Well this was no fun

[SeaCat]

Today, as I ran from patient to patient I came across one of my patients crying. She is having a hard time of it. Yesterday she was informed that her Breast Cancer had mestastized before her Mastectomy. It had spread to the bones of her Pelvis as well as her Liver. She is all of 45 years old.
My patient, as is her right, refused the help of the Social Worker/counselor. She informed both her R.N. and my Supervisor that she prefered to talk with me because I wouldn't sugar coat things nor would I Bull Shit her. If I didn't know the answer I would tell her so.
Yes she cried on my shoulder. Yes we talked. She asked me questions I couldn't answer. Why her? How long did she have? Would she last until her Grand Daughter was born? Then she started in on even harder questions.
She asked me about her religeon, if she should keep praying to her God. Her God that had so far not done well by her. She asked many spiritual questions, questions I am not equipped to answer, which I told her. Then she asked me what I would do.
Oh how to answer this? I faced what she was facing several years ago, but I faced it from my viewpoint. I told her her options and then I told her that what she needed to do was look inside herself. To look into her heart for the answers she so dearly needed.
I told her to think about things that the doctors rarely mention. Things like quality of life. Things like end of life and what she was facing.
Just before I left the floor for the day I poked my head into her room. She looked up from where she was sitting by the window with her Bible in her lap. She told me she would see me in the morning, and then she did something she hadn't done in the past two days. She smiled. (Granted it was a sad and very self conscious smile but it was a smile nonetheless.)

Cat

 

[Alessia Brio]

 

[cloudy]

You have such a gift. I'm very proud to call you friend.

 

[feeeriek]

 

[MagicaPractica]

Someone I work with came to me this morning and told me that her nephew had died yesterday. He was only 44 years old and in prime health. He left behind two daughters, 10 and 12. His wife went to wake him in the morning and found him dead. They have no idea as yet of what he died. I keep thinking about his daughters. There are no easy answers in this existence.

 

[Guest]

You have such a gift. I'm very proud to call you friend.

Indeed.

 

[poppy1963]

Oh brother...sighs. God bless you Seacat...are you her doctor or a nurse? I, too, am a bc survivor...8...almost 9 years now. I remember the days of "looking over my shoulder" more intensely waiting for the word...metasticized. My cancer seemed so small...the surgeon assured me...don't worry about it having gone to your lymph nodes...it's just to small and early.

WRONG. I looked at mortality then and all it means. I'm glad you spoke to her about the things you did. We cannot fear looking at just letting life be what it is and has been and moving with the natural outcomes. I don't know what I'd choose if I was faced with it all again. Well...yes I do. I'd finish out my days in peace...that's all I want to do now anyway!

But it really helps when someone hears us talk of those real options and not tell us to "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" Sometimes the fight is not the way...sometimes it's just saying: Wow...what a ride!

And moving on...



I know how hard in some ways it must be for you to face such situations everyday. I applaud and honor you. Thank you for your service to mankind.

 

[privyjo]

 

[moonlight elf]

You constantly amaze me.

 

[Huckleman2000]

You're in the right business for you, Cat.

 

[SeaCat]

Oh brother...sighs. God bless you Seacat...are you her doctor or a nurse? I, too, am a bc survivor...8...almost 9 years now. I remember the days of "looking over my shoulder" more intensely waiting for the word...metasticized. My cancer seemed so small...the surgeon assured me...don't worry about it having gone to your lymph nodes...it's just to small and early.

WRONG. I looked at mortality then and all it means. I'm glad you spoke to her about the things you did. We cannot fear looking at just letting life be what it is and has been and moving with the natural outcomes. I don't know what I'd choose if I was faced with it all again. Well...yes I do. I'd finish out my days in peace...that's all I want to do now anyway!

But it really helps when someone hears us talk of those real options and not tell us to "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" Sometimes the fight is not the way...sometimes it's just saying: Wow...what a ride!

And moving on...



I know how hard in some ways it must be for you to face such situations everyday. I applaud and honor you. Thank you for your service to mankind.

Poppy,

I am what is called a Nurses Aide. And yet some days I am so much more. I have taken care of my mother through several bouts of Cancer, as well as a Heart Attack and an Anuerisim repair. I have also taken care of my father through multiple injuries, plus dealing with my own injuries, (and a misdiagnosis of cancer of the Kidneys.) I was there for my wife when they found a lump in her breast as well.

Professionaly I have over 14 years in the medical field.

I have been both a patient and a caregiver, so I know how the game is played.

On my unit I am the one who is considered the hardest or the harshest. I am also the one the Doctors turn to in many cases. Why? Because I don't play games. I don't believe in Bullshit.

I don't like the games people play, especially the games my co-workers play. My unit is hard enough to work on. Why make it harder?

Recently one of my co-workers was a patient of mine. She is the same age as me. She had a Radical Hysterectomy. They had found cancerouse cells on both her Cervix and in her Ovaries.

The Doc's did what they do best. They cut her open and dived right in.

Needless to say she was at first mortified when she found out I was one of those taking care of her. I had her cleaned up and in her chair even before the Floor Supervisor dragged her ass in to work. I treated her as I treat all of my patients, with respect.

Later that day my co-worker asked me what I thought was going to happen. What I thought her chances were. I laid it out for her. I told her it all was determined by the results of the pathology tests and of her scans. If the pathology and scans came back positive for cancer then she had less than a year. If they came back negative then she was good to go for a good long time.

Oh she ranted and she raved, then she cried and I comforted her.

The next day her test results came back. She was clean.

She came back to work the other day. She watched and she waited for me by the Nurses Station. When she saw me she hugged me for the longest time. When she finally let go of me she stepped back and informed everyone there that I was the one who had saved her sanity. She informed everyone there that I was the one who had taken the time to sit down and talk with her, to let her vent, and to let her cry as she waited. When she turned back to me she thanked me.

Yes she thanked me but not for just being there. She thanked me for being honest and for not trying to sugar coat it.

Cat

 

[Saucyminx]

You just never cease to amaze me Cat. I feel better knowing there are people like you out there. Thank you.