What is straight?

[Baskin Robbins]

I've been with my girl for 22 years and married for nearly 10.

We were HS and college Sweethearts.

We broke up for 6 years, then got married a year later.

I am now VERY Sexually adventurous and she isn't. I play with my ass and FUCK myself with a realistic silicone cock...

I TRULY want her to FUCK me with a strapon...

She is ok with anal sex, but does not want to do anything that appears gay even though I'm asking for it!

I'm asking her to fuck me! No anal on her part... Unless she wants it...

I'M NOT GAY!!!!

What is her prob?

 

[FurryFury]

Maybe it's just not her thing? Women often need to have their brains turned on before accepting an idea and running with it. Many women have a hard time turning off the endless lists of mundane shit they have to do for others or work to enjoy sex at all. Men rarely understand this.

When their man suddenly becomes obsessed with something and pushes them for it, something maybe that seems strange or perverse to them, they get scared or outraged.The fact that she's sticking with you and not threatening you with leaving or throwing you out is good.

Now if you keep pushing she might someday add you to her list of shit to do. Believe me it won't be any good that way. Men, once they decide they want something often, in my experience, feel entitled to "it." It does tend to make them very pushy. That does not play well with many women. They often underestimate their wives stress and over estimate how much they do to help as well as romantic gestures.

What you have to do is have great patience. You have to be open and caring. You have to know her well enough to pick and choose how and when to communicate these sorts of things with her. You have to find ways to show her in her language of love, whatever that may be, that you value, respect and like her as well as find her sexy and so on with no expectation of immediate sex!!!

If you are patient, communicate well, you may get her to think and feel romantic. Then you might eventually get what you want from her. Or it just might not ever be her thing. You never know. *shrugs*

If that's the case you have to decide if you love her enough to deal with it alone, have an affair, or just ignore this great thing you think you want so much. That is some hard stuff to deal with no matter which way you go. The need can burn at your soul. So can losing her or infidelity. I'll tell you this, role playing it out online can actually fan the flames of your desire.

I personally think it helps to find out what if anything, she would secretly like and then exchange tit for tat maybe at a hotel room away from everything and everyone else. Women tend to be very fair minded in my opinion and like to give back equal or greater value to their lovers. Yeah, yeah, I know there are a lot of guys these days who think women are just conniving bitches but I do not see many of those chicks in my part of the world. I usually see girls who are doing their best for everyone around them and mostly ignoring themselves. I don't think it's just around me either.

Why do you think every damn Cosmo has a front page article about how to please him??? It's NUTS!!! Most guys will be pleased if you just say yes and spread em. (Whichever "em" they wish to fuck that is.) Women are statistically the ones that have a hard time being pleased. *grr* Anyway, I'm up too late and should probably be quiet now.

Oh btw? Dildo's and butt plugs are so not the same sensation as a real cock. Trust me on that one so if that is what you are really wishing for, think about that.

Good luck, good night and sweet dreams,

Fury

 

[BitterIchor]

Getting mad at your partner for not wanting to do something in the bedroom is not something I'd recommend. My ex wanted to to a bunch of stuff I wasn't comfortable with. Finally, I went through with one of the things and I didn't feel good about it afterwards at all. We are not together anymore.

If she doesn't want to do it, don't push her. I'm sorry you're not getting to explore your sexuality, but your wife is under no obligation to do sexually related things she's not comfortable with for you.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

Getting mad at your partner for not wanting to do something in the bedroom is not something I'd recommend. My ex wanted to to a bunch of stuff I wasn't comfortable with. Finally, I went through with one of the things and I didn't feel good about it afterwards at all. We are not together anymore.

If she doesn't want to do it, don't push her. I'm sorry you're not getting to explore your sexuality, but your wife is under no obligation to do sexually related things she's not comfortable with for you.

I agree entirely. Nice post, BitterIchor.

 

[dizzylia]

I agree entirely. Nice post, BitterIchor.

Totally. Sex is so much about expression and mututal enjoyment. When the expression is forced and the enjoyment is one sided, I think it starts to turn into something else that just isn't very pretty.

This doesn't make your desires less important, Baskin, but I agree with BitterIchor, this isn't something you should force. Maybe ask her why she isn't comfortable with it. Maybe there's a happy medium you could both agree on. But agree on it before you get to the bedroom.

Good luck.

 

[Baskin Robbins]

I'm going to try to be patient...

All help is welcome!

 

[dizzylia]

I'm going to try to be patient...

All help is welcome!

There's usually a reason people like or dislike something. Maybe once you get to the bottom of it, things will make a little more sense, and you can both find a path towards something that will work for the two of you.

 

[Mari J]

Given that she doesn't want to do it, don't get hung up on her use of the word "gay." She's probably using it as a quick way to discredit what you're asking for. It's just a quick code word for bad, for "Don't go there."

As long as homosexuality is demonized, words such as gay will still be used as a handy way to knock something down.

So, protesting that you aren't gay isn't going to convince her. She's not really afraid that you're gay. She's probably just trying to make you uncomfortable with your own desire, so you'll stop asking her to do it.

 

[Samuelx]

A straight line is the shortest distance between two points, according to my mathematics teacher.