what is a lesbian Daddy?

[DVS]

Let me take a stab at this. My girl doesn't like men. She isn't afraid of them though. She was seriously neglected by her alcoholic parents while growing up. I'd wanted to try the Daddy role instead of just Dominant (I won't say Domme because I see myself as Dom) and slipped nicely into the Daddy role. It turned into a big mind fuck that night and she fell in love with the role. I think the issue is that she is getting the nurturing she needs from what she see's to be a male counterpart without actually being with a male. If that makes sense?

Actually, that makes perfect sense to me.

I know someone who is a lesbian, but not a daddy. She works with me and would rather be considered a male in the job than a female. In the job, we all wear the same uniform and she wears the male uniform, instead of the female. There isn't much difference, but it is significant enough that she wants that choice.

She hasn't taken the male role completely, but she does do so when she is among her lesbian friends. The job does cause her to be aware of the issues some could have (those paying our wages).

She has a male name she uses and even has a male wardrobe, too. Her male name is Harley, and she plans to purchase a Harley cycle this summer. She has the leathers with all the trimmings and she is very happy with her choice.

She frequents a gay/lesbian bar where they hold "King for a day" contests where everybody can dress up as the gender they prefer and put on a little act, i.e. singing or acting out a skit as the gender of choice. Week night contestants get tips (money, as well as hints to improve their attire, etc.) from the crowd and the winner comes back on Saturday for the finals.

This can turn out to be quite profitable, as well as fun. Harley invests in male suits taylored to fit her so her female form doesn't show, and she even has a mustache. When she's all dressed up, Harley comes out, not only in how she looks but how she talks and acts. It's a very interesting thing to see. Harley sometimes wears a strap-on during the show, and "whips it out" (to use Harley's own words) when the skit calls for it.

Even the males who dress as females go into such detail for these shows, it is very difficult to tell. And, of course, that's the whole idea.

Although this doesn't go as far as the daddy role does, it is interesting how people can be different and still find someone who they can relate to. It just goes to show how diverse this world truly is. Don't ever say you are alone in how you are, that just isn't true.

 

[Etoile]

Sounds like Harley's a pretty standard drag king.

 

[DVS]

Sounds like Harley's a pretty standard drag king.

Exactly. She really enjoys being Harley, and I can tell she would prefer being Harley on the job, too, if she could.

Actually, when I first started this job, because she trys to look so much like a male, I thought she was a male. And, because of her feminine voice, I thought she was a young male of about 19.

When I found out she was a woman in her 30s, I thought she would be offended that I initially thought she was a male. But she reacted just the opposite. She smiled, and said "no, I like it, just fine." Only after getting to know her more has she told me about Harley and the shows.

I've noticed the "drag king" or "king for a day" shows are a regular event in gay/lesbian bars. At least they are here in the midwest. And, quite special event they are, too.

 

[snowy ciara]

Interesting bumpy thing

 

[Etoile]

Thanks, ciara! http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/flirt.gif

 

[BlueSugar]

::shakes head:: woah.

ok. so...

any gender can be a Daddy, but the title is mostly for butch lesbians and/or tops in a lesbian relationship?

(i loath titles bc of this... our sexualities and preferences are just as bad as the music world ... so so so so diverse that a key change could mean a different style of music altogether and a new isle to walk down...)

I got the drag king bit, but then wouldn't a drag queen like to be considered the "mommy"? or is that a term that was just coined in this thread bc normality and rationalization was being tried out.

I was confused, but then I remembered relationships are supposed to be nurturing and fullfilling, may it be a bdsm, vanilla, or a glbt union.... and it all made sense after I took that step back.

Could being a Daddy be one of the steps towards surgical procedures if they so choose to go in that direction, or is it more of a drag assumed role etc of gender bending?

(no offence, some of that might be a little off because the terms are foreign-ish to me... but I'm trying!)
I'm not in a place anymore where I can see or talk about this openly except on lit - thanks again for being my window !

 

[snowy ciara]

::shakes head:: woah.

ok. so...

any gender can be a Daddy, but the title is mostly for butch lesbians and/or tops in a lesbian relationship?

!

Er, this is a new concept to me, too, but I don't think that's quite it. I think the point is that lesbian Doms can be daddies too. I don't think the daddy title is reserved for lesbians. It's not about the penis, cause love is a many gendered thing. (with thanks to Allison Bechdel for the "love is a many gendered thing" quote)

PS You're welcome Etoile! Very cool topic.

 

[DVS]

Could being a Daddy be one of the steps towards surgical procedures if they so choose to go in that direction, or is it more of a drag assumed role etc of gender bending?

I wouldn't guess it is always the way to go, but Harley is going to go through with the sex change operation.

I think it's a major step, going under the knife. And because of that, some might not choose to go that far. And, strap-ons are getting better and better, although they are still non-feeling appendages.

What bothers me about this, is the physical parts. When a man has a sex change, I can see the operation steps as being fairly clear. But, when a woman wants a man's physical parts, where does the necessary tissue come from?

 

[snowy ciara]

It's called phalloplasty. It seems they usually use tissue from the forearm or belly to make the shaft and use penile implants (usually rods of some sort) to make it get erect when needed. I admit, I googled. I found lots of links on this page: FtM gender reassignment surgery

 

[DVS]

It's called phalloplasty. It seems they usually use tissue from the forearm or belly to make the shaft and use penile implants (usually rods of some sort) to make it get erect when needed. I admit, I googled. I found lots of links on this page: FtM gender reassignment surgery

So...I guess they'll never need Viagra!

 

[BlueSugar]

I wouldn't guess it is always the way to go, but Harley is going to go through with the sex change operation.

I think it's a major step, going under the knife. And because of that, some might not choose to go that far. And, strap-ons are getting better and better, although they are still non-feeling appendages.

What bothers me about this, is the physical parts. When a man has a sex change, I can see the operation steps as being fairly clear. But, when a woman wants a man's physical parts, where does the necessary tissue come from?

I only asked because I know that one of the steps is to live as the gender that they feel is more themselves, and it seems that naturally the Daddy will come out in some
thanks for the answers

 

[Etoile]

any gender can be a Daddy, but the title is mostly for butch lesbians and/or tops in a lesbian relationship?

When applied to a woman, it usually refers to a butch dyke top. But when applied to a man, it can refer to a straight man or a butch gay man!

I got the drag king bit, but then wouldn't a drag queen like to be considered the "mommy"? or is that a term that was just coined in this thread bc normality and rationalization was being tried out.

Hmmmm...I suppose it's very possible! I've never actually asked any of drag queens I know about that, but I could definitely see it being the case.

Could being a Daddy be one of the steps towards surgical procedures if they so choose to go in that direction, or is it more of a drag assumed role etc of gender bending?

It's a role more than a step, really. If a transman (FTM) has it in him to be a Daddy, then he could very well be a Daddy before transition. But if he just doesn't fit the Daddy persona, then it won't be part of his transition.


You asked great questions!

I also want to thank ciara and DVS for their answers to that post.

 

[snowy ciara]

np Etoile.. That was my official brain flash of the day.

 

[BlueSugar]

When applied to a woman, it usually refers to a butch dyke top. But when applied to a man, it can refer to a straight man or a butch gay man!


Hmmmm...I suppose it's very possible! I've never actually asked any of drag queens I know about that, but I could definitely see it being the case.


It's a role more than a step, really. If a transman (FTM) has it in him to be a Daddy, then he could very well be a Daddy before transition. But if he just doesn't fit the Daddy persona, then it won't be part of his transition.


You asked great questions!

I also want to thank ciara and DVS for their answers to that post.

::does a dance:: do I get a star on my chart?

hehe

 

[shy slave]

Thanks WD

Amazing thread,

I was curious, confused, thoughtful, confused and now I think I understand all in the space of a few minutes.

It never ceases to amaze me how people like Dusty and Etoile are so willing to share such personal aspects of their lives in order to explain things to the rest of us.

Thank You the boards would be a lonely and confusing at times without you both
XXXXXXXX (to share )

 

[Etoile]

Re: Thanks WD

Amazing thread,

I was curious, confused, thoughtful, confused and now I think I understand all in the space of a few minutes.

It never ceases to amaze me how people like Dusty and Etoile are so willing to share such personal aspects of their lives in order to explain things to the rest of us.

Thank You the boards would be a lonely and confusing at times without you both
XXXXXXXX (to share )

Thank you so much, shy slave! WD started the thread, but I'm grateful to have a place to explain what my life is like and thereby give insight into what is possible in this world. There are millions of people out there who will never understand that life can be like this, but I am happy to share my story and bring another facet to the diamond that is our society.