The vehicle rolls to a stop on the gravely edge of the road. In the dim red glow of my taillights I can see you, long, lean and rangy, jog up towards the truck, a duffle bag tossed over your right shoulder, your head ducked in difference to the drizzle coming down. You reach the driver side window – different, I thought hitchhikers usually went to the passenger side. The upper portion of your face is shadowed by the brim of your hat. A chocolate brown Stetson – much more character than the usual black. I can see your lips though, they’re moving, but I’m not hearing the words, all I can focus on is the way they move. Lips and teeth and tongue all working together to turn off my usually rational brain and turn ON all my quivering feminine parts. Jesus, what a mouth! They stop moving – what now? Did you ask a question? Think. Think! “Need a ride?” Moron! Stupid question, of course you need a ride, why else would you be here? Those lips, oh god, those lips, they move again. “It’d be appreciated, ma’am” those gorgeous lips say. I can’t think of anything to say that wont make me seem less stupid than I’ve already achieved, so I hit the power lock button. You’ve got the idea. Around the front of the jeep you move, I get a first class view of your silhouette in the beam of the headlights. Lean, yes but lordy how well you fills out those jeans. You’re at the door, stepping in and bringing with you a smell of freshness. Nice. I never did care for a man who bathed in his aftershave. The hat comes off due to clearance issues with the roof of the truck. Well groomed light brown hair, and a smoothly shaved jaw…not what I expected to find hitching a right on the highway at this hour of the night. I can’t see the colour of your eyes in the darkness, but I still feel the intensity of them on me. “You can put that on the back seat if you like”, I gesture to the duffle bag you’ve got on your lap. “So, where can I take you?” In response I get a wolfish grin, those teeth shine straight and white even in the darkness. “To a hot shower and a warm bed,” you say. ‘Dear god I’m going to cream right here if he smiles like that once more,’ I think to myself.
What comes next?
- Thread starter Riles
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BedtimeStories77
Peaceful
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- Oct 1, 2005
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BedtimeStories77
Peaceful
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2005
- Posts
- 11,417
Ah, got'cha! 
Back On Topic ...
Writing in first person is rarely a good idea, but writing in first person to second person is even less appealing. However, having the second person an alien, and the first person either another alien, or at least a human who knows about thought transference or telepathy is different.
Ah, a clue to development here. If she is thinking specifically to herself, then it follows she could be thinking to someone else and the hitch-hiker is the obvious recipient of he thoughts, and we are off into mind-reading or Sci-Fi.Riles said:
Writing in first person is rarely a good idea, but writing in first person to second person is even less appealing. However, having the second person an alien, and the first person either another alien, or at least a human who knows about thought transference or telepathy is different.
