Shaq
The Libertine
- Joined
- Apr 25, 2002
- Posts
- 12,552
This past mating season mostly lived up to expectations but there were some surprises.
I had big pre-mating season predictions for Bg23 yet she was unable to get that really hot lay and had a breakup to boot.
Down year for her but with a good draft she'll be right back on top next mating season.
Lady Funk also had a dissapointing year. Who could have predicted she would leave 2005 without at least one sugar daddy and porn shoot offer?
Still Funk fans don't fret. She'll be back next year in full force.
By far the biggest dissapointment this past mating season was your boy Shaq. The switch from glasses to contacts highlighted his lovely eyes and it looked like he was on the prowl. Unfortunately, Shaq showed tremendous inconsistency, switching from glasses to contacts and not allowing any familiarity. Many interested females thought he was two different people.
Not helping his friend hit on the two married chicks that came their job also hurt. Ignoring their overt flirting not only caused the more attractive one to rescind her subtle offer for sex, it helped ruin the mating season for his friend.
Not calling the hot freshman he met in his statistics class turned out to be his biggest error of the year though. After scoring her number within 5 minutes of meeting, Shaq looked like a front runner to be her first college fuck and a potential "Playa of the Year" candidate.
But Shaq insists that 2005 was a fluke.
"Yeah, I didn't get laid in '05. I accept full responsibility for that. I've heard a lot of criticism that I need to learn how to dance. I avoid clubs because I don't know how to dance that's true. But I still don't believe the club scene is the best place to meet and skeet. I'm in college, chicks come into the restaurant all the time and I live in a populous neighborhood. I'm going to concentrate more on improving my eye and approach technique and finding a better cologne. I will be back on top. Believe that!"
Rumors abound that Shaq has made sweeping organizational changes. Unconfrimed reports indicate he has stopped listening to that dumbass that doesn't know anything about picking up chicks and has hired a sexual advisor to solidify some weaknesses in his sexual technique.
Given his recent commitment to balancing wearing contacts with glasses and his amazing new wardrobe, Shaq is my early favorite for "Most Improved Playa" and I like him to have a strong '06.
For others, the future looks a lot dimmer. We knew Dollparts85 was in for a very bad mating season but we didn't know how bad it would be until we saw her get turned down after offering webcam action.
Earning lit drama queen of '05 was also a heart wrenching loss.
But there is hope.
Not only does Dollparts have the #1 overall pick in this year's draft but she's promised sweeping changes in the off season. She's already lost 17 lbs and plans to release 92 more. This would free up a lot of room under the calorie cap. Soon she may be capable of sexual positions we could only dream about last mating season.
One scout I spoke to thinks Dollparts85 projects well sans 25lbs.
"See, she's got potential. Pretty face, nice boobs. But she needs to get more flexible. Man, if she can ever lie on her back and get her knees to touch her shoulders, the guys won't be able to get enough of her."
But most of the scouts I spoke with felt the Dollparts85 poor mating season was due to mindset.
"You know how you can lose so much that you expect to lose? I was looking at her the other day. She's pretty, but she's got to have more confidence. She's got the looks to be a big time heartbreaker. But she's gotta believe in herself."
Until the draft finally rolls around speculation will run rampant as to what Dollparts85 will do with the first pick.
Dillenger's recent return seem to make him a strong candidate for the #1 overall pick. He's got one of the better cocks in this year's draft class and he's one of the best missionary position thrusters we've seen in a while. His impromtu public bathroom sex session with the brunette he met at Walmart put to rest rumors that he was getting too old and needed the blue pill. He's an older man, which is rumored to be very attractive to dollie. His experience could do her well.
Still, there are injury concerns. Has his bad back completely healed? Is he still capable of 5 and 6 hour sex sessions? Does he have the patience and emotional support skills that Dollparts needs?
Recently, some scouts have postulated dollparts going in a totally different direction. The female class of this year's draft is far hotter than the males.
Might she be tempted to try "that sweet, funky" stuff?
HornySandra is a rookie that can have an instant impact next mating season. If dollparts were to select Lushiss they would form the biggest boob duo since Selma Hayak and Penelope Cruz.
We'll all just have to wait and see when draft season rolls around.
Hey everybody! Post your own scouting reports with your strengths and weaknesses!
I had big pre-mating season predictions for Bg23 yet she was unable to get that really hot lay and had a breakup to boot.
Down year for her but with a good draft she'll be right back on top next mating season.
Lady Funk also had a dissapointing year. Who could have predicted she would leave 2005 without at least one sugar daddy and porn shoot offer?
Still Funk fans don't fret. She'll be back next year in full force.
By far the biggest dissapointment this past mating season was your boy Shaq. The switch from glasses to contacts highlighted his lovely eyes and it looked like he was on the prowl. Unfortunately, Shaq showed tremendous inconsistency, switching from glasses to contacts and not allowing any familiarity. Many interested females thought he was two different people.
Not helping his friend hit on the two married chicks that came their job also hurt. Ignoring their overt flirting not only caused the more attractive one to rescind her subtle offer for sex, it helped ruin the mating season for his friend.
Not calling the hot freshman he met in his statistics class turned out to be his biggest error of the year though. After scoring her number within 5 minutes of meeting, Shaq looked like a front runner to be her first college fuck and a potential "Playa of the Year" candidate.
But Shaq insists that 2005 was a fluke.
"Yeah, I didn't get laid in '05. I accept full responsibility for that. I've heard a lot of criticism that I need to learn how to dance. I avoid clubs because I don't know how to dance that's true. But I still don't believe the club scene is the best place to meet and skeet. I'm in college, chicks come into the restaurant all the time and I live in a populous neighborhood. I'm going to concentrate more on improving my eye and approach technique and finding a better cologne. I will be back on top. Believe that!"
Rumors abound that Shaq has made sweeping organizational changes. Unconfrimed reports indicate he has stopped listening to that dumbass that doesn't know anything about picking up chicks and has hired a sexual advisor to solidify some weaknesses in his sexual technique.
Given his recent commitment to balancing wearing contacts with glasses and his amazing new wardrobe, Shaq is my early favorite for "Most Improved Playa" and I like him to have a strong '06.
For others, the future looks a lot dimmer. We knew Dollparts85 was in for a very bad mating season but we didn't know how bad it would be until we saw her get turned down after offering webcam action.
Earning lit drama queen of '05 was also a heart wrenching loss.
But there is hope.
Not only does Dollparts have the #1 overall pick in this year's draft but she's promised sweeping changes in the off season. She's already lost 17 lbs and plans to release 92 more. This would free up a lot of room under the calorie cap. Soon she may be capable of sexual positions we could only dream about last mating season.
One scout I spoke to thinks Dollparts85 projects well sans 25lbs.
"See, she's got potential. Pretty face, nice boobs. But she needs to get more flexible. Man, if she can ever lie on her back and get her knees to touch her shoulders, the guys won't be able to get enough of her."
But most of the scouts I spoke with felt the Dollparts85 poor mating season was due to mindset.
"You know how you can lose so much that you expect to lose? I was looking at her the other day. She's pretty, but she's got to have more confidence. She's got the looks to be a big time heartbreaker. But she's gotta believe in herself."
Until the draft finally rolls around speculation will run rampant as to what Dollparts85 will do with the first pick.
Dillenger's recent return seem to make him a strong candidate for the #1 overall pick. He's got one of the better cocks in this year's draft class and he's one of the best missionary position thrusters we've seen in a while. His impromtu public bathroom sex session with the brunette he met at Walmart put to rest rumors that he was getting too old and needed the blue pill. He's an older man, which is rumored to be very attractive to dollie. His experience could do her well.
Still, there are injury concerns. Has his bad back completely healed? Is he still capable of 5 and 6 hour sex sessions? Does he have the patience and emotional support skills that Dollparts needs?
Recently, some scouts have postulated dollparts going in a totally different direction. The female class of this year's draft is far hotter than the males.
Might she be tempted to try "that sweet, funky" stuff?
HornySandra is a rookie that can have an instant impact next mating season. If dollparts were to select Lushiss they would form the biggest boob duo since Selma Hayak and Penelope Cruz.
We'll all just have to wait and see when draft season rolls around.
Hey everybody! Post your own scouting reports with your strengths and weaknesses!
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