Etoile
Mod, 2003-2015
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2000
- Posts
- 17,049
No idea if these are true or not...some of them seem unlikely but who knows??
KARL WATKINS, 20, appeared at Hereford Crown Court in February 1993 on five counts of outraging public decency: in particular, making love to pavements. Watkins claimed it was a case of mistaken identity, but he was fingered many times as the man found face down on the paving stones with his pants round his ankles. One boy told of seeing Watkins's bare backside moving up and down, while a mother said she was shocked to see a group of children gathered round him. He also attempted to mount an underpass. How he passed the time during his 18 month jail sentence is far from clear. Watkins was back in court in April 1995, on charges of simulating sex with black plastic dustbin bags in front of teenage schoolgirls. He revealed a nine-year fetish with the plastic sacks, centred on the "feel and touch of the bin liners". He went out at night to spend his time in rubbish piles, and had been found in wheelie bins, and even in the back of dust-carts. His ultimate sexual fantasy was to be in a dust-cart when the bin bags were crushed. Convicted of outraging public decency, he was put on three years' probation and ordered to seek psychiatric help.
AT DOBBIGAN, in Yuro County, California, a cult known as the Church of the ABC of Abraham erected a rather startling monument in May 1995. The cult is led by one Caligula Croesus Spurtyn which, astonishingly, is his original name and appears on his birth certificate, and its monument, made of Sicilian marble and dappled with veins of Corsican jasper, is a 244-foot high, 57 foot circumference replica of Spurtyn's penis. The replica is also topped by an eternal flame which, one rather suspects, is probably not present in the original. Shortly after the unveiling, a Mexican restaurant owned by the cult was shut down when it was discovered that one of the condiments used there was Spurtyn's semen.
THE COLONIAL INHABITANTS of New York were amazed in 1702 to see their governor, Lord Cornbury, open the state assembly on behalf of Queen Anne, wearing a hooped skirt and head-dress and carrying a fan. "You stupid people," he told those who gasped. "I represent a woman and I ought to do so as faithfully as I can." Soon afterwards he adopted women's dress at all times, at which point he was sent back to England, probably to the great relief of all concerned.
IN SEPTEMBER and October 1986, Timothy Adrian Ward, 32, exposed himself to women horseriders near his home in Middlesbrough. At the time he wore a full-length rubber wet-suit, a gas mask, and had two hot water bottles dangling on a piece of string round his neck. When he was arrested at Thornton-le-Beans, near Northallerton, police found wet- suit, gas mask, hot water bottles, rubber gauntlets, two pairs of wellingtons, a pair of cut-off waders and a yellow rubber coat in his car. He was prosecuted in court, fined L250 and had his gas mask confiscated.
A LOS ANGELES BUSINESSMAN, identified only as Arnold G., proposed to his girlfriend Carol in 1984 and asked her parents for their consent. After the engagement had been announced, Carol's father took Arnold aside and told him his daughter was born by artificial insemination because he was unlikely to father a child. He named the sperm bank, which turned out to be one that Arnold had donated to as a student. Arnold obtained a court injunction to inspect the records and found that he was the father of his bride-to-be, and 806 other children. The wedding was called off.
A SWEDISH TAXI DRIVER was jailed in October 1994 for leaving the meter running while he had sex with a woman customer and billing her for L5,600. The 34-year-old driver said the bill included 25 occasions of "sexual coitus", charges for trips, hotel and telephone costs, as well as a 25 per cent sales tax. The court decided that he was exploiting the 49-year-old woman, convicted him of usury, sentenced him to three years' jail, and ordered him to pay her back.
UTE WINTER, 29, was the wife of a football club president in Mainz, Germany. Her husband Klaus was obsessed with the club, raising funds for a new clubhouse and personally mixing cement for it at the weekends, leaving blonde Ute to her own devices. One day she took a fancy to one of his players... and before long she had slept with the whole of the first team, all the reserves, and had started into the over-40s old-boys eleven, bringing her score up to 28, all footballers, by the end of the 1985 season. The first sign of trouble came when Klaus arrived home and discovered Ute in bed with his star striker. He decided to forgive his wife to avoid a scandal, later found her with the outside-left in a back room at the clubhouse; the goalkeeper in a car; and the inside-right in his own living room. Klaus decided that was enough, his friends told him Ute's full-time score. He was granted a divorce.
AN OPTICIAN appeared in court at Brasschaat, Belgium, in March 1995, and his lawyer Henri Janssens admitted that the charge was technically true: before prescribing contact lenses, his client did frequently ask women to strip naked and dance around his consulting room while he played the accordion. However, Janssens claimed that there were mitigating circumstances: his client had qualified in England where, he assured him, such techniques were commonplace. The optician was later acquitted.
WEDDING GUESTS got something of a surprise when they sat down to watch a video of the reception in Sussex in 1994. The man shooting the reception pictures had borrowed the video camera from Derek Jeffrey, 59, who had forgotten to erase the footage on the tape. As the wedding video came to an end, the guests were shocked as the screen flickered and filled with a pornographic 10-minute movie of Jeffrey committing acts of bestiality with his neighbour's dog. He was seen lying on a bed, naked but for his socks, with a Staffordshire bull terrier called Ronnie. Brought to court, Jeffrey said that he made the film after he and three friends had watched a video called Animal Farm showing women having sex with animals. Besides admitting to being drunk at the time, he said that he made the video to prove such pornographic movies used trick photography, and that no sex had actually taken place with the dog. The jury failed to believe him, and he received a six-month suspended sentence.
IN VIRGINIA BEACH, Virginia, an intruder entered a woman's unlocked apartment in 1981 while she was asleep. He then forcibly covered her face and clothed body with chocolate and vanilla cake frosting. He reportedly told his victim that she should have known this would happen if she left her doors unlocked.
TWO ARMED MEN boarded a Los Angeles bus in 1982, made the male driver take the wheel and took his woman companion to a back seat. One of the gunmen gave her an unidentified white tablet, telling her: "If you wake up you won't be able to identify us afterwards." Then he stripped her, tied her up, and smothered her naked body in tartar sauce.
RATHER WORSE was Steve Symons, 21, of March, Cambridge. When he saw a girl he fancied, he cut the brake pipes on her car, causing 11 young ladies to have narrow escapes in 1988. He had an obsessive sexual fantasy about women being unable to stop their cars. When arrested, he told police that he was a virgin and didn't have a clue about women. He was also found to have a bag full of bicycle pedal rubbers that he'd stolen.
FIREFIGHTERS were called to a house in Knoxville, Tennessee, in April 1995 when neighbours smelled something burning. There they found the nude body of a 16-year-old boy and called in police. Confronted with posters of heavy-metal rock groups and a cow's heart attached to the boy's genitals, they at first thought they were dealing with a ritual murder. However, they then found several underground pornographic magazines under the boy's bed, one of which, Ovid Now, described a 'sex-toy' that could be made from the fresh heart of a cow, a simple electrical circuit and some batteries. The dead heart is made to beat, and then used sexually in a perversion which is apparently gaining popularity in the rural South. The trouble was, the boy had wired up the heart and plugged it into the wall-socket. He died of electrocution, and the electricity had then cooked his remains.
A SHY STUDENT, identified only as 'George', was erotically obsessed with his Austin Metro. The 20-year-old lived at home with his strictly religious parents and had no sexual experience of women at all. He began to fantasize about other Metros he'd seen, but his own was special and photos of it adorned his bedroom. Its front reminded him of a smiling child, and its rear end aroused him. He would seek out quiet places where the two of them could be alone, and then he'd crouch down by its smoking exhaust pipe and masturbate. He was described as "confused but happy". His doctors prescribed a course of "orgasmic reconditioning".
DR STRANGELOVE was the name police gave to Professor Tom Lippert, the man with the electric sex-machine. Like something out of a mad-scientist B-movie, the 25-year-old business lecturer at a Minnesota college had built the machine in the basement laboratory of his New Ulm home in 1975, assisted by 21-year-old Harold Tenneson. The next step was to find a guinea-pig. Blonde student Susan Cochrane, 21, advertised for a lift home and accepted an offer by phone. Lippert and Tenneson picked her up, produced a revolver, forced her to drink a bottle of whisky, then drove her, bound and gagged, to the professor's home. Lippert, of course, was a man of honour who'd never force his attentions on a woman; but he was quite prepared to use his electric love-machine to make her fall in love with him. The men carried Susan down into the professor's basement, donned white coats and assembled an array of apparatus. They wrapped her in a sheet and strapped her to a board, after which Lippert spent an hour explaining his passion, before she was unstrapped and shut in a box full of electric wiring. Lippert pulled the switch, but nothing happened: he'd forgotten to plug in the machine. This was fortunate, as he then realised that the voltage was too high, and his victim would have been killed. Even so, Lippert kept Susan prisoner under threat of death for a month, warning her that if she tried to escape her family would suffer. She was allowed to phone to tell them she was all right, which she was, as Lippert hadn't touched her. The nearest he got was one night in a storm, when he made her sleep with him; but then he simply lay for hours beside her with his clothes on. Finally, Lippert and Tenneson found a low-voltage generator, strapped Susan in the box again, and threw the switch. She felt a faint tingling, but no love for the professor. And before the men could try the experiment again, the FBI turned up, having traced Susan's phone-calls to her worried family. She was released unharmed, while Lippert and Tenneson were taken to jail to face kidnapping charges.
A SOCCER-MAD WIFE in Austria became obsessed with her country's World Cup football star Hans Krankl in 1978. Named only as Annemarie, the 30-year-old woman built an altar in her bedroom before his life-size portrait, put fresh flowers in front of it every day and lit two candles, before adoring him in the nude. When she refused to make love with her 40-year-old husband Erwin unless he prayed as well, he sued for, and was granted, a divorce.
RATHER MORE BIZARRE was the 1992 case of the unnamed 32-year-old woman with a long history of paranoid schizophrenia. She became convinced that Donald Duck had told her of his love for her via her neighbour's satellite dish. She was eventually found sitting in the satellite dish masturbating, under the impression that the cartoon duck was making love to her.
PANIC SWEPT THROUGH LAGOS, the capital of Nigeria, in October and November 1990. Men going about their usual business were stopping to look anxiously into their pants or feel their crotch, and keeping an eye out for mysterious strangers who were said to be roaming the bustling streets and markets. The strangers were thought to be evil wizards who could instantly dematerialize a man's private parts, usually after shaking hands or some other slight bodily contact when they asked for directions. The missing items were said to turn up in a thriving witchcraft market, where they sold for hundreds of pounds. Within a week of the rumours starting, the nation was in the grip of hysteria. A riot broke out in Enugu when a man boarding a bus shouted that his penis had vanished. The man in front of him was dragged off the bus and beaten. Fearing a lynching, a policeman fired warning shots, but only made matters worse by killing the bus driver and badly injuring a woman and her child. During this period, four suspected sorcerers were beaten to death, and stories circulated that women's breasts were being stolen too. Yet although dozens of suspected organ thieves were attacked, no one was actually found to have lost his tackle, nor did any of the missing goods actually turn up in the markets.
KARL WATKINS, 20, appeared at Hereford Crown Court in February 1993 on five counts of outraging public decency: in particular, making love to pavements. Watkins claimed it was a case of mistaken identity, but he was fingered many times as the man found face down on the paving stones with his pants round his ankles. One boy told of seeing Watkins's bare backside moving up and down, while a mother said she was shocked to see a group of children gathered round him. He also attempted to mount an underpass. How he passed the time during his 18 month jail sentence is far from clear. Watkins was back in court in April 1995, on charges of simulating sex with black plastic dustbin bags in front of teenage schoolgirls. He revealed a nine-year fetish with the plastic sacks, centred on the "feel and touch of the bin liners". He went out at night to spend his time in rubbish piles, and had been found in wheelie bins, and even in the back of dust-carts. His ultimate sexual fantasy was to be in a dust-cart when the bin bags were crushed. Convicted of outraging public decency, he was put on three years' probation and ordered to seek psychiatric help.
AT DOBBIGAN, in Yuro County, California, a cult known as the Church of the ABC of Abraham erected a rather startling monument in May 1995. The cult is led by one Caligula Croesus Spurtyn which, astonishingly, is his original name and appears on his birth certificate, and its monument, made of Sicilian marble and dappled with veins of Corsican jasper, is a 244-foot high, 57 foot circumference replica of Spurtyn's penis. The replica is also topped by an eternal flame which, one rather suspects, is probably not present in the original. Shortly after the unveiling, a Mexican restaurant owned by the cult was shut down when it was discovered that one of the condiments used there was Spurtyn's semen.
THE COLONIAL INHABITANTS of New York were amazed in 1702 to see their governor, Lord Cornbury, open the state assembly on behalf of Queen Anne, wearing a hooped skirt and head-dress and carrying a fan. "You stupid people," he told those who gasped. "I represent a woman and I ought to do so as faithfully as I can." Soon afterwards he adopted women's dress at all times, at which point he was sent back to England, probably to the great relief of all concerned.
IN SEPTEMBER and October 1986, Timothy Adrian Ward, 32, exposed himself to women horseriders near his home in Middlesbrough. At the time he wore a full-length rubber wet-suit, a gas mask, and had two hot water bottles dangling on a piece of string round his neck. When he was arrested at Thornton-le-Beans, near Northallerton, police found wet- suit, gas mask, hot water bottles, rubber gauntlets, two pairs of wellingtons, a pair of cut-off waders and a yellow rubber coat in his car. He was prosecuted in court, fined L250 and had his gas mask confiscated.
A LOS ANGELES BUSINESSMAN, identified only as Arnold G., proposed to his girlfriend Carol in 1984 and asked her parents for their consent. After the engagement had been announced, Carol's father took Arnold aside and told him his daughter was born by artificial insemination because he was unlikely to father a child. He named the sperm bank, which turned out to be one that Arnold had donated to as a student. Arnold obtained a court injunction to inspect the records and found that he was the father of his bride-to-be, and 806 other children. The wedding was called off.
A SWEDISH TAXI DRIVER was jailed in October 1994 for leaving the meter running while he had sex with a woman customer and billing her for L5,600. The 34-year-old driver said the bill included 25 occasions of "sexual coitus", charges for trips, hotel and telephone costs, as well as a 25 per cent sales tax. The court decided that he was exploiting the 49-year-old woman, convicted him of usury, sentenced him to three years' jail, and ordered him to pay her back.
UTE WINTER, 29, was the wife of a football club president in Mainz, Germany. Her husband Klaus was obsessed with the club, raising funds for a new clubhouse and personally mixing cement for it at the weekends, leaving blonde Ute to her own devices. One day she took a fancy to one of his players... and before long she had slept with the whole of the first team, all the reserves, and had started into the over-40s old-boys eleven, bringing her score up to 28, all footballers, by the end of the 1985 season. The first sign of trouble came when Klaus arrived home and discovered Ute in bed with his star striker. He decided to forgive his wife to avoid a scandal, later found her with the outside-left in a back room at the clubhouse; the goalkeeper in a car; and the inside-right in his own living room. Klaus decided that was enough, his friends told him Ute's full-time score. He was granted a divorce.
AN OPTICIAN appeared in court at Brasschaat, Belgium, in March 1995, and his lawyer Henri Janssens admitted that the charge was technically true: before prescribing contact lenses, his client did frequently ask women to strip naked and dance around his consulting room while he played the accordion. However, Janssens claimed that there were mitigating circumstances: his client had qualified in England where, he assured him, such techniques were commonplace. The optician was later acquitted.
WEDDING GUESTS got something of a surprise when they sat down to watch a video of the reception in Sussex in 1994. The man shooting the reception pictures had borrowed the video camera from Derek Jeffrey, 59, who had forgotten to erase the footage on the tape. As the wedding video came to an end, the guests were shocked as the screen flickered and filled with a pornographic 10-minute movie of Jeffrey committing acts of bestiality with his neighbour's dog. He was seen lying on a bed, naked but for his socks, with a Staffordshire bull terrier called Ronnie. Brought to court, Jeffrey said that he made the film after he and three friends had watched a video called Animal Farm showing women having sex with animals. Besides admitting to being drunk at the time, he said that he made the video to prove such pornographic movies used trick photography, and that no sex had actually taken place with the dog. The jury failed to believe him, and he received a six-month suspended sentence.
IN VIRGINIA BEACH, Virginia, an intruder entered a woman's unlocked apartment in 1981 while she was asleep. He then forcibly covered her face and clothed body with chocolate and vanilla cake frosting. He reportedly told his victim that she should have known this would happen if she left her doors unlocked.
TWO ARMED MEN boarded a Los Angeles bus in 1982, made the male driver take the wheel and took his woman companion to a back seat. One of the gunmen gave her an unidentified white tablet, telling her: "If you wake up you won't be able to identify us afterwards." Then he stripped her, tied her up, and smothered her naked body in tartar sauce.
RATHER WORSE was Steve Symons, 21, of March, Cambridge. When he saw a girl he fancied, he cut the brake pipes on her car, causing 11 young ladies to have narrow escapes in 1988. He had an obsessive sexual fantasy about women being unable to stop their cars. When arrested, he told police that he was a virgin and didn't have a clue about women. He was also found to have a bag full of bicycle pedal rubbers that he'd stolen.
FIREFIGHTERS were called to a house in Knoxville, Tennessee, in April 1995 when neighbours smelled something burning. There they found the nude body of a 16-year-old boy and called in police. Confronted with posters of heavy-metal rock groups and a cow's heart attached to the boy's genitals, they at first thought they were dealing with a ritual murder. However, they then found several underground pornographic magazines under the boy's bed, one of which, Ovid Now, described a 'sex-toy' that could be made from the fresh heart of a cow, a simple electrical circuit and some batteries. The dead heart is made to beat, and then used sexually in a perversion which is apparently gaining popularity in the rural South. The trouble was, the boy had wired up the heart and plugged it into the wall-socket. He died of electrocution, and the electricity had then cooked his remains.
A SHY STUDENT, identified only as 'George', was erotically obsessed with his Austin Metro. The 20-year-old lived at home with his strictly religious parents and had no sexual experience of women at all. He began to fantasize about other Metros he'd seen, but his own was special and photos of it adorned his bedroom. Its front reminded him of a smiling child, and its rear end aroused him. He would seek out quiet places where the two of them could be alone, and then he'd crouch down by its smoking exhaust pipe and masturbate. He was described as "confused but happy". His doctors prescribed a course of "orgasmic reconditioning".
DR STRANGELOVE was the name police gave to Professor Tom Lippert, the man with the electric sex-machine. Like something out of a mad-scientist B-movie, the 25-year-old business lecturer at a Minnesota college had built the machine in the basement laboratory of his New Ulm home in 1975, assisted by 21-year-old Harold Tenneson. The next step was to find a guinea-pig. Blonde student Susan Cochrane, 21, advertised for a lift home and accepted an offer by phone. Lippert and Tenneson picked her up, produced a revolver, forced her to drink a bottle of whisky, then drove her, bound and gagged, to the professor's home. Lippert, of course, was a man of honour who'd never force his attentions on a woman; but he was quite prepared to use his electric love-machine to make her fall in love with him. The men carried Susan down into the professor's basement, donned white coats and assembled an array of apparatus. They wrapped her in a sheet and strapped her to a board, after which Lippert spent an hour explaining his passion, before she was unstrapped and shut in a box full of electric wiring. Lippert pulled the switch, but nothing happened: he'd forgotten to plug in the machine. This was fortunate, as he then realised that the voltage was too high, and his victim would have been killed. Even so, Lippert kept Susan prisoner under threat of death for a month, warning her that if she tried to escape her family would suffer. She was allowed to phone to tell them she was all right, which she was, as Lippert hadn't touched her. The nearest he got was one night in a storm, when he made her sleep with him; but then he simply lay for hours beside her with his clothes on. Finally, Lippert and Tenneson found a low-voltage generator, strapped Susan in the box again, and threw the switch. She felt a faint tingling, but no love for the professor. And before the men could try the experiment again, the FBI turned up, having traced Susan's phone-calls to her worried family. She was released unharmed, while Lippert and Tenneson were taken to jail to face kidnapping charges.
A SOCCER-MAD WIFE in Austria became obsessed with her country's World Cup football star Hans Krankl in 1978. Named only as Annemarie, the 30-year-old woman built an altar in her bedroom before his life-size portrait, put fresh flowers in front of it every day and lit two candles, before adoring him in the nude. When she refused to make love with her 40-year-old husband Erwin unless he prayed as well, he sued for, and was granted, a divorce.
RATHER MORE BIZARRE was the 1992 case of the unnamed 32-year-old woman with a long history of paranoid schizophrenia. She became convinced that Donald Duck had told her of his love for her via her neighbour's satellite dish. She was eventually found sitting in the satellite dish masturbating, under the impression that the cartoon duck was making love to her.
PANIC SWEPT THROUGH LAGOS, the capital of Nigeria, in October and November 1990. Men going about their usual business were stopping to look anxiously into their pants or feel their crotch, and keeping an eye out for mysterious strangers who were said to be roaming the bustling streets and markets. The strangers were thought to be evil wizards who could instantly dematerialize a man's private parts, usually after shaking hands or some other slight bodily contact when they asked for directions. The missing items were said to turn up in a thriving witchcraft market, where they sold for hundreds of pounds. Within a week of the rumours starting, the nation was in the grip of hysteria. A riot broke out in Enugu when a man boarding a bus shouted that his penis had vanished. The man in front of him was dragged off the bus and beaten. Fearing a lynching, a policeman fired warning shots, but only made matters worse by killing the bus driver and badly injuring a woman and her child. During this period, four suspected sorcerers were beaten to death, and stories circulated that women's breasts were being stolen too. Yet although dozens of suspected organ thieves were attacked, no one was actually found to have lost his tackle, nor did any of the missing goods actually turn up in the markets.
