What attracts you to Cyber Sex??

[le_kinklet]

Just wondering,, what is all the excitement, and why are so many people doing it?
I have tried it but i always get left feeling like i just had a placibo and knew it, it leaves me feeling extremely drained and empty. What is that attracts you?
~WaVeS~
Ps my first new thread,,, hehehehe

 

[FungiUg]

Doesn't work for me either. The first couple of times I loved it -- fell off my seat laughing! But then the joke wore thin.

Phone sex I can do, because there's more of a connection there. But preference is definately real life.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I agree with Fungi,

Find it has no attraction to me whatsoever.

Francisco

 

[lovetoread]

Dont like, dont do it.

 

[sirhugs]

It works if the fellow player(s) share a fantasy and you (I at Leadt) can submerge in the alternate reality.

It does leave that emptiness afterwards. That's why its so addictive.

I find phone sex less thrilling- the first few times were fun, but now it just seeems...silly?

 

[Etoile]

Phone sex doesn't turn me on. Cybersex doesn't turn me on. I've had both with Daddy, but it wasn't exciting, even when I had a webcam in on the action.

 

[Quint]

While T and I knew each other in person first, our relationship began with cyber. He had a fantasy and I asked him to tell it to me, and so it started. The appeal lay in getting insight into his mind with no risks or dangerous intimacy--at the time I was still dating somebody else. It seemed more harmless that way. Plus the written word has always been the most effective form of porn for me; watching it just doesn't do as much for me as reading it, and hearing it is not as memorable of a medium. So there were lots of things that kept me interested, as I still remain--but only with somene who has proven their ability at it. Done the chatroom thing and all I have to say to that is "never again."

Plus I will say that I do enjoy hearing and speaking about me undergoing experiences that I doubt I'd be able to in real life. Makes me feel tough. o)

 

[Desdemona]

Cybersex = YAWN. It was fun the first couple of times, but it got old quickly.


Phone sex with Master is something else entirely. He is wickedly good at it! (Obviously, I prefer skin to skin, but it isn't always possible).

 

[serijules]

I like cyber. I'm not very good at it but now and then it is a lot of fun...especially when I'm made to do things to myself. I find cyber-play a lot more enjoyable than cyber sex, or a combination of the two is great. It doesn't work for me unless it is with people I physically know in person though. It used to a long time ago before I knew anyone in the scene, but now that has changed.

Not something I want very often, but when it has been awhile since I've seen certain people in person and I'm wanting to play, cyber is a fun and effective alternative to just pineing away It gives us a lot of insight into things that each other wants to do or try in person. Many a scene has been "practiced" or introduced cyberly for me with certain partners before trying it in real life. It is an easy way for them to know how I will respond to it. Not necessarily in body reactions since if I haven't tried it yet I won't know, but as to how open and willing I am to the idea.

I hang out in the chatroom I've been a part of for the last 3 years , almost every night for a little while. It is where I've met 90% of the people I know in this lifestyle...since we all meet up a few times a year and introduce each other to other friends etc. Very close-knit group that has known each other for I think over 7 years. Some of us hang out and keep in contact often in the chatroom between r/l visits. It is a wonderful group and I absolutely love being a part of it. Not all chatrooms turn out to be horrible, trolling experiences

 

[James G 5]

With the right partner (I usually play at cyber with other erotica writers) it becomes a livign story
My friends & I have spun stories off from cyber sessions
Is it a way to get off? Usually no, but it CAN be a way to stimulate ideas and feed fantasies

And one BIG appeal: Absolutely SAFE sex LOL

 

[Mr Blonde]

I am not at all interested in either cybersex or phonesex. Doesn't do much for me.

There was one exception: Once I had a long distance thing with a girl who could only visit me once a month. Our relationship had a strong BDSM component, so some cybersex/phonesex helped sort out what we could do once she was in my apartment. We learned a lot about each other through the fantasies and then could make the most of our time together.

Might be good for shy people or those who are exploring foreign territory. I am not gonna knock it. To each their own.

 

[cherryfire]

Cyber sex holds no interest to me whatsoever. ...i just dont see the attraction. (but like earlier stated, hey, to each his/her own)

In my mind, I would be concentrating too hard on what Im about to say, how to be more creative, blah blah blah than actually being able to enjoy anything. What i find humorous, to be honest, is observing Cyber. In that "crutial" moment when eachother experiences an "orgasm".....Im amazed that theyre able to form a complete sentence...much less type at all! lol I can only speak for myself, but i'd be kicking the wall, rolling my chair back and grinding my teeth too much to give a crap about typing! lol..

Anyway..my two cents! And certainly, no offense meant to any that enjoy this means of self expression.

Cherry

 

[ammre]

I don't like cyber sex...
I used to ido it to amuse me for a while but it was of no turn on.. i did it to see if i could manipulate the assholes i'd wind up meeting on yahoo. "Hi i don't care if you're 15, let's cyber" "Ok" 10 min later... "Are you hard yet" "oh yeah baby" "ok... bye" *ignore*

I was cruel. Who would have though i'd be submissive?
But anyway... the only time cyber ever got me going was when the guy woudl essentially tell me a story.. it was hard to find a guy who would take all control and tell a story. Which leads me to why i LOVE lit. Granted it cna't be as personal as a person designing a story for you... but it's better than sifting through a bunch of immature perverts with the sexual expierence of a 13 year old. Or in my case i was on the internet at a very young age and let's jsut say i never want to hear another 60 year old ask me if i'd like to be his daughter (no not him be my Daddy in a BDSM sence.. me be his daughter in an incestual and highly illegial role)

I matured fast on the internet... by the age of 16 i knew the founder (Sven aka Dalvenjah and i have pictures of him.. what waht i'm a dork!) and most of the guys who run and own Dal net (a major IRC network which incidencially hosts the literotica chat room i believe ;D)

 

[Arden]

One year ago, I'd never thought of cybering or phone sex to be something that I could do. (Hey, I'm old and just couldn't see myself doing it)

My first few experiences with cyber through IM's were terribly frustrating, they were with someone that typed so fast that I couldn't keep up. I didn't enjoy it at all.

Later, I met someone very special and inadvertantly fell into cyber via PM's, then IM's. One PM series, in particular, was so wonderful that we decided we had to hear each other's voice. We shared our first long distance call that night. I think we were both surprised to find that phone sex could be both powerful and beautiful at the same time.

In general, I don't care much for cybering. It's a brain drain to compose, type and have sex at the same time. I love reading and writing erotic stories and poetry, but for me it's too difficult to do in real time and stay focused. No doubt, I could use another hand. *grins*

Phone sex, however, is a great way to maintain intimacy -- especially if you have a long-distance relationship. I have his voice, his words. I feel his love and his presence. It can be a lot of fun to incorporate toys into phone sex too, if he desires. Most of all, you can incorporate the basics of D/s into phone sex. Thought patterns, speech. Putting his needs before mine, unless he desires otherwise. Asking his permission for release. It's almost a spiritual connection. Phone sex allows us to be together mentally when we can't be together physically. While nothing is better than being together in person, it is the glue that holds us together both emotionally and sexually while apart.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Words are very powerful. Most especially written, even on a computer screen, whether they are in chat or a PM or an email or on a bulletin board. Some one has to take the time to formulate those words into sentences that convey a meaning, and in the case of cyber sex, the meaning is most often romantic and mysterious.

That may bore some, it may not be everyone's cup of tea but for me, I love the words and I keep them.

 

[catalina_francisco]

For myself, I have found technology based sex a great way of connecting when the responsibilty of distance, single parenthood and study limit your options and time. I agree it is not for everyone, though I am not sure as to why this may be so. In part I think it is partly the ability to remain connected on both the mental and technical level in a way which feeds needs. Some of my best erotica has been expressed online in the moment with more than pleasing results for both.

Catalina

 

[Arden]

I know what you mean, ADR... If I had a nickle for every IM and PM that I have saved in MS Word, I'd be rich. However, their true worth lies in being able to relish them afterwards, at any time. Oddly enough, it is often short bits of intimate conversation that I cherish the most, and not the sexual aspects of the conversations.

There have been many times that our communications have developed into stories or poetry. Without saving copies of the moments that inspired these writings, they might not exist today. As an artist, I possess a very vivid imagination... yet prefer to write from my heart, and soul.

*Makes a mental note to read Catalina's writings*

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

Plus of course for some it is the only way to feel any sort of contact, when time/distance is a barrier to overcome. Ideally if you can be together with the one you really truly want then cybering is unneeded.Mayhap I talk drivel but it is something to consider
Bachlam Chaam

 

[le_kinklet]

Just wondering,, what is all the excitement, and why are so many people doing it?
I have tried it but i always get left feeling like i just had a placibo and knew it, it leaves me feeling extremely drained and empty. What is that attracts you?
~WaVeS~
Ps my first new thread,,, hehehehe

Wow did not expect so much response to this, but yes you all have valid points, and in the end it is each to their own any ways,, but thanx this has been a great insight! Just makes me wonder though, there are so many kinksters here that i am thinking, we must be the normal people and the Nilla's are the ones that are nuts!! hehehe!!
Thanx again ppls, i can see this being my home,,, is getting very comfy here!!
~*HuGs*~

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Re: What attracts you to Cyber Sex??

there are so many kinksters here that i am thinking, we must be the normal people and the Nilla's are the ones that are nuts!! hehehe!!
Thanx again ppls, i can see this being my home,,, is getting very comfy here!!
~*HuGs*~

Sshhh....don't want to push those 'nilla's over the edge....who knows what they are capable of!!

Catalina

 

[le_kinklet]

Re: Re: Re: What attracts you to Cyber Sex??

Sshhh....don't want to push those 'nilla's over the edge....who knows what they are capable of!!

Catalina

Nah!!!!!!!
Like Incubus would say "Lets Do Some Evil"
hehehehehehhhehehehe
~*HuGs*~

 

[serijules]

In reading some of these replies, I found myself thinking that there is a pretty huge difference between cybering with some wannabe stranger that PMs you with their cock size and picture offerings....and cybering with someone that you know and have a connection to. I have never cybered with some stranger from yahoo or dalnet or whatnot, but I can imagine that doing so would be pretty unsatisfying and leave a bad taste in my mouth...as would picking up a hooker on a street corner and fucking them.

Just something to think about, many of the answers seemed tailored around the street-corner type cybering, and I find myself curious to know if people feel the same way about cybering with someone you know, respect, and/or even love?

 

[catalina_francisco]

In reading some of these replies, I found myself thinking that there is a pretty huge difference between cybering with some wannabe stranger that PMs you with their cock size and picture offerings....and cybering with someone that you know and have a connection to. I have never cybered with some stranger from yahoo or dalnet or whatnot, but I can imagine that doing so would be pretty unsatisfying and leave a bad taste in my mouth...as would picking up a hooker on a street corner and fucking them.

Just something to think about, many of the answers seemed tailored around the street-corner type cybering, and I find myself curious to know if people feel the same way about cybering with someone you know, respect, and/or even love?

Nah, mine was with someone who has changed my life forever and for the better, and is still a friend.

C

 

[James G 5]

In reading some of these replies, I found myself thinking that there is a pretty huge difference between cybering with some wannabe stranger that PMs you with their cock size and picture offerings....and cybering with someone that you know and have a connection to. I have never cybered with some stranger from yahoo or dalnet or whatnot, but I can imagine that doing so would be pretty unsatisfying and leave a bad taste in my mouth...as would picking up a hooker on a street corner and fucking them.

Just something to think about, many of the answers seemed tailored around the street-corner type cybering, and I find myself curious to know if people feel the same way about cybering with someone you know, respect, and/or even love?

Yeah......I should've mentioned that more in my reply
I don't play that game with anyone I don't know well & haven't developed a rapport with
My sessions are lile custom interactive fantasies
If we don't know each other, how can we express those fantasies??

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Cybering? rare, but on occasion. Phone, often, and I enjoy it immensely.

Obviously, I'd prefer to interact with Sir skin-to-skin, but the distance is what it is. I use those tools (especially the phone, thank goodness for free long distance) to retain that close, connected feeling, until our next visit.

~anelize