What I wouldn't do for a plaster mold of Heathyr Hoffman's vagina

Mike_Yates

Literotica's Anti-Hero
Joined
Jan 5, 2006
Posts
15,449
I can't tell you what I wouldn't do to have a plaster mold of Heathyr Hoffman's vagina and/or butthole.
 
Thread title: "What I wouldn't do..."

Thread content: "I can't tell you what I wouldn't do..."

False advertising, dude.
 
"Vagina" and "butthole?"

What are you, twelve? And why the ever-living fuck do you have a fantasy about obtaining a plastic replica? As long as you're simply fantasizing, why the hell aren't you fantasizing about having access to the actual orifices that are the object of your sophomoric fantasy?

You have to know there is something deeply wrong with you, right?
 
"Vagina" and "butthole?"

What are you, twelve? And why the ever-living fuck do you have a fantasy about obtaining a plastic replica? As long as you're simply fantasizing, why the hell aren't you fantasizing about having access to the actual orifices that are the object of your sophomoric fantasy?

You have to know there is something deeply wrong with you, right?

Considering where she's been, would you really want access to the real thing?
 
Considering where she's been, would you really want access to the real thing?
"Where she's been?"

I don't follow. Other than in Mike's fevered imaginings I'm not aware of her having any particular background of promiscuity beyond that which I would expect of any other woman roughly her age.

Do you only consort with virgins? I haven't met any lately.
 
Here is some great insight into her level of sexual promiscuity.

http://113.imagebam.com/download/-UmDWAQnZ_KPLZ3sQZ-vDQ/43588/435878631/Vegas42.jpg

According to her fetlife profile (which has since been deleted) here is a list of all of the kinks and fetishes she's into.

*Cum for me, princess
*Anal sex
*Armbinders
*Ass play
*Beautiful eyes
*Begging
*Begging to orgasm
*Being a princess
*Being a sexual being
*Being a slut
*Being bitten, scratched, and bruised
*Being called a slut by someone who I adore
*Being fucked with a hand on my throat and threats whispered into my ear
*Being scared of you, in a good way
*Being told cum for me slut
*Being told I'm a good girl
*Being told I'm a beautiful princess but getting fucked like a dirty little whore
*Being whispered to during rough sex
*Belt whippings
*Bite marks
*Biting
*Bondage
*Bound and teased
*Breast/Nipple play
*Bruises
*Candle wax
*Chakra energy play
*Claws
*Corsets
*d/s
*Dildos
*Energy play
*Energy work
*Finger fucking
*Fingernails gently across my bare skin
*Flogging
*Geeks, hair pulling
*Handcuffs
*I know you can take it, beautiful
*I wanna fucking tear you apart
*Intelligence
*Knife play
*Knives
*Leather cuffs
*Leaving marks
*Making pain beautiful
*Multiple orgasms
*Neck biting
*Needle play
*Orgasm control
*Piercings
*Pussy spanking
*Rope bondage
*Rough sex
*Sacred sexuality
*Sacred whore
*Scratching
*Sensation play
*Sensual domination
*Sensual play
*Sex magick
*Spanking
*Spiritual BSDM
*Spiritual submission
*Spreader bars
*Squirting
*Strap-ons
*Strong, confident submissives and slaves who know they are worthless, unworthy, trash, worms, or any of that other stroke fodder nonsense
*Subspace
*Talking dirty
*Thinking I am too cute to punish
*Touchless orgasms
*Vampires
*Vampirism
*Verbal humiliation and degradation
*Vibrators
*Waking daddy up by grinding my ass against his cock so he'll wake up and take what belongs to him
*Breast bondage
*Chains, co-domination
*Co-topping
*Collar and lead/leash
*Corset piercing
*Cutting
*Edge play
*Leather restraints
*Sensory Deprivation
*Shibari
*Single tail whips
*Vampire gloves
*Whips
 
Here is some great insight into her level of sexual promiscuity.

http://113.imagebam.com/download/-UmDWAQnZ_KPLZ3sQZ-vDQ/43588/435878631/Vegas42.jpg

According to her fetlife profile (which has since been deleted) here is a list of all of the kinks and fetishes she's into.

*Cum for me, princess
*Anal sex
*Armbinders
*Ass play
*Beautiful eyes
*Begging
*Begging to orgasm
*Being a princess
*Being a sexual being
*Being a slut
*Being bitten, scratched, and bruised
*Being called a slut by someone who I adore
*Being fucked with a hand on my throat and threats whispered into my ear
*Being scared of you, in a good way
*Being told cum for me slut
*Being told I'm a good girl
*Being told I'm a beautiful princess but getting fucked like a dirty little whore
*Being whispered to during rough sex
*Belt whippings
*Bite marks
*Biting
*Bondage
*Bound and teased
*Breast/Nipple play
*Bruises
*Candle wax
*Chakra energy play
*Claws
*Corsets
*d/s
*Dildos
*Energy play
*Energy work
*Finger fucking
*Fingernails gently across my bare skin
*Flogging
*Geeks, hair pulling
*Handcuffs
*I know you can take it, beautiful
*I wanna fucking tear you apart
*Intelligence
*Knife play
*Knives
*Leather cuffs
*Leaving marks
*Making pain beautiful
*Multiple orgasms
*Neck biting
*Needle play
*Orgasm control
*Piercings
*Pussy spanking
*Rope bondage
*Rough sex
*Sacred sexuality
*Sacred whore
*Scratching
*Sensation play
*Sensual domination
*Sensual play
*Sex magick
*Spanking
*Spiritual BSDM
*Spiritual submission
*Spreader bars
*Squirting
*Strap-ons
*Strong, confident submissives and slaves who know they are worthless, unworthy, trash, worms, or any of that other stroke fodder nonsense
*Subspace
*Talking dirty
*Thinking I am too cute to punish
*Touchless orgasms
*Vampires
*Vampirism
*Verbal humiliation and degradation
*Vibrators
*Waking daddy up by grinding my ass against his cock so he'll wake up and take what belongs to him
*Breast bondage
*Chains, co-domination
*Co-topping
*Collar and lead/leash
*Corset piercing
*Cutting
*Edge play
*Leather restraints
*Sensory Deprivation
*Shibari
*Single tail whips
*Vampire gloves
*Whips

I wonder why she took it down.
 
That's not what promiscuous mean. Clicking a bunch of boxes about all the things that interest you is definitely not promiscuous.

Even if she managed to actually accomplish each one of those things on her list she could theoretically do that with one monogamous partner.
 
You've probably masturbated in your own feces more often than she's had sex, Mike.

You fucking slut.
 
where has the cute Mike gone?:(
instead, this psychotic list of slanders….

She's too nice for you to do that to her, Mike, please delete those lists.
 
Again, this gives us no "insight" him to her level of promiscuity.. kink and promiscuity ate not the same thing.

You need a book on sex education and competant therapy. At some point, you might meet some girl desparate enough to overlook your obvious insanity and you will be ill prepared to deal with her sexuality.
 
Again, this gives us no "insight" him to her level of promiscuity.. kink and promiscuity ate not the same thing.

You need a book on sex education and competant therapy. At some point, you might meet some girl desparate enough to overlook your obvious insanity and you will be ill prepared to deal with her sexuality.

She had an account on the dating website okcupid, which is where she admitted in the compatibility questionnaire that she had a sex tape.

When this tape was made and who it was with was not specified.

I took a screen shot of that using the windows snipping tool.

http://114.imagebam.com/download/UchwhiBozH0m0F7DU-S5pw/43524/435234381/sextape.JPG
 
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