What do I need? equipment advice

[learnbydoing]

Hi all, been a bit of a lurker for some time but this is the first time I've had anything to post about. Always had an interest in certain parts of the BDSM lifestyle and practices but for the first time I have found a partner who I found, to my surprise, seems to share this interest.

We've been 'playing' for a while now and it seems like now is the time to 'step things up a notch' by getting some appropriate equipment rather than using whatever happens to be lying around to tie, gag, spank etc. My main concern is that some of these things could be unsafe (always take the safety of both of us as my top priority) also 'approprite things' aren't always to hand/possible to find. She enjoys spanking, restraint, light nipple torture, gagging, blindfolding, light 'rapeplay', light humiliation and following instruction.

So my question is what should I get as a 'starter kit'? and of that what should I buy as purpose made 'adult toys' and what can be other items 're-purposed'? As when it comes down to it we are both still students and so money is always a factor.
I have my own ideas on what i need and 'repurposing' but hope you all will suggest more and also confirm my own thoughts.

Many thanks for reading and advice and also apologies if this has been asked before but by searches found nothing relevant.

PS. was just perfecting my post when my windows decided it was time to reboot for an update... grr thought I'd switched it off on this machine- so had to totally re-write it feel like I'm forgetting part of it now.... grr



TL;DR - advice on bondage equipment for beginner (also what everyday items can be 'repurposed'?)

 

[BiBunny]

You actually don't need a whole lot of fancy equipment just starting out. Here are some of my ideas:

Bondage: Rope (duh), chains and locks if you're so inclined (though you have to get creative or there's not a lot you can do with them), Vetrap (cheap, only sticks to itself, and comes in a ton of pretty colors).

Spanking: The back side of a hairbrush, wooden spoons (make sure they're not splintered first), a belt, a flip-flop, one of those smallish cutting boards that's shaped kind of like a paddle.

Nipple torture: Clothespins, those "chip clip" things, binder clips, damn near anything you can think of that pinches.

Gags: A piece of duct tape over the mouth works in a pinch (as long as she doesn't have really sensitive skin) or a piece of fabric stuffed in her mouth and then tied around her head so she can't spit it out. You can also rig up one of these with a wiffle golf ball and a strap or string of some sort.

Blindfolds: A piece of cheap fabric long enough to tie around her head--can also double as a gag, as mentioned above--or, if she likes having her whole head encased, a pillowcase.

Honestly, unless there's some kind of toy you're dying to try, I wouldn't buy too much fancy stuff yet. I've bought SO MUCH SHIT, and I've either disliked or been "meh" about most of it.

However, if you want actual sex toys, like vibrators or dildos, you'll definitely want to purchase those.

I hoped that helped a little.

 

[learnbydoing]

Whilst other's replies will be appreciated too of course that is some great advice. Thanks a lot!

I was mostly worried about safety and some household things not being appropriate; like I kept reading that you have to use special bondage rope as normal ropes are too rough and will chafe but thinking about it on the 'adult toy' websites their advice is probably tainted with a wish to sell you junk .

Thanks again new posting here but already love it. thankyou for the great reception!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Good advice from Teh Bunneh. Pay attention; she's smart.

There's a whole 'nother use for about 80-90% of your non-powered kitchen utensils (and some of the powered ones, too! ), and it's her butt cheeks (the whole 'nother use, since this sentence is just a tad convoluted). Pancake turners, spatulas, wooden (or nylon/non-stick use) spoons, whatthehellever your perverted* little mind can come up with.

Unless she's into serious pain, leave the binder clips in your desk drawer. Other than that, though, there are a LOT of things that do pinchy stuff that can be a lot of fun. If you're going to buy wooden spring-loaded clothespins (yes, they can still be found in some stores!), do NOT get the cheapest ones they have. I've learned that just about everyone except the most hardened of masochists isn't very fond of having one remove splinters from tender bits with tweezers.

Have fun, have lots of hot sweaty monkey sex, and be safe, so you can do it all over again and again and again!

ETA: * - Oh. Use of the word "perverted." Around here, that's not a bad thing.

 

[BiBunny]

Whilst other's replies will be appreciated too of course that is some great advice. Thanks a lot!

I was mostly worried about safety and some household things not being appropriate; like I kept reading that you have to use special bondage rope as normal ropes are too rough and will chafe but thinking about it on the 'adult toy' websites their advice is probably tainted with a wish to sell you junk .

Thanks again new posting here but already love it. thankyou for the great reception!

You're totally right. They're just trying to sell you shit.

Good advice from Teh Bunneh. Pay attention; she's smart.

There's a whole 'nother use for about 80-90% of your non-powered kitchen utensils (and some of the powered ones, too! ), and it's her butt cheeks (the whole 'nother use, since this sentence is just a tad convoluted). Pancake turners, spatulas, wooden (or nylon/non-stick use) spoons, whatthehellever your perverted* little mind can come up with.

Unless she's into serious pain, leave the binder clips in your desk drawer. Other than that, though, there are a LOT of things that do pinchy stuff that can be a lot of fun. If you're going to buy wooden spring-loaded clothespins (yes, they can still be found in some stores!), do NOT get the cheapest ones they have. I've learned that just about everyone except the most hardened of masochists isn't very fond of having one remove splinters from tender bits with tweezers.

Have fun, have lots of hot sweaty monkey sex, and be safe, so you can do it all over again and again and again!

ETA: * - Oh. Use of the word "perverted." Around here, that's not a bad thing.

Dammit, I let my own nipple torture favorites slip in again, didn't I?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Whilst other's replies will be appreciated too of course that is some great advice. Thanks a lot!

I was mostly worried about safety and some household things not being appropriate; like I kept reading that you have to use special bondage rope as normal ropes are too rough and will chafe but thinking about it on the 'adult toy' websites their advice is probably tainted with a wish to sell you junk .

Thanks again new posting here but already love it. thankyou for the great reception!

Heh. You have pretty much the right take on the adult toy websites. Cotton rope is really really good for gals with tender skin; nylon boat-type rope you should probably save for the hardened masochists I mentioned in my previous post Generally speaking, when it comes to rope and other binding materials, check it out against your own skin, rubbing some of it briskly against the inside of your forearm/elbow area. If it's not too harsh for you, it likely won't be for her.

BTW, a lot of folks who are into making their own toys have a big love affair with Home Depot (aka Dom Depot), Lowe's, and similar stores...

 

[Sir_Winston54]

... Dammit, I let my own nipple torture favorites slip in again, didn't I?

Yeah, darlin', but that's okay. I just have it stuck on the top of my head about those things 'cuz I almost got my head handed to me once...

 

[learnbydoing]

thanks for the clarifications.

I already bought some cheap leather wrist cuffs online today as I likes the way they look and hey- it's christmas - otherwise think I'll be able to keep things pretty affordable now with your advice.

Others continue to be welcome to comment ofc but you've both given me plenty to be going on with for now. Thanks!
just bought some vetrap online- sounds like fun stuff

 

[CutieMouse]

Sick, sick little thing that I am, I recently saw this -

and instantly thought "what a kick ass pervertable!" (For the uninitiated, it's a lemon reamer/juicer. )

So, yeah... the theory that utilizing everyday items (supplemented by a healthy dose of common sense) is somehow less safe than the super special [often expensive] stuff that would give friends/roommates/co-workers/grandma a stroke should they stumble upon it?

Meh.

I've been doing kinkier sorts of things for almost 10 years now, and the only "official" sex toys I own are a couple of glass dildos... which, come to think of it, get used *maybe* once or twice a year.

Off the top of my head, one could turn the following into sex toys -

clothespins
hairbrush
good wooden spoon (olive wood or maple)
soft nylon rope (home depot)
chopsticks & rubber bands
belts
Tiger Balm
Ben Gay
damn near anything penis shaped (covered with a condom)
soap
panties (great gag)
dried rice
pennies
paper (paper cuts)
lemon juice
carbiner clip thingies (mountain climbers use them)
smooth chain (home depot)
velcro
vet wrap
nylon webbing (with buckle clips on the ends)

One of The Men™ invited a friend of his to watch [us] the other week, and the dude showed up with a freaking SUITCASE of BDSM gear. I politely watched and listened as he unpacked/displayed/bombastically explained the importance and blahblahblah of all this stuff (my lover was grabbing a quick shower)...

By the time he was done I was so bored that I forgot to hold my tongue and found myself saying "Actually I don't do bondage [bad joints]; besides all he has to do is tell me to hold still. And the deerskin flogger is beautiful, but I prefer things like his hands and/or my beechwood paddle style hairbrush - unfortunately it's at home. You forgot the rubber bands for the chopsticks so those are useless... oh and ___ (my lover) will tell you how poorly I react to Hitachi wands; use that thing on me and all it will do is piss me off. unfortunately/fortunately, I'm more of a penetration girl, and the only things I allow to penetrate me are The Men™ and any insertables *I* happen to own - hygiene and safety and all that; I'm sure you understand."

(Thank god he loves my brain as much as the rest of me, and caught the tail end of the conversation with a twinkle in his eye.)

 

[DVS]

If you plan to use rope, have some form of sharp knife or whatever to cut it off, in the case of emergency, such as cramps, or whatever else might require a quick removal of the rope. Get one of those blunted end scissors that won't cut her up, when you have to cut the rope off. Sure, normally, you can just untie it when finished, but if the knots are too tight, you might end up cutting it even then. Submissives tend to struggle in their bondage and that can tighten knots. If you aren't already up on your knots and which ones don't get tighter in such situations, find out about them. It can come in handy.

Also, go to your friendly neighborhood Home Depot or even some Walmarts have large rolls of Velcro tape. These rolls come in a box and they are about 20 feet long by 2 inches wide. There are two sides to the Velcro and they will have a sticky back to them. Cut different lengths of both the soft part and the rougher hook part.

Remove the backing that covers the sticky and put the two sides together. this will give you several lengths of Velcro ties. You can use them pretty much any where. Make sure you put the soft part against her skin. the rougher hook side is pretty rough against tender skin.

These are quick to remove in emergencies and once they are wrapped around wrists and ankles, they tend to stay quite well. Just remember that the trick is to keep the two sides alined when you put their sticky backs together. The straighter the better. You want to cover all of the sticky part. Trust me, these Velcro strips are great to have around. They work just fine.

 

[TiggersMaster]

I have made a lot of our toys & equipment myself. Some for friends too. Pour through the adult section on ebay for ideas to see what interests you. Then try to figure what you can substitute for them. Do you really need the awesome $30 studded leather blindfold when the $5 "sleeping mask" from the drug store serves the same purpose?
If you have one in the area; take a walk through a farm store. The look on the girls faces at the register is usually priceless. What kind of a horse do you have sir? I don't have a horse. I had the same fun at Petco with a nice collar & leash. I agree on the commercial items. Use caution. The adds are often misleading. Most of the things I have seen at womens naughty toy parties has been even worse.
Just for you; I asked my little subbie what her favorite innexpensive item is. It's a bamboo beater I bought for about $10. It is much less agressive than it sounds. I like using a cat with braided & knotted silk tails that was a similar price.
Be careful with strict gags if you two don't have a lot of experience together. She will have some trouble letting you know if she is in distress.

Maybe we should start a garage sale on here for all the awesome "stuff" we bought with great intentions & used once, if at all

 

[roomfor1more]

Hi all, been a bit of a lurker for some time but this is the first time I've had anything to post about. Always had an interest in certain parts of the BDSM lifestyle and practices but for the first time I have found a partner who I found, to my surprise, seems to share this interest.

We've been 'playing' for a while now and it seems like now is the time to 'step things up a notch' by getting some appropriate equipment rather than using whatever happens to be lying around to tie, gag, spank etc. My main concern is that some of these things could be unsafe (always take the safety of both of us as my top priority) also 'approprite things' aren't always to hand/possible to find. She enjoys spanking, restraint, light nipple torture, gagging, blindfolding, light 'rapeplay', light humiliation and following instruction.

So my question is what should I get as a 'starter kit'? and of that what should I buy as purpose made 'adult toys' and what can be other items 're-purposed'? As when it comes down to it we are both still students and so money is always a factor.
I have my own ideas on what i need and 'repurposing' but hope you all will suggest more and also confirm my own thoughts.

Many thanks for reading and advice and also apologies if this has been asked before but by searches found nothing relevant.

PS. was just perfecting my post when my windows decided it was time to reboot for an update... grr thought I'd switched it off on this machine- so had to totally re-write it feel like I'm forgetting part of it now.... grr



TL;DR - advice on bondage equipment for beginner (also what everyday items can be 'repurposed'?)

Like yourself, you do find there are limits to household items. Two limits we have found include, old ties can be difficult to untie afterwards, the wrist can easily slip out, and they do not make great blindfolds. Second limit is clothes pins for nipple clamps do not work. They vary in tension and if you try to ease the tension on it by opening up the clothes pin, it does not produce the tension you want.

For us, we have bought sex toys before from the internet, primarily vibrators and had success with them. Based on our type play, the items we purchased where adjustable nipple clamps and a collar with adjustable wrist restraints. Then if they are acceptable quality then try buying a few more items.

As for starter kits, I tend to avoid them due to the quality of the items. From experience, starter kits are cheap; however the kits may contain items you do not want and the items I find tend to be cheaply made. Nonetheless they are a good way to start and then purchase a better quality item once you know you will use it.

From a logical standpoint the issue of safety can be a concern but if you are using the product as intended then safety from a theoretical standpoint should not be a major concern. If you think about it logically while assuming you are buying from a reputable online retailer will not sell unsafe items due to the legal implications for them such as being sued for selling breach of contract (selling an item as not described), being sued for being negligent for selling a product that was known to be unsafe. Likewise the manufacturer would be out of business due to product liability issues if they sold an unsafe product. With that said it is also important to know how to use the item in a safe way in order to prevent injury and if you are not sure then you should not buy the item until you are sure on how to use it.

The one advice I can give is do research online since the same items can vary in price depending on the company and even though many companies carry similar items they do vary on what they carry. It might be worth finding one that meets your pricing needs while meeting the supplies you need.

Finally I am not going to comment on the items you need since other posters have done a good job.

 

[firenzi]

Not much to add to these great replies you've gotten, but I'll still mention a couple of things:

1. Bondage Tape (if you google "bondage tape" you'll find the website and online retailers)- it won't irritate your skin or rip out your hair like duct tape. It's one purchase that is really worth making imo. You can do a lot with it.

2. Anal toys- it's perfectly fine to use household items for vaginal insertion, but when it comes to anal insertion, I'm a big believer in using proper anal toys only. This is due to safety- there's more potential to injure yourself back there, and for things to get "lost". You can always dig around and retrieve objects from your vagina, but the same can't be said for your ass- and then you could be facing a visit to the emergency department. An anal toy should always have some sort of base at the bottom to prevent the entire thing from slipping up inside. Stainless steel, high grade silicone, or pyrex glass are probably the best materials to look for.

 

[just_me2011]

The bondage tape can be had at any drug store or Walmart its called Coban. Its over in the isle with the ace bandages used for wrapping ankles. Different brands called differemt names but looking at it it seems the same just not in pretty colors or huge rolls!

 

[learnbydoing]

Let me just say a big thankyou to everyone who responded. I was pleasantly surprised by both volume and quality of the replies. You guys are great!

I've copy and pasted all you're advice to a doc for future reference.

Can't wait to try a few of these ideas out. I'm based in the UK so I'm going to have to convert some of the shop and brand advice to the equivalent over here. I'm going to be scouring the shops the next few days looking for some of these "pervertables"

Thanks again!

 

[Jaded_One]

Have fun in your shopping quest and know you've "arrived" in a good BDSM place when you walk into the hardware store and go ooooohhhh..... aaaahhhhhh....

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

There's a whole 'nother use for about 80-90% of your non-powered kitchen utensils (and some of the powered ones, too! ), and it's her butt cheeks

LOL

The layout of my house means that me bent over the couch results in my butt being about 2 feet from the kitchen drawers. So I've learned that, in this, SW is very correct.

 

[midwestyankee]

The single most important piece of equipment in your bdsm toolbox can not be purchased but it's also available free: your brain. Use it wisely and creatively and both you and your partner will be happy.

 

[ruby_my_dear]

The single most important piece of equipment in your bdsm toolbox can not be purchased but it's also available free: your brain. Use it wisely and creatively and both you and your partner will be happy.

Amen!
Still rather new at this and my partner and I are in the process of building up our "toy" collection. Only bought a few things...I think it's going to be very handy to have a three dimentional artist as a PYL. The most enjoyment has come not from our "new" toys but from the creative and what appears to be (but maybe really isn't) spontaneous places he figuratively takes me to explore. Enjoy!

BTW- almost didn't recognize you there MWY...like the holiday avatar! LOL.

 

[midwestyankee]

Amen!

BTW- almost didn't recognize you there MWY...like the holiday avatar! LOL.

Had a tough night last week and I may have had an extra snifter of scotch when relaxing afterward.

 

[renfield013]

Er... Hi. ^_^;

Long time lurker on this forum. The BDSM section is what actually drew me to the Lit forums. A former partner had introduced me to BDSM culture, with me taking the more er...commanding role in the relationship. (I can't honestly say I'm the dominant one, as she, being the one with more experience, was generally the one who'd suggest which things we could do...)

Erm. Sorry. Rambling.

Uh. Anyway... This is a weird question about equipment. Back then, that partner I had had this three-piece strap-on set we'd use once in a while. What made it different was that it was for men --I mean, instead of one solid hunk it had a space in the middle where guy's penis could fit, sort of like a fleshlight with an additional function. From that you can pretty much figure out it's on the bigger side of things.

Also, one of the pieces was um... modeled like a dog's. You know... With the knot an' all....

So, these days, I've got... a new someone to occupy my time and somehow, she got wind of the thing. (I wonder from who?

) And she, like me, is just a dabbler in BDSM, but she's expressed in no uncertain terms that she wanted to be... um... "tied like a bitch."

The problem: I cannot, for the life of me, remember what the name of the thing was, either the brand or what it actually is called. I would talk to my ex if I had the option, but we'd long since parted ways and I don't have any contact info on her. Believe me, I've tried (both on reconnecting with my ex and finding the thing). Most googleable permutations "male strap-on" generate the results you'd expect, and those are not the droids I'm looking for.

She's coming home for the holidays and I was hoping to surprise her, so I was wondering if anybody else had encountered the same and where I could grab a hold of them? I'd be much obliged for any info.

 

[ketalia]

BTW, a lot of folks who are into making their own toys have a big love affair with Home Depot (aka Dom Depot), Lowe's, and similar stores...

And Harbor Freight. You can find NEATO things at Harbor Freight that you can't find at Home Depot. They have things like Ratchet Bar Clamps, oh yes they do... In multiples sizes even....

 

[peachesmelba]

What do I Need/BDSM Equipment

For all that's been written (and Coban is great sticky stuff but it has a nasty tendency to get tighter with 'struggling' or squirming-check periodically to make sure you're not cutting off circulation) - favorites are STILL an old (laddered) pair of panty-hose - they stretch forever and you can't possible 'ruin' them and who cares if you cut them off later... Also, since he really hates to wear neckties anymore (and his job no longer requires it) we've had some lovely silkie bits to use as restraints, gags, and blindfolds when needed. Wooden spoons and other kitchen hardware are EXCELLENT (but sometimes have a tendency to break if you get too excited or enthusiastic - buy cheap and replace often or buy olive wood). Best spankings have almost always been with ping-pong paddles and with his bare hands. Had some really exciting times with cucumbers and squash (in place of dildos - warning to wash them well and probably wouldn't hurt to condom them anyway - and ALWAYS use the spineless cucumbers!) as was mentioned previously - these are for vaginal use only, anything for anal use should be MADE for anal use - spend the extra money and buy quality (believe me you do NOT want to have to explain this to the paramedics or the doctors at the Emergency Room). A headboard that allows things/people to be tied to it is nice but in a pinch you can run the pantyhose under the mattress (seat and butt portion centered under the mattress-feet and leg portions pulled out on either side of the mattress...or is that a 'duh!') The springy wooden clothespins and bagclips are WONDERFUL!!!!! Have a WONDERFUL time!

 

[dicky911]

there js a great online store in LA called the Stockroom - fantastic and amazing stuff for BDSM

 

[dicky911]

nothing is more fun than browsing the vegetable areas of a supermarket together - eggplants, cukes, squash, etc - for suitable insertions - checking the smoothness, thickness, curvature....