What Are your thoughts on Husbands/Wives playing Around?

[The Vortex]

I am wondering what the general consensus is of the men and women here on husbands or wives playing around with others. I have talked to those that don't mind that their partner plays around and also those that have split up from it.
I myself feel that if the relationship is solid that one shouldn't mind, especially when the sex remains good. It actually seems to add to the excitemant of a relationship.

What do you think?

The Vortex wants to know!

 

[Psiknight]

I'm not sure what others think, but personally I'm not real for it. It's ok to flirt and all...but I've known lots of couples who try "full swap" arrangements and the like and have split up because of it...offhand I can think of 7.

 

[sirhugs]

there have been several threads on " define cheating" or " is acybersex adultery", etc. They seem al to end up as debates between the libertarians and moralists ( I always wonder what they are doing at Lit?).

My position is that honesty is the true fidelity, more important than who puts what where.

Variety may be the spice some couples need.

Or, like my "wayward wife", some women need a variety of things from more than 1 man. I am her nuturer- he is her adventurer. I am now open to indulge my desire to play the adventure role for another....

 

[ChaffII]

My wife and I have been swapping well I've been watching her with other men for 25 years. We still do it when we can and we have never been to a swap club. My general feeling is she wouldn't do it if she didn't like it. I love hearing about it and knowing she is doing it. Right now she has one partner that she goes to see for "tea" as long as both partners like it go for it. One more thing, Monogamy only happens with whales and Bald eagles. Either that or divorce lawyers would be out of a job.

 

[capricious_chic]

Really it is up to the couple as to what is acceptable in the relationship and what isn't. Who am I to judge another.. what is acceptable for me, may not be for another.

CC

 

[sirhugs]

Really it is up to the couple as to what is acceptable in the relationship and what isn't. Who am I to judge another.. what is acceptable for me, may not be for another.

CC

and just what is acceptable for you, oh coy one?

 

[RascalnRed]

This really does depend on the couple and also the communication is paramount to everything else. We have played and had a fun time and we both are open to doing it again (if the situation was right). We don't ask others to condone or accept what we do, we have an "understanding" between us that allows this to occur. We feel it is special, others may disagree with us and they are fully withing their rights to believe that.

But when it all boils down to it, you do what the 2 of you agree to do and you accept the consequences going in. We also agree it does add excitement to things.

Rascal

 

[capricious_chic]

and just what is acceptable for you, oh coy one?

Hmmm... Might be more prudent to worry w/what might not be acceptable... as I find many, many things acceptable .

 

[sirhugs]

Hmmm... Might be more prudent to worry w/what might not be acceptable... as I find many, many things acceptable .

what , me worry?

 

[ozme52]

My position is that honesty is the true fidelity,

Sirhugs got it all, right here, (I snipped the rest but don't think it's out of context.)

When you took your vows, what did you promise? Stand by that. If you can't, or you changed your mind, then speak up and discuss it.

And don't badger or "force" your partner into agreeing and expect positive results. All too many partners agree to swapping, et.al., to "save" the marriage and really didn't want to share or swap. If you force your partner into passive-agressive behavior, expect a bad outcome.

 

[ozme52]

PS. In case I was ambiguous, I think open marriages work best and last longest. As long as you're honest and trustworthy in what you think and say, and in what you do and how you act.

 

[hentaifan]

exactly!

PS. In case I was ambiguous, I think open marriages work best and last longest. As long as you're honest and trustworthy in what you think and say, and in what you do and how you act.

I can totally agree here with what you are saying. Me and my wife are living proof of this. At first I didn't like it. I didn't like it because I didn't understand it.

 

[Chaingun]

Mmmm, zombie thread is undead!

Nine and a half years....and it lives again!

 

[Cinner]

there have been several threads on " define cheating" or " is acybersex adultery", etc. They seem al to end up as debates between the libertarians and moralists ( I always wonder what they are doing at Lit?).

My position is that honesty is the true fidelity, more important than who puts what where.

Variety may be the spice some couples need.

Or, like my "wayward wife", some women need a variety of things from more than 1 man. I am her nuturer- he is her adventurer. I am now open to indulge my desire to play the adventure role for another....

Well said.