What do *you* think...?

[THROBBS]

I understand that the audience here is going to be different than the general populous. I also suspect that the author's clients are also likely to be somewhat "clustered" on the spectrum, as they are, after all, seeing a "couples therapist". I am sure there are nuggets of truth, or kernels of insight to be gleaned.

"What Men Think About Sex vs. Reality"]What Men Think About Sex vs. Reality

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/samantha-rodman-phd/what-men-think-about-sex-vs-reality_b_5589344.html


My big "take away" is : "fuck you men (and by 'fuck you', I do not mean in any sexually gratifying way — and by 'men', I mean any man who is a monogamous relationship for any length of time). And that goes double, triple etc... if you have children. "she does not want sex, and especially sex from you, because she is bored with you and you are doing wrong anyway — and that's ok, because it is normal."
Oh, and don't even think of masturbating, cuz that will just make it worse.

Ok, I exaggerate.

"...don't worry, next (she'll) tackle all the ways many women are wrong about sex."

 

[may_I_please]

My big "take away" is : "fuck you men (and by 'fuck you', I do not mean in any sexually gratifying way — and by 'men', I mean any man who is a monogamous relationship for any length of time). And that goes double, triple etc... if you have children. "she does not want sex, and especially sex from you, because she is bored with you and you are doing wrong anyway — and that's ok, because it is normal."
Oh, and don't even think of masturbating, cuz that will just make it worse.

Ok, I exaggerate.

"...don't worry, next (she'll) tackle all the ways many women are wrong about sex."

Not read it ...skimmed it (it's late, I'm lazy )

But in answer to your précis
Monogamous for years ...tick
Children...tick
I do want sex...often and hard ...with him...not been bored yet ...constantly evolving ...and Yes to masturbating

But then we don't need a couples counsellor

 

[THROBBS]

Not read it ...skimmed it (it's late, I'm lazy )

But in answer to your précis
Monogamous for years ...tick
Children...tick
I do want sex...often and hard ...with him...not been bored yet ...constantly evolving ...and Yes to masturbating

But then we don't need a couples counsellor

Yay, you guys!

The article struck me as a bit odd that she (the author) was indicating the "majority" of women. Perhaps that is true. ??

 

[dutchrain]

Yay, you guys!

The article struck me as a bit odd that she (the author) was indicating the "majority" of women. Perhaps that is true. ??

It is what I hear from a lot of my friends, if the hour gets late, the level of wine in the bottle(s) low and the conversation turns back to a topic that was thought done with at the start of the evening: married life.

"Things in bed get so dull."
"It is always the same."
"Every time I try something new he falls asleep."

Edit to add: And we almost all have grown kids. No tiny feet dancing into pop&mom's bedroom wanting a story, a drink of water, or just a fresh tuck-in.

 

[THROBBS]

So from over there, it appears that it is the guys who are "dull" and "lifeless".

But that's OKAY! cuz it's normal!

 

[dutchrain]

So from over there, it appears that it is the guys who are "dull" and "lifeless".

But that's OKAY! cuz it's normal!

*grins*

It also might be too many women (of my generation especially maybe) were so eager and happy to please their husbands at the start of the marriage, they 'trained' them to behave as they now think of as being exactly what their wives want.

 

[NotHisLady]

OK, I'll give her point #3 but beyond that this is about 98% utter BS.
Why is she so certain that the problem in every marriage is that the woman is the one who has lost interest in sex?
Setting that aside, her stated goal was to try and "vanquish common misunderstandings about sex for once and for all."
All I see are snarky responses slapping down communication rather than facilitating it.
We visited a couples counselor once upon a time (doesn't work unless the 'couple' is trying btw) and I have a therapist I see now. If either of those people had used the phrase "Sorry, Buddy" during therapy I believe I'd have taken some sort of legal action.
For an educated adult be so dismissive of the area of her profession is more than a little bit off-putting.

 

[THROBBS]

Time for retraining (of somebody).