What happened to net-etiquette rule of lurking for a while before posting?

[BlondGirl]

I wonder....What do you think?

 

[lovetoread]

I think that many forget that you do need to have manners in the cyber world.

 

[BlondGirl]

Please note, this is directed at many of the creatures who wander in here. Including Mr. Edwards (brianedwards6, and allllllll of creeps like him) from yesterday.

 

[AStormyOne]

How much

time would you consider appropriate to lurk? Just curious....

Storm

 

[lilminx]

I didn't lurk before posting. To be honest with you, I had never been to an online bulletin board before Lit and had no idea what to expect, so I just jumped right in. However, I think that for the most part I conducted myself accordingly. I don't think you need to lurk in order to be mannerly here; I think that it just takes a sense of common courtesy.

 

[JaymesBlond007]

I would have voted...

Then again, I would have smashed my dick with a pall-pin hammer...

Got your point though. Well put Blondie

 

[KillerMuffin]

There's a rule like that? I never knew.

I just jumped right in. I read the forum itself for about three hours first, to see if I liked it here, but I didn't lurk beyond that. I just jumped right in and howled a big howdy.

My reception was lukewarm. Hot from some people, an iceberg from others. That never changed.

I always thought of chats and bb's as Grand Central Station where everyone shows up when they want and carries on. People come, people go. Some stay for a short time and never come back, some seem to never leave. I think people should read at least the first two pages to see what kind of place this is, obviously Jerry Fallwell wouldn't be comfortable, but jumping right in isn't something I consider un-mannerly.

Now, how you jump right in, that's different. You've got three ways of doing it. The Lurker Way. People who've lurked a while know us, so they talk to us as if they know us and we don't know them. It's not wrong, just a little odd. The Usual Way. Hi! New here! Be nice to me! Which is cool because it introduces a new member and they get to see us on our best behavior for at least one thread. The Kid Rock Way. Let's just say that it's inflammatory.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Coming onto the boards is like walking into a party where some of the people know each other intimately. They are making insider jokes because they know much about each others lives: they have history. A new person is not going to know that history.

Is the new person not allowed to join in the conversation or do they need to go back and read the entire board? Why bother to join the party if you have to be a wall flower until some of the insiders have decided you are important enough to be included even though there are THOUSANDS of others that are not participating.

I was taught to be nice and tolerant. Those are manners.

There were a couple of nice long threads about newbies just since I have been here that have discussed this topic at length..

 

[MissTaken]

I am not sure that lurking is really the issue.

Consideration and giving careful thought to what you say before you say it is helpful. Having enough info about a person prior to posting something of a personal nature to them helps as well.

I didn't lurk, but posted on a few threads in a rather benign fashion before finding my posting feet and finding my place here.

Like lilminx, this was my first experience with a BB.

KSMY....I believe the frustration lies with those who enter the "party" with disruptive behavior, rudeness and antagonistism. These behaviors would be frowned upon at a real life gathering as well resulting in much the same reaction as board members have had. Would you agree?

 

[FieryKitty]

I've lurked for a couple of weeks and this is my first post. I've found that this board is so busy that lurking really hasn't made me feel like I know anyone. A few names (and a few avatars ) have left an impression, but for the most part I feel as though I'm at a really crowded party with loud music and other distractions. It seems like a really cool party, though, so I thought I'd join the fun.

Kitty

 

[ksmybuttons]

I am not sure that lurking is really the issue.

KSMY....I believe the frustration lies with those who enter the "party" with disruptive behavior, rudeness and antagonistism. These behaviors would be frowned upon at a real life gathering as well resulting in much the same reaction as board members have had. Would you agree?

I agree. But it is not just the new people who display those qualities. Those qualities have been quite prevalent over the past couple of days.

Those new people are now board members, too.

I will practice tolerance and end here.

 

[Tim1]

I have

I have lurked and still do. Don't think it is the rule that needs to be followed, but I also like to read the posts. Reading tha posts without always posting yourself IS lurking. I see nothing wrong with it but in my view does not need to be a rule.

 

[Andreina]

Rules are made to be broken.
But then I'm just a rebel with(out) a cause.

 

[MissTaken]

I agree. But it is not just the new people who display those qualities. Those qualities have been quite prevalent over the past couple of days.

Those new people are now board members, too.

I will practice tolerance and end here.

Ahhh, so you are very wise and possess style.

*nods head*

The board moves in cycles and this too shall pass.

 

[SweetBrat73]

I didn't lurk before posting. To be honest with you, I had never been to an online bulletin board before Lit and had no idea what to expect, so I just jumped right in. However, I think that for the most part I conducted myself accordingly. I don't think you need to lurk in order to be mannerly here; I think that it just takes a sense of common courtesy.

I did that too, and agree with lilminx. Lurking doesn't mean you pick up manners.

Brat

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Depends on the person...some people do everything in life for the sake of reaction first...I used to, and sometimes still do, but I think I'm starting to mature out of it, when I'm in a good mood, that is.

Then again, maybe I'm not maturing...there're a lot of "I"s in that paragraph above...

 

[Cheyenne]

I've lurked for a couple of weeks and this is my first post. I've found that this board is so busy that lurking really hasn't made me feel like I know anyone. A few names (and a few avatars ) have left an impression, but for the most part I feel as though I'm at a really crowded party with loud music and other distractions. It seems like a really cool party, though, so I thought I'd join the fun.

Kitty

Hey, another kitty! Won't Mensa be pleased.

Seriously, cats/pussies/kitties are all very popular here.

Glad you decided to join the party!

 

[modest mouse]

Blondgirl,

I do think you are wondering about this and not using it as a means of vague condemnation, so I can see your point.

As far as antagonism and having a big mouth, I have almost 2000 posts and I am one of the biggest 'offenders' in each regard.

The very thing that makes the board contentious at times is what keeps so many of us here. Its open, its varied, its sometimes crazy and frustrating, sometimes enlightening and hilarious. I, for one, have seen so many great new people on the board since I joined several months ago. If they had all lurked too long I feel their is a tendemcy to assimilation and I frankly couldnt deal with more of the same.

Do some people put their foot in their mouth? Yup, about as much as those who have been here awhile. We all lurk in some sense and could never know all of what goes on the board(and off).

Veering of course: There is a thread started by Dillinger that outlines an entire 'guideline' that BB members, new and old, should follow to be good citizens. As I said in that thread, implemetnation of the rules would kill this, and any other, board in a matter of days.

Those that stand alone on this board are those that I find I will keep in touch with away from it.

 

[Dillinger]

"Literotica Etiquette - Newbies AND Old Timers"

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30992

 

[Kay Muffin]

"Literotica Etiquette - Newbies AND Old Timers"

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=30992

Gosh Dill, why can't we just have a Coke and a smile?

 

[Rambling Rose]

I'm still lurking.

 

[Dillinger]

I'm sorry - but for those of you who think there is a rule book I'm suggesting you follow then you haven't really read my thread or the comments of most who have posted to it.

All it does is outline some common sense rules for respect that most people apply automatically in RL but, for some reason, need to be reminded that similar courtesy should be given online as well.

 

[Kay Muffin]

I'm sorry - but for those of you who think there is a rule book I'm suggesting you follow then you haven't really read my thread or the comments of most who have posted to it.

All it does is outline some common sense rules for respect that most people apply automatically in RL but, for some reason, need to be reminded that similar courtesy should be given online as well.

I read it. It was a little dry. I need something to quench my thirst. Anybody got some Coke XT? I heard it was awesome....

 

[cymbidia]

Uninteresting to me are unmannerly people of any ilk, whether newbies or established board members. I’m not talking about the occasional blast of well-deserved heat from someone with a legitimate complaint. I’m not even talking about the occasional blast of undeserved wrath by someone who doesn’t make a habit of it. However, i don't come here for arguments and fights, for name-calling and unprovoked attacks, and whatever the other redeeming 'charms' that people who peddle such obnoxious personas offer, their abrasiveness wears thin for me after a very short time.

As is my habit, I simply avoid those I don’t like, and don’t respond to their posts. I generally conduct myself as if they and i inhabit mostly separate realities, which, in fact, we do.

Everything here, to me, has to do with observable manners and nothing rests on the length of time someone has lurked or not lurked before posting. Nothing depends on how long they've been here or whether everyone else thinks they're just soooooooo cool. I make up my own little “who’s cool” list, for sure.

There are some here that i decided were flaming assholes from the time of my earliest posting (during the Great Flame Wars of Winter 2001 when there were LOTS of flaming assholes around). After some time, many months in some cases, i revised my opinion of them. There are some here now that i think are totally unmitigated assholes, but many people think they're wonderful and spend a lot what i consider laughably-transparent ass-kissing time with them. There are some i’m wary of now that were friends in the past, some who were merely acquaintances that are now close and dear friends. There are many i don’t know enough to offer an opinion on at all. This is a big place.

It all goes to what one needs here, and is willing to give and take.

Like my everyday life, i just avoid the really serious offenders, whether they’ve lurked “long enough”, are recent arrivals, or have been here longer than me.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Kay Muffin, I'm not sure what you're going on about, but we're a community that likes to discuss just about everything under the sun. Advertising isn't welcome.

Go ahead and join the community, be yourself and have some fun. That's what we're here for. We really do like new members.