What do you find sexy?

[sandj]

I've been wondering about this question for a while and thought this is probably the best place to get some opinions.

I'm straight, and I've not known too many gays or lesbians, and really none who I know well enough to ask this type of personal question. I mention that in preface to give you an idea of my ignorance and naivete and hopefully to let you know that I'm genuinely curious and certainly hope that I do not come across as an insensitive prick. Anyway, enough chatter, get on with it--

--Do heterosexuals and homosexuals find the same things sexy in their objects of desire? Is a gay man turned on by the same traits and characteristics as a straight woman? Or a heterosexual man and a homosexual woman?--

I know that hetero- and homosexuals can find the same person attractive, but I want to know if that is for the same reasons? For instance, I've noticed in other places on Lit where males and females have expressed attraction to the same celebrities. What I want to know is, what is it about those people that appeals to both sexes? I have a suspicion that it's many of the same reasons but not all, and it's the "not all" part that fascinates me.

It will probably require responses from hetero-, homo-, and bisexuals to answer this fully, so please don't hesitate to respond. (I'm also hoping to get a response from a certain person here who I really miss hearing from ). Tell me what you find attractive in a person (not limited to strictly the physical, either). What's sexy? What turns you on? Is it the sound of someone's voice? The things they say? They way they move or carry themselves? A look? A particular body part? Don't limit your answers; let your imagination and your libdo have free reign.

Thanks,

s

 

[Never]

I think that any differences you see in attraction are more due to gender than sexual orientation. Lesbians are as likely as het men to find any one woman's ass, chest, legs, or face attractive. A nice complexion, healthy figure, and confident body language is universally considered attractive.

Both lesbians and het men feed off of societies notions of what makes a woman attractive and then mixes it with their own idiosyncratic checklist. I think that some lesbians eschew feeding off of normal society for feeding off of some lesbian specific models. I don't see that as being a product of sexual orientation as much as a product of a certain culture defined by sexual orientation.

I cannot speak for gay men but, in my opinion, they tend to place more emphasis on physical appearance than het women. Again, I think that's gender related.

 

[Weevil]

I think it's kind of a ridiculous question only in the sense that there isn't a uniformity in what makes someone desireable in any large group of people let alone the Gay/straight man/woman divides. Whether or not someone is attractive is a personal, subjective feeling.

Even if, say, Never and I both found Angelina Jolie to be a good looking woman, It wouldn't have anything to do with us being straight or gay. I mean, you ask, "Do heterosexuals and homosexuals find the same things sexy in their objects of desire?" but who knows. Two people of the same sexual orientation probably won't find the same thing attractive.

Speaking as another straight guy, it's not like we hold a convention in December where we decide what we're going to find attractive in the coming year.

 

[GaryC]

The attraction that a bi man finds in other men

While I was active with other men what I found attractive in the sense of a man I would pursue was first (and formost) that he was at least bi. A man who was straight was seen in a completely different way from a man I might at some time have sexly. It was almost as though a straight man was of a third gender (with gender one and two being sexually attractive).

Beyond that I looked for men who were active and alert. The men I found to be more passive or just making every effort to be agreeable just deminished in their attraciveness. A man who was more like the alpha male and if he were gay, bright and at least half way mannered, I would be as turned on as I would with a woman who had the sophisticated and artistically adorned that I met in the business world.

 

[MintSoda]

I think that any differences you see in attraction are more due to gender than sexual orientation. Lesbians are as likely as het men to find any one woman's ass, chest, legs, or face attractive. A nice complexion, healthy figure, and confident body language is universally considered attractive.

Both lesbians and het men feed off of societies notions of what makes a woman attractive and then mixes it with their own idiosyncratic checklist. I think that some lesbians eschew feeding off of normal society for feeding off of some lesbian specific models. I don't see that as being a product of sexual orientation as much as a product of a certain culture defined by sexual orientation.

I cannot speak for gay men but, in my opinion, they tend to place more emphasis on physical appearance than het women. Again, I think that's gender related.

I really don't think het men and gay women see attractive the same way. I think there is general over lap in areas where a woman is undeniably beautiful, but most gay women I know (I'm bi myself) aren't attracted to the big fake boobs, big fake hair, and over done make up that seem to dominate heterosexual male posters, magazines and such. I know that isn't the taste of all heterosexul men, but Babe Watch didn't become the highest ranked TV show in the world for a time because of the riveting stories and superb acting. For example most straight men would agree with me that Audrey Hepburn was gorgeous, but I don't agree at all that Cindy Margolis is the perfect woman (most downloaded woman on the internet at one point). I know I'm going to get a TON of guys saying "Oh I hate fake breasts..." yeah whatever, I'm sure there are exceptions, but when talking about generalities the statistics say you're in a minority.

On the other side of that I also don't know how much gay men and straight women agree. From the gay male friends I have their tastes are so vast and ecclectic as a group I don't think they're easily categorizable. Straight women tend to have pretty refined tastes and pretty clear "this is sexy, this is not" and physical is usually only 50% of the equation.

 

[The Mutt]

Oddly, I find tough, hairy women very attractive. The men who turn me on are usually effeminate and hairless.
It's a mystery to me.

 

[MintSoda]

Oddly, I find tough, hairy women very attractive. The men who turn me on are usually effeminate and hairless.
It's a mystery to me.

Body hair on women freaks me out to no end. I think I am exactly the opposite in taste, I like feminine hairless women and masculine tough men.

 

[robbie_boy1]

I like hight and weight proportionate on all, but shaved pubes, nothing sucks worse than gagging on a stray hair in the back of your throat...I am sure one or two can relate. *grins*

 

[MintSoda]

I like hight and weight proportionate on all, but shaved pubes, nothing sucks worse than gagging on a stray hair in the back of your throat...I am sure one or two can relate. *grins*

I won't even go down there on a girl if things aren't smooth. When it comes to eating I don't like hair in my food so why would I want hair in my pussy?

 

[robbie_boy1]

I won't even go down there on a girl if things are smooth. When it comes to eating I don't like hair in my food so why would I want hair in my pussy?

I softly*pussy* and firmly*cock* agree........who says males and females cant agree. bald is beautiful........oh yeah!

 

[Jander1]

Well I'm a bi guy and I know that personality is big a factor for being attracted to either sex for me. Someone I can talk to and have a lot of fun with. There are other factors however, including:
I find a woman's face and ass hotter in general than a mans.
I like the look and feel of a cock better than a pussy.
I love to see a cock explode (only seen one ther than mine).
Also love a mans chest, not too much hair but some is just fine.
I like a woman with huge hard nipples.
I like hearing both sexes groan with orgasm.

 

[snowy ciara]

Bi girl checking in...

I'm thinking it's more of a personality thing for me too. There are a few body parts that I notice right away, like hands and eyes, but the person can have the eyes of an angel and the hands of a Michealangelo and if they have the personality of an ass, I don't like them. On guys, I'm not real fond of scads of body hair, but if the personality rocks, I'm cool. One thing that a good personality doesn't outweigh with me is bad hygeine.

As far as gender goes, I'm all over the scale. Male, female, TG.. It's all good.

 

[jacuzzigal]

In reading the responses here, I'd say what attracts people doesn't differ as much better those of differing sexual orientations as it does just individual preferences and taste. What I find attractive - which is mostly humor, intelligence and a great smile - could be shared by anyone or completely differ from anyone regardless of their being hetero or homosexual.

 

[Northcountryguy]

In reading the responses here, I'd say what attracts people doesn't differ as much better those of differing sexual orientations as it does just individual preferences and taste. What I find attractive - which is mostly humor, intelligence and a great smile - could be shared by anyone or completely differ from anyone regardless of their being hetero or homosexual.

I tend to agree with you, jacuzzigal. Sometimes I think we tend to split ourselves into all these varied sexual, ethnic, political groups and expect that somehow those groups are organically different from each other with tastes exclusive to that group. What it comes down to in the end is that humans are humans despite the labeling, and attraction is as varied as each day is for all of us.
There is no politico-sexual standard for any of us. We love and lust after whomever fits our individual makeup - and that can vary from time to time in our own lives. Vive le difference!