What Is an American?

[steelcock]

The following was said to be written by a dentist in Australia.
An American

"You probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American. So I just thought I would write to let them know what an American is, so they would know when they found one.

An American is English, French, Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Australian, Iranian, Asian, Arab, Pakistani, or Afghan. An American may also be a Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.

An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses. An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

An American is from the most prosperous land in the history of the world. The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God given right of each man and woman to the pursuit of happiness.

An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need. When Afghanistan was overrun by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country. As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan. The best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best athletes.

Americans welcome the best, but they also welcome the least. The national symbol of America welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America. Some of them were working in the Twin Towers in the morning of September 11, earning a better life for their families. [I've been told that the people in the Towers were from at least 30, and maybe many more, other countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.]

So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and every bloodthirsty tyrant in the history of the world. But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.

So look around you. You may find more Americans in your land than you thought were there. One day they will rise up and overthrow the old, ignorant, tired tyrants that trouble too many lands. Then those lands, too, will join the community of free and prosperous nations. And America will welcome them!

 

[metal_minx]

me

 

[sch00lteacher]

http://www.galleryonbroadway.com/images/artists/sluder/john-wayne.jpg

 

[sch00lteacher]

http://www.speakerbooking.com/images/Clint%20Eastwood.jpg

 

[sch00lteacher]

http://www.ironworks.com/pictures/ice-t2.jpg

 

[steelcock]

Another point of view

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN

By George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it.

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American. I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.

I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July. I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass through 4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be enlightened.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to. My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor. I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.

I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and Paying, paying, paying? I've never owned a slave, or was a slave. I didn't wander forty years in the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you!

So, shut-the-Hell-up already. I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running from them. I think the cops have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are. I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause. These people should be targets.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents. I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's sex, and this applies even if you are President of the United States.

And what the hell is going on with gas prices.again?

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American. If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know. We need our country back!

 

[marksgirl]

amen. George rocks!

 

[Hamletmaschine]

The following was said to be written by a dentist in Australia....

Crevecoeur and de Tocqueville said it first--and better--nearly 200 years ago.

 

[steelcock]

Re: Re: What Is an American?

Crevecoeur and de Tocqueville said it first--and better--nearly 200 years ago.

Maybe so, but this is more now and to me means more for today.

 

[427cobra]

what is an american.....one tough motherfucker!

 

[#1tankcomander]

What is an American???

Someone who can take 62 tons of steel and ram it up your ass!!!

Hello Osama.......

 

[katori]

P.J. O'Rourke

Eventually he got, as the Europeans always do, to the part about "Your country's never been invaded." ... "You don't know the horror, the suffering. You think war is..."

I snapped

"A John Wayne movie," I said. "That's what you were going to say, wasn't it? We think war is a John Wayne movie. We think life is a John Wayne movie - with good guys and bad guys, as simple as that. Well you know something, Mister Limey Poofter? You're right. And let me tell you who the bad guys are. They're us. WE BE BAD.

"We're the baddest-assed sons of bitches that ever jogged in Reeboks. We're three-quarters grizzly bear and two-thirds car wreck and descended from a stock-market crash on our mother's side. You take your Germany, France, Spain, roll them all together and it wouldn't give us room to park our cars. We're the big boys, Jack, the original, giant, economy-sized, new and improved butt kickers of all time. When we snort coke in Houston, people lose their hats in the Cap d'Antibes. And we've got an American Express card credit limit higher than your piss-ant metric numbers go.

"You say our country's ever been invaded? You're right, little buddy. Because I'd like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who'd have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get out hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying 'Cheerio.' Hell can't hold our sock-hops. We walk taller, talk louder, spit further, fuck longer, and buy more things than you know the names of. I'd rather be a junkie in New York than king, queen, and jack of all you Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and shit them out before lunch."

Of course, the guy should have punched me. But this was Europe. He just smiled his shabby, superior European smile. (God, don't these people have dentists?)

 

[katori]

I mean, nothing against Europe, I'd actually like to live in England or Scotland for a while, but it's apropos.

 

[427cobra]

Re: P.J. O'Rourke

Eventually he got, as the Europeans always do, to the part about "Your country's never been invaded." ... "You don't know the horror, the suffering. You think war is..."

I snapped

"A John Wayne movie," I said. "That's what you were going to say, wasn't it? We think war is a John Wayne movie. We think life is a John Wayne movie - with good guys and bad guys, as simple as that. Well you know something, Mister Limey Poofter? You're right. And let me tell you who the bad guys are. They're us. WE BE BAD.

"We're the baddest-assed sons of bitches that ever jogged in Reeboks. We're three-quarters grizzly bear and two-thirds car wreck and descended from a stock-market crash on our mother's side. You take your Germany, France, Spain, roll them all together and it wouldn't give us room to park our cars. We're the big boys, Jack, the original, giant, economy-sized, new and improved butt kickers of all time. When we snort coke in Houston, people lose their hats in the Cap d'Antibes. And we've got an American Express card credit limit higher than your piss-ant metric numbers go.

"You say our country's ever been invaded? You're right, little buddy. Because I'd like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who'd have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get out hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying 'Cheerio.' Hell can't hold our sock-hops. We walk taller, talk louder, spit further, fuck longer, and buy more things than you know the names of. I'd rather be a junkie in New York than king, queen, and jack of all you Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and shit them out before lunch."

Of course, the guy should have punched me. But this was Europe. He just smiled his shabby, superior European smile. (God, don't these people have dentists?)

amen brother!

 

[steelcock]

Re: P.J. O'Rourke

Eventually he got, as the Europeans always do, to the part about "Your country's never been invaded." ... "You don't know the horror, the suffering. You think war is..."

I snapped

"A John Wayne movie," I said. "That's what you were going to say, wasn't it? We think war is a John Wayne movie. We think life is a John Wayne movie - with good guys and bad guys, as simple as that. Well you know something, Mister Limey Poofter? You're right. And let me tell you who the bad guys are. They're us. WE BE BAD.

"We're the baddest-assed sons of bitches that ever jogged in Reeboks. We're three-quarters grizzly bear and two-thirds car wreck and descended from a stock-market crash on our mother's side. You take your Germany, France, Spain, roll them all together and it wouldn't give us room to park our cars. We're the big boys, Jack, the original, giant, economy-sized, new and improved butt kickers of all time. When we snort coke in Houston, people lose their hats in the Cap d'Antibes. And we've got an American Express card credit limit higher than your piss-ant metric numbers go.

"You say our country's ever been invaded? You're right, little buddy. Because I'd like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who'd have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get out hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying 'Cheerio.' Hell can't hold our sock-hops. We walk taller, talk louder, spit further, fuck longer, and buy more things than you know the names of. I'd rather be a junkie in New York than king, queen, and jack of all you Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and shit them out before lunch."

Of course, the guy should have punched me. But this was Europe. He just smiled his shabby, superior European smile. (God, don't these people have dentists?)

Uh! Barmaid, I think I'll have whatever he's drinkin'. Shit! He's ten feet tall and bulletproof.

 

[teddybear4play]

Re: Re: What Is an American?

Crevecoeur and de Tocqueville said it first--and better--nearly 200 years ago.

Indeed. Crevécoeur was one of the few things I liked about my American Lit Seminar class, taught by someone so P.C. that he skipped guys like Poe, Hawthorne, and de Tocqueville for authors who would be incidental footnotes in literary history had they not broken some color or gender line.

"Here individuals of all nations are melted into a new race of men, whose labours and posterity will one day cause great changes in the world. Americans are the western pilgrims, who are carrying along with them that great mass of arts, sciences, vigour, and industry which began long since in the east; they will finish the great circle. The Americans were once scattered all over Europe; here they are incorporated into one of the finest systems of population which has ever appeared, and which will hereafter become distinct by the power of the different climates they inhabit. The American ought therefore to love this country much better than that wherein either he or his forefathers were born. Here the rewards of his industry follow with equal steps the progress of his labour; his labour is founded on the basis of nature, self-interest; can it want a stronger allurement? Wives and children, who before in vain demanded of him a morsel of bread, now, fat and frolicsome, gladly help their father to clear those fields whence exuberant crops are to arise to feed and to clothe them all; without any part being claimed, either by a despotic prince, a rich abbot, or a mighty lord. I lord religion demands but little of him; a small voluntary salary to the minister, and gratitude to God; can he refuse these? The American is a new man, who acts upon new principles; he must therefore entertain new ideas, and form new opinions. From involuntary idleness, servile dependence, penury, and useless labour, he has passed to toils of a very different nature, rewarded by ample subsistence. --This is an American."

from What is an American? by Hector St. John de Crévecouer(1782)

TB4p

 

[steelcock]

While I agree that

Crévecouer was a very eloquent writer back in 1782 we were such a young and struggling nation we were doing good just to stay afloat.

Today, we have rendered aid to almost every country in the world. We have shown the good neighbor policy to be the backbone of our moral fiber. Sure! We've had a few FUBARs. We've had leaders who couldn't keep their pants on, leaders who had families that were the butt of jokes. Even leaders who broke the laws on which our country is based.

Still, when a nation that is struggling against tyranny asks for our help we have never said no. When a small country is under attack by a much bigger more powerful nation we have always sent our young men to fight and die in the name of freedom.

For these acts of kindness we have been repaid by having our flag burned in the streets of the very country we gave aid to. We've had Americans visiting some of these countries kidnapped, tortured and killed.

911 Tuesday was worse than just an attack upon American soil. It was an insult. We gave to Afganistan when they were in need. and this was our payment.

Yes. I agree that Crévecouer was eloquent of pen, but I think the dentist's writing was much more accurate.

 

[Rick DeVille]

Re: Another point of view

YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN

By George Carlin

.....................................................

George used to be a leftist hippie (Snot, the Universal cement)

What the fuck happened!

Time to trash his records

 

[Azwed]

Re: Re: Another point of view

George used to be a leftist hippie (Snot, the Universal cement)

What the fuck happened!

Time to trash his records

Cause Carlin never wrote it thats why.

People just think he wrote it cause they are stupid.

http://www.snopes2.com/language/document/carlin.htm

http://www.georgecarlin.com/georgecarlin/home/bogus.html

 

[steelcock]

Where did you get the idea that

George Carlin was ever a hippie? From his records?

I'll bet you a;so think that the WWF is real, that Roy Rogers fired real bullets at the bad guy and that Superman could really fly.

Let me ask you this. What is a hippie?

Hippiedom is a state of mind. It is a choice. A way of life.

The choice is, in the words of Timothy Leary to, "turn on, tune in and drop out."

George Carlin did two of those things when he turned on. Of that there is no doubt in anyone's mind. He also tuned in to what was happening around him, but as far as dropping out of society and living a carefree lifestyle no.

Carlin was and still is an entertainer. He used the schtick of being a hippie to make money. I'm quite certain that he never in his life played a club in Vegas free of charge, nor did he give his records away. He produced them and sold them to earn his daily bread just as surely as Lee Iaccocca got paid a handsome salary by Chrysler.

Carlin was and in my mind still is a great, politicly incorrect humorist. He is a businessman. He is even a good character actor on the big screen in several movies, but he does none of these simply for the sake of being a carefree hippie. He does it for cash just the same as you and I go out and earn our living.

Don't ditch the LP's though. They might oneday be worth more than you paid for them. I collect old records and believe me when I say that some are quite valuable. Carlin's records, if they are in good shape would probably be worth anywhere between $20.00 & $50.00. Check Goldmine catalog for exact value.

 

[steelcock]

Just so you guys know

I am not anti-George Carlin. I love his work, especially some of his older stuff like the Hippy Dippy Weatherman.

Here is something I got in my e-mail a while back called:

The Wisdom of George Carlin

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards. NAIVE

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Mormons do not recognize each other in the liquor store.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

I loved these.

 

[Azwed]

I like george too but he didn't write The Bad American thing and I don't think anyone knows who did.

 

[teddybear4play]

Well, it's just like the "Wear sunscreen" speech that everyone thought Kurt Vonnegut gave to graduates at M.I.T. . . . it wasn't him.

TB4p