What do you masturbate to that you would never admit too anyone in your normal life?

This varies a lot, but usually, I think about past lovers and the crazy things we did together. Sometimes it's about crazy fantasies involving a lover in the past that I really wish I had done with and for them.
I often think about missed opportunities where I could/should have shared my desire to be their CFNM toy and let them use me as they wished.
Way back when, I was too shy to push for or just talk about my kinks. I'm not that person anymore.
 
I am currently - and incessently - jacking off to the idea that I3-atlas IS in fact the END - coming for us all. That actually excites me.
 
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