What does your sexuality NEED?

[DeepGreenEyes]

It's a point of debate as to what constitute human needs, as opposed to wants. Maslow presented his theory as a pyramid, with the basic physical needs at the bottom. Only when these needs are met can higher "needs" be attained.

What if we pulled out just one of Maslow's basic needs, Sex, sat him or her down with Charlie Rose, and conducted an interview. What would Your Sexuality say are its basic needs? Its core requirements?

For mine, the answers would be intimacy, an atmosphere of exploration and creativity, and, at a fundamental level, the need to dominate in the bedroom.

How about you?

 

[neci]

my sexuality needs an outlet.

 

[silenceisgolden]

i need to be told what to do. When i succeed in doing what i'm told i want praise. When i do something wrong i need to be punished. i need to be held and kissed but also spanked and scolded. i need to please my Master.

i'm very easy to please.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

i need to be told what to do. When i succeed in doing what i'm told i want praise. When i do something wrong i need to be punished. i need to be held and kissed but also spanked and scolded. i need to please my Master.

i'm very easy to please.

I once heard a writer say that if you can't articulate what your story's about in a couple of sentences, you haven't figured out your story. I always like to hear people summarize and articulate things like this.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

my sexuality needs an outlet.

you be the outlet and I'll be the plug.

 

[BiBunny]

Somebody's pain, fear, humiliation, and degradation, whether I'm on top or on bottom, and sex. With the ones I love, I also need time, attention, and unconditional love. I'm a high-maintenance whore.

 

[LilTexanGal]

What would Your Sexuality say are its basic needs? Its core requirements?

My needs are to be directed by a strong dominate male who is rough with me, explorative, and animalistic. RAWR!

 

[Aggressive One]

My sexuality needs to be linked to my primal side... The pleasure is but one aspect of what my drive is...

 

[ToPleaseHim]

My sexuality needs to be discovered and released; it has been suppressed and dormant for far too long. I'm actively exploring the needs of my sexuality.

 

[CurlyKat]

I need to serve. I need to please. I need to be cared for, loved, and kept close. On occasion, I need to hurt in a way that breaks down anything and everything, and then to be held in a way that puts me back together.

More than anything, though, I need to be able to make him happy.

 

[Aquila1]

I need freedom. I need the right not to have my sexuality categorized and labeled. I need the recognition that I am constantly changing and evolving. I need tenderness and pain and joy and shock and trust.

 

[chy_girl]

A commitment.
Fucking practice.
Rewarded for it's efforts as well as consequences.
Instructions on pleasing.
Encouraged to grow.
Never cold-hearted cruelty or callusness.
Due consideration.

A caring regard.
Creativity in imagination and application.
Honored and respected.
Accepted for what it is.
Not treated as a disposable fuck toy or whore.
Commitment from and to a Dom.
Encouraged to bloom.

A fondness.
Loved as a person for who I am.
Obedience to a Dom, be it freely given or demanded during bratty times.
Valued.
Encouraged to explore.
Real guidance and growth.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Control.

Love.

Everything else is a want.

 

[Earthgoddess]

and mine

Releasing my sexuality for an in depth interview would be almost dangerous as it would demand fulfillment,shared intimate time and connection. I picture my sexuality as Post-Ike Tina Turner, ready to rip the world apart and rebuild it, this is odd because I am basically a chubby,white mom-not a soccer mom, more like a bake sale mom. But inside there is that other side, just screaming to assert itself, and I believe it wants everything right now, it is voracious and howling to get free.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I've come to the point in my life where the only thing my sexuality needs is ME. I can be put in any situation with any person and as long as I can get into the right headspace I will get what I need sexually.

Now wants are a totally different story.

 

[Netzach]

Free reign of my imagination.
Respect of said sexuality. (from partners, from the state enough to leave me the fuck alone etc.)

A few good peeps who can take directions are a plus.

 

[hopefullywishing]

I am still trying to figure out what my Sexually needs veruse what it wants. Never really thought about it in these terms before. I am realizing that I don't think I need a lot, to be loved and held, and someone who can go toe to toe with me. What I want though is the world!

 

[Cattypuss]

I've come to the point in my life where the only thing my sexuality needs is ME. I can be put in any situation with any person and as long as I can get into the right headspace I will get what I need sexually.

Now wants are a totally different story.

I think this is me too.

 

[PaganKinktress]

Wow...some awesome thoughts being shared in this thread. I like the idea of a spin-off on Maslow and creating a "hierarchy of sexual needs".

Mine would include....

the need for mental stimulation
validation and encouragement for creative sexual expression
access to diverse sexual outlets
some elements of challenge; exchange of power and blurring of roles from time to time

Oh, and I need to be worshiped and adored too..

 

[Kadnil]

Now a discussion like this would certainly have lived up those boring lectures.......

My sexulality needs to be released, explored and allowed to be whatever it is. I'm a long way off finding even where to begin on this journey.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I need to be in control and I need to cause pain.

 

[subish2009]

For him to be in control
For my brattiness to be understood and enjoyed by him
Sadism that is dependent upon my enjoyment of it in addition to his

 

[~Haze~]

I need to be in control and I need to cause pain.

As I read through the thread, I see a lot of people making similar declarations. I don't mean to single yours out. The only reason that I did is because it's short, too the point, and has no additional elements.

I have similar desires, but I'm not entirely sure if I'd call those needs. Especially because they're pretty easy to satisfy. That is to say that I'm going to do what I'm going to do whether they're willing or not (ha. you know what I mean). (ETA: Not to suggest that these aren't needs for you. I just used this as the springboard for my post.)


"A need" to me is that element that makes that experience whole. Usually because someone else contributes or help satisfy that element. For me, it's just as much (or maybe even more) about the psychological than the physical.

Because of that, I need someone who is intelligent, engaging, and challenging. Yes, even to satisfy my sexual needs. I need to get in someone's head. Understand what they're thinking, what they're wanting, what they're fearing, and what they're needing. I need that discovery to be a challenge otherwise I lose interest quickly.

I need to earn a woman's trust and faith. I need her to feel safe in my arms.

Outside of the bedroom, I need a woman who can handle being adored, loved, pampered and complimented.

Believe it or not, it's not easy to find.

 

[~Haze~]

It's a point of debate as to what constitute human needs, as opposed to wants. Maslow presented his theory as a pyramid, with the basic physical needs at the bottom. Only when these needs are met can higher "needs" be attained.

What if we pulled out just one of Maslow's basic needs, Sex, sat him or her down with Charlie Rose, and conducted an interview. What would Your Sexuality say are its basic needs? Its core requirements?

For mine, the answers would be intimacy, an atmosphere of exploration and creativity, and, at a fundamental level, the need to dominate in the bedroom.

How about you?

When I replied, I didn't give much thought to the OP.

I'm not entirely sure any of us actually answered the actual question asked. I think that we all listed elements that would be at the top of the pyramid and not those most basic, fundamental needs.

Put us in a situation where we have no sexual release for months. No sex, or masturbation, nothing... and I am sure that most of us would easily be able to cum without having any of these 'higher functions' satisfied.

I think, in this case, "needs" is much simpler... much more primal. The basic need is simply (and crudely put) a cunt (or cock - depending on your perspective).

I think the bottom of the pyramid is exactly that. Procreation.

 

[Skorpion49]

A pyramid of cards

What Maslow failed to mention was that sex becomes even more important at the top of the pyramid. Or, I should say, that to self-actualizing men and women, intimacy is not enough, as a foundation, and more than usually lacking, in any case. So the pyramid comes tumbling down...they risk everything they ever achieved, for a good old fashioned poke...and find some excuse to justify it, without wanting to let go of what they have, of course. And what became of the morality, then, at the top of the pile?