Wet, Wild Lesbian Sex!

[Mickie]

This is the subject of the story up for discussion on the Story Discussion Circle Forum for this week!

Judo has created a fun romp in all kinds of unique settings with her story, Interruptus4. Come on in to the thread and tell her what you think of her story!

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=50792

There's a link to the story in the thread. Writers AND readers are both welcome!

See ya there!

Mickie

 

[JUDO]

"And where do you like to have sex, my love?"

On the road with a balm.
In the store while I'm calm.
At the beach 'neath a palm.


- Judo

 

[daughter]

Day at the beach

Judo--

Read your story. Some hot scenes. A few things I think I would consider in a re-write. Overall, this needs trimming. Fewer words would quicken the pace of the read. Pacing is important. A story dragged out too long will wane a reader's interest. Good details, but you tend to tell more than you illustrate. Instead of telling the reader that Annette is excited, try to use words and actions that show how excited she is.

Thanks for the read.

Peace,

daughter