What do you call the relationship

[magdalene]

How do you describe your relationship or refer to your Dom/me or sub to vanilla friends or family members? If you happen to be married, then I guess you could still say husband or wife. But for those who are not married, what terms do you use? I am thinking that there may be times when using terms like Dom/me or Master or Mistress or sub or slave might not go over well, but I have no idea what to say instead.

Magdalene

 

[Shadowsdream]

How do you describe your relationship or refer to your Dom/me or sub to vanilla friends or family members? If you happen to be married, then I guess you could still say husband or wife. But for those who are not married, what terms do you use? I am thinking that there may be times when using terms like Dom/me or Master or Mistress or sub or slave might not go over well, but I have no idea what to say instead.

Magdalene

The relationship is referred to as Mistress and slave to family, friends and other BDSMers...about 10% of the time through vanilla necessity the term is partner!

 

[catalina_francisco]

For us it is made easier by marriage, though Master also made the decision to tell the majority of his vanilla friends, and one of his family members that I am his slave and he my Master. They seem cool with it, though we suspect they also do not understand the reality and may think we are just a bit kinky in the bedroom.

Catalina

 

[ownedsubgal]

most vanillas know us as Father and daughter, which is the truth, so that makes it rather simple for us. a few vanillas know of us as a romantic couple, but exactly what type, we never say. but for the most part, he's simply "Dad" and i'm simply his little girl.

 

[Desdemona]

For now, we refer to each other as "friends" and smile mysteriously. Most people figure out pretty quickly that there is more to it than that. They just aren't sure how much more. LOL

 

[Guest]

We are lucky . . .

to be husband and wife.

And most friends and family do not know the true reality of our situation.

*sigh*

I couldn't be happier!

 

[A Desert Rose]

Nothing.

I don't have a Dom. ;-)

If I did, I would call it a dog and pony show....
(Okay, sorry. I'm feeling like that, again tonight. Nevermind my humor. It's all about me and no one else. LOL)

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I call it mine.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Okay, on the serious side....

I would call my (once and again and again) relationship, a shell game... now you see it, now you don't.

Where the hell did it go? LOL

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Okay, on the serious side....

I would call my (once and again and again) relationship, a shell game... now you see it, now you don't.

Where the hell did it go? LOL

I'm keeping it in a secure location...if you are nice, I'll tell you where it is...




(I'm lying, but I'd still like to see you trying to get it out of me!)

 

[A Desert Rose]

I'm keeping it in a secure location...if you are nice, I'll tell you where it is...




(I'm lying, but I'd still like to see you trying to get it out of me!)

Ohhhh, it's not what I would want out of you or... errr... maybe it is .... lol

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Ohhhh, it's not what I would want out of you or... errr... maybe it is .... lol

*grins*

Good times, babydoll!

 

[A Desert Rose]

*grins*

Good times, babydoll!

Oh my God.... you never met him, did you? There's no way you could know....sigh... that was his pet name for me.

;-)

 

[cellis]

He is my friend to my family and others who do not know or understand the nature of my BDSM relationship with Him.... otherwise He is my Master or Dom...

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Oh my God.... you never met him, did you? There's no way you could know....sigh... that was his pet name for me.

;-)

I hope I brought you more happy memories than not.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I hope I brought you more happy memories than not.

Oh yea.... you did.

;-)

 

[magdalene]

thanks for the input

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. Friend sounds like a good term to use with people who aren't aware or don't understand the nature of the relationship. It's simple, yet kind of vague.

Of course I plan to ask Him if there is a particular way He wishes me to refer to Him in such situations, but He is out of the country on a business trip until the middle of next week so I will have no contact with Him until then. The question did not occur to me before He left, but now that He is away, apparently I have plenty of time (too much time, probably) to think of things I would like to talk with Him about. It's going to be a long weekend.

Desert Rose, I hope you find all the happiness you deserve in a relationship.

Magdalene

 

[James G 5]

Nothing.

I don't have a Dom. ;-)

If I did, I would call it a dog and pony show....
(Okay, sorry. I'm feeling like that, again tonight. Nevermind my humor. It's all about me and no one else. LOL)

Which one of yopu was which?
Did you have harneses & tails & stuff?
Sounds wonderfully kinky....
I mean, I know puupy play, and I know pony play
But combining them...wow...

 

[A Desert Rose]

Desert Rose, I hope you find all the happiness you deserve in a relationship.

Thanks. All things happen for a reason and all things come in good time.

Which one of yopu was which?
Did you have harneses & tails & stuff?
Sounds wonderfully kinky....
I mean, I know puupy play, and I know pony play
But combining them...wow...

Yea, I tell you, we were a hit when we took this show on the road.

;-)

 

[James G 5]

Yea, I tell you, we were a hit when we took this show on the road.

;-)

Well, I see now the thought of it sent my spelling to hell
But I'd love to see video

 

[Ms_Kat]

I'm married

but I wanted to answer anyway, if you don't mind. (If you do, well, it's really too late, isn't it?)


My husband responds to me with "Yes, Ma'am," and "No, Ma'am," all the time. This raises some eyebrows, but no one really seems to have a problem with it. I love it and it sets a great example for my kids. (The older one's teacher says he is the most respectful second grader she has seen in twenty years.)

He also calls me, from time to time, his "goddess of love" or "the owner of my heart and body". These are a bit more likely to raise eyebrows, but most women throw a wistful glance at their husband when he does it. The "goddess" thing was hard for my Southern Baptist preacher father-in-law, but we soothed him by pointing out that God knows we use a little "g" and exactly how it is meant. He still stiffens a little, but he's a gruff old fart anyway.

I've openly called my husband my "love-slave" in front of our friends from time to time and everyone thinks it is wonderful that after twenty years we are still so hot for each other. I've even said, in front of my mother-in-law, "Mommy's got a big surprise for her little man tonight." She almost shit in the cookies.

Basically, I'd just say to be relaxed about it and people will follow your lead.


Hugs,


Kat

 

[esclave_PP]

I am so in awe of you Ms_Kat -- that is wonderful! Your husband is lucky to have a top as compassionate as you!

I would agree with Ms_Kat -- just call yourselves what feels right and comfy and works in your situation. Different situations, different labels?

 

[Ms_Kat]

Stop it, you're making me blush

Ok, maybe a little more.


Thank you.

Hugs

Kat

 

[Never]

I call my slave "right hand" in public but in private I call it "my right hand".

 

[Netzach]

LOL. Awesome.

That's the only slave, I have to say, that I've ever found to always do what I want it to, exactly, perfectly, every time.