What do you do when you're depressed to pull yourself up?

[FurryFury]

i do not have any patented answers for you. i wish i did.
in 2003 i cried myself to sleep for a week solid, due to a breakdown and i had no one that gave a damn if i was dead or alive. i just woke up one day and told myself enough is damn well enough and i have been my real self ever since, completely in control and i keep it bottled up. i have no where for it to go so i just keep a lid on it under control.
i no longer feel anything. no more letting myself get out of control. "I" have never had depression. "I" have an anger problem. but with my new meds, i am better.

take care.

maybe some day i will find a way to let go, but that means finding someone that cares first.
wolfie

Hi Wolfie!

Saying you are on meds indicates that you have a doctor you talk to about these things at least, right?

I am not so depressed now thank goodness! I do have people who care and to talk to. Yesterday I seem to have pissed off someone in a SRP and I am anxious about school and work because it's all coming roaring at me like a runaway train but I'm doing okay considering all that.

You can talk with me anytime!

Bottling up feels necessary sometimes, I know but it scares me because it has to come out sometime. Most of my depression is anger, not dealt with correctly turned inside. I once got a book, I think it was called, The Anger Management Book. I should go down to the basement and bring it up. It had exercises to help. The more adult we get, the harder it sometimes is, to just feel and let go of our emotions in the normal ways.

Anyway I hope you find someone you can hold close and tell you secret heart to someday soon.

In the meantime.

*HUGS*

Fury

Depression sucks doesn't it?

Hi Nightbird!

Yes it really, really does and not just for what it can do to the individual but also for how it affects everyone around them.

To me it seems a little too self indulgent and I wonder how I can find the time to be down when I'm so busy anyway. I'm better now though, thank goodness.

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

I am so excited about tomorrow. I get to hang out with about 150 other storyteller/ librarians, two of which are beloved friends. One taught me how to do storytelling when I first started and is one of the most giving, smartest, warmest, kinkiest friends I have. The other is the best ex boss in my life. She is inspirational and always puts the patrons first. I can't wait to soak up the good vibes there!

This is for an all day workshop that will include donuts, lunch, snacks and best of all hanging with my mostly, sister storytellers! He he he!

Yep, I'm way looking forward to the day!

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

So this evil bitch ex boss of mine, showed up at my workshop today which took a great deal of fun out of it!

*grr*

Why did she even show? She's a publicly vocal toxic bitch even, it couldn't have helped her brown nosing.

She alienated a bunch of other people there with her attitude.

Incompetent tumor, hell, she is less attractive than a tumor. *grr*

Oh I know! It got her out of doing any actual work! Yeah that's probably it! Why she bothered to show up at the workshop. Because if she was actually working someone might wise up and figure out she is incapable of doing her job in any case.

So, now I'm even more tired and stressed but I'll be fine! Really. I always am. See me be fine?

*false bright smile*

*grr*


Fury

 

[mdiaz451]

Please wait in patience for the light of new found joy to lift your spirit again.

Hang in there.

 

[FurryFury]

Please wait in patience for the light of new found joy to lift your spirit again.

Hang in there.

Thanks Mdiaz451!

I'm working on it. I'm meditating and having a glass of wine at night. Just trying to relax and let go of how negative, angry and sad, I get from thoughts of that woman and what she is doing to my former haven.


Fury

 

[raven2]

So this evil bitch ex boss of mine, showed up at my workshop today which took a great deal of fun out of it!

*grr*

Why did she even show? She's a publicly vocal toxic bitch even, it couldn't have helped her brown nosing.

She alienated a bunch of other people there with her attitude.

Incompetent tumor, hell, she is less attractive than a tumor. *grr*

Oh I know! It got her out of doing any actual work! Yeah that's probably it! Why she bothered to show up at the workshop. Because if she was actually working someone might wise up and figure out she is incapable of doing her job in any case.

So, now I'm even more tired and stressed but I'll be fine! Really. I always am. See me be fine?

*false bright smile*

*grr*


Fury

Hi Fury,

Sorry to hear that she ruined your workshop.. And you were looking forward to it so much. Hope you are having a better day today. People like that are a royal pain but at least you don't have to deal with her on a daily basis anymore. Will PM you tonight.

 

[FurryFury]

Life is looking up tonight. I've been so stressed this week. I pushed to go to my favorite Italian restaurant tonight. I felt soothed by the food. The Sicillain coffee made me get high way before I would normally feel the effects. Then again I haven't had enough sleep this week and I am on sinus meds that I am not supposed to drink on. Oops! Like I care.

Fury

 

[La Kajira]

I've just gotten over one of these dark spells. I hesitated to post here at first, but why not? To be truthful, I have everything a person could want. A man that adores me, who lets me stay home and take care of things, be a typical June Cleaver housewife.

Two beautiful littles, two cats that love me, two puppies that are so silly fun that I can never be aroudn them and not smile. Etc, etc. However, I was so BLACK, I couldn't write. I couldn't find my sex drive, I couldn't cook, I couldn't care less what the house looked like.

Clean towels? We have no clean towels? Oh. Well, maybe later I'll go start a load...

That sort of thing. I don't know what it was, exactly, that pulled me out of it, but I exploded. My sex drive went through the roof, I wrote up a storm, and my house is cleaner than it usually is for company even. Sometimes I think LIFE just comes along and gets on our nerves, more so than usual.

When I'm in one of these funks, I just have to ride them out. I have tried everything, and nothing works but time.

I know this probably doesn't help you at all, but suddenly I feel better.... lol...

 

[FurryFury]

I've just gotten over one of these dark spells. I hesitated to post here at first, but why not? To be truthful, I have everything a person could want. A man that adores me, who lets me stay home and take care of things, be a typical June Cleaver housewife.

Two beautiful littles, two cats that love me, two puppies that are so silly fun that I can never be aroudn them and not smile. Etc, etc. However, I was so BLACK, I couldn't write. I couldn't find my sex drive, I couldn't cook, I couldn't care less what the house looked like.

Clean towels? We have no clean towels? Oh. Well, maybe later I'll go start a load...

That sort of thing. I don't know what it was, exactly, that pulled me out of it, but I exploded. My sex drive went through the roof, I wrote up a storm, and my house is cleaner than it usually is for company even. Sometimes I think LIFE just comes along and gets on our nerves, more so than usual.

When I'm in one of these funks, I just have to ride them out. I have tried everything, and nothing works but time.

I know this probably doesn't help you at all, but suddenly I feel better.... lol...

I know just what you mean about having everything. I do tell my gf's that stay home, to take time doing things that matter to them out of the house. That is even more important if you have small kids.

I'm glad you are feeling better!

*hugs*

Fury

 

[cremebrulee]

My .02

I've been reading through this thread looking for answers, laughing a little and nodding in agreeance. I have been on and off depression meds and wont go back unless they bind me and tranquilize me to get them into me. I had horrible reactions to nearly ALL of them, to the point that now I suffer from anxiety as a residual effect of one of my "reactions".
For those who the meds work, I am glad to hear it. For me, I have been two fucking years without writing more than crappy sappy poetry that gets tossed into the garbage pile (who aims at the trashcan anyway?) and that's been detrimental to my carreer as a songwriter and actress... I've gained weight after an injury that's left me partially disabled and now who I was is not who I am and I don't recognise the face in the mirror.
Depression sucks. No two ways about it.

I just go fishing.

Glad you're doing better, FF ~ REALLY I AM!!!

It's good to see a triumph over this beast once in a while


~Creme

 

[FurryFury]

I've been reading through this thread looking for answers, laughing a little and nodding in agreeance. I have been on and off depression meds and wont go back unless they bind me and tranquilize me to get them into me. I had horrible reactions to nearly ALL of them, to the point that now I suffer from anxiety as a residual effect of one of my "reactions".
For those who the meds work, I am glad to hear it. For me, I have been two fucking years without writing more than crappy sappy poetry that gets tossed into the garbage pile (who aims at the trashcan anyway?) and that's been detrimental to my carreer as a songwriter and actress... I've gained weight after an injury that's left me partially disabled and now who I was is not who I am and I don't recognise the face in the mirror.
Depression sucks. No two ways about it.

I just go fishing.

Glad you're doing better, FF ~ REALLY I AM!!!

It's good to see a triumph over this beast once in a while


~Creme

Hi Creme!

*HUGS*

I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time! I'm trying hard to keep myself undercontrol right now. Trying not to fall into another bout of depression. There is just so much stress and sadness right now.

All we can do is our best, given the energy and knowledge we have.

Fury

 

[La Kajira]

Thanks Fury, I am.

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks Fury, I am.

Good I'm glad!

*hugs*

Fury

 

[RhymeFairy]

Experience excitement,
Exposed ... Explored.
Naughtiness unleashed,
on this poor unsuspecting
woman. Bringing abandonment
home. Driving needs, coasting
... singing through, sizzling
veins, of wantons craving.

Pictures of every way
possible to drink, of lovers
juicy ... jelly. Binding close,
with cuffs of steel, cobwebs
of netting, restricting
... restraining from movement.

Come explore, with feathers
of silk. Sensually smooth, tickles,
laps around anal openings, hairy
chest chuckles.

Chilly cold ice, nubbing nipples,
nipping encamping in meadows
of sheer shaved snatches.

Massaging oils, gels of gentle
coercion. Warming the forbidden
flesh. Fondling mosaic muscles,
mapping ... tiptoeing maneuvers
across tired tiger tight temples
of maidenly worship.

Toe suck those arched heels,
of narrow, bitten pathways.
Whipping ... Extracting eager
moans, masked with leather
spikes, ... spanks of merriment.

Metamorphic mouse turned
teasing pussy, in the ambiance
of slaves ... masters, dungeons.

Delightfully dance, dripping
hot ... liquid wax, waltzing
over whelped white skin.

Come away with me. Abandon
all thought. Open yourself to
feelings of epic extravagance.

I can make the pictures,
a reality. Join me, in sensational
sexual dungeons, of mind
and body ...




think this would make my day ~

 

[FurryFury]

Experience excitement,
Exposed ... Explored.
Naughtiness unleashed,
on this poor unsuspecting
woman. Bringing abandonment
home. Driving needs, coasting
... singing through, sizzling
veins, of wantons craving.

Pictures of every way
possible to drink, of lovers
juicy ... jelly. Binding close,
with cuffs of steel, cobwebs
of netting, restricting
... restraining from movement.

Come explore, with feathers
of silk. Sensually smooth, tickles,
laps around anal openings, hairy
chest chuckles.

Chilly cold ice, nubbing nipples,
nipping encamping in meadows
of sheer shaved snatches.

Massaging oils, gels of gentle
coercion. Warming the forbidden
flesh. Fondling mosaic muscles,
mapping ... tiptoeing maneuvers
across tired tiger tight temples
of maidenly worship.

Toe suck those arched heels,
of narrow, bitten pathways.
Whipping ... Extracting eager
moans, masked with leather
spikes, ... spanks of merriment.

Metamorphic mouse turned
teasing pussy, in the ambiance
of slaves ... masters, dungeons.

Delightfully dance, dripping
hot ... liquid wax, waltzing
over whelped white skin.

Come away with me. Abandon
all thought. Open yourself to
feelings of epic extravagance.

I can make the pictures,
a reality. Join me, in sensational
sexual dungeons, of mind
and body ...




think this would make my day ~

Damned right! Thanks for those luscious thoughts Rhyme Fairy!

Umm!

Such good yummy thoughts!

Fury

 

[RhymeFairy]

Damned right! Thanks for those luscious thoughts Rhyme Fairy!

Umm!

Such good yummy thoughts!

Fury

your very welcome.
Think I shall submit it
in the next few days !
I wrote this and just
fell outta my chair ~

grins*

 

[FurryFury]

your very welcome.
Think I shall submit it
in the next few days !
I wrote this and just
fell outta my chair ~

grins*

Too cool RhymeFairy! I wish I could do such lovely poetry!

*huggles*

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

Distraction and frivolity, can they work to head off depression?

Just before Hurricane Katrina, that and a lot of other things were bothering me. They were threatening to pull me into another dark hole. I told my husband, who insists on watching the weather channel and other "bad" things all the time, listen if I need to help you do something to get ready, tell me, otherwise I don't want to hear about the hurricane.

I had to tell him that many times before he finally got it.

I then set off on a campaign of frivolity to distract myself. Posted a lot about nothing very serious. Guess what? It seemed to work. I did not get into another bout of depression. In the mean time so people left my online life another thing that could get me down.

It wasn't until I tried to track down my relatives that I got upset but even that was not, I believe as great of a sad state as I would have otherwise have.

So, distraction and frivolity, can they work to head off depression? For me yes but then I believe mine are not clinical depressions anyway and so may be milder that which many people suffer.

Fury

 

[bridgeburner]

I dunno, Fury. Plenty of people who suffer from clinical depression self-medicate whether it be with drugs or alcohol or food or sex or adrenaline or some other form of pain-numbing or distracting outlet which I consider obsessive immersion in escapist entertainment to be.

I am not by any means knocking it. God knows it's likely saved my hide on multiple occasions. I figure when you feel like death, anything that keeps you going is fair game so long as you're not victimizing someone else. Sometimes it just helps to stay really, really busy so you don't have time to dwell.


-B

 

[shy slave]

Have been re-reading this thread with interest.

Very recently had a personal shock which will stay will me forever.
I know that the initial intense shock and pain will not stay with me, but the long term effects will always be there.

FurryFury I can understand about focusing on the frivolity; it has helped for short periods of time.

I am currently allowing myself to feel however I want to feel.

Happy, sad, crying, erotic, etc

Being able to escape life by walking quietly with my own thoughts, focus on a practical task, read the boards here and post nonsense (not up to any deep and intense thought at present) is helping.

Its good to know that although essentially a BDSM forum we can gain support from each other in other aspects of our lives.

 

[La Kajira]

Being "gifted" isn't anywhere close to the intellectual range where being asexual becomes understandable. She can be real smart, and be valedictorian and go to an Ivy league school and still have a kicking and uninhibited social life.

If she gets a perfect score on the AHSME, let her sit home and work on her warp drive all day. She just might build it one day.

I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but I've seen A LOT of kids suffer from not being pushed to be well rounded. I was probably one of them to some degree. I never had an influence in my life that stressed the importance of athletics. I had a LOT of catching up to do when I realized that the dumb jocks weren't all so dumb after all.

I was skimming along, reading and lurking, and this really hit me.

Once upon a time ago, in the far distant past, I had a choice between going to school or going the blue collar/ factory path. I actually went to my local community college to sign up for culinary degree, flipped through some of the required classes *and their attached pricetags* and literally stalked out steaming.

What the hell does gym have to do with cooking?

And why would I need or want a foreign language?

My husband has always held that to have a degree means, and should continue to mean, that you are a well rounded person educationally wise. That anyone wanting to just learn the nuts and bolts should seek out a trade school, or just take a class here and there.

I cannot say I agree with this, or even understand it, but then again I'm so practical sometimes I scare myself.

 

[graceanne]

Have been re-reading this thread with interest.

Very recently had a personal shock which will stay will me forever.
I know that the initial intense shock and pain will not stay with me, but the long term effects will always be there.

FurryFury I can understand about focusing on the frivolity; it has helped for short periods of time.

I am currently allowing myself to feel however I want to feel.

Happy, sad, crying, erotic, etc

Being able to escape life by walking quietly with my own thoughts, focus on a practical task, read the boards here and post nonsense (not up to any deep and intense thought at present) is helping.

Its good to know that although essentially a BDSM forum we can gain support from each other in other aspects of our lives.

*hugs* You can make it, I have great faith in your strength. I know you're hurting, and you'll always hurt, but things will get better. *more hugs*

 

[FurryFury]

I dunno, Fury. Plenty of people who suffer from clinical depression self-medicate whether it be with drugs or alcohol or food or sex or adrenaline or some other form of pain-numbing or distracting outlet which I consider obsessive immersion in escapist entertainment to be.

I am not by any means knocking it. God knows it's likely saved my hide on multiple occasions. I figure when you feel like death, anything that keeps you going is fair game so long as you're not victimizing someone else. Sometimes it just helps to stay really, really busy so you don't have time to dwell.


-B

Good to hear Bridgeburner!

Yeah I've noticed the keeping too busy thing a lot in others with depression issues. Me, I'm always too busy and trying to find some peace and solitude. So I tend to try to jump off the life carousel and go do something else for a while. I think the keeping busy thing is some illusion of control or something but whatever works for anyone is generally okay by me.

Fury

Have been re-reading this thread with interest.

Very recently had a personal shock which will stay will me forever.
I know that the initial intense shock and pain will not stay with me, but the long term effects will always be there.

FurryFury I can understand about focusing on the frivolity; it has helped for short periods of time.

I am currently allowing myself to feel however I want to feel.

Happy, sad, crying, erotic, etc

Being able to escape life by walking quietly with my own thoughts, focus on a practical task, read the boards here and post nonsense (not up to any deep and intense thought at present) is helping.

Its good to know that although essentially a BDSM forum we can gain support from each other in other aspects of our lives.

Allowing yourself to feel however you want to? Going through those feelings, is very healthy! Good for you Shy! I hope you are feeling much better soon but even if you're not I hope you continue to find people who care and want to help you here and other places in your life.

*HUGS*

Fury

I was skimming along, reading and lurking, and this really hit me.

Once upon a time ago, in the far distant past, I had a choice between going to school or going the blue collar/ factory path. I actually went to my local community college to sign up for culinary degree, flipped through some of the required classes *and their attached pricetags* and literally stalked out steaming.

What the hell does gym have to do with cooking?

And why would I need or want a foreign language?

My husband has always held that to have a degree means, and should continue to mean, that you are a well rounded person educationally wise. That anyone wanting to just learn the nuts and bolts should seek out a trade school, or just take a class here and there.

I cannot say I agree with this, or even understand it, but then again I'm so practical sometimes I scare myself.

My husband has a blue collar job. It has a lot of advantages over a while collar job.

He happens to also be very intelligent and well rounded.

Colleges and their requirements are sometimes a pain in the ass. Keep in mind they are, on some levels, a business not to mention all about being an institution. I'm not saying they don't have good reasons for some of their rules but, the institution is about being an institution and not about any one individual's needs.

I hope you have found a way to enjoy or at least appreciate the advantages in what you do.

Fury

 

[La Kajira]

*tackle huggling Furry*

Sorry... lost control of myself there for
a minute...



Yes, I have a good life, one I need to
appreciate more. Sometimes I get so hung
up on what I don't have, I forget how fortunate
I am in the things I do have.

But I'm trying!!

 

[FurryFury]

*tackle huggling Furry*

Sorry... lost control of myself there for
a minute...



Yes, I have a good life, one I need to
appreciate more. Sometimes I get so hung
up on what I don't have, I forget how fortunate
I am in the things I do have.

But I'm trying!!

Good for you Shy and please, feel free to lose control of yourself more often if you want to tackle hug! I love hugs!

Today it was early and I was on my way to my three gigs, I wasn't feeling so hot cause as usual, I didn't get near enough sleep. One thing I have found that REALLY can help at times like that is music!

I have a CD in my car just for when I feel like crap in the morning. It's like positive affirmations on CD but it has a song called, "I Feel Good," with Stephanie Mills. I usually also listen to "If I Were Your Woman" on the same CD after that. They are both very sexy songs and they tend to get me up by the time I arrive at my destination.

Last night my daughter had a rough night in Aikido. She was very sad that she got too overheated to continue. On the way home she said she needed music. Shuffling through my car CD's to my surprise she decided she wanted Nirvana. That really helped her feel sooooo much better.

So, I just wanted to share that with folks. Music can transport me. I love singing to it, dancing to is, immersing myself in it, all kinds of styles for all kinds of moods, it's brilliant!

Fury