What does this say about me.....

[SnoopDog]

You know, it's that time of the year when you have a quiet moment to think about yourself and your life.

So what does this say about me ?

I'm 24 years old. I'm still living in my parent's basement.
I'm a virgin, never had a girlfriend, never made out.
I have no real family, i.e. no relationship to my family members other than 'Hi' in the morning.
And I have not even a handful of friends.

-----> I'm a boring loser. It's actually a sad thought.
Then again I'd have no problem to live as a loser, it's just that I can't imagine living the rest of my days without ever kissing a girl and experiencing love which I know only from tv.

I know I shouldn't be thinking these thoughts, but I can't help it.

Snoopy,

 

[English Lady]

*hugs*Snoop. There is no use dwelling on where you are as you have no idea where you may be in the future.

here is no harm in thinking such things, the harm is in having souch a pessimistic outlook on it. If you are so upset about how your life is right now start doing things to change it.

honestly, if you sit moping about how bad things are it is unlikely they'll ever get better. Get up, go out and do something (even though it may be scary) and you've got achance to change things.

Find yourself a hobby that gets you ou and talking to other people or work on the relationship with your family or look into moving out of your parents basement...whatever it is you think you can do have a go. You can do it!

 

[lewdandlicentious]

Snoop,

Life doesn't come to you mate, you've gotta go out and get it.

At 24 you need to get your own place. I know that's expensive, and being a student it's not easy. But once the college is over, and you've qualified, you can get that job, get your own place, get out and kick life's ass.

Otherwise life will surely kick yours buddy.

Ain't nobody else gonna change things but YOU!!!!

 

[Xelebes]

You know, it's that time of the year when you have a quiet moment to think about yourself and your life.

So what does this say about me ?

I'm 24 years old. I'm still living in my parent's basement.
I'm a virgin, never had a girlfriend, never made out.
I have no real family, i.e. no relationship to my family members other than 'Hi' in the morning.
And I have not even a handful of friends.

-----> I'm a boring loser. It's actually a sad thought.
Then again I'd have no problem to live as a loser, it's just that I can't imagine living the rest of my days without ever kissing a girl and experiencing love which I know only from tv.

I know I shouldn't be thinking these thoughts, but I can't help it.

Snoopy,

That attitude will not get you out of that rut.

Don't worry, I am in the same position.

 

[LadyJeanne]

It says your best is yet to come, sweets! Go get 'em!

 

[Match Made In Heaven]

It says you don't live near a beach.

Or you wouldn't be able to have a basement

Good advice so far. Start doing some erands for your parents- like going to the post office for them. It will get you out and interacting, and show your parents that you appreciate all they've done for you.

Another alias of sweetnpetite-

 

[oggbashan]

I only know what used to work for me:

Join a club or society that does coffee or drinks and help with the washing up. Even in this so called enlightened age you will find more women in the kitchen than men. Even if all the women are married they will be practice at talking to women. They might have single friends and practise matchmaking on you...

At one time I belonged to three Church youth groups - until I was found out. Then I tried two political parties' youth wings - until I was found out. I didn't join the third. They actually believed in politics and would sit round discussing their party's manifesto. Ugh! In all of those the women outnumbered the men.

Now I study Tai Chi and Spanish - I'm outnumbered again.

And two pensioners' groups - I'm outnumbered AND I have to take my wife for protection. The single men have to fight the women off.

Og (who is not exactly a thing of beauty - see AV)

 

[sweetnpetite]

I only know what used to work for me:

Join a club or society that does coffee or drinks and help with the washing up. Even in this so called enlightened age you will find more women in the kitchen than men. Even if all the women are married they will be practice at talking to women. They might have single friends and practise matchmaking on you...

At one time I belonged to three Church youth groups - until I was found out. Then I tried two political parties' youth wings - until I was found out. I didn't join the third. They actually believed in politics and would sit round discussing their party's manifesto. Ugh! In all of those the women outnumbered the men.

Now I study Tai Chi and Spanish - I'm outnumbered again.

And two pensioners' groups - I'm outnumbered AND I have to take my wife for protection. The single men have to fight the women off.

Og (who is not exactly a thing of beauty - see AV)

Women probably outnumber men in most groups or clubs- they are more 'joiners' i think. (good advice og) can help w/ networking for jobs too

Check the paper- they list club meetings. Join whatever club will have you (I like oggs idea of joining all* the political and church groups, lol) You can broaden out from there.

 

[gauchecritic]

You're right Snoop, this is the time of year that brings us thoughts about where we are, where we're going and how shit our life is.

It's also a very good time to look at the things that we've accomplished.

What we haven't got is an endless list and always will be that way, even Bill Gates has things he never did, things he won't ever do.

So now is the time to consider the very smallest things that you've done and see how big a list that is.

You're still alive. (Biggest thing on the list) You have computer skills, you write, you interact (even if it's only with your friends here at Lit) You know that at least one girl finds you attractive, you are at least bi-lingual (more?)

Most of these things are transferable skills, you just have to find a different environment in which to apply them.

Introduce yourself and your various skills to new groups, societies and environments.

Probably the best advice I can give you is this: When you look at that girl on the bus/train/in the queue and she catches you looking, don't turn away shy, make your eyes smile and you'll find that she turns away first, if she doesn't turn away then the ice is broken and the world is your oyster.

But yeah, the holiday season is the time that makes you think of what you don't have, when you should really be counting up the things that you do have.

 

[tolyk]

You know, it's that time of the year when you have a quiet moment to think about yourself and your life.

So what does this say about me ?

I'm 24 years old. I'm still living in my parent's basement.
I'm a virgin, never had a girlfriend, never made out.
I have no real family, i.e. no relationship to my family members other than 'Hi' in the morning.
And I have not even a handful of friends.

-----> I'm a boring loser. It's actually a sad thought.
Then again I'd have no problem to live as a loser, it's just that I can't imagine living the rest of my days without ever kissing a girl and experiencing love which I know only from tv.

I know I shouldn't be thinking these thoughts, but I can't help it.

Snoopy,

Snoopy, the only thing that makes you a loser is you thinking it. You really need to get a bit more confidence in yourself.

Honestly, being with a woman isn't that big of a deal to call yourself a loser about. Hell, I'm 23, in the middle of a divorce and now living with my parents again because of the divorce. From my point of view, you definately aren't missing out on much..

Now, I don't actively seek out a relationship, nor do I have one night stands (I've had one, but it wasn't by my choice.. I wanted it to be more)

I don't think of myself as a loser, nor did I before I got into my first relationship (wife). I always saw myself as a social outcast, but that was my own choice. I don't like society, so why would I want to be a part of it?

This wasn't exactly the most inspiring thing I've ever written, but it will do.. to sum it up: Stop beating yourself up and just be happy with each day as it comes.. Relax, just do it

 

[MercyMia]

You know, it's that time of the year when you have a quiet moment to think about yourself and your life.

So what does this say about me ?

I'm 24 years old. I'm still living in my parent's basement.
I'm a virgin, never had a girlfriend, never made out.
I have no real family, i.e. no relationship to my family members other than 'Hi' in the morning.
And I have not even a handful of friends.

-----> I'm a boring loser. It's actually a sad thought.
Then again I'd have no problem to live as a loser, it's just that I can't imagine living the rest of my days without ever kissing a girl and experiencing love which I know only from tv.

I know I shouldn't be thinking these thoughts, but I can't help it.

Snoopy,

Hi Snoopy,

Funny that you think of yourself as a boring loser because that's not what I've observed about you at all on the boards. You seem like a sensitive, thoughtful and caring guy. Gee, get out there (wash those dishes like someone above me suggested) and meet women. They'll see through to your heart. The more I think about the washing dishes idea, the better it sounds because it puts you in active mode so if you feel shy, you can just concentrate on the work until you get your self confidence. Then watch out, because I have a feeling the girls will be lining up to kiss YOU.

Mia

 

[scheherazade_79]

I'm with Lewdandlicentious on this one, Snoop. I know it's not easy, but getting your own place is definitely the way forward. I'm 25 and still living with my parents. I used to have a room right next door to them, but now we've compromised and I 'live' in an extension built onto the side of the house. Having that extra bit of distance between me and them did me the world of good. Actually, it almost did me too much good, because now I've turned into such an enthusiastic dating-girl that now I have no other option but to find my own place so that I can bring beautiful sexy women home.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that having your own place and having a good sex life go hand in hand. As soon as you get your own place, your love life will pick up. Or if your love life picks up first, then you'll automatically be looking for a place of your own


As for thinking about yourself and feeling dissatisfied, there's a better way of doing things. Instead of focusing on the things you haven't done, how about focusing on the things you have, against all odds, managed to do?

I've had the year from hell, but I feel bloody proud of the fact that I've got through it without losing my dignity or falling to pieces. Like you, I don't have a huge circle of friends, but I pride myself on knowing that the friends I have are like gold.

This isn't a forever situation, Snoop. You just have to believe that for every bad experience you go through, you'll always be compensated by a really good one eventually.

 

[TheEarl]

What does it say about you? In empirical terms, sweet fuck all.

Your past and present situation means bugger all in terms of what kind of person you are. From my convs with you, you seem like a good bloke (high praise in English slang) and you're thinking about where the future will take you.

Agreed with the various suggestions of joining societies or clubs. My personal recommendations would be either a theatre group or a ballroom/latin dancing group. In my experience, those groups tend to be very sociable, very physically expressive and fun and tend to havemore women than men. Plus I'm sure the ladies will back me up that a man who can dance properly is sexy.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

So what does this say about me ?

Snoopy,

Don't wear that sad face, Snoopy. C'mon, give me a smile.

To me, what all that says about you is that you want to change the way your life is right now and you are way too harsh on yourself.

Gauche gave you some brilliant advice, and, believe me, it works.

I also agree with what Lew and Sche both said. Once you get out into the world, on your own, and have a place just to call your own, your life will change so much, you might even hanker for quieter days.

You are only 24, Snoopy, get hold of life, with both hands and start enjoying it for exactly what you have got.

You will never have everything you want, that ain't ever gonna happen, but you will look back on this time and wonder what you were so worried about.

Oh, and don't forget to smile, both at others and to yourself - that really is some of the best advice anyone could give you.

Lou

 

[carsonshepherd]

People I know, both single and attached, can't seem to stop themselves from meeting people over the internet, and then getting involved with them in real life. I could give you many examples of couples who met online and ended up married or in long-term partnerships.

I couldn't give advice on how to do that, since I don't do it myself, but just something for you think about.

 

[CharleyH]

Well, Snoop . . . it says you are obviously taking your cock into your hand instead of grabbing life by the balls

 

[BlackShanglan]

The awful daring of a moment's surrender
Which an age of prudence can never retract
By this, and this only, we have existed

Brave that awful surrender, Snoopy. Trust me. Even if you fail, you will have better memories than if you did nothing. When one listens to truly interesting people, the stories of their failures are as fascinating as the annals of their success. The truly charming ones have learned to take pleasure and amusement from each, and so can you.

Shanglan

 

[Liar]

Snoop,

More interaction. Meet people. It's as easy as that. What are your interrests? Any particular hobbies? Find venues for peers, and take the steps to contact them.

I was a major social pariah when I was younger. I was fortunate enough to have my small group of friends dragging me around to meet new people all the time, because I didn't have the "go" to do it myself. But opnce I learned to not be afraid to take that first step, I started to make new aquaintances in many new places. I have always loved to sing. I'm not good enough to do it to go solo, but I did well in a choire. Said and done, I took the phone book, found a whole bunch of amateur church choires, musical groups and similar clusters of people. So I grabbed the phone, called them up and said "Howdy, do you have room for a new member?" Made a hell of a lot of new good friends in a short time.

Got any interrests like that? Doesn't your college have clubs and interrest groups? Get involved with people, and people will get involved with you. If this leads to finding the meaning of life, or your one true love out there, I can't say. (I haven't found either yet.) But it sure as hell increases the odds.

#L

 

[BlackShanglan]

Get involved with people, and people will get involved with you. If this leads to finding the meaning of life, or your one true love out there, I can't say. (I haven't found either yet.) But it sure as hell increases the odds.

It will also increase your chance of keeping that love when you find him/her. It will give you something interesting to offer by way of conversation and activities, which is a great help. What tends to attract most people is not "I'm lonely and want someone to lay me and make me feel wanted" but "I'm having fun. Want to play?"

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

It will also increase your chance of keeping that love when you find him/her. It will give you something interesting to offer by way of conversation and activities, which is a great help. What tends to attract most people is not "I'm lonely and want someone to lay me and make me feel wanted" but "I'm having fun. Want to play?"

Shanglan

God, you're so right. Nothing is less attractive than someone needy. Snoop, you have gotten some truly good advice here. I hope you make that first step and do something with it! Living with parents doesn't have to mean you have no social life.

 

[Match Made In Heaven]

Snoop- I'm just wondering if your life (and/or outlook) had improved any since this post.



Sweets.

 

[Wildcard Ky]

Life is what you make of it. If you choose to make your life in your parents basement, then that's what your life will be.

You can't sit back and wait for all of the great things about life and love to come to you. It generally doesn't work that way. You have to decide that you're going to go out there and take life on.

So many times we hear people from every walk of life, and every situation lament about how long they spent in a bad place but were too afraid to do anything about it. Once they finally tackle the issue head on, they always say their biggest mistake was not doing it sooner. Don't become one of those people.

You're 24. You should be full of piss and vinegar, ready to take on the world. It's not easy. There will be bumps and hard times on the journey. It's inevitible. In the end though, you'll be able to say that you gave it everything you had.

Some song lyrics come to mind for this:

What I've felt, what I've known, never shined through on what I've shown.

Never see, never be, won't see what could have been.

Never free, never me, so I've dubbed thee Unforgiven.