What do you do when...

[impressive]

And I've also found that in a lot of these cases, the longer you stay with them, the more you pull away emotionally, and the less you care--you have to, because they're battering you with this "passion" of theirs, and you, in order to stay true to yourself, armor yourself against their constant attacks. Pretty soon, nothing they say matters to you--even if it's what you've been waiting to hear. Better to pull away, separate, and not become numb and uncaring toward them, so that IF (and it's always an "if" never"when") they come out of this phase, you will want to be with them again.

Agree.

 

[fifty5]

you don't see eye to eye with someone VERY important in your life?

Someone very dear to me recently retired and has used their spare time to get involved in politics. We definitely disagree because we're on different sides. This person constantly spouts their political views to me and wants to debate them with me. I have continuously bowed out of the situation, and asked not to discuss politics, but the comments still come.

Someone I love is becoming in my opinion, a nut job. Not a person well-versed in BOTH sides of the debate, but a bonafide extremist. And now the resulting relationship is...strained.

Anyone else been there? What did you say/do?

You've already had lots of suggestions - the only merit I claim for mine is that it's different, so if you've already tried everything else...

Pick a political issue that's grumbling on and on (so it will still be current when you're ready (or work REALLY fast)) and research it in depth, so you are ready with all the references and sources you need, then drop something into the conversation so that your friend picks it up and starts to rant. Then tear them to pieces - citing specific evidence, numbers and references to authorities, so your friend just has to lose the argument (or be seen to claim something as ridiculous as that the USA is NOT a union of states/that the UK is not a kingdom uniting countries). Have all the facts ready so that you win the argument on irrefutably logical grounds.

Most folk, having lost miserably, won't want to repeat that, so won't stick their fists up for another round. Some will need a second bout before they stop fighting. You know your friend much better than I do, so you are in a better position to know if you need one, two, or maybe even three topics that you know you can win.

No-one likes losing an argument. If your friend discovers that that is the result, he/she will stop taking the risk.

And just maybe - best of all possible worlds - they might find your arguments compelling enough to change their stance...

Good luck with this one - I know myself how distressing it can be when someone you respect starts talking like an asshole.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Hell, Eli, I live that scenario! ("Hi", BTW ) Amy was an active and staunch member of the Republican Party and I've always been a pinko socialist liberal Democrat.

After the first fight we had over it, we decided that we would, once a year, give each person an uninterrupted 1/2 hour to convince the other of the "correct" political views. The rules are you have to listen with an open mind and that the subject can not be brought up again unless the "other" person specifically asked about something. We both do a LOT of prep work before our presentation and it clarifies our positions immensely.

It works pretty well. We know that we've been listened to (I got Amy to vote for Obama and she got me to believe in the elimination of unfunded Federal Mandates) and there is no pressure or threat of a preemptive "political spew".

P.S. If you break the rules you don't get laid for a week. Neither one of us has ever dared risk it!