What I Wish....

[MakeMeSweat]

I wish that I could say that:

• I live near you.
• I wish that I could say that I am unattached.
• I wish that I could say that I can spend 24/7 with you.
• I wish that I could say that there is nothing that could interfere.
• I wish I could say that I am exactly what you are looking for and that I look exactly what you desire.
• I wish I could say that I am never a jerk.
• I wish that I could say that I am always reachable by phone, by email, by Skype.
• I wish that I could say that I am so confident and self-assure.

but I cannot...

What I can say is that:

Yes, I am married. Yes, I feel guilty at times. Yes, I struggle because what I so want - the intimacy, the passion, the thrill, the longing... just isn't there anymore. Yes, I have a family. Yes, I know that it makes it difficult. I know that I probably shouldn't be here... but I am.

I know the struggles - not wanting to get caught, but yet needing to check-in. Hoping upon hoping that someone, somewhere will understand, will connect. Will understand the limitations, the feelings of guilt, even the tug-and-pull.

I know what it is like to have secret desires that have attempted to be expressed to the significant other. The subtle and not-so subtle hints, only to realize they will not share or accept.

I know what it is like... I think that you do to.

Maybe, just maybe, you will want to reach out and we can share together.

Maybe just maybe you will pick up this rose (----<---'@) and want to place it beside mine in a vase and see how they bloom together.

Maybe...

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Denny

What I Wish.... I wish I had all the right answers.
What I can say is don't give up, continue to dream. Fantasies do come true.

 

[Tasteslikecandy2016]

Love the honesty

While I've just arrived here, I've been lurking a long time and I have definitely scoped out the personals. This is one of the most honest posts I've seen. I do hope you find what you seek.

 

[BubblyBookworm]

I wish that I could say that:

• I live near you.
• I wish that I could say that I am unattached.
• I wish that I could say that I can spend 24/7 with you.
• I wish that I could say that there is nothing that could interfere.
• I wish I could say that I am exactly what you are looking for and that I look exactly what you desire.
• I wish I could say that I am never a jerk.
• I wish that I could say that I am always reachable by phone, by email, by Skype.
• I wish that I could say that I am so confident and self-assure.

but I cannot...

What I can say is that:

Yes, I am married. Yes, I feel guilty at times. Yes, I struggle because what I so want - the intimacy, the passion, the thrill, the longing... just isn't there anymore. Yes, I have a family. Yes, I know that it makes it difficult. I know that I probably shouldn't be here... but I am.

I know the struggles - not wanting to get caught, but yet needing to check-in. Hoping upon hoping that someone, somewhere will understand, will connect. Will understand the limitations, the feelings of guilt, even the tug-and-pull.

I know what it is like to have secret desires that have attempted to be expressed to the significant other. The subtle and not-so subtle hints, only to realize they will not share or accept.

I know what it is like... I think that you do to.

Maybe, just maybe, you will want to reach out and we can share together.

Maybe just maybe you will pick up this rose (----<---'@) and want to place it beside mine in a vase and see how they bloom together.

Maybe...

Those are very lovely words; your message so vivid and prolific!!! The sensitivity displayed is quite beautiful, never give up on what you desire!! )

 

[xhxhxh]

In the few years ive been on Lit, ive come across a few profiles that had similar things in common to my situation. This post, however, hits the nail on the friggin head!! As im sure im not the only one out here in Lit Land that it does, this sounds eerily similar to my own reality.

To MMS, and others out there like us, stay strong brothers.....

 

[MakeMeSweat]

Thank you all for the kind comments.

 

[Curiouschick79]

Hi. What exactly are ur interests? I am trying to explore my bi fantasies. I would love to be w a woman but I also fantasize about being w 2 men.

 

[MakeMeSweat]

If I haven't responded to someone who PM'd me, I apologize. I emptied my folder (not because I had too much responses) my mistake.

I realize this form of communication on here isn't the fastest or the 'best', but it is what I have. Add that to my wish list.

Hope to hear from you soon.

 

[LostEndeavor]

Damn... so close to my thoughts/wants/needs but so much better expressed.

At least I know where everyone I'd be interested in probably disappeared to.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

What I wish is that everyone could be happy with what they have, or find the strength to change things for the better.

You wrote a beautiful plea and it touched my heart because I was once in your situation.

I can offer a friendly ear to bend, but nothing more. And I do wish you luck in reconciling your wants and needs with what you currently have.

 

[LostEndeavor]

What I wish is that everyone could be happy with what they have, or find the strength to change things for the better.

If only things could be that simple...

"Just say that you were happy, as happy would allow
And tell yourself that that will have to do for now"

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

If only things could be that simple...

"Just say that you were happy, as happy would allow
And tell yourself that that will have to do for now"

I do understand. (((Hugs))

 

[MakeMeSweat]

Damn... so close to my thoughts/wants/needs but so much better expressed.

At least I know where everyone I'd be interested in probably disappeared to.

Its not that there is a line... and I am sure you have just as much if not more to offer.

 

[LostEndeavor]

Its not that there is a line... and I am sure you have just as much if not more to offer.

I'm not necessarily sure about that.

It's just rare that I see someone so specifically and clearly express their situation, expectation and wishes. I've been and am again where you are. I know the sense of something missing, wanting/needing to maintain what is left and the satisfaction of finding that complete picture.

I hope you find what you want and more so what you need. I also hope it happens for you more quickly that it will for me. But that's because I'm just a difficult pain in the ass with piss ass poor social skills and a warped view of life.

 

[MakeMeSweat]

I'm not necessarily sure about that.

It's just rare that I see someone so specifically and clearly express their situation, expectation and wishes. I've been and am again where you are. I know the sense of something missing, wanting/needing to maintain what is left and the satisfaction of finding that complete picture.

I hope you find what you want and more so what you need. I also hope it happens for you more quickly that it will for me. But that's because I'm just a difficult pain in the ass with piss ass poor social skills and a warped view of life.

We aren't the same person with a split personality are we?

 

[JamesRTickit]

I can tell you

That I have been in contact with and still in contact with so many people who are married but it has run its course.
Evolution has made married a date that lasts a long time.
Society enables us to divorce.

But there are so many couples stuck together for their children or finances are simply the fear of change.


I have no solution other that to help with words where I can

 

[txgent101]

I wish that I could say that:

• I live near you.
• I wish that I could say that I am unattached.
• I wish that I could say that I can spend 24/7 with you.
• I wish that I could say that there is nothing that could interfere.
• I wish I could say that I am exactly what you are looking for and that I look exactly what you desire.
• I wish I could say that I am never a jerk.
• I wish that I could say that I am always reachable by phone, by email, by Skype.
• I wish that I could say that I am so confident and self-assure.

but I cannot...

What I can say is that:

Yes, I am married. Yes, I feel guilty at times. Yes, I struggle because what I so want - the intimacy, the passion, the thrill, the longing... just isn't there anymore. Yes, I have a family. Yes, I know that it makes it difficult. I know that I probably shouldn't be here... but I am.

I know the struggles - not wanting to get caught, but yet needing to check-in. Hoping upon hoping that someone, somewhere will understand, will connect. Will understand the limitations, the feelings of guilt, even the tug-and-pull.

I know what it is like to have secret desires that have attempted to be expressed to the significant other. The subtle and not-so subtle hints, only to realize they will not share or accept.

I know what it is like... I think that you do to.

Maybe, just maybe, you will want to reach out and we can share together.

Maybe just maybe you will pick up this rose (----<---'@) and want to place it beside mine in a vase and see how they bloom together.

Maybe...

I appreciate this expression of your feelings. Although I am not married, much of it applies anyway. The search for intimacy, understanding, connection. We do p.m.'s, place profiles on dating sites, engage in the Lit chat rooms, and all for that elusive connection. Allowing a digital will-o-the-wisp to substitute for a tangible touch of the other.

Wanting to project a strong, assertive image of one's self, all the while feeling needy and tentative. Wanting to emerge from the sexual wilderness to a vibrant liaison.

But, to put a more positive face on it: being here on Lit and using the internet as our sensual and sexual bedroom, it is better than sitting in front of the TV, watching aimless images and commercials cross the screen.

Thanks for sharing buddy, there are a lot of us in that boat....
http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/storage/online_dating_hearts_keyboard.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1436723659179

 

[MakeMeSweat]

The hard part is that the marriage has not run it's course. I am still in love and care deeply about my wife and children.

It might not make sense then why I am here.. it is the spark, the intimacy, the excitement.

I can try to work on those things, but when it isn't returned. When it happens once a month if that.

Perhaps I am to be patient, perhaps it will turn itself around... perhaps... perhaps it never will...

Perhaps I need to just learn to live with it.

Perhaps...

Perhaps I wish someone else would pick up after the perhaps and fill in the blanks with what is missing.

 

[Sugarfoot10]

I don't have the answer

I finally separated from my husband of 22 yrs. I held onto the hope things would get better. Things only got worse. It is scary as hell starting over but I can not live another 20 yrs with a man who doesn't respect me. So I hope you find someone.

 

[julybaby04]

This thread really touches the heart....especially with other men expressing the same wish list.

I hope each of you find a lovely women to make you smile again....

 

[legend151]

I get what you are saying. I love my husband, but I'm not in love with him anymore. We stay together out of habit & fear of being alone after 20 years. The newness wore off a long time ago. That spark you speak of, ours is long gone. I thought I found it here once. I realized it was just a flicker, not a true flame. I've found the flame, but it's not meant to be anything more than stolen moments together.