what are some of your best excuses for not going to work?

[amelia]

i'm beginning to run out of good ideas...

i don't think i can claim cramps or my aunt dying one more time...

what are some excuses you've used...would like to use..or will use?

 

[riff]

I'm sick and can't make it in.

That's all I need to say.

 

[Demian]

I don't feel like It

Lifetime haz a cool chick show on today...I'll defiantly be there Tommorrow

 

[amelia]

I'm sick and can't make it in.

That's all I need to say.

that's not a good enough reason to my boss


good morning riff

 

[RawHumor]

Here's the one I use most often:

"Well, I was perving on Amelia this morning and, naturally, had a huge erection. So when I got out of bed, my erection hit the lamp post, knocking the lamp over. The lamp fell toward the aquarium and it didn't break it, but it did get wet, causing a small electrical fire. There was no major damage, but I'll need to call an electrician... after I take care of something a little more urgent."

 

[sexy-girl]

if you have a male boss say you have female problems i bet he wont ask for anymore details

 

[Andreina]

i have a stomach ache in my little toe.

 

[riff]

that's not a good enough reason to my boss


good morning riff

Good morning, yerself.

 

[CarolineOh]

So far "I got hit by a fucking car" has worked out best for me.

 

[RawHumor]

So far "I got hit by a fucking car" has worked out best for me.

Oooh, that's good! Maybe *I* should try that one.

 

[Guest]

 

[CarolineOh]

Here's the one I use most often:

"Well, I was perving on Amelia this morning and, naturally, had a huge erection. So when I got out of bed, my erection hit the lamp post, knocking the lamp over. The lamp fell toward the aquarium and it didn't break it, but it did get wet, causing a small electrical fire. There was no major damage, but I'll need to call an electrician... after I take care of something a little more urgent."

I actually had an employee who was consistently late because he said his girlfriend just wouldn't let him out of bed in the morning until he'd fucked her at least twice. Telling him to get up earlier did no good, because all that did was, allegedly, make it so he had to do her more times.
He also called in one day and said he couldn't come to work because there was a bird in his house.

 

[RawHumor]

We have an employee who has, on more than one occasion, called in because he didn't have any clean underwear.

I can't believe he still has a job.

 

[perks]

"hi, is the manager there."

"Yeah"

"Well, let me talk to him"

"K"

"Hey, I'm not coming into work today"

"Hmmm, why not? You better have a good excuse. Who is this? This is just great. I am understaffed as it is. What IS YOUR REASON ANYWAY?!?!?"

"Well, cause I don't work there"

 

[riff]

Well, all I can say is do not call in (like I did in April) and say:

"Damn, I fucked up. I been up all night drinking, I got my days mixed up and thought it was Friday night, I am stranded at the Waffle house, and when I saw all of the traffic, I realized I was supposed to be at work this morning."

LOL

 

[HotXBunz]

Gotta take my.....fill in the blank to the .......

My hot water heater, dish washer, washing machine -pick only one- leaked all over and I have to clean it up. That one is good for a twofer because you have to wait for an adjuster the following day.

 

[Wiggles]

I QUIT!

That's my favorite.

 

[lilminx]

I took the day off today.

I called lastnight and left a message, saying that I wasn't coming in because I have personal matters to attend to.

That covers a plethora of situations, and makes your boss not want to delve too deeply into it.

 

[Monazwx]

Aside from anyone dying, being sick or having car problems,

"My boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed this morning and we're having trouble finding the key" works wonders.

 

[CarolineOh]

I QUIT!

That's my favorite.

I thought your favorite would be "I showed my tits on the internet last night and now I am embarrassed to go out of the house because I don't know who all saw them."

 

[Wiggles]

I thought your favorite would be "I showed my tits on the internet last night and now I am embarrassed to go out of the house because I don't know who all saw them."

I don't think that's too much of a problem.

Wait. Who's from Cincinnati around here?

 

[CarolineOh]

Aside from anyone dying, being sick or having car problems,

"My boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed this morning and we're having trouble finding the key" works wonders.

That wouldn't cut it if you worked for me, sweetie, I'd come over to unlock you.
Oh wait, then we would both miss the whole day

 

[RawHumor]

I took the day off today.

I called lastnight and left a message, saying that I wasn't coming in because I have personal matters to attend to.

That covers a plethora of situations, and makes your boss not want to delve too deeply into it.

It depends where you work. I once had a job at which they wanted to know where you were going to be and how they could get ahold of you.

I felt like I was asking my parents if I could stay out late or something.

 

[koalabear]

Dog died
cat died
bird died
Carb fell off the car.....so you had to throw it in the trunk and drive back home.........

 

[cactiphile]

I didnt go into today and the excuse I used (and which was accepted) was:

"Its raining too damn hard!"

But then I hate driving my poor old VW in gales and heavy rain.


cactiphile