What helps you put aside the shame of creating or enjoying porn?

[AchtungNight]

The first time I created an erotic story- and pretty much every every time I have written one afterwards- I have felt a bit guilty. Writing about explicit sex will always be a sin to some people. You will always be labeled an objectifier of people, a potential danger to them. Even when more of your stories are about consensual and enjoyable sex and things that happen because of sex than abusive harassment and worse.

What keeps you doing it? What motivates you to stay in the arena?

In my case, it’s the good feedback I get on occasion from people who have enjoyed my stories in spite of their potential lows. And the potential for more. I have enjoyed reading erotica as much as I have been given cause to consider it as furthering the cause of harassment and misogyny, and more than I have felt disgusted or disappointed by it. I would not destroy it entirely because of that. I’m not at that point. I will keep creating good erotica. Long as it is recognized by some audience out there.

I hope you can be that audience. Or, if you are a creative person, find similar potential viewers. Best of luck.

 

[lustychimera]

Isn't the shame the fun part? Or am i doing the sexy times wrong?

 

[AchtungNight]

Shame is not fun to me, no. If it is for you, well, I don’t know how to respond to that. But I am not such a person. We’re not all in this life with the same reasoning.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

When I was a young girl in the early 80s.... My mother and I went to Kmart. In those days if the rich kids know you wore Kmart clothes you got teased...
I recall asking my mom that day;
"What if kids from school see me here?"..
To which she replied:
"Then they are here too, so they can't talk shit, right?"..

That's how I get over the guilt of writing erotica and having potential people I know come across it here....
If they're on Lit and recognize me, there here for a reason too, right?

 

[StillStunned]

I was raised Catholic. A quick trip to confession, three Hail Marys and a promise to come back next week to share more, and I'm done.

More seriously: nope, no shame. Maybe because writing erotica feels more creative than simply filming myself naked and posting it online.

 

[jehoram]

When I was a young girl in the early 80s.... My mother and I went to Kmart. I'm those days if the rich kids know you wrote Kmart clothes you got teased...
I recall asking my mom that day;
"What if kids from school see me here?"..
To which she replied:
"Then they are here too, so they can't talk shit, right?"..

My philosophy about nudist beaches and resorts, too. If they're seeing me nekkid, I'm seeing them nekkid. No harm, no foul.

 

[lustychimera]

Shame is not fun to me, no. If it is for you, well, I don’t know how to respond to that. But I am not such a person. We’re not all in this life with the same reasoning.

The only question that really matters is whether you feel guilty yourself or if the shame is something others apply to you. From your post, it sounds like the latter, and I don't let those kinds of people very far into my life.

I was raised in an ultra conservative little town, and I never want to go back to that kind of thinking. It really breeds a lot of self conscious doubts that do no good.

 

[intim8]

The easiest way to put it aside is to not be ashamed in the first place, and to not write anything I would be ashamed of. Not everybody I know knows I do it, including my family, but I would not be ashamed of any of it if they found out.

I grew up with a lot of shame associated with sex. I got over that. I like to make the distinction between private and secret. Secret means nobody knows about it. Private means they know, but they don't get the details. For instance, taking a shit is private, but not secret. The combination to your safe, or the password to your online banking, everybody knows you have them, but they don't know what they are. Your plans for world domination are best kept secret.

Same goes for sex and fantasies. That line gets a little blurred here, to the extent that my writing reveals anything about my fantasies or actual experiences, but there's enough distance in the fact that it is fiction to keep it just the right side of private. Even people who know me would not know which elements of my stories are revealing of my private life and which are made up from whole cloth.

 

[jehoram]

In my case, it’s the good feedback I get on occasion from people who have enjoyed my stories in spite of their potential lows. And the potential for more.

That's a big part of it for me. I get a comment or PM saying "OMG, I'm not the only one!" Or "Your story is too good to be true, but I like it when I can put myself in it."

But I don't think I've ever written a story that was just sex, sex, sex without some character involvement.

 

[AchtungNight]

The only question that really matters is whether you feel guilty yourself or if the shame is something others apply to you. From your post, it sounds like the latter, and I don't let those kinds of people very far into my life.

I was raised in an ultra conservative little town, and I never want to go back to that kind of thinking. It really breeds a lot of self conscious doubts that do no good.

I was raised by ultra conservatives too. And I agree with your words.

 

[AchtungNight]

That's a big part of it for me. I get a comment or PM saying "OMG, I'm not the only one!" Or "Your story is too good to be true, but I like it when I can put myself in it."

But I don't think I've ever written a story that was just sex, sex, sex without some character involvement.

If I’ve ever read such a story I know I haven’t enjoyed it as much as one with characters defined and involved.

 

[enbiji]

The first time I created an erotic story- and pretty much every every time I have written one afterwards- I have felt a bit guilty. Writing about explicit sex will always be a sin to some people. You will always be labeled an objectifier of people, a potential danger to them. Even when more of your stories are about consensual and enjoyable sex and things that happen because of sex than abusive harassment and worse.

What keeps you doing it? What motivates you to stay in the arena?

In my case, it’s the good feedback I get on occasion from people who have enjoyed my stories in spite of their potential lows. And the potential for more. I have enjoyed reading erotica as much as I have been given cause to consider it as furthering the cause of harassment and misogyny, and more than I have felt disgusted or disappointed by it. I would not destroy it entirely because of that. I’m not at that point. I will keep creating good erotica. Long as it is recognized by some audience out there.

I hope you can be that audience. Or, if you are a creative person, find similar potential viewers. Best of luck.

Orgasms

 

[lustychimera]

I was raised by ultra conservatives too. And I agree with your words.

It's a hard thing to get over, raised living in everyone else's heads. They want you to be gray.

 

[bigcockstallion]

Orgasms

Ha ha agreed

 

[TarnishedPenny]

What shame? I keep some things quiet, but it’s not about shame.

 

[enbiji]

Don't kinkshame my shamekink

 

[orangecurious]

the fact i utterly hate every part of my being helps

 

[kathyisgr65]

I never had any shame to begin with
(Associated with porn)

 

[Yarglenurp]

I read a story about a guy who statutory-r**ed a girl. Now, as a politician, he harps about the sanctity of marriage.

Shame is dead.

 

[SimonDoom]

By the time I wrote and published my first erotic story, I was over 50. I might have felt guilt or shame if I had done it when I was younger, and I wouldn't have wanted to share it with my spouse when I was married, but I felt no guilt or shame by the time I started doing it. I'm way past that. I think erotic fantasy is a healthy, fun thing in which to participate.

 

[lovecraft68]

I've never had any.

I mentioned before that I was raised with no religion and no politics. Therefore, I was not indoctrinated into anything, and had neither the shame of what "god" would think, or any type of "family values conservative" instilled in me. Even back in my very early teens I'd adopted the you do you as long as you're not hurting anyone of yourself.

I sincerely feel bad for people raised to feel shame about sex in any way, that BS has ruined marriages, lives, mental health, etc...Its just sad to me.

 

[MyBareTorso]

I'm something of a hedonist, I guess. I do shit that makes me feel good. Writing on Literotica turns me on, and that's why I do it. I don't want people to know I write here, but that's not a matter of shame. I just don't want certain people to know about my sexual desires and fantasies because that would be...weird. As long as I'm not hurting anyone, I have no shame about what I do here. In this world, to state the very obvious, people do shit far, far worse than writing porn.

 

[KeithD]

For years, writing in the mainstream, I was frustrated that I couldn't keep the door open to the bedroom. And then I made that leap. I think I felt relief, not shame.

 

[enbiji]

I mostly write poetry, so not enough people read it for me to feel any meaningful amount of shame.

 

[Lumiere_Amie]

What is this ‘shame’ you speak of? Is that what I feel in my pants when I’m writing the spicy parts?