior range and left a much smaller wake, so it was harder to spot the trail and react. One is creditied with blowing up a destoryer after being launced from miles away. The warhed was powerful, over 1000 pounds and the detonator reilable.

Combined with inovative tactics and flexible torpedo doctrine, it was probably the most devestating japanese weapon of the war. Prettymuch guarenteed a kill on anything smaller than a destroyer, and could even destroy cruisers most of the time.

We didn't have anything that was even a pale immitation until 1943 and even after we started using torpex in our warheads, it was still the premire torpedo by a long shot.

 

[JohnnieJohnson]

The type 93 or long lance, was head and shoulders above anything in any nation's inventory. It ran on pure oxygen, which gave it superior range and left a much smaller wake, so it was harder to spot the trail and react. One is creditied with blowing up a destoryer after being launced from miles away. The warhed was powerful, over 1000 pounds and the detonator reilable.

Combined with inovative tactics and flexible torpedo doctrine, it was probably the most devestating japanese weapon of the war. Prettymuch guarenteed a kill on anything smaller than a destroyer, and could even destroy cruisers most of the time.

We didn't have anything that was even a pale immitation until 1943 and even after we started using torpex in our warheads, it was still the premire torpedo by a long shot.

I say, clearly the lady knows her stuff. Very professional for a writer in your line of work - one never knows where one may find just the right phallic imagery. Let that be a lesson to all you other writer chaps!

One other point of difference between their torpedoes and yours in those days: As I said above, when they hit, their fellows went "bang." Too often the yank ones did not.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I say, clearly the lady keeps at her bedside a copy of Janes All the World's Topedoes, 1943 edition. Very professional for a writer in your line of work - one never knows where one may find just the right phallic imagery. Let that be a lesson to all you other writer chaps!

One other point of difference between their torpedoes and yours in those days: As I said above, when they hit, their fellows went "bang." Too often the yank ones did not.

The American torpedos suffered from several defects. IN fact, it was the fact they were so defective that impaired efforts to fix them. They didn't hold depth well, often poposing or diving, circle ran with alarming frequencey, the contact explodere was so fragile a solid hit would break the mechanism before it fired the expolsive charge, the magnetic type often blew up well short of the critical blast radious and the acuostic type often failed to explode even when it hit something.One Maru returned to Japan with a dud still sticking out the side and at Midway, torpedos from the Nautilis hit the hulk of Kaga and broke in half, saving some japanese seamen who hung onto the floating part until rescue ships arrived.

Frankly, next to the shoshone, it was the single worst pice of equiptment America ever burderned her fighting men with.On the upside, once the faults were corrected and the torpex warheads were introduced, we saw a drastic increase in our fighting efficnecy. Particularly, our submarine force started to record really astounding sucess.

 

[rgraham666]

I've the autobiography of the guy who created the Japanese torpedo doctrine. Very interesting man.

He fought through the whole war. His destroyer, although one of the older types, was hardly touched. His final battle of the war was when his light cruiser accompanied the Yamato on its last trip to Okinowa.

Often, using the Long Lance, the Japanese didn't need to fire their guns, as in the Battle of Tassaforonga Strait. And the one where the Japanese bum fucked the ABDA force, the name of which escapes me at the moment.

It wasn't only the Americans that had problems with torpedoes. In spite of their success, the Germans had a great deal as well. A lot more Allied ships would have been sunk early in the war if the German torpedoes had been good.

Lucky for us, they weren't.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I've the autobiography of the guy who created the Japanese torpedo doctrine. Very interesting man.

He fought through the whole war. His destroyer, although one of the older types, was hardly touched. His final battle of the war was when his light cruiser accompanied the Yamato on its last trip to Okinowa.

Often, using the Long Lance, the Japanese didn't need to fire their guns, as in the Battle of Tassaforonga Strait. And the one where the Japanese bum fucked the ABDA force, the name of which escapes me at the moment.

It wasn't only the Americans that had problems with torpedoes. In spite of their success, the Germans had a great deal as well. A lot more Allied ships would have been sunk early in the war if the German torpedoes had been good.

Lucky for us, they weren't.

Commander Hata In Yagachi

Off tassoforonga, it wasn't an ABDA force. It was the USS Navy. They sank Northhanpton, and hurt 3 others, pnsacola and new Oeleans IIRC. Not sure on the other.

 

[Andreina]

boys and their toys....

 

[rgraham666]

I'd hardly call Colleen a boy.

The ABDA force I mentioned Colleen was destroyed in the Battle of The Java Sea.

I'm such a lazy bastard. Took me five seconds to Google that.

Anyhow, the start of WWII in both theatres was a classic illustration of Sun Tzu's dictum, "If you know yourself and know your opponent you shall win all your battles."

Unfortunately, the Axis only really understood the combat side of the equation. They completely overlooked the logistical side. And so lost the war.

Lucky for us.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

I'd hardly call Colleen a boy.

The ABDA force I mentioned Colleen was destroyed in the Battle of The Java Sea.

I'm such a lazy bastard. Took me five seconds to Google that.

Anyhow, the start of WWII in both theatres was a classic illustration of Sun Tzu's dictum, "If you know yourself and know your opponent you shall win all your battles."

Unfortunately, the Axis only really understood the combat side of the equation. They completely overlooked the logistical side. And so lost the war.

Lucky for us.

I think on the Japanese side, it was really more a totaly misunderstanding of the character of their enemy. They honestly believed if they hit hard enough, the U.S. would negotiate. When nomura & his staff were exchanged for Grew and his staff, at the reception, Tojo took the special negotior whose name slips my mind aside and asked him to please end the war as swiftly as possible. The poor guy was shocked at how naive Tojo was and just told him it's easier to start a war than end one.

The milatarists in japan were honestly befuddled when they were so obviously and routinely kicking our tails that we didn't sue for peace. They had no concept that when they woke the sleeping Giant she wouldn't wake up groggy and dispirited. She woke up in a rage and that rage didn't burn itself out until Japan was a starving, beaten and utterly militarily imoptent third rate power.

 

[rgraham666]

I think on the Japanese side, it was really more a totaly misunderstanding of the character of their enemy. They honestly believed if they hit hard enough, the U.S. would negotiate. When nomura & his staff were exchanged for Grew and his staff, at the reception, Tojo took the special negotior whose name slips my mind aside and asked him to please end the war as swiftly as possible. The poor guy was shocked at how naive Tojo was and just told him it's easier to start a war than end one.

The milatarists in japan were honestly befuddled when they were so obviously and routinely kicking our tails that we didn't sue for peace. They had no concept that when they woke the sleeping Giant she wouldn't wake up groggy and dispirited. She woke up in a rage and that rage didn't burn itself out until Japan was a starving, beaten and utterly militarily imoptent third rate power.

Yamamoto knew. But Tojo and the rest were not willing to listen.

Not surprising as they had gotten their own way for so long.