oggbashan
Dying Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2002
- Posts
- 56,017
My youngest daughter was married yesterday (with good wishes from several AH members).
I thought you might be interested in seeing the father of the bride's speech which was not presented entirely as written. I cut some of the later part because the laughter breaks took longer than I expected.
I have partially de-personalised it. When I refer to "the bride", "the groom" the xxxxs (the groom's parents) I used their proper names.
How would you give a "Father-of-the-Bride" speech?
Og
SPEECH:
Good Afternoon, Friends, Relations new and not so new, and Ladies and Gentlemen.
I am going to read my speech, which is not my norm. Why? Because when the bride told me she was getting married her main request was that I should not embarrass her at the wedding by giving anecdotes of her childhood. Being a gentleman, I agreed, even though I still have the incriminating evidence on tape.
The most embarrassing things about the bride are common
knowledge and she seems to be proud of them. She supports a certain football team, she has played football, and she is a medical student.
Why should she be worried that I might embarrass her NOW? Fathers are always embarrassing to daughters just by existing. Fathers "don't understand". Fathers are excruciating. Fathers are very uncool and even worse they use out of date slang that shows just how out of date they are. So I will read this speech to make sure that I don’t embarrass her more than I already have.
The Wedding Etiquette books say that this speech should include:
- how proud my wife and I are of our daughter;
- “We’re Proud of her”
- a welcome to our new son-in-law with a hoary joke;
- “Welcome,son-in-law please take the joke as having being said”
- a welcome to the groom’s parents;
- “Welcome to the other Mr and Mrs xxxx”;
- words of wisdom and good wishes to the bride and groom;
- “Forget the wisdom. Good luck.”
- how confident my wife and I are that they will be happy together;
- “We are confident.”
- and lastly, to propose a toast to the bride and groom, but I won’t do that yet.
But how do I say all that so that you believe I mean it? That the books don’t say.
This is the bride’s wedding day, so when I say we are proud of the bride you must understand that we are proud of her sisters as well, but today we can say how proud we are of the bride’s academic achievements, her football – shall I say skills? , but most of all for the person that you and I know she is. I must not forget her sound judgement. After all she did choose the groom to be her husband, which he now is. He and she have made that very clear to all of us who witnessed their marriage ceremony.
I am pleased to welcome the groom as our son in law. He has the same quirk as the bride. They both support a certain football team which is? Apart from that he seems sane enough and even rational most of the time, and a credit to his parents. Thank you, Mr and Mrs xxxx not only for being here, but your care and skill in bringing up the groom to be what he is, a very acceptable son in law.
The words of wisdom I will withhold until they ask for them. I am sure all four parents can provide reasonable advice whenever it is asked for. Whether they will accept that advice is up to them. The bride and groom have our best wishes for a happy future together.
My wife and I have no hesitation in expressing our confidence about their future together. Apart from their support of – which team? – I am sure that they will work together for the success of their marriage as they have worked for success in other activities.
And now I have done all that which the etiquette books suggest, not once but twice.
So this speech will change to a speech about making this speech.
When a young man considers the drastic step of proposing marriage, if he is a wise young man he will have done his basic research. What is his intended’s mother in law like? If she has sisters, how do the sisters treat him? Can his intended maintain him in the manner to which he is accustomed? Can he maintain her? Is his potential father in law alive and reasonably sane? The young lady may do similar research on the young man before she allows him to make a proposal or before she makes the proposal.
What he is unlikely to consider is that one day, as the result of that proposal, he may have to stand up and give a speech at his daughter’s wedding. Why should he? There are so many variables. The first is that he might be refused. They might not have children. If they have children they might all be boys. If they have a daughter she may decide not to marry or to marry very quietly without speechifying. So the prospect of making a speech at his daughter’s wedding is unlikely to deter him from proposing. Why should it?
It is a custom that the bride’s father makes a speech. Customs change. By the time some of the younger people here have daughters of marriageable age the groom’s mother may have to make this speech, or the bride’s mother, or even the bride herself. Are you prepared for that, ladies?
As the custom now is, when a man becomes the father of a daughter he knows that sooner or later it is probable that he will have to make a speech as the bride's father. It is probably one of the thoughts that goes through his mind in the first realisation that he has a daughter. That is soon after the first panic stricken question which is: What do I know about bringing up daughters?
Shortly afterwards comes a sense of fellow feeling for your
father-in-law. After all, he went through the trauma of bringing
up a daughter didn't he? He is still alive and reasonably sane,
isn't he? Aside: If he isn't then your panic should start in earnest.
On one of the few uninterrupted occasions that I was able to discuss the matter with my father-in-law he told me that his daughters had never stopped surprising him. Although it was unsettling it was part of the joy of having daughters. He never knew what might come next. Many years on I have to agree with him. Both for his daughters, and our daughters.
The bride never ceases to surprise me. My wife and I never noticed any sign of instability, unless you consider her choice of which football team to support, or perhaps her yen to own a large Harley-Davidson. But I said I wouldn’t embarrass the bride, so that is all you will learn from me about her childhood. If any of you want the lurid details, you could try asking her sisters. I don’t think they will be any less discreet than I have been, but they might drop a few hints.
I think you have heard more than enough from me, and will be pleased that I have nearly finished.
The bride has made us proud many times in her life. She still does. Now we and the xxxxs can be proud of the groom and bride as they develop their careers and enjoy watching the football team I haven’t mentioned. They have our good wishes for their future together.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please raise your glasses in a toast to the Bride and Groom.
I thought you might be interested in seeing the father of the bride's speech which was not presented entirely as written. I cut some of the later part because the laughter breaks took longer than I expected.
I have partially de-personalised it. When I refer to "the bride", "the groom" the xxxxs (the groom's parents) I used their proper names.
How would you give a "Father-of-the-Bride" speech?
Og
SPEECH:
Good Afternoon, Friends, Relations new and not so new, and Ladies and Gentlemen.
I am going to read my speech, which is not my norm. Why? Because when the bride told me she was getting married her main request was that I should not embarrass her at the wedding by giving anecdotes of her childhood. Being a gentleman, I agreed, even though I still have the incriminating evidence on tape.
The most embarrassing things about the bride are common
knowledge and she seems to be proud of them. She supports a certain football team, she has played football, and she is a medical student.
Why should she be worried that I might embarrass her NOW? Fathers are always embarrassing to daughters just by existing. Fathers "don't understand". Fathers are excruciating. Fathers are very uncool and even worse they use out of date slang that shows just how out of date they are. So I will read this speech to make sure that I don’t embarrass her more than I already have.
The Wedding Etiquette books say that this speech should include:
- how proud my wife and I are of our daughter;
- “We’re Proud of her”
- a welcome to our new son-in-law with a hoary joke;
- “Welcome,son-in-law please take the joke as having being said”
- a welcome to the groom’s parents;
- “Welcome to the other Mr and Mrs xxxx”;
- words of wisdom and good wishes to the bride and groom;
- “Forget the wisdom. Good luck.”
- how confident my wife and I are that they will be happy together;
- “We are confident.”
- and lastly, to propose a toast to the bride and groom, but I won’t do that yet.
But how do I say all that so that you believe I mean it? That the books don’t say.
This is the bride’s wedding day, so when I say we are proud of the bride you must understand that we are proud of her sisters as well, but today we can say how proud we are of the bride’s academic achievements, her football – shall I say skills? , but most of all for the person that you and I know she is. I must not forget her sound judgement. After all she did choose the groom to be her husband, which he now is. He and she have made that very clear to all of us who witnessed their marriage ceremony.
I am pleased to welcome the groom as our son in law. He has the same quirk as the bride. They both support a certain football team which is? Apart from that he seems sane enough and even rational most of the time, and a credit to his parents. Thank you, Mr and Mrs xxxx not only for being here, but your care and skill in bringing up the groom to be what he is, a very acceptable son in law.
The words of wisdom I will withhold until they ask for them. I am sure all four parents can provide reasonable advice whenever it is asked for. Whether they will accept that advice is up to them. The bride and groom have our best wishes for a happy future together.
My wife and I have no hesitation in expressing our confidence about their future together. Apart from their support of – which team? – I am sure that they will work together for the success of their marriage as they have worked for success in other activities.
And now I have done all that which the etiquette books suggest, not once but twice.
So this speech will change to a speech about making this speech.
When a young man considers the drastic step of proposing marriage, if he is a wise young man he will have done his basic research. What is his intended’s mother in law like? If she has sisters, how do the sisters treat him? Can his intended maintain him in the manner to which he is accustomed? Can he maintain her? Is his potential father in law alive and reasonably sane? The young lady may do similar research on the young man before she allows him to make a proposal or before she makes the proposal.
What he is unlikely to consider is that one day, as the result of that proposal, he may have to stand up and give a speech at his daughter’s wedding. Why should he? There are so many variables. The first is that he might be refused. They might not have children. If they have children they might all be boys. If they have a daughter she may decide not to marry or to marry very quietly without speechifying. So the prospect of making a speech at his daughter’s wedding is unlikely to deter him from proposing. Why should it?
It is a custom that the bride’s father makes a speech. Customs change. By the time some of the younger people here have daughters of marriageable age the groom’s mother may have to make this speech, or the bride’s mother, or even the bride herself. Are you prepared for that, ladies?
As the custom now is, when a man becomes the father of a daughter he knows that sooner or later it is probable that he will have to make a speech as the bride's father. It is probably one of the thoughts that goes through his mind in the first realisation that he has a daughter. That is soon after the first panic stricken question which is: What do I know about bringing up daughters?
Shortly afterwards comes a sense of fellow feeling for your
father-in-law. After all, he went through the trauma of bringing
up a daughter didn't he? He is still alive and reasonably sane,
isn't he? Aside: If he isn't then your panic should start in earnest.
On one of the few uninterrupted occasions that I was able to discuss the matter with my father-in-law he told me that his daughters had never stopped surprising him. Although it was unsettling it was part of the joy of having daughters. He never knew what might come next. Many years on I have to agree with him. Both for his daughters, and our daughters.
The bride never ceases to surprise me. My wife and I never noticed any sign of instability, unless you consider her choice of which football team to support, or perhaps her yen to own a large Harley-Davidson. But I said I wouldn’t embarrass the bride, so that is all you will learn from me about her childhood. If any of you want the lurid details, you could try asking her sisters. I don’t think they will be any less discreet than I have been, but they might drop a few hints.
I think you have heard more than enough from me, and will be pleased that I have nearly finished.
The bride has made us proud many times in her life. She still does. Now we and the xxxxs can be proud of the groom and bride as they develop their careers and enjoy watching the football team I haven’t mentioned. They have our good wishes for their future together.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please raise your glasses in a toast to the Bride and Groom.
