What is it with ex-husbands?

[cloudy]

My ex-husband and I mostly get along great. We talk fairly often, are able to co-parent very effectively, even laugh, joke, the whole works.

Tonight, though, bless his heart, he made me laugh more than he planned, I think. He starts asking me how things are going, I say, "fine," and then goes on to extoll the joys of his married life with the psycho bitch from hell.

I honestly couldn't help it, I cracked up.

You see, our son had just told me, not three days ago, that his dad and the psycho have argued every night straight for the last three weeks - he's counted.

Bless him, he's a good guy, he really is, but he should know better than to try to lie to me like that. Didn't work while we were married, and it certainly doesn't work with me now.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

My ex-husband and I get along great, as long as we don't have to talk to each other. LOL

 

[S-Des]

Bless him, he's a good guy, he really is, but he should know better than to try to lie to me like that. Didn't work while we were married, and it certainly doesn't work with me now.

Ugh, I could tell you stories about Kiten's ex that would curl your toes. He's lucky we don't live in the same state or this situation would have been straightened out by now. As for my ex, it's not that she lies, she's just unreasonable about most things. It's frustrating to be paying $100 a month for karate (on top of high child support), then be ordered to spend my last weekend of the summer with my daughter by taking her to a 4 hour karate class, only to have to listen to her cry about not wanting to go. Grrr, I wish this was YIM so I could do the hair pulling-out emote.

 

[matriarch]

My ex and I really do get along great. Honest.

We are good friends, regularly keep in touch by e-mail and phone, always call in to see him on our monthly visits to the oldies (called in last weekend with a birthday present for him), and when he's down this way to catch up with friends, or for cycling events, we (meaning me and Min) always meet up and go out for dinner with him, eldest sprog and his wife.

He regularly calls in to visit my oldies, he made my mum cry by telling her, when we split up, that if she didn't mind, he'd carry on calling them mum and dad, because as his parents were both dead, they were the only mum and dad he had. Sweet.

He's a great guy, I never swayed from that view. It's the being a guy thing that was the problem.

Being divorced doesn't have to mean conflict.

 

[rgraham666]

I haven't seen my ex since the divorce.

It's made things much simpler.

 

[angelicminx]

My ex and I get along fine, as long as we don't talk about money and his wife is in a good mood.

 

[impressive]

I'm here at the beach with my ex -- giving the kids a vacation. We're both working our asses off to make everything seamless & magical for them. This will be the last such trip, though. I can only take so much "togetherness" with someone I just don't want to spend time with.

It doesn't help that I keep catching him taking pictures of me for that little Shrine d'Imp he has in his bedroom.

Still, I'm thankful that things aren't acrimonious.

 

[Recidiva]

Had a moment like that recently. My daughter is thoroughly irresponsible. To the n'th degree here.

He has no clue. He kept saying she'd help her after she graduated with getting a car, getting into some sort of college somewhere that will take her.

He's so frustrated after two months of trying to deal with her that he's on the phone ranting, "She's got to LEARN!"

I had to laugh. Yeah, and this is what I dealt with for 18 years while she was in my care. Which is WHY she gets no help from me with car or college. You poor, poor, poor baby.

 

[Dar~]

I get along with my soon to be ex fine so long as we don't discuss anything relating to our relationship. I am sure that time and distance will help that, but GEEZ, I get sick of hearing him spout off about marriage and God.

 

[kendo1]

I feel left out.

I don't have an Ex.

 

[SeaCat]

I feel left out.

I don't have an Ex.

Kendo,

Be happy. You could have to deal with an ex like I do. I'm just so happy I have a wife that understands.

Cat

 

[SlickTony]

I haven't heard from my ex in YEARS and YEARS and that's the way (uh-huh uh-huh) I LIKE it (uh-huh uh-huh).

S-Des, can't you get your atty to renegotiate that bit about the karate? She should be paying for her own martial arts lessons. And the kid shouldn't have to put up with 4 hours of it if she doesn't like it. My husband takes me and our son to Taekwondo tournaments twice a year, and he comes to all our testings to take pictures and even help hold boards for board breaking, but we're not exes.

 

[_Lynn_]

I get along with my soon to be ex fine so long as we don't discuss anything relating to our relationship. I am sure that time and distance will help that, but GEEZ, I get sick of hearing him spout off about marriage and God.

I get along fine with my soon to be ex as well.
As long as he doesn't ask for sex.

 

[cloudy]

I haven't heard from my ex in YEARS and YEARS and that's the way (uh-huh uh-huh) I LIKE it (uh-huh uh-huh).

Okay, that made me LOL.

 

[Dar~]

Okay, that made me LOL.

Me too, I love that we think the same way...

 

[S-Des]

S-Des, can't you get your atty to renegotiate that bit about the karate? She should be paying for her own martial arts lessons. And the kid shouldn't have to put up with 4 hours of it if she doesn't like it. My husband takes me and our son to Taekwondo tournaments twice a year, and he comes to all our testings to take pictures and even help hold boards for board breaking, but we're not exes.

Nope. I went back to my lawyer to ask, since the karate is going to run me over $2000 the first year (and when she started it, I was making about $20,000), and he told me that in our county, the judges consider $5000 or more to be excessive (usually that's gymnastics, private athletic lessons, or travel sports). I was shocked that I could already be giving over half my income to her, then have her add another $2k to it, but that's just the way it is here. It pisses me off mostly because I took lessons from the teacher's father and what he's doing is bullshit. None of his students (including the black belts) are worth a shit and he promotes everyone in the school every 8 weeks (with the customary testing charge of course ). My daughter has been doing this a year, is a higher belt than I was in the same style, and doesn't actually know anything about martial arts. It's a complete scam, and there's nothing I can do.

 

[Vermilion]

Nope. I went back to my lawyer to ask, since the karate is going to run me over $2000 the first year (and when she started it, I was making about $20,000), and he told me that in our county, the judges consider $5000 or more to be excessive (usually that's gymnastics, private athletic lessons, or travel sports). I was shocked that I could already be giving over half my income to her, then have her add another $2k to it, but that's just the way it is here. It pisses me off mostly because I took lessons from the teacher's father and what he's doing is bullshit. None of his students (including the black belts) are worth a shit and he promotes everyone in the school every 8 weeks (with the customary testing charge of course ). My daughter has been doing this a year, is a higher belt than I was in the same style, and doesn't actually know anything about martial arts. It's a complete scam, and there's nothing I can do.

It seems really sad that she's being made to do something she doesn;t enjoy. Is it worth talking to her and seeing if there's something she'd prefer to do? (like dance or music, maybe) - perhaps her mother would be more willing to let her stop karate if there was an alternative in place already. You probably wouldn;t feel quite so bad about the money if you knew it was going towards something your little girl actually *enjoys* and has some chance of improving/succeeding in...

Good Luck
x
V

 

[S-Des]

It seems really sad that she's being made to do something she doesn;t enjoy. Is it worth talking to her and seeing if there's something she'd prefer to do? (like dance or music, maybe) - perhaps her mother would be more willing to let her stop karate if there was an alternative in place already. You probably wouldn;t feel quite so bad about the money if you knew it was going towards something your little girl actually *enjoys* and has some chance of improving/succeeding in...

Good Luck
x
V

I don't want to threadjack, but yes, she wants to cheerlead, dance, or play a sport. No, her mother doesn't care, she wants my daughter to take karate (partially because she has this belief that it'll help her defend herself against predators and partially because she is taking it at the same time). I never feel bad about spending money on my daughter, but to have it wasted on a con, have it interfere with my time with her, and have it be something she doesn't want to do is infuriating.

Thanks for your suggestions, but I dated the anti-christ . . . I have to live with the results.