what if she really IS crazy?

[MallardGoodbody]

i have a buddy who without question has been through some ill scenarios.
a divorce from a guy who relegated her to the guest room when he would bring home other women. eventually declaring that she could leave if she wanted to, but that the master bedroom was gonna be used by him and his new woman. eventually she was able to afford to leave. but this kinda thing was in the line of a whole lot of abuses at the hands of many people in her life. (including some horrors commited by her father)
and all the while they kept telling her that she was crazy and goofy and many other negative tags. i know that this was all done as a way to steal power away from her and keep her in a dominated position.
well later on in her life, we reconnected after the divorce (just as friends, nothing sexual) and i was her sounding board.
i've been very supportive of her and i totally think that her ex is a cancer.
but here's the thing.
the more and more i listen to her, the more and more i think..."wow, this chick is crazy"
i'm not coming at it from the place that her ex was, but she just says some things that make the hippiest of spiritualists and vibehealers sound like republican senators.
my guess is that after everything she has been through and a lifetime of being told that she is crazy, maybe she actually has kinda lost it a little.
she is in no danger of hurting anybody, herself or other wise, but every-so-often she'll say something kinda ludicrous and then ask my opinion. and the honest answer would be, "well...i love you and i'll always been here for you , but what you are saying has absolutely no connection to any established reality."

so the question is how do i tell her that she's not the crazy that her abusers told her that she was in the past, but that she is currently spouting a whole lot of next level crazy?

 

[jomar]

The sex should be amazing when you man up.

 

[GimpyIntellect]

If you want to see a crazy chick, you should watch the last episode of 48 Hours.

 

[loquere]

College humour. If Your Girlfriend Was Actually Crazy

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QGHjjrWIiyM

 

[pensivepoet]

She sounds like she's a member of The Rainbow Family
In which case, RUN!!!

 

[Saint Peter]

She is.

 

[neci]

"crazy", non harmful people, make great targets for abusers. they are easier to control, and people are less likely to see through their mental illness and into the abuse. if you care for her, encourage her to seek out the help she needs, like a therapist, while providing support in the form of a respectful friendship/relationship. she very well may not be all there, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't be respected, loved and cared for. if you are willing to be that for her, just realize you will definitely be the adult in the relationship, and she will not be able to meet certain mental needs you may have.

 

[neci]

i have a buddy who without question has been through some ill scenarios.
a divorce from a guy who relegated her to the guest room when he would bring home other women. eventually declaring that she could leave if she wanted to, but that the master bedroom was gonna be used by him and his new woman. eventually she was able to afford to leave. but this kinda thing was in the line of a whole lot of abuses at the hands of many people in her life. (including some horrors commited by her father)
and all the while they kept telling her that she was crazy and goofy and many other negative tags. i know that this was all done as a way to steal power away from her and keep her in a dominated position.
well later on in her life, we reconnected after the divorce (just as friends, nothing sexual) and i was her sounding board.
i've been very supportive of her and i totally think that her ex is a cancer.
but here's the thing.
the more and more i listen to her, the more and more i think..."wow, this chick is crazy"
i'm not coming at it from the place that her ex was, but she just says some things that make the hippiest of spiritualists and vibehealers sound like republican senators.
my guess is that after everything she has been through and a lifetime of being told that she is crazy, maybe she actually has kinda lost it a little.
she is in no danger of hurting anybody, herself or other wise, but every-so-often she'll say something kinda ludicrous and then ask my opinion. and the honest answer would be, "well...i love you and i'll always been here for you , but what you are saying has absolutely no connection to any established reality."

so the question is how do i tell her that she's not the crazy that her abusers told her that she was in the past, but that she is currently spouting a whole lot of next level crazy?

and this as well.

 

[hashtag45]

The sex should be amazing when you man up.

lol…
To the OP: the real question you should ask yourself is:. Why is she telling you all these things in the first place? Women talk about these things only with their girlfriends.

 

[jaF0]

If you want to see a crazy chick, ....

... I can point you to one down the road. Nuttier than a Planter's factory.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I plan to address all this in my thread:

HEY KIDS! BUILD A REAL HOLOCAUST AT HOME FOR THE SCHOOL SCIENCE FAIR.

 

[Lancecastor]

Crazy is a subjective, relative term.

My guess is the OP saved a wounded bird, then realized he didn't dig her after all.

Have enough sex with her to compensate you for your good deed, then move her along.

Secretly video the sex in case she gets wierd after you shuffle her out of the deck.

 

[jaF0]

Crazy is a subjective, relative term.

Not in the 'person' I mentioned. Textbook case of absolutely fucking nuts, stark-raving lunatic. Multiple personalities, speaking in tongues, seeing and hearing things, hallucinations, the whole nine yards.

 

[Que]

The sex should be amazing when you man up.

Word.

 

[OldJourno]

I had something similar to that happen in junior high.
A girl named Denise had the locker next to mine. We weren't close but we talked occasionally.
At the end of one day I noticed Denise had her hand up against the side of her face. She showed me the beginnings of a whitehead zit on her right cheek. She said it was painful.
The next morning it was much worse. Denise was kind of weepy when I saw her, and she moved her hand to show me the whitehead was a little larger, but the swelling was almost the size of half a golf ball. She told me it was really sore.
I was surprised she went to school. Hell, I was surprised she was talking to me. We usually never got past "hello."
About that time the class clown came down the hall. Denise was sort of like an eye magnet with the big whitehead, red eyes and loud sniffles, and the class clown zeroed in on her.
He half-shouted "acne!" and pushed right at the whitehead with his thumb and forefinger. I was less than a foot away when the force of his push broke the thin skin over the zit and a stream of white goo shot from Denise's face at just slightly less than the speed of light.
The class clown ended up with about half of the zit gunk in his mouth and the rest all around it. He was puking vigorously when Mr. Hartpick grabbed him by the ear and escorted him to the office.
Denise turned into a slut.
I find the similarities between our two stories simply astonishing.

 

[hashtag45]

so the question is how do i tell her that she's not the crazy that her abusers told her that she was in the past, but that she is currently spouting a whole lot of next level crazy?

Joke aside, and trying to put myself in her shoes: She's obviously someone who's most important people in her life made her feel 1.unloved or rejected 2.and dismissed and unvalidated (that her opinion is either wrong, or it doesn't matter).
- I wouldn't worry about coming across as no1. (because she already knows that you care.Moreover, she doesn't seem to be the type that gets offended or takes things personally. And even if she might feel like that for a bit, that will pass).
So I wouldn't waste time rehearsing "sugary lines" or batting my eyelashes.
- But I'd be careful not to come across as no 2.

So (and you pretty much already said it) I'd make sure to show her clearly that, "if you were to zero in on the forrest", you think she's an ok person who's right on most things. But that, "if you zero in on the trees", you think that a few of her views are skewed, even if the vast majority are fine.

I don't know how you should get the above point across (it depends a lot on the context of the conversation).
But as far as choice of words are concerned: I'd use categorical words when discussing her sane views (you are absolutely right, I agree) and tentative words -that also put the burden on You- when discussing her crazy views (I feel, it sounds to me, I fear that we might not be on the same page on that, I wonder, might it be that you're a bit/slightly wrong…)
If you want to keep your nuts intact, that is. Because remember, no one likes to be told that they are crazy.

P.S. -sorry about the occ. awkward syntax : english is my 2nd.

 

[Noor]

The reality of what she lived in could have been so bad that she created an alternative one that was safer or better. It could be a form of PTSD.
If she is willing, maybe she can get help for PTSD.

 

[MallardGoodbody]

ok ...
to the people who gave legit conversation, i thank you. you gave me substance to consider.

to all of those who made comments about me having sex with her, perhaps you didn't read the line about "horrors" as they were associated with her dad. she has some issues regarding sex that i'm not trying to get mixed up in.

she talks to me instead of her "girlfriends" because i've known her longer than most people that she currently speaks to. since like HS. she left behind a lot of her close friends when she moved across the country to marry the now ex. and being a single mother in a state where the only people you really know are your kid, your ex and his new woman does not make for good friend making fodder. i mean i think she chats with the coffee lady at the farmer's market and there is her hypnosis journey guide person, but not too many other people enter her circle regularly.

plus since i've known her for so long, she trusts me and knows that i'm not out to dupe her or screw her over.

and just to clarify a bit. she is not "my dog Sam told me a great story about who to vote for!" crazy.

nor is she, 'curled up in a ball yelling "get the bugs off of me or i'm gonna throw this grenade!" crazy.

she is more of the, "well i broke up with that guy i was dating for 2 weeks because we were watching the news and that got me to thinking...what if we get married and have a kid and like 19 yrs from now when the kid is moving out to go to college and he says that the kid should get an apartment to teach them responsibility and i'm like i want the kid to live in a dorm for safety and socialization? what if we never can agree b4 the kids is driving away and ends up goin gout of state? besides he was making too much money at his job and buying things he didn't need like those shoes that football player designed. i mean he can wear regular sneakers, am i right? you know what i mean right?" kinda crazy.

perhaps this will help you all to understand what i am with all of this. how do i answer , "am i right?" to that kinda question?

 

[Noor]

ok ...
to the people who gave legit conversation, i thank you. you gave me substance to consider.

to all of those who made comments about me having sex with her, perhaps you didn't read the line about "horrors" as they were associated with her dad. she has some issues regarding sex that i'm not trying to get mixed up in.

she talks to me instead of her "girlfriends" because i've known her longer than most people that she currently speaks to. since like HS. she left behind a lot of her close friends when she moved across the country to marry the now ex. and being a single mother in a state where the only people you really know are your kid, your ex and his new woman does not make for good friend making fodder. i mean i think she chats with the coffee lady at the farmer's market and there is her hypnosis journey guide person, but not too many other people enter her circle regularly.

plus since i've known her for so long, she trusts me and knows that i'm not out to dupe her or screw her over.

and just to clarify a bit. she is not "my dog Sam told me a great story about who to vote for!" crazy.

nor is she, 'curled up in a ball yelling "get the bugs off of me or i'm gonna throw this grenade!" crazy.

she is more of the, "well i broke up with that guy i was dating for 2 weeks because we were watching the news and that got me to thinking...what if we get married and have a kid and like 19 yrs from now when the kid is moving out to go to college and he says that the kid should get an apartment to teach them responsibility and i'm like i want the kid to live in a dorm for safety and socialization? what if we never can agree b4 the kids is driving away and ends up goin gout of state? besides he was making too much money at his job and buying things he didn't need like those shoes that football player designed. i mean he can wear regular sneakers, am i right? you know what i mean right?" kinda crazy.

perhaps this will help you all to understand what i am with all of this. how do i answer , "am i right?" to that kinda question?

That doesn't sound so crazy, but she is putting the cart before the horse and I would just tell her that.

 

[Ulaven_Demorte]

Son, never stick your dick in crazy.

Best advice I ever received from my old man.

 

[Lancecastor]

You dont put your penis in Reci?

 

[hashtag45]

Younger guys (ie the OP) who are trying to describe more touchy-feely topics, or who are trying to
get inside a woman's psyche
- that never gets old.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Younger guys (ie the OP) who are trying to describe more touchy-feely topics, or who are trying to
get inside a woman's psyche
- that never gets old.

Hell, I thought this thread was going to be all about you...

​

 

[hashtag45]

Hell, I thought this thread was going to be all about you...

​

But on a serious note: I only made threads about me whenever I was trying the get the relentless creeps and trolls off my back re the "female impersonator or Que alt" vitriolic nonsense.
Do I have a habit of bragging about myself in any other contexts ? Nope.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

My kobudo teacher told me, if you don't brag on you, who will?