M
miles
Guest
A group of 30 Taliban and al Qaeda were whisked away by military charter yesterday to join 20 of their comrades already at Club Med's newest resort at Guantanamo Bay.
The elated guests were seen exiting the C-130 transport in their stylish GI orange jumpsuits and laceless sneakers. Most had to be sedated, handcuffed, and blindfolded to contain their excitement.
"We are proud to have these ignorant, dirty, smelly, barefoot, bastards as our special guests here at Gitmo," said Major Jim Nelson, commander of the new resort. "We will do everything possible to make sure their stay with us is one they will remember the rest of their miserable, stinking lives."
First on their list of activities will be a complete hosing down and de-lousing procedure designed to eliminate that not-so-fresh feeling tourists often experience after a lengthy flight. Next, each guest will be given a brief internal physical examination
Guests will be housed in an open-air room complete with a pillow top grass mat. Room service for three meals daily will be provided at no charge.
The resort is capable of accommodating up to 15,000 guests. Future plans include hiring current NYPD officers and FDNY employees as social directors for the facility. There have been unconfirmed reports that building permits have been obtained for a sister resort somewhere in Manhattan if Gitmo becomes too popular.
Mother-fuckers.
The elated guests were seen exiting the C-130 transport in their stylish GI orange jumpsuits and laceless sneakers. Most had to be sedated, handcuffed, and blindfolded to contain their excitement.
"We are proud to have these ignorant, dirty, smelly, barefoot, bastards as our special guests here at Gitmo," said Major Jim Nelson, commander of the new resort. "We will do everything possible to make sure their stay with us is one they will remember the rest of their miserable, stinking lives."
First on their list of activities will be a complete hosing down and de-lousing procedure designed to eliminate that not-so-fresh feeling tourists often experience after a lengthy flight. Next, each guest will be given a brief internal physical examination
Guests will be housed in an open-air room complete with a pillow top grass mat. Room service for three meals daily will be provided at no charge.
The resort is capable of accommodating up to 15,000 guests. Future plans include hiring current NYPD officers and FDNY employees as social directors for the facility. There have been unconfirmed reports that building permits have been obtained for a sister resort somewhere in Manhattan if Gitmo becomes too popular.
Mother-fuckers.
