LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Weird and Wacky

You know you can't just link them right off your Google account, right? We see nothing.
 
Save them and put them on an image hosting site? Imgur or Photobucket or something.

Post 666 ooooeeeoooo
 
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE


NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
 
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".
********************************************

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
****************************************

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
***********************************

Husband asks , "Do U know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means ,
With Idiot For Ever !!!"

*****************************************
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
And Panic is when both are pregnant.
****************************************

Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a
Heart attack & our driver ran away.
****************************************************************

A woman asks man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these kids
Your's??"
The man replies, " No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer
Complaints".

****************************************************************
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and
Confidential.
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there,
Is also my son, that's confidential!"
=====================================================================================
 
A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, she saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, 'Mum' With the worst premonition, she opened the
envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

'Dear, Mum.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Dad and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's,
tattoos,
her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I
am.
But it's not only the passion, Mum. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the
woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we
want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS,
so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Mum, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Nicholas.



" P.S. Mum, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
the school report that's on my desk"
I love you!

Call when it is safe for me to come home
 
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