What is BDSM (Am I throwing in a chewed out bone here?)

[DutchDom]

What is BDSM?

BD = Bondage & Discipline
D/s = Dominance & submission
SM = Sadism & Masochism

Grinnn…. "Have I done My homework?"

I’m Dutch, and in Dutch I’ve seen SM translated into "Seks en Macht", meaning "Sex and Power/Control", witch comes closer to the way I feel and think about SM than Sadism and Masochism.

And by My stating: "the way I feel and think about…", W/we get right to where I want to go with this.

Put 1000 BDSM-ers in a room together, ask them what BDSM means to them, and you’ll get 1000 different answers.

Sometimes the differences between BDSM-practitioners are so big that firm discussions arise. I’ve even seen this derail into outright hostility. Kindergarten behavior like: "I’m right" and ‘no you’re not, I am’, is not unheard of. (And sometimes It’s just to much fun, not to get into that ).

My conclusion? No one is right, and everyone is. (Are you still getting this?). I am…

BDSM is a "game" of complementing contradictions, and extremes. Pain versus Pleasure, Control versus being controlled, Sadism versus Masochism, Dominance versus submission and Humiliation versus the thrill of shame. (Hope I haven’t used the term "game" to loosely for A/anyone’s taste in here ).

Some of U/us want/need to (or think we do) Control/feel controlled, 24 hrs. a day, 7 days a week, and for some, a weekly (or even a monthly) session is enough. There are your absolute "pain junk’s", Brutes, Tender, yet very controlling/demanding Masters/Mistresses, Masters of Humiliation and their receiving ends. You name it, and W/we’ve got it. Just for the fun of it, I’m even gonna throw in the old "Dominant masochist". And to complicate matters even more, introduce the "sadistic submissive".

So what is BDSM?

Anyone want my opinion? (Don’t worry… Y/you’re gonna get it anyway). BDSM is a gathering bin. From it’s most extreme form of "edge play" onto "So damn soft it seems vanilla", and everything in-between.

Adding up all the facts (and subtracting all the nonsense ), the only relevant question seems to be: "What does BDSM mean to Y/you/Me?".

Rounding up with a final brain crusher… Ever noticed how Y/your needs and desires seem to have changed over the years? Is that growth or limitation?



Just some of My thoughts to have some fun with… DutchDom out.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Welcome to the board...great topic choice which never seems it can be discussed too much. Have to agree it is what it means to those individuals involved in each arrangement or relationship as opposed to what others want to think it should mean.

Catalina

 

[mithragoddess]

Chewed bone has been Chewed

Yes I actually started a thread its labeled 'Im a little vague...' and theres been a lot of posts on it that are very detailed on what BDSM is all about. its under mithragoddess so go do a search for it and everything will be answered.

 

[Marquis]

BDSM is a state of mind dude!

Its', like, all in the attitude man.

 

[laurel-marie]

Rounding up with a final brain crusher… Ever noticed how Y/your needs and desires seem to have changed over the years? Is that growth or limitation?

I can only answer for me....which is growth.
My limitations are shrinking.
I am learning more of myself.
Deeper feelings and deeper thinking.

I never tire of trying to define BDSM.
Thank you for the thinking.

 

[DutchDom]

Thanks for posting Y/y all...

Welcome to the board...

Catalina, thanks for the welcome.
It does seem that way, doesn’t it

Chewed bone hase been chewed... Yes I actually started a thread its labeled 'Im a little vague...'

I somehow had a feeling that this would have been discussed already. Could be that I was simply to lazy to look for it. Or perhaps My vanity made Me want a thread of My own. Or I don’t think the bone has been chewed completely. Or…
Thanks for the pointer, and rest assure that I’ll have a look around in your thread. (What the heck, perhaps I’ll even post some off my own thoughts in it ).
Grinnn… I really like to chew

BDSM is a state of mind dude!

Its', like, all in the attitude man.

Totally agree with you there Sir.
But thanks for confirming

I can only answer for me....which is growth.
My limitations are shrinking.
I am learning more of myself.
Deeper feelings and deeper thinking.

I never tire of trying to define BDSM.
Thank you for the thinking.

Congratz with your growth. It is commendable.
Congratz with the shrunken limitations. They build confidence.
I applaud learning more of self. The/a goal of life?
I applaud deeper feeling and deeper learning. If kept balanced..

How much of your defining BDSM is your defining of self?
you’re welcome, it’s My pleasure.

 

[laurel-marie]

How much of your defining BDSM is your defining of self?
you’re welcome, it’s My pleasure.

Good question.
For me...they are intermingled....defining BDSM is how one sees it personally, and since it is a personal view, it is in fact defining that person.
(Did that make any sense what-so-ever?) So, to answer your question...I think it has alot to do with defining self.

By the way, welcome to the board

 

[MsHighHeels]

For me BDSM is simply a power exchange. Whether it be in Bondage, disipline, s/m, pain/pleasure and there is a consensual play between a Dom/Top and a sub/bottom.
What ever your kink, perversion, fetish, play is, as long as the two of you are consenting and having fun, THAT is BDSM.

MHH

 

[schmerzgarten]

*pops up from the peanut gallery*

Oft it seems to me, a rather extreme psychological and physical eroticism for those with no quilt about not giving fetish money to feed the starving in the world? *ducks* For me, it is a rather extreme form of recreation, one that fascinates my mind even more than my body, though fetishism caters to both. Further, for me it not necessarily be limited to the bedroom, not at all, but by the same token it does not define my existence either. It is simply endlessly fascinating, filled with wonderfully unique people, both endearing and not so much so, but nonetheless fascinating. That said, my own personal proclivities tend toward the S/M more than the D/s, though if I don't feel the s toward the D, I'd rather play mini-golf. I can only offer, base upon what experience I've had, is the following: It seems consistently a mistake to define oneself by other's definitions; rather, the happiest BDSM couples seem to define their dynamic distinctly independent of others in the lifestyle.

cheers, sw.